Rilakkujin~
Title: Rilakkujin
Pairing: Pre-Kame/Jin, otherwise gen.
Word count: ~6,000
Rating: PG
Genre/Warnings: Fluff, crack (ttly counts as a warning because the fluff and the crack in this fic might just prove fatal). Also, angst. Somewhat. Not sure how it managed to sneak in there, but it did. It really doesn't hold a candle to the fluff and the crack, though. Pre-slash.
Notes: Based on this adorable phenomenon sweeping through Japan. x3 Countless thanks to J for the initial inspiration, both J and L for betaing, and L for giving me the final burst of inspiration and motivation to finish on time. You guys rock. <3
Summary: Kame has uninvited houseguests. They're messy, lazy, and they clean out the refrigerator faster than Kame can fill it, but damn if they're not the most adorable things Kame's seen in his entire life.
Written for circuside for kizuna-exchange 2011. ^__^
Kame is dead-tired when he slips into his apartment just past 11PM. It'd been a normal work day, save for the cardboard box clutched in his arms. Shin had sent him a message that morning telling him to to come pick up his stuff, so he had. He'd thrown the box full of spare clothes, his toothbrush, and forgotten bottles of nail polish in the backseat, and continued on his way to the TV studio, where he'd put in fourteen solid hours playing a down-on-his-luck salaryman who's just found out his wife has been cheating on him with their landlord's son. It's been a very long day.
He'd like nothing more than to toss the box in his arms into a far corner of his closet and strip his bed so he doesn't have to fall face-first onto sheets that still smell like his ex. But a strange crunching noise penetrating the quiet of the apartment makes him freeze. With a shaking hand, he fumbles for the light switch. Fluorescent light floods the room, and Kame's greeted by the sight of a stuffed bear sprawled out on its stomach, reaching over and over again into a bag of cookies. The box he's holding falls to the floor with a crash. "Who are you?!"
The creature starts at the sound, staring wide-eyed at Kame and oblivious to the fact that he's spilling crumbs all over the carpet. "Ah, sorry for intruding. I'm Rilakkujin!" he says.
Kame presses hard on his forehead with the heel of his palm. It's not bad enough that he got dumped, not bad enough that he'd had to move his things out of his bo-ex-boyfriend's apartment on top of a fourteen-hour workday, no, now he's seeing things. He's seeing cute, cookie-eating, bear-costume wearing things when all he wants to see is the inside of his shower stall, and then his mattress. He takes another look at the mess surrounding the furry creature and mumbles, "Clean this up," before stepping past him and disappearing into the bedroom. He doesn't judge himself for talking to his hallucinations-so long as they're gone by the time his alarm clock goes off. That gives the bear four hours to clean up the cookie crumbs and disappear.
Except that when Kame gets up the next morning, the bear's still there, seemingly unmoved from the spot where Kame had first seen him the night before. And what's more, he appears to have invited friends over in the short time that Kame was asleep. Kame has to rub his eyes and blink several times to make sure this is real and not a dream or a hallucination. But no, it seems the small white bear and the yellow bird really are sitting there next to the brown bear, that somehow managed to let itself into the apartment-through a locked door-while Kame had been out yesterday. “Wha-What is this? What are you all doing here?”
The brown bear moves to stand up. It would appear it does this only rarely, as it takes quite a bit more time than Kame would have expected. “I told you before, I'm Rilakkujin.” Wobbling a bit on his stubby legs, he gestures a paw towards the smaller bear. “This is Korilakkupi,” he says, and pointing at the bird, “and Kiiryoitori.” Introductions apparently done, Rilakkujin plops back down on his fuzzy backside with a small 'woomph' sound. “We're going to be living here with you. What's your name?”
Still staring at them in vague disbelief, Kame mumbles out his surname.
“Mou, that's too long for Rilakkujin to remember. Can we call you something else?”
“Ah, well...some of my friends call me 'Kame'.”
If Kame had ever before wondered if stuffed bears could grin (he hadn't), he now knows the answer (they can't). Even so, he doesn't think he's imagining the decidedly happy tilt of Rilakkujin's eyes as he says, “Nice to meet you, Kame-chan! Do you have any purin? Rilakkujin's tummy is rumbling.”
Kame gets the impression the other bear is decidedly the more of the energetic of the two when he (she?) starts hopping up and down, one white, furry paw in the air. “Kon-kon! And strawberries for Korilakkupi, please! Thank you very much, Kame-chan!”
Kiiryoitori just gives Kame what he imagines is the bird version of an exasperated look and hops away, which Kame takes to mean that he's not hungry at the moment (and hopefully not that he's planning on doing something destructive to the apartment). Kame shakes his head to clear that particular thought from his brain, then retreats into the kitchen to check the refrigerator. These animals are far too lazy to do anything destructive.
Luckily, he has some purin left from his last half-conscious 4AM conbini run (filming had run late). There are strawberries, too, left over from his and Shin's champagne toast for their six-month anniversary. (Had it really only been a week ago?) He takes the whole container out and sets both it and the last of the purin between the two bears. Hopefully they're hungry enough to finish it so he won't have to watch everything spoil before throwing it out.
Before leaving the bears to their meal, he opens his mouth to tell the bears he's going to go get ready for work, but falters when he realizes he doesn't have to announce things like that to three free-loading, glorified stuffed animals. That, and they're not paying attention to him anyway.
When he's ready to face another day as Kamenashi Kazuya, one of Japan's most sought-after actors and the newest inductee into the Eternal Jeanist Hall of Fame, he crosses the apartment with even strides and toes on his shoes in the genkan. “Um...you guys be good, okay? I'll be back later.” He feels his cheeks go red when he realizes he's talking to the animate toys the same way he does his dogs (thankfully left in his mother's care for the time being). Except Ran-chan and Jelly don't tell him to come back safely. Well, at least not with words, they don't. He'd like to think they're concerned for his well-being in other ways when he's not around to feed them and pet them and love them. “Well, I'll be going, then.”
“Bring back more purin!” comes Rilakkujin's reply.
Kame has a feeling things are going to get a lot more interesting from here on out.
~*~*~*~
He has no idea what he's going to find when he comes home that night. Thankfully, the exterior of his building is as it was when he left-devoid of any smoke or flames escaping from the high-rise windows, no gaping holes in the side of the building, nor any police officers or caution tape blocking his way to the front door. As it appears he still has a home to come back to, Kame breathes a little easier.
What lays beyond his own door, though, is another question entirely. He fears he'll walk in to find his couch cushions shredded, trash everywhere and what little food that remained in the fridge and cupboards scattered about. Or worse, his apartment will be completely bare, all of his possessions filched by three adorable accomplices to a gang of professional thieves.
Hand on the doorknob, Kame pauses, wondering where in the deep, dark recesses of his brain that particular scenario came from. He comes to the conclusion that he could really do with more sleep.
Fortunately, it turns out none of the terrible possibilities he'd conceived have come to pass. The most that's out of order in his apartment is that the TV is on. He sees Kiiryoitori perched in front of it, sitting perfectly still, engrossed in the program (what sounds like an action ranger show of some kind). In the far corner of the room, Korilakkupi sits by himself playing with some paper cups. The rest is as calm and quiet as Rilakkujin, who's fast asleep, sprawled out on his back in the middle of the room, earbuds sticking out of fuzzy bear ears that twitch every once in a while, whether in time to the music or his dream Kame doesn't know.
As Kame steps into the apartment proper, Korilakkupi drops the cups and runs over to greet him, which gets the attention of Kiiryoitori, who abandons his TV show in favor of hopping over as well. Looking down at them bouncing excitedly in front of him, Kame feels the first hints of warmth start to spread in his chest. “O-Okaeri-,” he says.
