Feeling bad and feeling better
You know, for the guy that makes me happiest, I sure am upset a lot. I freaking cried. I've been CRYING. Yes...me.
Thursday night: He calls and says he's on his way over from Blockbuster, so he'll be here in like 5 minutes. So 20 minutes later he calls and says oh, well...I'm over at John's. We're all going to sit around and do nothing, so I'm thinking OH GREAT. So you DITCHED me to go play video games with John and Joel. Okay...well...ya know. Thanks for the invite, and I say oh okay. Well, I'm just going to sit here. Bye. So I ended up seeing him later, obviously since we all have the same friends.
Friday night: We both get off work at 5:30, and he was supossed to come over AGAIN, and he ended up going with John and everyone else to eat at Leal's. He didn't offer to pay, and he didn't say a word to me the whole time, so I paid, got up and left. Then I showed up at John's house with a cute little skirt and a cute shirt and heels on, and they were like oh...you're dressed up. I was like yeah...so I sat down and watched them play video games for like 30 minutes, and then I said that I had other things to do, and I got up and left. And he ended up calling me later to tell me everyone was going to Meegan's, but I was already on my way, so like...we get there, I sit beside, put my head on him, and he acts like NOTHING is wrong. Urgh. Then he just gets up and says John is his ride, so I left before I cried because he didn't even come hug me or anything...Then he calls me when I'm almost home and says that he wanted to say good night, and that he would try to come by before he left tomorrow (which I think is complete bullcrap b/c he's basically LIED to me the past 3 nights). I say Yeah, okay bye. THen at 1:30 this afternoon I get a call saying Hey Aly! I slept in too late, sorry. I have to go to Squared's like right now. BIGGER JERK. So I cried and cried b/c I feel like he has no care in the world for me. AT ALL. Really. I called him on my way home from work, and I was like look...we need to talk. He goes uh oh. That's right. You should be saying that b/c you're in big trouble. So we talked about work for a minute, and then when we worked so that I could talk to him when he came over, and he says what do we need to talk about? I say I don't really want to talk to you about it on the phone (besides I knew I could blow up a lot easier on the phone), and I said "All I'm going to say is that I'm not really happy with how.... you have been lately." He sayd what do you mean? I say You've been a big jerk lately, and I don't know if you know that, but everyone else does. So Caitlin is already going to talk to him when he gets home, and I told him not to call me when he got home b/c I was going to bed, and then I was just like I love you. Night. He said the same thing, and so I suppose I'll talk to him at work tomorrow, and then I'll talk to him Monday, or maybe after he gets off work on Sunday. I don't know. It shouldn't be TOO bad Sunday night. He gets off at 11 anyway b/c he has to be back at 7 Monday, and I have to be back at 4am. But....through think and thin I love him a lot, and if he can't make me feel good, then I can't be with him. Lord help me because he's my best friend, boyfriend, and person to lean on, but if he keeps treating me like shit, then I don't want to be with him. As much as that hurts, and as much as I don't want to say it. I might have to. I pray and hope to all goodness that it doesn't come down to that, but I've had that threat in my head. I just pray he doesn't agree. So I'm going to bed so that I can get like 4 hours of sleep before I'm back at the hell hole most people call Target. Sure it's a great place to shop, but I wish I didn't work there 75% of the time. Good night.
Thursday night: He calls and says he's on his way over from Blockbuster, so he'll be here in like 5 minutes. So 20 minutes later he calls and says oh, well...I'm over at John's. We're all going to sit around and do nothing, so I'm thinking OH GREAT. So you DITCHED me to go play video games with John and Joel. Okay...well...ya know. Thanks for the invite, and I say oh okay. Well, I'm just going to sit here. Bye. So I ended up seeing him later, obviously since we all have the same friends.
Friday night: We both get off work at 5:30, and he was supossed to come over AGAIN, and he ended up going with John and everyone else to eat at Leal's. He didn't offer to pay, and he didn't say a word to me the whole time, so I paid, got up and left. Then I showed up at John's house with a cute little skirt and a cute shirt and heels on, and they were like oh...you're dressed up. I was like yeah...so I sat down and watched them play video games for like 30 minutes, and then I said that I had other things to do, and I got up and left. And he ended up calling me later to tell me everyone was going to Meegan's, but I was already on my way, so like...we get there, I sit beside, put my head on him, and he acts like NOTHING is wrong. Urgh. Then he just gets up and says John is his ride, so I left before I cried because he didn't even come hug me or anything...Then he calls me when I'm almost home and says that he wanted to say good night, and that he would try to come by before he left tomorrow (which I think is complete bullcrap b/c he's basically LIED to me the past 3 nights). I say Yeah, okay bye. THen at 1:30 this afternoon I get a call saying Hey Aly! I slept in too late, sorry. I have to go to Squared's like right now. BIGGER JERK. So I cried and cried b/c I feel like he has no care in the world for me. AT ALL. Really. I called him on my way home from work, and I was like look...we need to talk. He goes uh oh. That's right. You should be saying that b/c you're in big trouble. So we talked about work for a minute, and then when we worked so that I could talk to him when he came over, and he says what do we need to talk about? I say I don't really want to talk to you about it on the phone (besides I knew I could blow up a lot easier on the phone), and I said "All I'm going to say is that I'm not really happy with how.... you have been lately." He sayd what do you mean? I say You've been a big jerk lately, and I don't know if you know that, but everyone else does. So Caitlin is already going to talk to him when he gets home, and I told him not to call me when he got home b/c I was going to bed, and then I was just like I love you. Night. He said the same thing, and so I suppose I'll talk to him at work tomorrow, and then I'll talk to him Monday, or maybe after he gets off work on Sunday. I don't know. It shouldn't be TOO bad Sunday night. He gets off at 11 anyway b/c he has to be back at 7 Monday, and I have to be back at 4am. But....through think and thin I love him a lot, and if he can't make me feel good, then I can't be with him. Lord help me because he's my best friend, boyfriend, and person to lean on, but if he keeps treating me like shit, then I don't want to be with him. As much as that hurts, and as much as I don't want to say it. I might have to. I pray and hope to all goodness that it doesn't come down to that, but I've had that threat in my head. I just pray he doesn't agree. So I'm going to bed so that I can get like 4 hours of sleep before I'm back at the hell hole most people call Target. Sure it's a great place to shop, but I wish I didn't work there 75% of the time. Good night.