Merlin 4.09 "It's a nice broth. What do you know about necromancy?"
I'm really, really late with my review this week. I'm been struck down in the prime of life with a blasted cold. It's made my head feel poorly when I look at a screen for any longer than about 10 minutes. I've got to leave for work really, really early this morning though, so I'm trying not to nap so my head doesn't get too blocked up. So I've written the review, but it may appear a bit befuddled...even more than usual. Apologies in advance.
Clippity Clop. Clippity Clop. I’d recognise those boots stained with crap from episode 7 anywhere. It’s Agravaine and he saunters into Arthur’s room. Merlin’s hanging about in the corner as per usual, cleaning something very badly. Agravaine says it’s late and wants to know what the problem is. Why is Merlin working so late? Arthur say that he has something to tell Uncle Aggie. Now if only last episode provided some sort of clue over what he would tell him. Let’s all think back to the end of last week. We had Arthur having a realisation that Gwen may not just sit around the castle looking pretty (it‘s only taken him six years). What can this mean? In fact Arthur doesn’t let us or Agravaine wait too long and informs us that he’s going to ask Gwen to marry him. Merlin appears not to have been paying attention last week as he’s so shocked by this announcement he drops what he’s doing. Arthur tells Agravaine that although he may not like it, he wants to marry Gwen because of her “valuable support and shrewd council.” Who said romance was dead, eh?
Merlin actually looks a bit pissed off that essentially Gwen’s reaping the rewards of his good work. Poor baby. Now get back to scrubbing that piece of armour with a dog grooming brush. Agravaine points out that he too can provide council and Arthur counters that he has too much stubble to be his wife. Um, the nephew/uncle relationship might stand in your way a bit more there Arthur, you might want to mention that first. Let’s hope someone warns Gwen to bulk buy Veet, as Arthur may seem to view lack of hair removal as a bigger stumbling block in a relationship than incest.
“I don’t want a Queen floating around the castle agreeing with my every word.” No, he doesn’t and he’s not getting one. He’s getting a Queen who floats around the castle with flowers/water/towels.
Agravaine goes trekking out to Morgana’s shack and just saunters in. He finds Morgana asleep in her witchy rocking chair. Seriously, love, just because you’ve gone all evil and horse hell crazy, doesn’t mean you can’t get a decent night’s kip. Invest in a bed, a sleeping bag or just get some straw together and make a nest. Agravaine startles Morgana awake and she pulls a dagger on him. Again, maybe not sleep with a weapon, maybe move to somewhere with locking doors. You’ve got to feel for Agravaine in this pre-technology land. He’s got to gallop over there every time he needs to update her on the local gossip, he can’t just pick up the phone. Evil Cliché Baddies have it so easy nowadays.
Agravaine informs Morgana of Arthur’s plans to marry Gwen. Morgana thinks she can put a stop to this as she knows a secret of Gwen’s. This line here makes perfect sense until we get further on in the episode and the plot twists make it redundant.
Morgana’s on her travels again. After the Scottish/Moroccan shanty town of a few weeks ago, what culture clash destination will she be delivering us to this week? Well it’s a dingy tree cave. What with her estate agent stitching her up with the hovel and her travel agent sending her to Crapsville on holiday, I’m starting to think Morgana’s a bit of a push over. Who’s this then? AHHH! It’s a Wildren! It’s a Wildren! It can talk! Maybe it isn’t a Wildren, but it’s certainly some sort of wrinkly rat baby human. I don’t know if it was the case for anyone else, but this Wildren Woman’s voice made the candles on my fireplace shake. The volume for everyone else was fine, but for Rat Woman it seemed to echo.
Morgana hands Rat Woman a shiny coin. It’s one of those you get at Christmas, that you take the foil off and it’s chocolate underneath. The woman looks pleased with this, it’s a good day in the Rat Cave. Disappointment sets in quickly though as it seems Morgana doesn’t want to share her chocolate coins. Rat Woman says it buys a soul. Really? I’m going to try that out at Christmas. At this point, I was just thinking Morgana was having guilt issues and wanted to buy back her humanity. I think her money would be better spent on a make over and a bed, but I’m not one to judge.