“Tadaima!” they shout in tandem, waking Rilakkujin from his bear-nap. He gives his beady brown eyes a rub with his paw as he slowly sits up, and then he says the same, a wide yawn stretching the words.
As happy as they are to see Kame, it doesn't take long for their gazes to fall on the plastic bags clutched in his fists. He'd only stopped at the store to pick up some essentials, but he'd ended up coming away with a lot more, perhaps subconsciously aware that he might have an additional three mouths to feed upon returning home. Kame's stomach growls loudly at the sight of their hungry gazes and the weight of the food in the bags-the promise of a good meal. Running his tongue over his lips once, he says, “I guess I'll get started on dinner, then?”
He's never been lauded for making such a suggestion before. It's kind of nice.
In the end, exhaustion wearing on him, he ends up throwing something easy together. Defrosted noodles in pre-made sauce are a far cry from the last time he made pasta (shrimp and scallops sautéed in olive oil and white wine and served with cream sauce over linguine). But it's warm and filling, so he figures it'll do for now. He sets the plates and necessary utensils in front of the animals seated around the kotatsu before joining them, and they all say the standard "Ittedakimasu!" Kame pairs his first bite with a sip of one of his favorite wines, a rare find that somehow manages to draw out the flavors of almost everything he cooks.
While Kame savors the combination, Rilakkujin pulls a face. Smacking his bear lips, he pokes the noodles around and says, “It's good, but...it tastes serious. Serious food fills Rilakkujin's tummy up, but it doesn't make him feel happy. Rilakkujin always wants food to make him feel happy.”
Without another word, he goes back to eating, and Kame feels just the slightest bit affronted. “How come you're still eating it, then?” he asks, his words a touch bitter, like the fermented grapes in the wine he's drinking.
Rilakkujin's expression turns positively forlorn, and his ears seem to droop as he responds, “Because Rilakkujin's tummy needs filling up.”
Realization spreads like a sickness through Kame's body when he looks around the table and sees that neither Korilakkupi nor Kiiryoitori have said anything because they've been eating the whole time. They've not said a word about it, but they're clearly ravenous. As hungry as he had been before, the thought that he'd left them alone all day with barely enough food in the cupboards snatches all traces of Kame's appetite away. He tips his remaining pasta onto their plates with a promise that he'll make them something better tomorrow.
The next morning before Kame goes to work, he makes sure to leave all of the snacks he'd purchased within easy reach, and Rilakkujin wastes no time in raiding the pantry. Clutching a bar of green tea chocolate between fuzzy paws, the stuffed bear sways back and forth between bites and doesn't react when Kame ruffles the fur on top of his head. He's still swaying when Kame says, “Ittekimasu,” and slips his shoes on in the genkan.
When Kame comes home, he brings with him the ingredients for fried rice. It's no more complicated to make than the pasta had been, but he takes it infinitely more seriously, trying to recall the mix of spices his mother had used when he was growing up and tasting the mixture half a dozen times before it's even out of the pan. Korilakkupi watches the whole time, singing along with the rice cooker when it chimes that it's done and hopping up to bat at the strings of Kame's apron like an energetic kitten. Kame can't help but get caught up in the game, and he practically sashays between the stove and the sink, laughing at Korilakkupi's efforts to follow him around the kitchen.
He's almost unnerved at how easy it is to make conversation with the stuffed animals, to adjust to life with them, but he doesn't let it bother him too much. He's always been good with kids and cute creatures, and taking care of them provides a welcome distraction from everything else going on in his life. “Where's Rilakkujin?” he asks conversationally as he splits the finished rice and vegetable mixture between four plates.
“He's napping under the kotatsu. Kiiryoitori's been trying to get him out aaaall day!”
Laughter bubbles in Kame's chest again, the feeling not quite as foreign as it had been, but still a long way from familiar. “Is that so? Well, hopefully this will tempt him out. Ne, what do you think?” Scooping a small amount of rice on the edge of the wooden spoon, Kame crouches beside Korilakkupi and carefully tips it between parted bear lips.
The spoon nearly goes flying from Kame's hand when Korilakkupi flaps his stubby arms and starts hopping up and down. “Happy happy happy! Kon-kon, Rilakkujin and Korilakkupi like happy food! Kame-chan is the best!”
Kame feels a flush rise to his cheeks. “I'm glad you like it.” Carefully balancing the plates on his forearms, Kame calls out, “Dinner time!” and by the time he manages to carry everything out into the living room, Rilakkujin is sitting expectantly at the kotatsu, a miffed-looking Kiiryoitori perched atop his head.
They all sit down to eat together, and after the first bite of Kame's 'happy-food,' Rilakkujin starts swaying so violently that Kame fears he might tip over. Then Kame takes a bite, and the warm rice tastes so good going down that he almost wants to start swaying, too.
Unfortunately, an unexpected side effect of Rilakkujin getting to taste Kame's happy-food is that he never wants to eat anything else. One morning, Kame's skimming over his script for a commercial appearance while brushing his teeth when Rilakkujin waddles into the bathroom.
"Kame-chaaaaan, can you make me some omurice?"
"Hm?” A dribble of foam lands on the corner of the page before Kame can turn his head to spit. “No, I don't have time right now. I have to go to work."
"How about tamagoyaki?"
"No, I-"
"Sunny-side up?" said in English.
"Huh?!” Since when do stuffed bears know English? “Rilakkujin, I'm sorry, but I'm going to be late. And I'm out of eggs."
"Fiiiiine,” Rilakkujin whines dramatically, his ears flopping downwards as he purses his lips in a distinctive pout, “I'll just staaarve. Kame-chan doesn't care about me." He slinks off, presumably to go sulk under the kotatsu, and Kame forgets all about the toothpaste in the sink and the script on the counter as he follows.
"There's cake in the fridge. Why don't you have that?" He's had to keep a constant supply of strawberry shortcake in the house lately. Both Rilakkujin and Korilakkupi eat enough of it to make him wonder if it's the primary food group necessary for bear life.
But it would seem Rilakkujin isn't in the mood for cake, and Kame's learned it's fruitless to try to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. "Because I want eeeeeggs," he whines again, and Kame heaves a deep sigh.
“Fine.” There's a Lawson's on the corner, where he can buy a pre-made omurice and have it piping hot in under a minute in one of the industrial-strength microwaves behind the register. Even though he doesn't plan to be gone more than ten minutes, he still takes a baseball cap and sunglasses. The pervy manager of the Lawson's likes to hire high school girls as cashiers, and if Kame's recognized, he won't make it back from signing autographs to make it to the commercial shoot on time, and if he's late to work, Tegoshi Yuya will get the part, and then he'll be the most sought-after actor in Japan, and that's not something Kame can have happen.
Thankfully he makes it back without incident and even manages to pick up a double espresso for himself while he's there. “Will this do?" he asks, setting the plate in front of Rilakkujin at the kotatsu. He'd tried to dress it up a little, adding some more zig-zags of ketchup and seasoning with salt and pepper, but the condensation that had gathered on the inside of the plastic in the microwave has made the sad-looking omelette look as though it's swimming in a river of tomato juice.
Rilakkujin slowly starts eating it, but his ears continue to droop.
His thoughts already returning to his busy work schedule, Kame asks around the plastic straw of his espresso, "It's good, right?"
"...it tastes better when Kame-chan makes it. Kame-chan puts love into his food. This omurice is sad because it has no love." Rilakkujin makes a miserable sound and then doubles over to clutch at his round belly. “Sad food makes Rilakkujin's tummy hurt.”
