Reflections...
It's over. As of approximately 5:00 pm CST on Saturday, May 22nd, I have become a college graduate.
Now it really is all done. I've moved out of my dorm to home, where I'm going to stay until who knows when.
I was really excited to graduate and couldn't wait for it to get here for about the last year. But two weeks ago I realized that what it means is that I'm going to be LEAVING. I have to go make my own life now; my plans won't be handed to me anymore. I won't have classes from my favorite professors, or late night bonding with my roommates.
The whole thing seems so surreal now. It hasn't really hit home yet. I really do have mixed feelings about being done. Sure, I'll enjoy no more tests, homework, research papers, and eating the same food over and over again, but there isn't really much else that I feel ready to leave.
It feels much more like I've lost something dear to me than that I've gained something significant. Little things throughout the last week have made me feel more that way. Like the card I got that was signed by all my professors. And how all of the faculty started applauding and cheering when we marched into the lobby of the auditorium for the processional. Or how all the professors from a department stood up when the graduates from their department walked across the stage. And just seeing and talking to friends, having our last bonding activities and making pseudo-plans to get together this summer. I feel like I really was valued here, that I belonged and was cared for.
So, now what? That's the question I'm trying to answer...
Now it really is all done. I've moved out of my dorm to home, where I'm going to stay until who knows when.
I was really excited to graduate and couldn't wait for it to get here for about the last year. But two weeks ago I realized that what it means is that I'm going to be LEAVING. I have to go make my own life now; my plans won't be handed to me anymore. I won't have classes from my favorite professors, or late night bonding with my roommates.
The whole thing seems so surreal now. It hasn't really hit home yet. I really do have mixed feelings about being done. Sure, I'll enjoy no more tests, homework, research papers, and eating the same food over and over again, but there isn't really much else that I feel ready to leave.
It feels much more like I've lost something dear to me than that I've gained something significant. Little things throughout the last week have made me feel more that way. Like the card I got that was signed by all my professors. And how all of the faculty started applauding and cheering when we marched into the lobby of the auditorium for the processional. Or how all the professors from a department stood up when the graduates from their department walked across the stage. And just seeing and talking to friends, having our last bonding activities and making pseudo-plans to get together this summer. I feel like I really was valued here, that I belonged and was cared for.
So, now what? That's the question I'm trying to answer...