Mega Evaluation, Part 1
I was gonna talk about my shitty day, but I'm not gonna because I don't wanna. It's not going to solve a damn thing, and it's really just about the same ol' thing: university sucks, you're not learning anything, tests make you pull answers out of your ass, written assignments are stupid, and so on. So instead I'll jot down some thoughts about Pokemon mega evolutions, which are all the rage. It would appear that GameFreak/Nintendo intends to fully milk the mega evolution Miltank (speaking of which, Mega Miltank would be boss), and it's really getting out of hand. But to be honest, it got out of hand the minute things like Mega Gengar, Mega Kangaskhan, and Mega Lucario became a thing. So getting op shit like Mega Salamence and Mega Metagross (which I'll address here) is really not going to make a difference now because that pandora's box has been opened, and their idea of "balance" is really out of balance.
But anyway, here's them. I'm not gonna cover all of them today, just the ones I like.
MEGA AUDINO
[vibrates intensely]
GUI IS REACTING TO THE MEGA AUDICKSTONE!
[mega evolves]
CCOOOOOOOOOOOOCKSSSSS!
MEGA GUI USED SPERM MOONBEAM.
all the basic bitches fainted...
I'm just fucking done. I am DONE. Not only is Mega Audino the perfect combination of Sailor Moon and Puella Magi Madoka Magica, it's also the cutest mega by far, and prettier than fake Latina bitch Mega Diancie (for those who don't know it, the carbuncle is from South American legend). Mega Audino also has nothing to envy Mega Diancie, who gave up its awesome 50/150/150 defenses upon mega evolving and turned to offense (boo!) So Mega Diancie has 50/110/110 defenses, which is not remarkable at all given her HP stat. Of course, Mega Diancie has better offenses than Mega Audino (so does Mega Altaria for that matter) but you forget that Mega Audino is meant to support + heal while his partner does all the attacking, and unfortunately Mega Altaria and Mega Diancie just aren't that good at support.
Let me explain Mega Audino in terms simple sissies like y'all can understand:
It has 103/126/126 defenses. That's more balanced than Blissey (who isn't fairy), higher than Clefable and Aromatisse, almost as bulky as Wigglytuff in terms of HP, and much more physically defensive than Florges. None of those, by the way (except Aromatisse) can set up Trick Room, and none of them share M-Audi's type except Wigglytuff who has terribad stats.
Those defensive stats would be meh if M-Audi was still Normal, but because it's Normal-FAIRY, they're a game changer. It gives him 2 neat resistances to Bug and Dark, and 2 awesome immunities to Dragon and Ghost. He's got plenty of moves to heal himself, his partner, and get rid of status, so damage and status doesn't scare him easily.
So what is he lacking? Speed (only 50) and offensive power (60 Attack and 80 Sp. Attack), which is why you absolutely must use M-Audi to support the team while they do the ass-kicking. Mega Audino is everything my darling Emboar wants in a partner, and even Gothitelle appreciates his support (I may breed a more offensive Gothi now).
There's nothing about M-Audi that I don't love. Well, okay, I don't love Healer too much, but I'm not sure what else would be good on it...? Regenerator is fantastic, but it doesn't do anything for M-Audi's partner, and mons such as him work best in 2v2 battles, not singles.
Overall Rating: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 / 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
MEGA CAMERUPT I am really excited about this one. Camerupt's a bro, but it never had anything worth using, especially in Hoenn. It got Solid Rock later on, and better moves (Earth Power!) but it's not until now that it's better. I resent that its mega is not a full-evolution (just like Mawile, just like Sableye, just like Banette) but that aside, this is a neat camel dude-bro. At 20 speed, Mega Camerupt is going to be the fastest thing on the field after [insert Trick Room setter here] activates Trick Room (and of course, you need to run Protect on MC so he can mega evolve safely during the first turn and give the TR-setter time to set up). Speaking of the TR setter, Camerupt's Earthquake is hella powerful, so if your setter has Protect also (or flies/has Levitate? I've seen people with TR on Gengar, even tho Gengar isn't very good at it) you can spam Earthquake and Heat Wave at your foes. DON'T EVER USE MEGA CAMERUPT WITHOUT TRICK ROOM SUPPORT! I cannot emphasize this enough. Its 70/100/105 defenses are solid, but you don't want to be taking hits either way, especially if you're running Eruption (which you should). M-Cam will be a neat pogey to use, but play him to his strengths - go play with Mega Blaziken like a 10 year old noob if you want fast sweeping. Overall Rating: 9/10