Kame feels something in his chest crack, and he carefully scoops Rilakkujin up in his arms. Tegoshi can have the part if he wants it. Kame has a sick bear to look after.
The next day, Kame makes sure Rilakkujin wakes up to a steaming plate of homemade omurice next to his pillow. When Rilakkujin sees it, he claps his paws and squirms happily in place. Kame's heart warms at the sight of Rilakkujin tilting his head this way and that, babbling out loud about how the ketchup squiggles on the egg look like a cloud from one side and a rock the other.
“If Rilakkujin stood on his head and looked at it, it might look like Korilakkupi, but standing on his head is too much effort for Rilakkujin, so he'll just sit and eat it.” And he does, swaying side to side again in what Kame's come to call his happy-food dance.
Slightly embarrassed, Kame lowers his head a little and scratches absently at the nape of his neck. “Sorry, I'm not a very good artist,” he admits, more willing to apologize than say out loud that he'd been trying to draw turtles and bears instead of rocks and clouds.
But Rilakkujin smacks his lips and shakes his head furiously. “Rilakkujin's heart is happy anyway, because Kame-chan's omurice tastes like love.”
Kame swears he feels the cracks in his heart start to fill themselves in, bit by bit.
~*~*~*~
Some cracks, though, are harder to fix. As comforting as Kame finds the animals' presence, there's only so much they can do to help when he has a really, really bad day. An ad for this week's issue of Friday, hanging from the ceiling of the train car, reveals that Kawasuji Shin had been spotted schmoozing with three members of AKB48 in a club in Shibuya. Kame goes for a long walk before heading home. He does three loops around his neighborhood before he garners the courage to text Shin, to find out if it's true or if his management had planned the release of a fabricated story to divert suspicion from the details of his real private life.
His stomach lurches with every step as he waits for a response, and it leaps up into his throat when his phone finally buzzes in his hand. Reading Shin's reply, Kame finds out that the report of a rendezvous with the AKB girls had in fact been made up and released per Shin's request, to stir up publicity. It was less taboo than the reality, that Shin and his new boyfriend had been out all night scouting Shinjuku Ni-chome for a threesome partner. Kame promptly deletes the message and spends the entirety of the walk back to his apartment fighting back tears.
He's barely holding back sobs by the time he makes it home, and he bypasses the animals watching One Piece in the living room to bolt straight into the spare bedroom. Surrounded by bookshelves full of research texts for his roles, painstakingly organized filing cabinets, his dusty computer desk, and thick folders of sheet music and lyrics, Kame pours his heartbreak into the strings of his guitar, choking out half-formed lyrics as they come to him and not bothering to write them down. “If tonight, I should lose you...”
The door squeaks, and Kame blinks through tears clinging to his eyelashes to see Rilakkujin standing in the doorway. Kame turns away from the bear's curious, concerned eyes to curl tighter around the body of his guitar, brushing his fingertips over the strings in random patterns. He hears the soft sounds of Rilakkujin's paws on the carpet, but he doesn't look up until the bear is standing right before him. They stare at each other for a moment, Kame's eyes red-rimmed and cheeks tear-tracked and Rilakkujin's nose and ears twitching with curiosity.
Resting a paw on the body of Kame's guitar, Rilakkujun says, “If Kame-chan smiles, will the water in his eyes go away? Rilakkujin likes it better when Kame-chan smiles than when he has water in his eyes...”
That gets a weak chuckle out of Kame, and he raises the hand resting over the guitar strings to wipe at his eyes. As he does so, a strong, solid A chord echoes through the instrument, and he looks down to see Rilakkujin holding his paw just below the strings, his beady eyes wide in amazement. Subtly, Kame shifts the position of his fingers on the fret board, and then he says, “Do it again.”
Rilakkujin hesitates for a moment, looking up, as if to ask if it's really okay, and then he brushes his paw over the strings in the same manner as before. Kame sees Rilakkujin's whole fuzzy body jump when a different sound comes out, and he can't help but laugh. He shifts his fingers.
“Again.”
Rilakkujin's ears perk up with clear interest when the instrument produces a third sound, and Kame returns the bear's inquisitive stare with a kind smile.
“Keep going.”
Rilakkujin does, brushing his paw back and forth over the strings while Kame works the fret board, and together they play 'Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star.' the same melody his rice cooker plays when it's done cooking.
The last note echoes on even as Kame sets the guitar aside, dropping from his chair to his knees to wrap his arms tightly around Rilakkujin. Rilakkujin returns the embrace and lets Kame bury his face in the soft fur between his fuzzy ears, saying, “Rilakkujin doesn't want Kame-chan to let go until all the water is gone.”
His words are enough to start Kame's tears flowing again, and it's a long time before he's able to let go. When he does, though, exhausted from the outpour of emotion, it's with the feeling that he's no longer in freefall: this is rock bottom, and things can only get better from here.
~*~*~*~
However, Kame finds keeping his life in balance is more difficult than just getting over Shin. The lack of visitors to his apartment means he hasn't had to explain the sudden appearance of three walking, talking stuffed animals to anyone. But then, he gets so swept up in juggling his work responsibilities with taking care of his new housemates that he completely forgets one very important variable: his mother.
He gets the call when he's at the TV Asahi studios, taping a variety show. Thankfully he's on his lunch break, though he's not eating, because it's impossible for a celebrity to appear on a Japanese variety show without being fed something. So he's free to answer the phone when his mother calls, but when he hears what she has to say, he sorely wishes he'd thought to stuff his face with croissants off the buffet table, so he'd at least have an excuse to call her back.
“Hi, sweetheart! Listen, I just stopped by your apartment to drop off a cake I baked yesterday, and-”
Kame blanches. Then swallows hard. Heat prickles at the back of his neck, and he lowers a hand to his collar to loosen his tie. “And?” he asks weakly, wracking his brain for anything he could say in response to her inevitable questions about the creatures roaming around his house. Of course, he comes up with nothing. He doesn't have any more idea how they got there than she does.
“And...sweetie, I thought you got rid of your stuffed animal collection!”
Kame opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to form words, and only managing to resemble a goldfish. “Uh...”
“It's nothing to me if you want to keep stuffed animals on your bed, but it might put off some of your, ah...gentleman friends.”
Kame's complexion instantly changes from rice porridge to sliced plum. “We are not having this conversation,” he gets out between clenched teeth, because really, people like Miura Haruma, milling about and well within earshot, don't need to know that 'cool' Kamenashi-senpai has a stuffed animal collection. Or animated stuffed bears and a bird. Or whatever Rilakkujin and his friends are.
“Young man, don't take that tone of voice with me! I'm only trying to help!”
“Okay,” he grits again, his tone almost pleading in his attempt to bring the phone call to an end. “I'm sorry. Can we talk about it later? Or maybe not at all?”
She sounds a little miffed, but she doesn't press him. “All right. Don't work too hard, and come visit when you have some free time. Oh, and don't forget Yuya's birthday next week! The cake I left you is a trial run for the party.”
Despite his irritation, Kame can't help but smile. His family might be a little invasive at times, but he wouldn't give them up for the world. “Okay. I won't. Work too hard or forget, that is. And I'll let you know the next time I have a day off.”
They finally say their goodbyes, and Kame takes a deep breath, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. He has no idea how he managed to dodge that bullet. The only remaining question is whether or not there'll be any cake left by the time he gets home.
