(no subject)
Holy fuck I have not blogged in about a bazillion years. And Holy fuck, when I read my last entry, I've realized how much I've changed. I'm no longer Miss Goody-2-Shoes/Teacher's Pet/Hermione any longer.. which I somewhat miss but in the hype hype HYPE of Univrsity LIFE I've forgotten my roots and who I used to be in beloved high school.
SO.
What has happened. Um, mostly lots of partying, clubbing, excessive amounts of drinking, getting my arse caned by parentals for coming home too late (or not coming home at all for entire weekends).. boys boys and more boys, and I'm somewhat hating it all but loving it at the same time.
And then there's Todd. He fits into his own category, see.
Long story, cut short: Me & Todd are the closest friends you could get without actually "being together" but last Saturday I was extraordinarily off my face and we ended up in bed (?!) together. I don't remember much, but he told me nothing bad happened. BUT WTF WAS HE DOING IN MY BED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
So I'm keeping my distance from him at the moment because I'm so fucked in the head right now. I miss how we used to be, how we'd just call each other whenever and just talk for hours on end. I miss that. Now I can't even look him in the fucking eye.
All he wants for me is not to "bar him" which I do when I get pissed off at him. I can't help it though. I feel a bit violated and I thought he understood that I have wayy too much respect for myself to do things like that. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't do things like that. But apparently I'm not as innocent as once thought. And this.. it makes me feel cheap cheap cheap.
All I want to do right now is to hide away somewhere and be a hermit. Or a nun.
[edit] Oh yes, I'm in love with Bleach. My brother got me into it. Far out, now I can't even diss those fobby anime-lovers, lol.
SO.
What has happened. Um, mostly lots of partying, clubbing, excessive amounts of drinking, getting my arse caned by parentals for coming home too late (or not coming home at all for entire weekends).. boys boys and more boys, and I'm somewhat hating it all but loving it at the same time.
And then there's Todd. He fits into his own category, see.
Long story, cut short: Me & Todd are the closest friends you could get without actually "being together" but last Saturday I was extraordinarily off my face and we ended up in bed (?!) together. I don't remember much, but he told me nothing bad happened. BUT WTF WAS HE DOING IN MY BED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
So I'm keeping my distance from him at the moment because I'm so fucked in the head right now. I miss how we used to be, how we'd just call each other whenever and just talk for hours on end. I miss that. Now I can't even look him in the fucking eye.
All he wants for me is not to "bar him" which I do when I get pissed off at him. I can't help it though. I feel a bit violated and I thought he understood that I have wayy too much respect for myself to do things like that. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't do things like that. But apparently I'm not as innocent as once thought. And this.. it makes me feel cheap cheap cheap.
All I want to do right now is to hide away somewhere and be a hermit. Or a nun.
[edit] Oh yes, I'm in love with Bleach. My brother got me into it. Far out, now I can't even diss those fobby anime-lovers, lol.