Morgana’s back on her Road trip. No horse? She really would get around quicker with one. This time she’s gone to the Generic Lake of Weird Name, which as luck would have it is also a gateway to the dead. She throws the chocolate coin in. It’s basically like a huge arse wishing well. Something’s coming our of the water. What did she wish for? Her sister? Some more pot plants for her shack? It’s Lancelot!!! Lancelot! Lancelot!
This weeks gratuitous nudity will be brought to you by Santiago Cabrera. Not that I’m complaining. He strolls over to Morgana. “I am Lancelot my lady.” Yes…she knows. You’ve met before. She may look a bit different now Lancelot, but imagine her not in the grim reaper cloak and without the twiggage in her hair. Wait…hang on one cotton picking minute. YOU’RE NOT LANCELOT!!!!
It’s not Lancelot. Or is it Lancelot? Or is it an impostor that looks like Lancelot? This is where my confusion first began. Is it just a Lancelot body? Or is it Lancelot back from the dead? Morgana takes Zombie-alot back to her hovel. Again, I don’t want to judge Morgana, but let’s look at her situation. She’s living in a damp and mouldy shack with only her creepy step uncle and the Pirate Bandits for occasional company. While she may think she needs to send “Lancelot” off to Camelot to play out another one of her evil, yet useless plans, I disagree. He’s pretty much obeying her every command and he’s nice on the eyes. Tidy up the hovel, ditch the vengeance and set up home. You don’t want a piece of that Camelot deal, Morgana. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.
Gwen is making a bed in the castle. I’m not sure who’s bed she’s making, she doesn’t actually appear to have a job anymore. Maybe she’s just a temp. Camelot Temping Agency just seems to have her and Merlin (Doctor on Call) on their books. Arthur blindfolds her (not like that) and takes her to her house. There’s a million and one candles set up in there. I’ll say it again, where were all these candles when they were fighting the Dochra? (See how well I remembered that all the way back from episode one? Never say my reviews don’t have continuity. I’m awesome.)
Now, is it me or does the whole candlelight scenario not really scream of Arthur? It’s almost as if he’s told a little helper to set up something romantic. Well I can’t see anyone else around so it must be him. I will say that it is a major fire hazard as pretty much everything Gwen owns is made of wood. Arthur asks Gwen to marry him. Just like that. Gwen hugs him, but Arthur not being able to read his future bride all that well is unsure about what this means. You and me both, lad. As it turns out, it’s a yes. Obviously. Gwen’s been waiting months for him to ask her, ever since Uther was bumped off. She doesn’t even pretend to act surprised.
Hey, who’s creeping outside the window? It’s Merlin. Well that explains the candles. If it was down to Arthur, he’d probably have hung up a couple of lamb chops and half a side of pork in Gwen’s house. We all know that Merlin’s got this kinky voyeuristic edge. Will he be hiding in the wardrobe during the wedding night?
It’s time for a tournament! We haven’t had one since Uther died. Criticise Uther all you will, but the man liked a good tournament and banquet. This one is a jousty battle, with Arthur riding with his lance in hand and piercing through the centre of a pink ring. This show loves a bit of symbolism, doesn’t it? Gwen’s got her feet under the table already and is sitting in Morgana’s old seat in the Royal Box. Not bad, eh? One minute she’s making someone’s bed and now she’s got VIP tickets to every event going. Arthur and horse trot on over to Merlin. You’ve got to feel sorry for the boy. Merlin raided Yankee Candle for the proposal, keeps Arthur safe from harm and completely dotes on him, yet he’s still just a servant. Will he have to serve Gwen as well? Awkward. I am actually quite interested to see how this Arthur/Merlin/Gwen dynamic will work once the marriage goes ahead. If I were Gwen, I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be with my husband’s servant standing over us as we sleep and dragging him out of bed.
So the candles were definitely done by Merlin as we hear that Arthur’s idea of romance is sweaty men beating it out of each other all day. I say whatever floats your boat, but Merlin suggests that Gwen may feel differently. I’m sure she will, sweetheart, but that’s another problem for another day.
