(no subject)
(OOC: Ronna thought she put a lock on this.... but it turns out she didn't)
I can't do this. My god, I can't do this. This isn't how it's supposed to be. We aren't supposed to be getting married for at least another year.... and have a baby long after that. I'm thrilled that we're having Grover, I can't wait. But, really, I'm starting to wonder if this whole thing is just one big mistake. We've been together in one sense or another since we were little kids. I cheeted on someone to be with him. Sometimes he makes me want to scream. But that's us, and now we're having a baby. And we're getting married. In six weeks we're going to be husband and wife and in nineteen weeks we're going to be parents. My god, ninteen weeks ago, our engagment was a secret. Ninteen weeks ago we were making all of these plans of marrying next summer, once everything calmed down, and going on a long, long honeymoon in Spain and France and England. Now our honeymoon is going to be delayed, wait and save up to take a nice family vaccation across America in a couple of years, once Grover is old enough. This isn't how it's supposed to be. I love Travis and I love Grover, and I think I'm going to love this life, but I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can be a wife. I don't know if I can be a mom. I don't know about anything anymore. This isn't how we were supposed to be starting out together.
We aren't just Travis and Ronna anymore... we're Dad and Mom. And Grover is going to figure out that seeing the postive results on the pregnancy tests was a surprise. After all, it was. Grover was this massive wonderful surprise. Although, when Grover is older, I'm sure he or she will appreciate the cliche of the conception. A Valentines Baby. An Engagement Baby. Just.... God. A year ago I was dating Mike. Now my life looks nothing like how it did just 365 days ago....
I can't do this. My god, I can't do this. This isn't how it's supposed to be. We aren't supposed to be getting married for at least another year.... and have a baby long after that. I'm thrilled that we're having Grover, I can't wait. But, really, I'm starting to wonder if this whole thing is just one big mistake. We've been together in one sense or another since we were little kids. I cheeted on someone to be with him. Sometimes he makes me want to scream. But that's us, and now we're having a baby. And we're getting married. In six weeks we're going to be husband and wife and in nineteen weeks we're going to be parents. My god, ninteen weeks ago, our engagment was a secret. Ninteen weeks ago we were making all of these plans of marrying next summer, once everything calmed down, and going on a long, long honeymoon in Spain and France and England. Now our honeymoon is going to be delayed, wait and save up to take a nice family vaccation across America in a couple of years, once Grover is old enough. This isn't how it's supposed to be. I love Travis and I love Grover, and I think I'm going to love this life, but I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can be a wife. I don't know if I can be a mom. I don't know about anything anymore. This isn't how we were supposed to be starting out together.
We aren't just Travis and Ronna anymore... we're Dad and Mom. And Grover is going to figure out that seeing the postive results on the pregnancy tests was a surprise. After all, it was. Grover was this massive wonderful surprise. Although, when Grover is older, I'm sure he or she will appreciate the cliche of the conception. A Valentines Baby. An Engagement Baby. Just.... God. A year ago I was dating Mike. Now my life looks nothing like how it did just 365 days ago....