The scene Kame finds when he opens his front door is probably one of the most chaotic he's borne witness to in his entire life. And he grew up with three brothers. He's toeing his shoes off in the genkan when he sees a remote-control duck go whizzing by in the living room, with Rilakkujin in rather sluggish pursuit. It isn't until he hesitantly calls out, “Tadaima,” that he sees Korilakkupi perched on the couch with the remote in paw, and he has to stare at the duck for several moments before he realizes that both Kiiryoitori and a rather sizable chocolate cake are seated atop it. He spends quite a bit longer trying to wrap his head around the sheer absurdity of the scene, which leaves him mere split-seconds to leap out of the way before the duck crashes into his shins. It barrels into the wall instead, and Rilakkujin lands among the wreckage moments later. Kiiryoitori flies away, twittering madly but seemingly unharmed, while Rilakkujin makes pitiful moaning noises as he squirms. Korilakkupi watches all of this take place through his binocular paper cups.
Kame helps pull Rilakkujin from the mess, careful to avoid getting chocolate stains on his designer clothes. “What's all this?” he asks. He's never seen Rilakkujin willing to exert this much energy before, but apparently for chocolate cake, it's a different story.
The bear is still going at it, flailing his little limbs in an attempt to free himself from Kame's grasp. “Korilakkupi stole Rilakkujin's happy-food, and then Kiiryoitori called me 'Fat Rilakkujin!' I'm not a fat Rilakkujin!”
Kame sighs in a 'Do I have to put you two in time-out?' way and sets Rilakkujin down. Seeing his pitiful, chocolate-smeared face, Kame doesn't have the heart to tell him the cake was actually happy-food for Kame-chan, from Kame-chan's 'kaa-san. Instead, he says, “No, you're not. You have adorable chubby cheeks and a squishable tummy, and Kame-chan likes you just the way you are.”
Kame realizes as an afterthought that people have been saying the same about him since he started weight training for Going! Sports and News. He clears his throat and shifts his attention to salvaging what he can of the cake to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks.
Thankfully, Rilakkujin doesn't seem to notice. “Really? Mou, Kame-chan's so nice!” Then he wraps his bear arms around Kame's leg, the only part of him he can reach to hug, and Kame doesn't have to look to know the latest accessorial addition to his favorite pair of Diesel jeans is a smear of thick chocolate frosting. Kame takes a moment to mourn the loss, another to figure out when he can pencil a shopping trip to Omotesandō into his busy schedule, and then he reaches down to pat Rilakkujin's head. “Ne, how about we get you cleaned up, and then afterwards we can all have cake together.”
Apparently the thought of a bath is another thing that can make Rilakkujin run. He wobbles on stubby legs all the way to the bedroom and dives under Kame's bed. Kame blinks after him for a moment before following, leaving the remains of the cake on the kitchen counter along the way.
“Rilakkujin?” Kame kneels beside the bed and instantly chokes on a lungful of dust when he sticks his head beneath the metal frame. His first thought is that Rilakkujin's fur will get even dirtier crawling around under there, but saying so won't help him coax the stuffed bear out, so he holds his tongue. Instead, he asks what's wrong in the most sympathetic voice he can manage with his nose running and old baseball injuries protesting.
Rilakkujin squirms a little in the narrow space between the box spring and the plush carpet. “Rilakkujin doesn't want to go in the scary washing machine!”
Kame has to bite down hard on his lip to keep an embarrassing cooing noise from slipping out, because Rilakkujin is just that cute. “I won't-” he tries, clearing his throat when he can't quite manage to keep the overly-sweet, condescending tone out of his voice. “You won't have to go in the washing machine,” he says much more evenly, and in the darkness, he sees one of Rilakkujin's ears perk up.
“I won't?”
“Of course not. Kame-chan will give you a bath in the sink, and then we can all have cake and watch One Piece together.”
Rilakkujin shifts again, seemingly towards Kame. “And Rilakkujin can get back at Korilakkupi for being mean?”
Kame bites his lip again, hesitating. “I'll think of something,” he appeases.
That's enough for Rilakkujin to wiggle his way out from under the bed and into Kame's waiting arms. Kame spends a few moments brushing the dust from Rilakkujin's fur, which makes them both sneeze, and then he carries the little bear out of the room. Kame figures making Korilakkupi and Kiiryoitori watch baseball for a while is more than adequate punishment for the chocolate cake heist, so he switches the channel from One Piece to the Giants game and then takes both the remote control and Rilakkujin into the kitchen (so he can at least listen to the announcers).
While Korilakkupi and Kiiryoitori whine and roll around in boredom, Kame sings what he knows of 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' in English and rubs a soapy sponge over Rilakkujin's fur in gentle circles to work the chocolate stains out. Within minutes, Rilakkujin's fast asleep in the sink, and Kame can't say he's surprised. The poor bear has had a taxing day, what with running after cakes on ducks and hiding under beds. He doesn't even wake up when Kame lifts him out of the water and wraps him in a thick, fluffy towel.
Clutching Rilakkujin in his arms, Kame forgets all about the cake when he settles on the couch between Korilakkupi and Kiiryoitori to catch the end of the game. It would appear they've forgotten all about it too, from the way first their eyes and then their heads start to droop. Once they too have fallen asleep, Kame grins to himself and thinks about just desserts. He'll give the rest of the cake to Rilakkujin for breakfast and teach the other two a lesson about having cake and getting to eat it.
Kame watches the rest of the game, giving a silent cheer when the Giants light up the Dragons, but his eyelids start to flutter not long after the broadcast switches over to the post-game wrap-up, and he decides it's time for bed. He lays Rilakkujin down on the couch, makes sure the three of them are comfortable, and then staggers down the hallway to fall face-first onto the mattress. He's asleep within minutes, and for the first time in a long time, he sleeps soundly.
~*~*~*~
One day on the way to work, Kame (literally) bumps into someone at Shibuya Crossing. He's about to tell the guy off for not watching where he's going in one of the busiest intersections in the city, but then Kame gets a good look at his face and stops short. The strikingly good-looking young man apologizes in perfect English, and then again in thinly accented Japanese when the foreign words fail to register a meaning in Kame's brain. He says he's a singer from LA, scouting out locations for the PV of his latest song, something about gold and crowns and knowing Tokyo. Kame doesn't know about any of that, but he knows that this man smiles wide enough to show all of his teeth, and it makes Kame's tummy do a happy little flip when he sees it. Kame gives him his card, and the man writes down his name and number on the back of Kame's hand. They're meeting up for dinner this Sunday.
Kame comes home whistling and with a song on his lips. "'Arigatō,' my special word for...you~" he sings, chuckling softly to himself when he looks at the name and number scrawled sloppily on his hand. He should write it down before he forgets, or else with his luck, he'll accidentally wash it off. He calls out a cheerful, “Tadaima!” on his way into the kitchen, but stops short when he's greeted with silence.
A brief search of the apartment reveals no sign of Rilakkujin or his friends, and panic rises in Kame's chest until he sees a note on the kitchen counter that hadn't been there when he'd left. It's a plain piece of paper out of Kame's own stationery set. Along the bottom, written in red crayon, it says, "So long, and thanks for all the cake!" There's another message written on the back:
"Rilakkujin is happy, and he wants Kame-chan to be happy, too."
Kame takes a look around his apartment. For the first time in a long time, his refrigerator is fully stocked, with homemade food and fresh ingredients instead of the usual fare from the conbini on the corner. The living room is a bit messier than he's used to, with blankets, magazines, and various trinkets left out from when Rilakkujin was curious enough to look through his things, but Kame finds he prefers this cozy, lived-in feel. It's better than the sterile air that had permeated the place when the only person who ever came by was his mother. He notices the sunlight streaming in through the windows and the clear blue sky beyond them; it's the first of hopefully many beautiful spring days, and Kame feels better than he has in months. The flowers aren't quite blooming yet, but they will be soon, and somehow Kame knows that things are going to be okay.
