midterms are like stars in my eyes
interpret that as you will.
i should be studying, right?
and it's stupid to update this seeing as maybe 2 people read it, and not sure either of them understand what the hell i'm talking about - my fault, my convoluted mind.
hamlet makes me high.
reading essays on the use of the word 'matter' in hamlet gets me high.
i'm sort of in a dual state of depression & extreme ecstasy to make up for the depression & try to overcome it.
i end up feeling sort of bipolar.
hmmmm.
i'm so sick of this place.
honestly? yes
i don't know how i've lasted this long here.
i feel like i am in a cage!
stef actually said "go back in your cage!" to me today- it was really funny.
she also made me listen to a hanson song. whoa.
and i didn't end up seeing cak and he didn't end up teaching the faulkner class (man, i am so disappointed in you...) but i got to read sick-ben a story since he was sickly and sleepy.
i got back a psych test which i successfully wrote "blarg" on, i think everyone felt this way about this test in particular.
and foster liked my poem about weird blood and guts and breasts (okay i make it sound worse than it was).
every time my sister microwaves something it explodes.
what does that mean, i ask you?
ramblyramblyrambly i left ryan another long pointless message today. he's such a good person to leave phone messages to. like i know that he actually savors them.
isn't it nice to be savored?
i savor other people.
which tends to make me insecure because i believe that no one could ever like me as much as i like them - i mean since i like people so much (some of them).
then others i'm just like, dude, where's my car?
i mean, what?
i woke up at 4 this morning.
i love the air the sky the trees now i sound high, but seriously, my favorite part of the day includes
looking at stuff driving to school feeling air walking on the path sometimes english class and seeing certain people or talking to them or notthinkingatalll
but all the parts of the day are just anxiety anxiety anxiety and i want to scream but that's really artificial
we are just made to think screaming helps
but really i don't want to scream i want silence
real true silence
that is peaceful
i should be studying, right?
and it's stupid to update this seeing as maybe 2 people read it, and not sure either of them understand what the hell i'm talking about - my fault, my convoluted mind.
hamlet makes me high.
reading essays on the use of the word 'matter' in hamlet gets me high.
i'm sort of in a dual state of depression & extreme ecstasy to make up for the depression & try to overcome it.
i end up feeling sort of bipolar.
hmmmm.
i'm so sick of this place.
honestly? yes
i don't know how i've lasted this long here.
i feel like i am in a cage!
stef actually said "go back in your cage!" to me today- it was really funny.
she also made me listen to a hanson song. whoa.
and i didn't end up seeing cak and he didn't end up teaching the faulkner class (man, i am so disappointed in you...) but i got to read sick-ben a story since he was sickly and sleepy.
i got back a psych test which i successfully wrote "blarg" on, i think everyone felt this way about this test in particular.
and foster liked my poem about weird blood and guts and breasts (okay i make it sound worse than it was).
every time my sister microwaves something it explodes.
what does that mean, i ask you?
ramblyramblyrambly i left ryan another long pointless message today. he's such a good person to leave phone messages to. like i know that he actually savors them.
isn't it nice to be savored?
i savor other people.
which tends to make me insecure because i believe that no one could ever like me as much as i like them - i mean since i like people so much (some of them).
then others i'm just like, dude, where's my car?
i mean, what?
i woke up at 4 this morning.
i love the air the sky the trees now i sound high, but seriously, my favorite part of the day includes
looking at stuff driving to school feeling air walking on the path sometimes english class and seeing certain people or talking to them or notthinkingatalll
but all the parts of the day are just anxiety anxiety anxiety and i want to scream but that's really artificial
we are just made to think screaming helps
but really i don't want to scream i want silence
real true silence
that is peaceful