There’s a stranger getting ready to lance the pink ring. His horse appears to be tapping out some sort of coded message with his hoof. “It’s…not…real… Lancelot. Oh…and…Merlin…has…magic…Neigh.” The stranger hurls himself forward and deftly secures the ring on the end of his lance. The peasants wave their ribbon sticks in joy. They do love those ribbon sticks in Camelot. The stranger, like the previous competitors, takes the ring and hands it to Gwen. Who could it be?! Who could it be?! Why it’s Zombie-a lot! What way to better announce to your friends that you’re still alive than during a jousting competition?
There is a mini banquet with Arthur, the Knights, Agravaine and Gwen around the table. It’s a pretty piss poor excuse for a banquet if you ask me. Uther would not be pleased. Poor old Merlin appears to be serving everyone. I think it would have been nice if he was sitting at the table too. Everyone around that table is his friend before they are his superiors. I suppose you can argue that maybe it’s Agravaine’s influence that he couldn’t be invited to the table. That makes sense, story wise, but I just think it would have been nice.
Zombie-alot gives a speech. I must say it is quite a bad impersonation of Lancelot. I don’t buy it and by the look on Merlin’s face, he’s got his suspicions too. Actually if it had been the real Lancelot, then I think he would have had Merlin sit at the table. He knew and understood who Merlin was and the position he put himself in. Zombie-alot is saying things that Lancelot would say, but it’s the little things that are missing.
One slightly weird point. “Lancelot’s” talking about where he was found and he mentions the Something of Somewhere. Elyan points out that the place is in Cendred’s kingdom. Has someone not updated Elyan that Cendred’s dead? It’s been well over a year, does he not read the newsletter? Surely someone else is on the throne now?
Merlin takes Zombie-alot to his room and tells him that he can have his bed. Where did Lancelot sleep for that year he was in Camelot? Surely he didn’t share Merlin’s room for that whole time? Zombie-a lot puts his foot in it big time though and doesn’t realise Merlin has magic. Oops. Merlin goes out to Gaius to tell him of this revelation. Now, I’m hoping that Gaius has some big physician storyline off screen that we aren’t seeing, that’s keeping his mind occupied, because with Merlin’s huge statement that one of their best friends that’s catnapping on the bed next door can not possible be Lancelot, he responds with “give him time.” Give him time to what?!
Agravaine goes to see Morgana to tell her how Evil Plan of the Week is working out. He says that Lancelot is convincing, but the problem lies with Gwen. She does not love Lancelot, she is fully in love with Arthur. Who the hell does Agravaine think he is, Oprah? Like he would know what Gwen feels! We all know Gaius is Gwen’s Camelot gal pal. This is where in the episode I start to grit my teeth a little more. Morgana is going to enchant Gwen to display feelings for Lancelot.
Now before I go further on with the review, let me just explain why this grates me so. The show seem to think that Gwen is so in love with Arthur, that the reappearance of her first love, back from the dead, would expel no feelings. This is utterly, utterly ridiculous. Human’s have complex feelings which are often uncontrollable, complex and contradicting. If my first boyfriend came back from the dead, I would have hugely confusing, strong, and emotional feelings, even though we weren’t together when he passed away or had even seen each other for a long time. I’m not saying that rational thoughts wouldn’t eventually set in, but the shock of the event would cause feelings you couldn’t explain or control.
Let’s look at Gwen in respect to this. Lancelot was her first love and actually had stronger feelings for him than Arthur. She never chose for Lancelot to go away, that decision was made for her. After that, for some reason the show has left us in limbo in terms of Gwen and Lancelot. Just because someone isn’t there, it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. The Arthur/Gwen relationship has been the same from the beginning, it’s been at a constant level. Whether that’s full on romantic love or a sweet, caring friendship is obviously down to each viewer’s own perception of it. It actually doesn’t make any difference on Gwen’s feelings for Lancelot. At the end of season 3, Lancelot returned and then we missed a year and then he disappeared again. I feel like we missed something in Gwen/Lancelot’s dynamic in that year. There was definitely something between them if the beginning of the season was anything to go by. At the very least, there was unfinished business there.
