Dark Wahine Goes To Tranz
So last night was the celebration of Zoot's birftus. Dinner at Oasis was pretty good. More enjoyable just for the communal aspect of things with hookah and bellydance to go with it.
And then we went to Tranz (goth club for those unintiated/not local). Walked into the the pulsing "thumpa-thumpa" that is usually all I need to be invigorated. It wasn't happening. The longer I stood there, the more ... dark... I became. I wasn't all emo-angst-broody Wahine... no... this was different. This was visceral and violent. This was something I'd not felt in a long time. There was rage here. (I started to feel its rumblings on Monday night, mental images of myself split into two beings, one made of fire and looking much like the Phoenix Force in the X-Men Endsong series.) But last night was a bit different. Not the burning personification of change and chaos. No, this was someone who's been dormant for sometime.
The Dark Wahine stirred in all her form and horrible splendor.
Her mantle started to settle on me and I tried to leave her on the dance floor. Tried not to take her to my friends, none of this was their doing. They need not fear her wrath.
I took my glow poi with me to the club so I could spin, find a groove and disappear in a zone.
What ended up happening was that I started short chain so as not to hit anyone. People kept purposely coming to me, closing in around me. My friends knew not to, but strangers kept invading my space.
I became more frustrated, had more problems pushing off the persona of Her. And somewhere in the night I realized I wanted a fight. I wanted a battle with my old nemesis. I could almost sense him lurking in the shadows, green eyes glowing in the blacklight. He wasn't there, obviously, but the Dark Wahine craved her old sparring partner. Someone she could hurt.
I started to try to spin again and it was just not happening. I was restricted and growing more and more angry. Then, my blessed friends formed a wide circle around me, giving me room to let out the chains and just spin. they danced their dance around me while I spun. The Dark Wahine was there, and I tranced. I went into the zone that I used to hit with drumming...
...I started to commune with "God". And I told "him" I am pissed. I'm angry. I'm viscerally enraged and frustrated and hurting. My dance was a primal scream with everything I could muster... all the energy I could transfer to the poi, lost in the lights and music pulsing in my ears... dark music. Harsh and forceful, like blood coursing through the veins of a fighting animal, all instinct. I was there in that moment, only the alternating blue and green of my poi, the blurred faces of my friends on the outskirts of the circle, like a ritual of some sort, in their own place. I heard them talking to me, I moved with the music and hit a spontaneous groove...
...I looked up to see her. Black clad, black hair down to her waist and eyes aglaze with a haughty malaise. She was "dancing" her way into my circle, into my zone and ritual space.
"Battle," said the Dark Wahine. She bared her teeth, her eyes blazed and her pulse quickened. The poi kept spinning with the music. I remained in my trance.
"Come to me if you want to die," said the Dark Wahine, "you will feel my wrath and it will shatter you. Come to me. I dare you. I beg you."
She was already being blocked by Zoot and Alicia, they were pushing her out of the circle, ejecting her from our space. The Intruder's boyfriend pulled her away from behind.
"Awww, please?" said the Dark Wahine. "That's right, you don't want to come here. Go or next time you will feel the cold chain of my poi around your neck in one fluid movement before you knew what happened."
I kept on spinning. When the song was over, my dance ended and I went for water, still ablaze with my alter's presence, but not in her headspace. I could hear her violent whispers, wanting a fight, wanting to hurt someone.
The smiling faces of my friends brought me out of the trance, out of the danger zone and back into the world where I am loved, into the warmth that is the land of the Wahine.
Apparently, the Intruder is a regular at the club and was trying to get in on the attention I was getting. Supposedly I had about half the club's attention (which is saying alot for Tranz) and this woman just didn't think that was fair. Alicia and Zoot supposed her goal was to get into the circle, get too close and get me to stop spinning so I wouldn't hit her. Her plan wouldn't have worked, so I'm glad she aborted the futile idea. I didn't want to get kicked out on such a happy occasion. Not for something like roping her and smacking her in the temple.
The other thing we learned last night: Poi = mad chick/guy magnet!
