and that issue is this:

[bluebooks]

If I'm such an optimistic person, why is my writing always so god-damn depressing.

I am incredibly incredibly frustruated right now (and work is just the sweet, squishy cherry on top).

I have been struggling with the same issue all of my life. And that issue is this: I am too nice.

TOO. NICE. I hate the word nice.

I am too sweet, I am too kind, I do

Comments

[circledperfect]

this journal represents who you are. "depressed" is more read as "insightful" by me. it's okay not to be happy all the time, in fact, when people feel like it, it's great to think about feelings and sort out how to be a "better" person. not a kinder person, or a person that is better for others, but a person you want to be. hopefully that person loves who she is, and who she stands for, and what she really feels and thinks as much as she loves all the people in her life that give her life meaning.

although it may feel like a magnifying glass is being thrust upon you (and sometimes it is!), it is much better to realize who you are and your full identity for yourself. this is a hard thing to do (I definitely can't give a ton of advice on it, as I am doing it myself), but it's something that maybe could be exciting instead of absolutely terrifying.

this journal symbolizes that questioning. I love reading every word of it. It's incredibly well written. Incredibly insightful. Incredibly honest. And honestly I look forward to reading every single letter of it. It is something to be proud of, and it symbolizes exactly what you are struggling with.

Your feelings matter. And you matter. More than you could ever imagine. Not because you give, but because of who you are.

I am so proud of you, Em.
Please keep writing.

P.S.

I lost my magnifying glass with our luggage.