I’ve always had a little niggle about Gwen’s character. They’ve always made her ‘perfect’. She’s good, kind, noble, caring, a good friend, honest, loving, hard working and smart. Where are the flaws? Everyone, even the best people have a few flaws in their characters. That’s what’s makes us human and that’s what makes television characters believable and relatable. I actually thought this would be a great episode for Gwen, because we would finally see a more complex side of her character. Having her being pulled towards her former love, to have a weak moment in a situation which is unthinkable, would have beautifully rounded out her character. It would have been a flaw, a weakness which would have been understandable. Unfortunately the show didn’t let us see Gwen’s mindset through most of this unique situation. She remained entirely passive underneath an enchantment to bring out emotion.
Ok, back to the review. Zombie-alot appears at Gwen’s door and she lets him in. He’s been dressed by House of Morgana, rocking the Johnny Cash look. He looks hot with it though, so I’ll forgive the fact that the black clothes are screamingly obvious for a pastel loving boy. He’s here to offer his congratulations to Gwen for her marriage. He gives her the enchanted bracelet from Morgana. What’s with this show and all the enchanted jewellery. We all know how it goes. Someone wears it, gets enchanted, then it’s removed and chucked in Gaius’s junk drawer with the pizza menus and random paperclips. He’s got quite a collection now.
“Chicken is good. It’s a nice broth. What do you know about necromancy?”
Okay, no matter what I think of the episode as a whole, that could be the line of the season for me. I loved it. Merlin goes on to question Gaius on the topic. Gaius says there is no way for sure to know if Zombie-alot has been raised from the dead. Merlin then produces a book called “The Art of Necromancy.” It looks like it came out of Agravaine’s secret collection of the ‘A-Z of Magic’ he’s got hidden under his bed.
I’ve just started watching Supernatural, so I was shouting ‘demon trap!’ when Merlin was painting that pattern on the floor. It turns out it doesn’t trap Lancelot though, it’s just like a Ye Olde X Ray machine.
Day 26 of that two day tournament and Gwen’s sneaking about by the tents. Oh look, another close up of that tacky old enchanted bangle, just to remind us that the only way Gwen is going to do something rather than remain passive, is if she’s under a spell. If you forget the idiotic plot contrivance of the enchanted bracelet, then this scene works really well. It’s very sexy and show’s how torn Gwen is between the two men. I don’t really understand why Morgana wasted her chocolate coin on bringing Lancelot back if she was going to enchant Gwen too. The whole point of it needing to be Lancelot was because Gwen had feelings for him. Morgana could have just got buy one, get one free on those bracelets and given one to Gwen and one to George the World’s Best Manservant and you would have had the same outcome.
It’s a Arthur vs. Sir Leon rematch from season two. Sir Leon goes flying, but I think he’s throwing the competition again. He’s so epic, he’s happy as long as he’s got his little crossbow collection. Gwen looks more worried about him than she has about anyone else this episode. She really does have a kink for knights, doesn’t she? That’s ok Gwen, Merlin does too.
I did like the teeny tiny bit of conversation between Percival and Merlin, especially Merlin’s little laughing ‘yeah’ at the end. Arthur is facing Zombie-alot in the final. Gaius warns Merlin to be on the ready with his magic, incase Arthur gets hurt. You hear that, Merls? Be on the ready! Ok? Good. They both charge at each other, but Zombie-alot manages to strike Arthur painfully on the chest. Merlin winces. Hey, Merlin! Great job with being on standby with the magic. That worked a treat.
“Lancelot” yields the competition because he’s the noblest zombie in all the land. Arthur says the same thing…only without mentioning the zombie part. The peasants wave their ribbon sticks, except those that can only afford imaginary ribbon sticks and they wave those. Again, a really nice non-verbal Gwen and Lancelot scene afterwards. Very sexy and passionate. Magic bracelet you say? I can’t hear you LALALALALALALALA.
Later that night and Zombie-alot is rooming the halls and Merlin is creeping after him. He’s having a very ‘creeping’ sort of episode. Now Gwen’s creeping around the castle. Merlin uses his magic to send Zombie-alot flying. Apparently ‘The Big Book of Necromancy’ wasn’t as in-depth as it first appeared, as it doesn’t seem to explain what to do once you’ve identified someone as being brought back from the dead. I think Merlin should let Agravaine know so he can get his money back. Zombie-alot wakes up and knocks out Merlin and Agravaine goes to wake up Arthur.