MEGA ALTARIA FAIRY DRAGON QUEEN. The good news is that Altaria has one of the most unique typings in the game, and solid 75/110/105 defenses, with moves such as Roost and Cotton Guard to back them up. Not quite as good, but still quite good, are her 110/110/80 offenses, which means I was wrong about them making M-Alt a special sweeper. Also good news is M-Alt's Pixilate, which it can put to good use with Hyper Voice, giving it a bit more oomph. The bad news is that M-Alt is too balanced (Kingdra says hello) and that's never a good thing. I would never, ever, ever, EVER use Mega Salamance over Mega Altaria (or any mega Dragon, really) but almost everyone else will, especially since M-Sala now has 130 defense for no goddamn reason, plus Intimidate before mega evolving, and much better offenses. But then again I assume that if you've always liked Altaria (and you like its mega), you prefer to use more interesting mons than the typical powerhouses like Salamence. Overall Rating: 9/10
MEGA DIANCIE I'm all about the mega Fairies, aren't I? Let's be real, mega Grass is still Grass-type, and that's bad, and it will always be bad, and 10 years from now it'll still be bad, unless it's a certain Grass-Poison type that looks like a masked rose. But this is about M-Dian so let's get to that... Okay the truth is that I love her design, but I don't care for her stats. I wanted something more like 180 defenses (from Diancie's 150) not more offensive power. But if you like speedy offense, M-Dian will surprise you: 160/160/110 offenses is no joke, and its Diamond Storm and Moonblast will seriously fucking hurt, especially if Diancie has a +Speed nature with max Speed EVs (which you should). But of course, I won't be using M-Dian at all, just regular Diancie, which I actually like better looks-wise and stats-wise. Base offenses of 100 is more than good enough for me, and its otherwise bad HP of 50 is redeemed by her 150 defenses (which if you sort of balance out comes to something like 100/100/100 defenses). I still like M-Dian, but I prefer her without her mega stone. Overall Rating: 8/10
MEGA LOPUNNY If you really want to put me off a Pokemon that I like, give it an evolution (mega or otherwise) that makes it super-offensive. That really turns me off, because it's not interesting. It works with Emboar somehow, but I suspect his 110 HP (and low speed) has to do with it. But I have to admit that Lopunny deserves these changes, and you'd be stupid to not consider Mega Lopunny on your team. To go from 76 Attack to 136 Attack in one turn is fucking insane, and let's not forget that Lopunny was already fast to begin with (105 speed) but when it goes mega it becomes super-fast (135). I really hope she becomes OU through her mega, and that people take her seriously as a Pokemon (and I suspect they will, since that's the fastest Scrappy user there is). Her defenses are alright, but her low HP offsets them. All that being said, I don't plan to use M-Lop, or even Lopunny at this point (except for contests); it's not for me. I'll always love it and it'll always be one of my fave Sinnoh mons, but this is where we part ways. Overall Rating: 8.5/10
MEGA BEEDRILL Everyone's talking about it. The good news is that Mega Beedrill looks incredible, and I have every intention of trying this thing at least once. Even better news is the fact that Mega Beedrill's attack and speed are as high as the sky, even higher than Mega Salamence's which is insane. The bad news is that Beedrill still has 40 defense, so it'll be Accelgor 2.0, pretty much, and without the ability to hold a Focus Sash, I just don't see how this thing is going to be viable outside of furious Baton Passing of Iron Defense (or Cosmic Power). That being said, I'm sure people will find ways to use M-Bee because believe it or not even competitive battlers are tired of using the same ol' shite. Also, I hope that there's a Mega Butterfree, although I personally would prefer Mega Venomoth or Mega Vespiquen. :D Overall Rating: 7.5/10
But anyway, here's them. I'm not gonna cover all of them today, just the ones I like.
MEGA AUDINO
[vibrates intensely]
GUI IS REACTING TO THE MEGA AUDICKSTONE!
[mega evolves]
CCOOOOOOOOOOOOCKSSSSS!
MEGA GUI USED SPERM MOONBEAM.
all the basic bitches fainted...
I'm just fucking done. I am DONE. Not only is Mega Audino the perfect combination of Sailor Moon and Puella Magi Madoka Magica, it's also the cutest mega by far, and prettier than fake Latina bitch Mega Diancie (for those who don't know it, the carbuncle is from South American legend). Mega Audino also has nothing to envy Mega Diancie, who gave up its awesome 50/150/150 defenses upon mega evolving and turned to offense (boo!) So Mega Diancie has 50/110/110 defenses, which is not remarkable at all given her HP stat. Of course, Mega Diancie has better offenses than Mega Audino (so does Mega Altaria for that matter) but you forget that Mega Audino is meant to support + heal while his partner does all the attacking, and unfortunately Mega Altaria and Mega Diancie just aren't that good at support.