Pairing: Pre-Kame/Jin, otherwise gen.
Word count: ~6,000
Rating: PG
Genre/Warnings: Fluff, crack (ttly counts as a warning because the fluff and the crack in this fic might just prove fatal). Also, angst. Somewhat. Not sure how it managed to sneak in there, but it did. It really doesn't hold a candle to the fluff and the crack, though. Pre-slash.
Notes: Based on this adorable phenomenon sweeping through Japan. x3 Countless thanks to J for the initial inspiration, both J and L for betaing, and L for giving me the final burst of inspiration and motivation to finish on time. You guys rock. <3
Summary: Kame has uninvited houseguests. They're messy, lazy, and they clean out the refrigerator faster than Kame can fill it, but damn if they're not the most adorable things Kame's seen in his entire life.
Written for circuside for kizuna-exchange 2011. ^__^
Kame is dead-tired when he slips into his apartment just past 11PM. It'd been a normal work day, save for the cardboard box clutched in his arms. Shin had sent him a message that morning telling him to to come pick up his stuff, so he had. He'd thrown the box full of spare clothes, his toothbrush, and forgotten bottles of nail polish in the backseat, and continued on his way to the TV studio, where he'd put in fourteen solid hours playing a down-on-his-luck salaryman who's just found out his wife has been cheating on him with their landlord's son. It's been a very long day.
He'd like nothing more than to toss the box in his arms into a far corner of his closet and strip his bed so he doesn't have to fall face-first onto sheets that still smell like his ex. But a strange crunching noise penetrating the quiet of the apartment makes him freeze. With a shaking hand, he fumbles for the light switch. Fluorescent light floods the room, and Kame's greeted by the sight of a stuffed bear sprawled out on its stomach, reaching over and over again into a bag of cookies. The box he's holding falls to the floor with a crash. "Who are you?!"
The creature starts at the sound, staring wide-eyed at Kame and oblivious to the fact that he's spilling crumbs all over the carpet. "Ah, sorry for intruding. I'm Rilakkujin!" he says.
Kame presses hard on his forehead with the heel of his palm. It's not bad enough that he got dumped, not bad enough that he'd had to move his things out of his bo-ex-boyfriend's apartment on top of a fourteen-hour workday, no, now he's seeing things. He's seeing cute, cookie-eating, bear-costume wearing things when all he wants to see is the inside of his shower stall, and then his mattress. He takes another look at the mess surrounding the furry creature and mumbles, "Clean this up," before stepping past him and disappearing into the bedroom. He doesn't judge himself for talking to his hallucinations-so long as they're gone by the time his alarm clock goes off. That gives the bear four hours to clean up the cookie crumbs and disappear.
Except that when Kame gets up the next morning, the bear's still there, seemingly unmoved from the spot where Kame had first seen him the night before. And what's more, he appears to have invited friends over in the short time that Kame was asleep. Kame has to rub his eyes and blink several times to make sure this is real and not a dream or a hallucination. But no, it seems the small white bear and the yellow bird really are sitting there next to the brown bear, that somehow managed to let itself into the apartment-through a locked door-while Kame had been out yesterday. “Wha-What is this? What are you all doing here?”
The brown bear moves to stand up. It would appear it does this only rarely, as it takes quite a bit more time than Kame would have expected. “I told you before, I'm Rilakkujin.” Wobbling a bit on his stubby legs, he gestures a paw towards the smaller bear. “This is Korilakkupi,” he says, and pointing at the bird, “and Kiiryoitori.” Introductions apparently done, Rilakkujin plops back down on his fuzzy backside with a small 'woomph' sound. “We're going to be living here with you. What's your name?”
Still staring at them in vague disbelief, Kame mumbles out his surname.
“Mou, that's too long for Rilakkujin to remember. Can we call you something else?”
“Ah, well...some of my friends call me 'Kame'.”
If Kame had ever before wondered if stuffed bears could grin (he hadn't), he now knows the answer (they can't). Even so, he doesn't think he's imagining the decidedly happy tilt of Rilakkujin's eyes as he says, “Nice to meet you, Kame-chan! Do you have any purin? Rilakkujin's tummy is rumbling.”
Kame gets the impression the other bear is decidedly the more of the energetic of the two when he (she?) starts hopping up and down, one white, furry paw in the air. “Kon-kon! And strawberries for Korilakkupi, please! Thank you very much, Kame-chan!”
Kiiryoitori just gives Kame what he imagines is the bird version of an exasperated look and hops away, which Kame takes to mean that he's not hungry at the moment (and hopefully not that he's planning on doing something destructive to the apartment). Kame shakes his head to clear that particular thought from his brain, then retreats into the kitchen to check the refrigerator. These animals are far too lazy to do anything destructive.
Luckily, he has some purin left from his last half-conscious 4AM conbini run (filming had run late). There are strawberries, too, left over from his and Shin's champagne toast for their six-month anniversary. (Had it really only been a week ago?) He takes the whole container out and sets both it and the last of the purin between the two bears. Hopefully they're hungry enough to finish it so he won't have to watch everything spoil before throwing it out.
Before leaving the bears to their meal, he opens his mouth to tell the bears he's going to go get ready for work, but falters when he realizes he doesn't have to announce things like that to three free-loading, glorified stuffed animals. That, and they're not paying attention to him anyway.
When he's ready to face another day as Kamenashi Kazuya, one of Japan's most sought-after actors and the newest inductee into the Eternal Jeanist Hall of Fame, he crosses the apartment with even strides and toes on his shoes in the genkan. “Um...you guys be good, okay? I'll be back later.” He feels his cheeks go red when he realizes he's talking to the animate toys the same way he does his dogs (thankfully left in his mother's care for the time being). Except Ran-chan and Jelly don't tell him to come back safely. Well, at least not with words, they don't. He'd like to think they're concerned for his well-being in other ways when he's not around to feed them and pet them and love them. “Well, I'll be going, then.”
“Bring back more purin!” comes Rilakkujin's reply.
Kame has a feeling things are going to get a lot more interesting from here on out.
~*~*~*~
He has no idea what he's going to find when he comes home that night. Thankfully, the exterior of his building is as it was when he left-devoid of any smoke or flames escaping from the high-rise windows, no gaping holes in the side of the building, nor any police officers or caution tape blocking his way to the front door. As it appears he still has a home to come back to, Kame breathes a little easier.
What lays beyond his own door, though, is another question entirely. He fears he'll walk in to find his couch cushions shredded, trash everywhere and what little food that remained in the fridge and cupboards scattered about. Or worse, his apartment will be completely bare, all of his possessions filched by three adorable accomplices to a gang of professional thieves.
Hand on the doorknob, Kame pauses, wondering where in the deep, dark recesses of his brain that particular scenario came from. He comes to the conclusion that he could really do with more sleep.
Fortunately, it turns out none of the terrible possibilities he'd conceived have come to pass. The most that's out of order in his apartment is that the TV is on. He sees Kiiryoitori perched in front of it, sitting perfectly still, engrossed in the program (what sounds like an action ranger show of some kind). In the far corner of the room, Korilakkupi sits by himself playing with some paper cups. The rest is as calm and quiet as Rilakkujin, who's fast asleep, sprawled out on his back in the middle of the room, earbuds sticking out of fuzzy bear ears that twitch every once in a while, whether in time to the music or his dream Kame doesn't know.
As Kame steps into the apartment proper, Korilakkupi drops the cups and runs over to greet him, which gets the attention of Kiiryoitori, who abandons his TV show in favor of hopping over as well. Looking down at them bouncing excitedly in front of him, Kame feels the first hints of warmth start to spread in his chest. “O-Okaeri-,” he says.