Seriously, I was sitting (SITTING) on a barstool with my poi. I was just letting them drop to full extension, twist around eachother, unwrap and then repeat the process. A girl in a corset came by, introduced herself to me in a slightly more than casual way and asked about the poi. We talked briefly and she left.
Tower turned to me at this point and said "Wow, I need to get some of those!"
Not five minutes later, I was doing the same thing and a guy approached me, looked at the poi, smiled and said "Hi"... then he went on his way with a backward glance.
This proves my point that when poi are involved my Charisma modifier goes up at least +5 for 3 rounds. When fire's involved... +10.
But I digress.
I got some of the outlet that I needed. I also learned about myself, so that's always nice. It was just odd to be in such a violent headspace. Seemingly out of nowhere at that. It was the first time I've honestly tranced with poi. I hit that same place I used to while drumming, that same Zen. I want that again. I'm toying with the idea of going to Aura tonight for exactly that purpose, but I doubt I will. Not fair to Stormy.
--
No real news right now. Talked to Dad yesterday. He and Grandpa had a talk and we won't be staying at Grandpa's house while we're there. Grandpa would prefer to be alone. Okay, so back to Dad's. Today he says he may just put us up in a hotel. So right now we dont' know where we're staying. *shrugs* Probably Dad's in the end, but we will have a place, so I'm not worried.
Grandma is off the ventilator and breathing on her own. Doctors stress that this is not a sign of improvement, this is an involuntary brain function deep within the cortex and a survival instinct. Grandma has 7 IV's in her... one of which administers a drug to control her heart rate. If taken off of these IV's, she will slip away. No idea as to how long she would linger after that decision is made.
Dad is going to the hospital as we speak, all the kids and Grandpa are going to sit down and have a talk about when to do the job. Dad is hoping to give me some idea for when to get out there. I can't take another week like this. I want to be there before the end and be able to stay for the funeral... it's hard to plan this.
So that's where we are. Mom will be out of town next weekend but will take a day off work to get us up to be with her family. I'm starting to call friends and ask if they'd be up for dinner some night... one big communal dinner out so I can see everyone while we're there.
It's Indy in the month of May. Qualifications, Pole Day, Carb Day... the buzz that surrounds the Indy 500 in full swing. It's going to be good to be home.
And then we went to Tranz (goth club for those unintiated/not local). Walked into the the pulsing "thumpa-thumpa" that is usually all I need to be invigorated. It wasn't happening. The longer I stood there, the more ... dark... I became. I wasn't all emo-angst-broody Wahine... no... this was different. This was visceral and violent. This was something I'd not felt in a long time. There was rage here. (I started to feel its rumblings on Monday night, mental images of myself split into two beings, one made of fire and looking much like the Phoenix Force in the X-Men Endsong series.) But last night was a bit different. Not the burning personification of change and chaos. No, this was someone who's been dormant for sometime.
The Dark Wahine stirred in all her form and horrible splendor.
Her mantle started to settle on me and I tried to leave her on the dance floor. Tried not to take her to my friends, none of this was their doing. They need not fear her wrath.
I took my glow poi with me to the club so I could spin, find a groove and disappear in a zone.
What ended up happening was that I started short chain so as not to hit anyone. People kept purposely coming to me, closing in around me. My friends knew not to, but strangers kept invading my space.
I became more frustrated, had more problems pushing off the persona of Her. And somewhere in the night I realized I wanted a fight. I wanted a battle with my old nemesis. I could almost sense him lurking in the shadows, green eyes glowing in the blacklight. He wasn't there, obviously, but the Dark Wahine craved her old sparring partner. Someone she could hurt.
I started to try to spin again and it was just not happening. I was restricted and growing more and more angry. Then, my blessed friends formed a wide circle around me, giving me room to let out the chains and just spin. they danced their dance around me while I spun. The Dark Wahine was there, and I tranced. I went into the zone that I used to hit with drumming...
...I started to commune with "God". And I told "him" I am pissed. I'm angry. I'm viscerally enraged and frustrated and hurting. My dance was a primal scream with everything I could muster... all the energy I could transfer to the poi, lost in the lights and music pulsing in my ears... dark music. Harsh and forceful, like blood coursing through the veins of a fighting animal, all instinct. I was there in that moment, only the alternating blue and green of my poi, the blurred faces of my friends on the outskirts of the circle, like a ritual of some sort, in their own place. I heard them talking to me, I moved with the music and hit a spontaneous groove...
