(no subject)
This week has been
so full of shit, but I think the worst thing happpened today. When I
left for work I was so nervous and jittery, from all the coffee Iv been
drinking to make up for the sleep I havent had. But of course after a
certain point the caffeine stops working, so I was just tired and
jittery. I'm surprised I did'nt fucking get in a wreck on the way over.
Then When I got there my airbrush did'nt work right, scarecrow had to
come help me fix the door on the shitkicker and stacey, the girl who
works the autopsy room in my part of the haunted house was'nt there so
I had to work alone. that sucked. Working alone in darkly lit spaces
with enough fake corpses can screw you up after awhile.... so after a
couple hours of work I was really tired, my back hurt like someone was
beating it with a two by four and I was losing my voice from screaming
at people. So when it was'nt to busy I finally went to the chainsaw
room the see what time it was and when I could quit. Rob the Chainsaw
dude came up and hugged me which i thougt was really cute. I like him,
he's weirder than I am. Then he fucking picked me up which made me
laugh my ass off. It's amazing how you can feel so worried, tired and
hurt and just want to crawl into a corner and die somewhere and then
how some silly stupid gesture like that can make you feel like
screeching and jumping up and down. Tonight i got off at 12:45 and got
home about five minutes later. He was pissed off because he had'nt been
able the reach me on my cellphone, which I had forgot and left in the
car the whole time I was at work. Then he said he would'nt let me keep
my job. My job at the haunted house is everything to me right now.
Everyone there is so nice even my boss. He even said tonight "you know
your perfect for that, room don't you?" (I work in the Pyshco ward
themed room) It's just like I've always belonged there and I love it. I
don't have much of an emotional response to anything., so when my dad
told me I went to my room as soon as i could, just so I could be alone.
I started singing the song that had been in my head when I woke up the
morning, Blackhole Sun, it was playing on the radio when I started the
car to go to school, I sang it to myself when I was hole alone and
again when I walked the parking loy to leave work, but now came out
choked and whispery. i took a shower and when I came out my dad said he
would'nt make me quit my job. I'm confused and I have to wake up at
seven. I going to bed.