“Tadaima!” they shout in tandem, waking Rilakkujin from his bear-nap. He gives his beady brown eyes a rub with his paw as he slowly sits up, and then he says the same, a wide yawn stretching the words.
As happy as they are to see Kame, it doesn't take long for their gazes to fall on the plastic bags clutched in his fists. He'd only stopped at the store to pick up some essentials, but he'd ended up coming away with a lot more, perhaps subconsciously aware that he might have an additional three mouths to feed upon returning home. Kame's stomach growls loudly at the sight of their hungry gazes and the weight of the food in the bags-the promise of a good meal. Running his tongue over his lips once, he says, “I guess I'll get started on dinner, then?”
He's never been lauded for making such a suggestion before. It's kind of nice.
In the end, exhaustion wearing on him, he ends up throwing something easy together. Defrosted noodles in pre-made sauce are a far cry from the last time he made pasta (shrimp and scallops sautéed in olive oil and white wine and served with cream sauce over linguine). But it's warm and filling, so he figures it'll do for now. He sets the plates and necessary utensils in front of the animals seated around the kotatsu before joining them, and they all say the standard "Ittedakimasu!" Kame pairs his first bite with a sip of one of his favorite wines, a rare find that somehow manages to draw out the flavors of almost everything he cooks.
While Kame savors the combination, Rilakkujin pulls a face. Smacking his bear lips, he pokes the noodles around and says, “It's good, but...it tastes serious. Serious food fills Rilakkujin's tummy up, but it doesn't make him feel happy. Rilakkujin always wants food to make him feel happy.”
Without another word, he goes back to eating, and Kame feels just the slightest bit affronted. “How come you're still eating it, then?” he asks, his words a touch bitter, like the fermented grapes in the wine he's drinking.
Rilakkujin's expression turns positively forlorn, and his ears seem to droop as he responds, “Because Rilakkujin's tummy needs filling up.”
Realization spreads like a sickness through Kame's body when he looks around the table and sees that neither Korilakkupi nor Kiiryoitori have said anything because they've been eating the whole time. They've not said a word about it, but they're clearly ravenous. As hungry as he had been before, the thought that he'd left them alone all day with barely enough food in the cupboards snatches all traces of Kame's appetite away. He tips his remaining pasta onto their plates with a promise that he'll make them something better tomorrow.
The next morning before Kame goes to work, he makes sure to leave all of the snacks he'd purchased within easy reach, and Rilakkujin wastes no time in raiding the pantry. Clutching a bar of green tea chocolate between fuzzy paws, the stuffed bear sways back and forth between bites and doesn't react when Kame ruffles the fur on top of his head. He's still swaying when Kame says, “Ittekimasu,” and slips his shoes on in the genkan.
When Kame comes home, he brings with him the ingredients for fried rice. It's no more complicated to make than the pasta had been, but he takes it infinitely more seriously, trying to recall the mix of spices his mother had used when he was growing up and tasting the mixture half a dozen times before it's even out of the pan. Korilakkupi watches the whole time, singing along with the rice cooker when it chimes that it's done and hopping up to bat at the strings of Kame's apron like an energetic kitten. Kame can't help but get caught up in the game, and he practically sashays between the stove and the sink, laughing at Korilakkupi's efforts to follow him around the kitchen.
He's almost unnerved at how easy it is to make conversation with the stuffed animals, to adjust to life with them, but he doesn't let it bother him too much. He's always been good with kids and cute creatures, and taking care of them provides a welcome distraction from everything else going on in his life. “Where's Rilakkujin?” he asks conversationally as he splits the finished rice and vegetable mixture between four plates.
“He's napping under the kotatsu. Kiiryoitori's been trying to get him out aaaall day!”
Laughter bubbles in Kame's chest again, the feeling not quite as foreign as it had been, but still a long way from familiar. “Is that so? Well, hopefully this will tempt him out. Ne, what do you think?” Scooping a small amount of rice on the edge of the wooden spoon, Kame crouches beside Korilakkupi and carefully tips it between parted bear lips.
The spoon nearly goes flying from Kame's hand when Korilakkupi flaps his stubby arms and starts hopping up and down. “Happy happy happy! Kon-kon, Rilakkujin and Korilakkupi like happy food! Kame-chan is the best!”
Kame feels a flush rise to his cheeks. “I'm glad you like it.” Carefully balancing the plates on his forearms, Kame calls out, “Dinner time!” and by the time he manages to carry everything out into the living room, Rilakkujin is sitting expectantly at the kotatsu, a miffed-looking Kiiryoitori perched atop his head.
They all sit down to eat together, and after the first bite of Kame's 'happy-food,' Rilakkujin starts swaying so violently that Kame fears he might tip over. Then Kame takes a bite, and the warm rice tastes so good going down that he almost wants to start swaying, too.
Unfortunately, an unexpected side effect of Rilakkujin getting to taste Kame's happy-food is that he never wants to eat anything else. One morning, Kame's skimming over his script for a commercial appearance while brushing his teeth when Rilakkujin waddles into the bathroom.
"Kame-chaaaaan, can you make me some omurice?"
"Hm?” A dribble of foam lands on the corner of the page before Kame can turn his head to spit. “No, I don't have time right now. I have to go to work."
"How about tamagoyaki?"
"No, I-"
"Sunny-side up?" said in English.
"Huh?!” Since when do stuffed bears know English? “Rilakkujin, I'm sorry, but I'm going to be late. And I'm out of eggs."
"Fiiiiine,” Rilakkujin whines dramatically, his ears flopping downwards as he purses his lips in a distinctive pout, “I'll just staaarve. Kame-chan doesn't care about me." He slinks off, presumably to go sulk under the kotatsu, and Kame forgets all about the toothpaste in the sink and the script on the counter as he follows.
"There's cake in the fridge. Why don't you have that?" He's had to keep a constant supply of strawberry shortcake in the house lately. Both Rilakkujin and Korilakkupi eat enough of it to make him wonder if it's the primary food group necessary for bear life.
But it would seem Rilakkujin isn't in the mood for cake, and Kame's learned it's fruitless to try to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. "Because I want eeeeeggs," he whines again, and Kame heaves a deep sigh.
“Fine.” There's a Lawson's on the corner, where he can buy a pre-made omurice and have it piping hot in under a minute in one of the industrial-strength microwaves behind the register. Even though he doesn't plan to be gone more than ten minutes, he still takes a baseball cap and sunglasses. The pervy manager of the Lawson's likes to hire high school girls as cashiers, and if Kame's recognized, he won't make it back from signing autographs to make it to the commercial shoot on time, and if he's late to work, Tegoshi Yuya will get the part, and then he'll be the most sought-after actor in Japan, and that's not something Kame can have happen.
Thankfully he makes it back without incident and even manages to pick up a double espresso for himself while he's there. “Will this do?" he asks, setting the plate in front of Rilakkujin at the kotatsu. He'd tried to dress it up a little, adding some more zig-zags of ketchup and seasoning with salt and pepper, but the condensation that had gathered on the inside of the plastic in the microwave has made the sad-looking omelette look as though it's swimming in a river of tomato juice.
Rilakkujin slowly starts eating it, but his ears continue to droop.
His thoughts already returning to his busy work schedule, Kame asks around the plastic straw of his espresso, "It's good, right?"
"...it tastes better when Kame-chan makes it. Kame-chan puts love into his food. This omurice is sad because it has no love." Rilakkujin makes a miserable sound and then doubles over to clutch at his round belly. “Sad food makes Rilakkujin's tummy hurt.”
