regretting it.
You can't take love back...the way you can't tuck away your emotions forever. They always come back to get you.
So don't lie in the first place. Wouldn't it make life easier?
Do you ever watch that show called Dismissed? It's ridiculous. You hang out with someone and within a day, you're kissing them, and you don't even know much about them. It's so immoral and...just...not right. I hate it. I watched it last night before I went to bed, and as I was laying there, I thought...what kind of people would want to go on a blind date on TV anyway? This one girl had two HORRIBLE guys, and I think she STILL managed to choose the lesser of the two. Incredible, but whatever makes you happy I suppose. I'm happy that I have the LORD!
Then again, I miss kissing. Espically Markus. Aw. He was really good, or...maybe I made it that way, but...I miss him as a whole anyway:
But then again... I know we aren't supposed to be together. Still makes me sick sometimes. :big breath in:
:let it out SLOWLY:
:sigh:
I think that getting over a realtionship is only one portion of the whole. Because I'm over it, but my heart is not. My body is not. I used to still half way expect a call now and then or... when we were together just ALMOST kiss him goodbye, and then I had to remind myself I couldn't anymore. That's the hardest part. But...that doesn't matter, and he's I guess seeing someone that I think makes him smile. I hope so. If that girl is anything less than goregous and outgoing and perfect for Markus, I don't want her near him. I don't want to see him hurt, even though he hurt me more than I've ever known how to hurt before.
But see...Dave (the goalie for MSU's - college - soccer team wants to hang out with me after his game Friday. And I've been hanging out with Josh (Phillipino Josh - haha) alot! He's GOREGOUS. I love him so much. And he gives good back rubs. That's ALWAYS a plus. Oh oh...and the hot guy in my soccer class talked to me a lot today. I'm supposed to burn him the Mewithout You CD and give it to him on Tuesday. I found out he doesn't turn 20 until Sunday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! So, he's not too old. Woo hoo! And...he's REALLY cute. Wow. haha. So...enough of my boycraziness for now. I'm going to go. I'm ready to take a shower. I SMELL...A LOT....
Have a blessed day.
aly.
So don't lie in the first place. Wouldn't it make life easier?
Do you ever watch that show called Dismissed? It's ridiculous. You hang out with someone and within a day, you're kissing them, and you don't even know much about them. It's so immoral and...just...not right. I hate it. I watched it last night before I went to bed, and as I was laying there, I thought...what kind of people would want to go on a blind date on TV anyway? This one girl had two HORRIBLE guys, and I think she STILL managed to choose the lesser of the two. Incredible, but whatever makes you happy I suppose. I'm happy that I have the LORD!
Then again, I miss kissing. Espically Markus. Aw. He was really good, or...maybe I made it that way, but...I miss him as a whole anyway:
But then again... I know we aren't supposed to be together. Still makes me sick sometimes. :big breath in:
:let it out SLOWLY:
:sigh:
I think that getting over a realtionship is only one portion of the whole. Because I'm over it, but my heart is not. My body is not. I used to still half way expect a call now and then or... when we were together just ALMOST kiss him goodbye, and then I had to remind myself I couldn't anymore. That's the hardest part. But...that doesn't matter, and he's I guess seeing someone that I think makes him smile. I hope so. If that girl is anything less than goregous and outgoing and perfect for Markus, I don't want her near him. I don't want to see him hurt, even though he hurt me more than I've ever known how to hurt before.
But see...Dave (the goalie for MSU's - college - soccer team wants to hang out with me after his game Friday. And I've been hanging out with Josh (Phillipino Josh - haha) alot! He's GOREGOUS. I love him so much. And he gives good back rubs. That's ALWAYS a plus. Oh oh...and the hot guy in my soccer class talked to me a lot today. I'm supposed to burn him the Mewithout You CD and give it to him on Tuesday. I found out he doesn't turn 20 until Sunday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! So, he's not too old. Woo hoo! And...he's REALLY cute. Wow. haha. So...enough of my boycraziness for now. I'm going to go. I'm ready to take a shower. I SMELL...A LOT....
Have a blessed day.
aly.