...I looked up to see her. Black clad, black hair down to her waist and eyes aglaze with a haughty malaise. She was "dancing" her way into my circle, into my zone and ritual space.
"Battle," said the Dark Wahine. She bared her teeth, her eyes blazed and her pulse quickened. The poi kept spinning with the music. I remained in my trance.
"Come to me if you want to die," said the Dark Wahine, "you will feel my wrath and it will shatter you. Come to me. I dare you. I beg you."
She was already being blocked by Zoot and Alicia, they were pushing her out of the circle, ejecting her from our space. The Intruder's boyfriend pulled her away from behind.
"Awww, please?" said the Dark Wahine. "That's right, you don't want to come here. Go or next time you will feel the cold chain of my poi around your neck in one fluid movement before you knew what happened."
I kept on spinning. When the song was over, my dance ended and I went for water, still ablaze with my alter's presence, but not in her headspace. I could hear her violent whispers, wanting a fight, wanting to hurt someone.
The smiling faces of my friends brought me out of the trance, out of the danger zone and back into the world where I am loved, into the warmth that is the land of the Wahine.
Apparently, the Intruder is a regular at the club and was trying to get in on the attention I was getting. Supposedly I had about half the club's attention (which is saying alot for Tranz) and this woman just didn't think that was fair. Alicia and Zoot supposed her goal was to get into the circle, get too close and get me to stop spinning so I wouldn't hit her. Her plan wouldn't have worked, so I'm glad she aborted the futile idea. I didn't want to get kicked out on such a happy occasion. Not for something like roping her and smacking her in the temple.
The other thing we learned last night: Poi = mad chick/guy magnet!
Seriously, I was sitting (SITTING) on a barstool with my poi. I was just letting them drop to full extension, twist around eachother, unwrap and then repeat the process. A girl in a corset came by, introduced herself to me in a slightly more than casual way and asked about the poi. We talked briefly and she left.
Tower turned to me at this point and said "Wow, I need to get some of those!"
Not five minutes later, I was doing the same thing and a guy approached me, looked at the poi, smiled and said "Hi"... then he went on his way with a backward glance.
This proves my point that when poi are involved my Charisma modifier goes up at least +5 for 3 rounds. When fire's involved... +10.
But I digress.
I got some of the outlet that I needed. I also learned about myself, so that's always nice. It was just odd to be in such a violent headspace. Seemingly out of nowhere at that. It was the first time I've honestly tranced with poi. I hit that same place I used to while drumming, that same Zen. I want that again. I'm toying with the idea of going to Aura tonight for exactly that purpose, but I doubt I will. Not fair to Stormy.
--
No real news right now. Talked to Dad yesterday. He and Grandpa had a talk and we won't be staying at Grandpa's house while we're there. Grandpa would prefer to be alone. Okay, so back to Dad's. Today he says he may just put us up in a hotel. So right now we dont' know where we're staying. *shrugs* Probably Dad's in the end, but we will have a place, so I'm not worried.
Grandma is off the ventilator and breathing on her own. Doctors stress that this is not a sign of improvement, this is an involuntary brain function deep within the cortex and a survival instinct. Grandma has 7 IV's in her... one of which administers a drug to control her heart rate. If taken off of these IV's, she will slip away. No idea as to how long she would linger after that decision is made.
Dad is going to the hospital as we speak, all the kids and Grandpa are going to sit down and have a talk about when to do the job. Dad is hoping to give me some idea for when to get out there. I can't take another week like this. I want to be there before the end and be able to stay for the funeral... it's hard to plan this.
So that's where we are. Mom will be out of town next weekend but will take a day off work to get us up to be with her family. I'm starting to call friends and ask if they'd be up for dinner some night... one big communal dinner out so I can see everyone while we're there.
It's Indy in the month of May. Qualifications, Pole Day, Carb Day... the buzz that surrounds the Indy 500 in full swing. It's going to be good to be home.