Kame feels something in his chest crack, and he carefully scoops Rilakkujin up in his arms. Tegoshi can have the part if he wants it. Kame has a sick bear to look after.
The next day, Kame makes sure Rilakkujin wakes up to a steaming plate of homemade omurice next to his pillow. When Rilakkujin sees it, he claps his paws and squirms happily in place. Kame's heart warms at the sight of Rilakkujin tilting his head this way and that, babbling out loud about how the ketchup squiggles on the egg look like a cloud from one side and a rock the other.
“If Rilakkujin stood on his head and looked at it, it might look like Korilakkupi, but standing on his head is too much effort for Rilakkujin, so he'll just sit and eat it.” And he does, swaying side to side again in what Kame's come to call his happy-food dance.
Slightly embarrassed, Kame lowers his head a little and scratches absently at the nape of his neck. “Sorry, I'm not a very good artist,” he admits, more willing to apologize than say out loud that he'd been trying to draw turtles and bears instead of rocks and clouds.
But Rilakkujin smacks his lips and shakes his head furiously. “Rilakkujin's heart is happy anyway, because Kame-chan's omurice tastes like love.”
Kame swears he feels the cracks in his heart start to fill themselves in, bit by bit.
~*~*~*~
Some cracks, though, are harder to fix. As comforting as Kame finds the animals' presence, there's only so much they can do to help when he has a really, really bad day. An ad for this week's issue of Friday, hanging from the ceiling of the train car, reveals that Kawasuji Shin had been spotted schmoozing with three members of AKB48 in a club in Shibuya. Kame goes for a long walk before heading home. He does three loops around his neighborhood before he garners the courage to text Shin, to find out if it's true or if his management had planned the release of a fabricated story to divert suspicion from the details of his real private life.
His stomach lurches with every step as he waits for a response, and it leaps up into his throat when his phone finally buzzes in his hand. Reading Shin's reply, Kame finds out that the report of a rendezvous with the AKB girls had in fact been made up and released per Shin's request, to stir up publicity. It was less taboo than the reality, that Shin and his new boyfriend had been out all night scouting Shinjuku Ni-chome for a threesome partner. Kame promptly deletes the message and spends the entirety of the walk back to his apartment fighting back tears.
He's barely holding back sobs by the time he makes it home, and he bypasses the animals watching One Piece in the living room to bolt straight into the spare bedroom. Surrounded by bookshelves full of research texts for his roles, painstakingly organized filing cabinets, his dusty computer desk, and thick folders of sheet music and lyrics, Kame pours his heartbreak into the strings of his guitar, choking out half-formed lyrics as they come to him and not bothering to write them down. “If tonight, I should lose you...”
The door squeaks, and Kame blinks through tears clinging to his eyelashes to see Rilakkujin standing in the doorway. Kame turns away from the bear's curious, concerned eyes to curl tighter around the body of his guitar, brushing his fingertips over the strings in random patterns. He hears the soft sounds of Rilakkujin's paws on the carpet, but he doesn't look up until the bear is standing right before him. They stare at each other for a moment, Kame's eyes red-rimmed and cheeks tear-tracked and Rilakkujin's nose and ears twitching with curiosity.
Resting a paw on the body of Kame's guitar, Rilakkujun says, “If Kame-chan smiles, will the water in his eyes go away? Rilakkujin likes it better when Kame-chan smiles than when he has water in his eyes...”
That gets a weak chuckle out of Kame, and he raises the hand resting over the guitar strings to wipe at his eyes. As he does so, a strong, solid A chord echoes through the instrument, and he looks down to see Rilakkujin holding his paw just below the strings, his beady eyes wide in amazement. Subtly, Kame shifts the position of his fingers on the fret board, and then he says, “Do it again.”
Rilakkujin hesitates for a moment, looking up, as if to ask if it's really okay, and then he brushes his paw over the strings in the same manner as before. Kame sees Rilakkujin's whole fuzzy body jump when a different sound comes out, and he can't help but laugh. He shifts his fingers.
“Again.”
Rilakkujin's ears perk up with clear interest when the instrument produces a third sound, and Kame returns the bear's inquisitive stare with a kind smile.
“Keep going.”
Rilakkujin does, brushing his paw back and forth over the strings while Kame works the fret board, and together they play 'Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star.' the same melody his rice cooker plays when it's done cooking.
The last note echoes on even as Kame sets the guitar aside, dropping from his chair to his knees to wrap his arms tightly around Rilakkujin. Rilakkujin returns the embrace and lets Kame bury his face in the soft fur between his fuzzy ears, saying, “Rilakkujin doesn't want Kame-chan to let go until all the water is gone.”
His words are enough to start Kame's tears flowing again, and it's a long time before he's able to let go. When he does, though, exhausted from the outpour of emotion, it's with the feeling that he's no longer in freefall: this is rock bottom, and things can only get better from here.
~*~*~*~
However, Kame finds keeping his life in balance is more difficult than just getting over Shin. The lack of visitors to his apartment means he hasn't had to explain the sudden appearance of three walking, talking stuffed animals to anyone. But then, he gets so swept up in juggling his work responsibilities with taking care of his new housemates that he completely forgets one very important variable: his mother.
He gets the call when he's at the TV Asahi studios, taping a variety show. Thankfully he's on his lunch break, though he's not eating, because it's impossible for a celebrity to appear on a Japanese variety show without being fed something. So he's free to answer the phone when his mother calls, but when he hears what she has to say, he sorely wishes he'd thought to stuff his face with croissants off the buffet table, so he'd at least have an excuse to call her back.
“Hi, sweetheart! Listen, I just stopped by your apartment to drop off a cake I baked yesterday, and-”
Kame blanches. Then swallows hard. Heat prickles at the back of his neck, and he lowers a hand to his collar to loosen his tie. “And?” he asks weakly, wracking his brain for anything he could say in response to her inevitable questions about the creatures roaming around his house. Of course, he comes up with nothing. He doesn't have any more idea how they got there than she does.
“And...sweetie, I thought you got rid of your stuffed animal collection!”
Kame opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to form words, and only managing to resemble a goldfish. “Uh...”
“It's nothing to me if you want to keep stuffed animals on your bed, but it might put off some of your, ah...gentleman friends.”
Kame's complexion instantly changes from rice porridge to sliced plum. “We are not having this conversation,” he gets out between clenched teeth, because really, people like Miura Haruma, milling about and well within earshot, don't need to know that 'cool' Kamenashi-senpai has a stuffed animal collection. Or animated stuffed bears and a bird. Or whatever Rilakkujin and his friends are.
“Young man, don't take that tone of voice with me! I'm only trying to help!”
“Okay,” he grits again, his tone almost pleading in his attempt to bring the phone call to an end. “I'm sorry. Can we talk about it later? Or maybe not at all?”
She sounds a little miffed, but she doesn't press him. “All right. Don't work too hard, and come visit when you have some free time. Oh, and don't forget Yuya's birthday next week! The cake I left you is a trial run for the party.”
Despite his irritation, Kame can't help but smile. His family might be a little invasive at times, but he wouldn't give them up for the world. “Okay. I won't. Work too hard or forget, that is. And I'll let you know the next time I have a day off.”
They finally say their goodbyes, and Kame takes a deep breath, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. He has no idea how he managed to dodge that bullet. The only remaining question is whether or not there'll be any cake left by the time he gets home.