Gwen and Zombie-alot are kissing in the council chambers when Arthur enters. He looks confused that two people can kiss without there being backlighting and a sting quartet hiding in the linen closet. Confusion soon turns to anger though and he charges at them and starts fighting with Zombie-alot. Gwen eventually steps between them though and begs them to stop. Zombie-a lot gets thrown in the dungeon that I don’t believe we’ve seen since series one. While Gwen just gets thrown in the bog standard ‘escape-guaranteed’ dungeon. She throws off the enchanted bangle (Gaius will be down to nab that later) and starts to cry.
Agravaine is in Arthur’s room and advises him that death is the only course of action. I can’t believe him and Uther didn’t get on. In the council chambers, Arthur tells everyone to leave so him and Gwen are alone. After last week where Gwen and Elyan acknowledged their relationship to each other, this week they are back to forgetting they are siblings. Elyan, frankly, couldn’t give a sod.
This scene got such a mixed response from me. On the one hand, Arthur’s reaction is bang on for his character and is brilliantly played. There is nothing wrong with how Gwen is being played, it’s just all in how it’s written. She’s now back to passive, meek Gwen. I really do think the show missed a trick here by toning down any emotions Gwen is showing to one. If they had her not enchanted then in this scene she could have been guilty, confused, torn, angry, regretful, defiant, independent. She has a reasonable point about how long she’s waited for Arthur, but that got lost in there. She just showed confusion really. This is ultimately the one place in the show where she could take hold of her own destiny. Nothing that happened here though was Gwen’s choice or through her impetus.
Merlin comes to wave Gwen off. Elyan’s behind on his news again, because he doesn’t appear to be there. I assume that’s the only explanation, because otherwise what sense would it make for him to at least see her off, if not go with her. She’s dragging along a horseless cart. At the rate she’s going it’ll take four months to get out of the Castle grounds. Don’t you help her Merlin, you just stand there and watch. Why doesn’t she steal a horse? She’s banished, it’s not like it’ll matter.
Merlin goes to see Arthur as they are packing the wedding stuff away. He asks him if he can forgive Gwen. Arthur says that he can, but he can never trust her. Merlin’s goes back to bitching about Agravaine. Speak of the devil, he arrives with news. It appears that the last thing Morgana asked Zombie-alot to do was kill himself.
Okay, I’ll admit it. I still don’t know what the heck’s going on. When Zombie-alot killed himself, that meant that Lancelot is dead now for good? What the hell did Merlin do to him just before he set him out in his Fire Boat? Did he bring him back? The real Lancelot? If the real Lancelot was in there the whole time, why did we get the Zombie version? If Merlin could bring him back to speak, why couldn’t he bring him back for keeps?
This episode was very well acted, very nicely shot and the action sequences were really good. I did have one or two problems with it. However, unlike some weeks where those problems were tiny, these ones were huge. The first one, as I spoke of in depth was making Gwen enchanted. It took away any realism and depth to the unique situation that these characters were in. Secondly is unless I’m very much mistaken, they’ve killed off Lancelot. Am I wrong? Someone please tell me that I’ve misunderstood what happened. If this is the case then I’m pretty mad, and I really don’t get that irate with this show. I’m fairly easy going and forgiving.
I understand that they can’t get Santiago a lot, but why do something as final as kill him off. Twice! It completely changes one of the foundations of the common legend, because obviously that’s Guinevere and Lancelot over. I’ve always understood that the show plays a hell of a lot with the journey and details to get to these well known cornerstones, but I was always of the understanding that the end result is pretty much set in stone. You can’t not have Guinevere and Lancelot. I don’t care if they only imply it during the series and leave it ambiguous once the show ends, but they can’t just write it out as a blip!
I suppose they could bring him back from the dead again, but why do I not see that as likely. I just don’t understand. That love triangle is an absolute treat of a story to have in your arsenal. Why chuck it away? It makes no sense. Am I missing something? I feel like I am. It’s like they’ve tried to play what should be years worth of story out in 45 minutes. It didn’t work for me, show. I still love you, but you’re skating on thin ice here. Proceed.
Next Week…
Elyan…
More Elyan…
And even more Elyan…