jumbled thoughts
got home at 4:30am.
Bickford's= stoner food. Denny's too...where's a craptastic Denny's when you need one. The IHOP Ian and I drove past last night had a big neon OPEN sign lit up...when we drove up it said they close at 9 sun. thru thurs. and then are open 24hrs fri. and sat.
I went to the eye doctor yesterday. Picking up my first pair of glasses ever today. Turns out the migraines and squinting did mean something after all. I hope they look good on me...i mean i picked them out. I think they look good. I guess that's all that matters.
I am NOT happy with myself at all.
I tried not to eat 2 nights ago at like 4am when i hadn't had anything since dinner. I had a bagel. Then I felt like cutting. I talked about it in therapy yesterday but quickly change the subject when I began confessing past eating disorder symptoms. I don't know if im allowed to have eating disorder symptoms. I think im just supposed to be fat. Thats what they always told me anyway.
I didn't/don't have control over it.
Watching 10 Things I Hate About You right now, in an attempt to make me hate myself more. Nothing makes you want to die like staring at beautiful people for 90 minutes. Julia Stiles...do I want to do her or BE her. Same with Larissa Oleynik. Hell even Heath Ledger. Do I want to BE Heath or do Heath? And what about Joseph Gordon Levitt? *sigh* gonna be a loooong day.
I've only had 4 hours of sleep.
I ruin everything. I always HAVE to ruin everything.
Bickford's= stoner food. Denny's too...where's a craptastic Denny's when you need one. The IHOP Ian and I drove past last night had a big neon OPEN sign lit up...when we drove up it said they close at 9 sun. thru thurs. and then are open 24hrs fri. and sat.
I went to the eye doctor yesterday. Picking up my first pair of glasses ever today. Turns out the migraines and squinting did mean something after all. I hope they look good on me...i mean i picked them out. I think they look good. I guess that's all that matters.
I am NOT happy with myself at all.
I tried not to eat 2 nights ago at like 4am when i hadn't had anything since dinner. I had a bagel. Then I felt like cutting. I talked about it in therapy yesterday but quickly change the subject when I began confessing past eating disorder symptoms. I don't know if im allowed to have eating disorder symptoms. I think im just supposed to be fat. Thats what they always told me anyway.
I didn't/don't have control over it.
Watching 10 Things I Hate About You right now, in an attempt to make me hate myself more. Nothing makes you want to die like staring at beautiful people for 90 minutes. Julia Stiles...do I want to do her or BE her. Same with Larissa Oleynik. Hell even Heath Ledger. Do I want to BE Heath or do Heath? And what about Joseph Gordon Levitt? *sigh* gonna be a loooong day.
I've only had 4 hours of sleep.
I ruin everything. I always HAVE to ruin everything.