The scene Kame finds when he opens his front door is probably one of the most chaotic he's borne witness to in his entire life. And he grew up with three brothers. He's toeing his shoes off in the genkan when he sees a remote-control duck go whizzing by in the living room, with Rilakkujin in rather sluggish pursuit. It isn't until he hesitantly calls out, “Tadaima,” that he sees Korilakkupi perched on the couch with the remote in paw, and he has to stare at the duck for several moments before he realizes that both Kiiryoitori and a rather sizable chocolate cake are seated atop it. He spends quite a bit longer trying to wrap his head around the sheer absurdity of the scene, which leaves him mere split-seconds to leap out of the way before the duck crashes into his shins. It barrels into the wall instead, and Rilakkujin lands among the wreckage moments later. Kiiryoitori flies away, twittering madly but seemingly unharmed, while Rilakkujin makes pitiful moaning noises as he squirms. Korilakkupi watches all of this take place through his binocular paper cups.
Kame helps pull Rilakkujin from the mess, careful to avoid getting chocolate stains on his designer clothes. “What's all this?” he asks. He's never seen Rilakkujin willing to exert this much energy before, but apparently for chocolate cake, it's a different story.
The bear is still going at it, flailing his little limbs in an attempt to free himself from Kame's grasp. “Korilakkupi stole Rilakkujin's happy-food, and then Kiiryoitori called me 'Fat Rilakkujin!' I'm not a fat Rilakkujin!”
Kame sighs in a 'Do I have to put you two in time-out?' way and sets Rilakkujin down. Seeing his pitiful, chocolate-smeared face, Kame doesn't have the heart to tell him the cake was actually happy-food for Kame-chan, from Kame-chan's 'kaa-san. Instead, he says, “No, you're not. You have adorable chubby cheeks and a squishable tummy, and Kame-chan likes you just the way you are.”
Kame realizes as an afterthought that people have been saying the same about him since he started weight training for Going! Sports and News. He clears his throat and shifts his attention to salvaging what he can of the cake to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks.
Thankfully, Rilakkujin doesn't seem to notice. “Really? Mou, Kame-chan's so nice!” Then he wraps his bear arms around Kame's leg, the only part of him he can reach to hug, and Kame doesn't have to look to know the latest accessorial addition to his favorite pair of Diesel jeans is a smear of thick chocolate frosting. Kame takes a moment to mourn the loss, another to figure out when he can pencil a shopping trip to Omotesandō into his busy schedule, and then he reaches down to pat Rilakkujin's head. “Ne, how about we get you cleaned up, and then afterwards we can all have cake together.”
Apparently the thought of a bath is another thing that can make Rilakkujin run. He wobbles on stubby legs all the way to the bedroom and dives under Kame's bed. Kame blinks after him for a moment before following, leaving the remains of the cake on the kitchen counter along the way.
“Rilakkujin?” Kame kneels beside the bed and instantly chokes on a lungful of dust when he sticks his head beneath the metal frame. His first thought is that Rilakkujin's fur will get even dirtier crawling around under there, but saying so won't help him coax the stuffed bear out, so he holds his tongue. Instead, he asks what's wrong in the most sympathetic voice he can manage with his nose running and old baseball injuries protesting.
Rilakkujin squirms a little in the narrow space between the box spring and the plush carpet. “Rilakkujin doesn't want to go in the scary washing machine!”
Kame has to bite down hard on his lip to keep an embarrassing cooing noise from slipping out, because Rilakkujin is just that cute. “I won't-” he tries, clearing his throat when he can't quite manage to keep the overly-sweet, condescending tone out of his voice. “You won't have to go in the washing machine,” he says much more evenly, and in the darkness, he sees one of Rilakkujin's ears perk up.
“I won't?”
“Of course not. Kame-chan will give you a bath in the sink, and then we can all have cake and watch One Piece together.”
Rilakkujin shifts again, seemingly towards Kame. “And Rilakkujin can get back at Korilakkupi for being mean?”
Kame bites his lip again, hesitating. “I'll think of something,” he appeases.
That's enough for Rilakkujin to wiggle his way out from under the bed and into Kame's waiting arms. Kame spends a few moments brushing the dust from Rilakkujin's fur, which makes them both sneeze, and then he carries the little bear out of the room. Kame figures making Korilakkupi and Kiiryoitori watch baseball for a while is more than adequate punishment for the chocolate cake heist, so he switches the channel from One Piece to the Giants game and then takes both the remote control and Rilakkujin into the kitchen (so he can at least listen to the announcers).
While Korilakkupi and Kiiryoitori whine and roll around in boredom, Kame sings what he knows of 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' in English and rubs a soapy sponge over Rilakkujin's fur in gentle circles to work the chocolate stains out. Within minutes, Rilakkujin's fast asleep in the sink, and Kame can't say he's surprised. The poor bear has had a taxing day, what with running after cakes on ducks and hiding under beds. He doesn't even wake up when Kame lifts him out of the water and wraps him in a thick, fluffy towel.
Clutching Rilakkujin in his arms, Kame forgets all about the cake when he settles on the couch between Korilakkupi and Kiiryoitori to catch the end of the game. It would appear they've forgotten all about it too, from the way first their eyes and then their heads start to droop. Once they too have fallen asleep, Kame grins to himself and thinks about just desserts. He'll give the rest of the cake to Rilakkujin for breakfast and teach the other two a lesson about having cake and getting to eat it.
Kame watches the rest of the game, giving a silent cheer when the Giants light up the Dragons, but his eyelids start to flutter not long after the broadcast switches over to the post-game wrap-up, and he decides it's time for bed. He lays Rilakkujin down on the couch, makes sure the three of them are comfortable, and then staggers down the hallway to fall face-first onto the mattress. He's asleep within minutes, and for the first time in a long time, he sleeps soundly.
~*~*~*~
One day on the way to work, Kame (literally) bumps into someone at Shibuya Crossing. He's about to tell the guy off for not watching where he's going in one of the busiest intersections in the city, but then Kame gets a good look at his face and stops short. The strikingly good-looking young man apologizes in perfect English, and then again in thinly accented Japanese when the foreign words fail to register a meaning in Kame's brain. He says he's a singer from LA, scouting out locations for the PV of his latest song, something about gold and crowns and knowing Tokyo. Kame doesn't know about any of that, but he knows that this man smiles wide enough to show all of his teeth, and it makes Kame's tummy do a happy little flip when he sees it. Kame gives him his card, and the man writes down his name and number on the back of Kame's hand. They're meeting up for dinner this Sunday.
Kame comes home whistling and with a song on his lips. "'Arigatō,' my special word for...you~" he sings, chuckling softly to himself when he looks at the name and number scrawled sloppily on his hand. He should write it down before he forgets, or else with his luck, he'll accidentally wash it off. He calls out a cheerful, “Tadaima!” on his way into the kitchen, but stops short when he's greeted with silence.
A brief search of the apartment reveals no sign of Rilakkujin or his friends, and panic rises in Kame's chest until he sees a note on the kitchen counter that hadn't been there when he'd left. It's a plain piece of paper out of Kame's own stationery set. Along the bottom, written in red crayon, it says, "So long, and thanks for all the cake!" There's another message written on the back:
"Rilakkujin is happy, and he wants Kame-chan to be happy, too."
Kame takes a look around his apartment. For the first time in a long time, his refrigerator is fully stocked, with homemade food and fresh ingredients instead of the usual fare from the conbini on the corner. The living room is a bit messier than he's used to, with blankets, magazines, and various trinkets left out from when Rilakkujin was curious enough to look through his things, but Kame finds he prefers this cozy, lived-in feel. It's better than the sterile air that had permeated the place when the only person who ever came by was his mother. He notices the sunlight streaming in through the windows and the clear blue sky beyond them; it's the first of hopefully many beautiful spring days, and Kame feels better than he has in months. The flowers aren't quite blooming yet, but they will be soon, and somehow Kame knows that things are going to be okay.