Let me explain Mega Audino in terms simple sissies like y'all can understand:
It has 103/126/126 defenses. That's more balanced than Blissey (who isn't fairy), higher than Clefable and Aromatisse, almost as bulky as Wigglytuff in terms of HP, and much more physically defensive than Florges. None of those, by the way (except Aromatisse) can set up Trick Room, and none of them share M-Audi's type except Wigglytuff who has terribad stats.
Those defensive stats would be meh if M-Audi was still Normal, but because it's Normal-FAIRY, they're a game changer. It gives him 2 neat resistances to Bug and Dark, and 2 awesome immunities to Dragon and Ghost. He's got plenty of moves to heal himself, his partner, and get rid of status, so damage and status doesn't scare him easily.
So what is he lacking? Speed (only 50) and offensive power (60 Attack and 80 Sp. Attack), which is why you absolutely must use M-Audi to support the team while they do the ass-kicking. Mega Audino is everything my darling Emboar wants in a partner, and even Gothitelle appreciates his support (I may breed a more offensive Gothi now).
There's nothing about M-Audi that I don't love. Well, okay, I don't love Healer too much, but I'm not sure what else would be good on it...? Regenerator is fantastic, but it doesn't do anything for M-Audi's partner, and mons such as him work best in 2v2 battles, not singles.
Overall Rating: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 / 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
MEGA CAMERUPT I am really excited about this one. Camerupt's a bro, but it never had anything worth using, especially in Hoenn. It got Solid Rock later on, and better moves (Earth Power!) but it's not until now that it's better. I resent that its mega is not a full-evolution (just like Mawile, just like Sableye, just like Banette) but that aside, this is a neat camel dude-bro. At 20 speed, Mega Camerupt is going to be the fastest thing on the field after [insert Trick Room setter here] activates Trick Room (and of course, you need to run Protect on MC so he can mega evolve safely during the first turn and give the TR-setter time to set up). Speaking of the TR setter, Camerupt's Earthquake is hella powerful, so if your setter has Protect also (or flies/has Levitate? I've seen people with TR on Gengar, even tho Gengar isn't very good at it) you can spam Earthquake and Heat Wave at your foes. DON'T EVER USE MEGA CAMERUPT WITHOUT TRICK ROOM SUPPORT! I cannot emphasize this enough. Its 70/100/105 defenses are solid, but you don't want to be taking hits either way, especially if you're running Eruption (which you should). M-Cam will be a neat pogey to use, but play him to his strengths - go play with Mega Blaziken like a 10 year old noob if you want fast sweeping. Overall Rating: 9/10
MEGA ALTARIA FAIRY DRAGON QUEEN. The good news is that Altaria has one of the most unique typings in the game, and solid 75/110/105 defenses, with moves such as Roost and Cotton Guard to back them up. Not quite as good, but still quite good, are her 110/110/80 offenses, which means I was wrong about them making M-Alt a special sweeper. Also good news is M-Alt's Pixilate, which it can put to good use with Hyper Voice, giving it a bit more oomph. The bad news is that M-Alt is too balanced (Kingdra says hello) and that's never a good thing. I would never, ever, ever, EVER use Mega Salamance over Mega Altaria (or any mega Dragon, really) but almost everyone else will, especially since M-Sala now has 130 defense for no goddamn reason, plus Intimidate before mega evolving, and much better offenses. But then again I assume that if you've always liked Altaria (and you like its mega), you prefer to use more interesting mons than the typical powerhouses like Salamence. Overall Rating: 9/10
MEGA DIANCIE I'm all about the mega Fairies, aren't I? Let's be real, mega Grass is still Grass-type, and that's bad, and it will always be bad, and 10 years from now it'll still be bad, unless it's a certain Grass-Poison type that looks like a masked rose. But this is about M-Dian so let's get to that... Okay the truth is that I love her design, but I don't care for her stats. I wanted something more like 180 defenses (from Diancie's 150) not more offensive power. But if you like speedy offense, M-Dian will surprise you: 160/160/110 offenses is no joke, and its Diamond Storm and Moonblast will seriously fucking hurt, especially if Diancie has a +Speed nature with max Speed EVs (which you should). But of course, I won't be using M-Dian at all, just regular Diancie, which I actually like better looks-wise and stats-wise. Base offenses of 100 is more than good enough for me, and its otherwise bad HP of 50 is redeemed by her 150 defenses (which if you sort of balance out comes to something like 100/100/100 defenses). I still like M-Dian, but I prefer her without her mega stone. Overall Rating: 8/10
MEGA LOPUNNY If you really want to put me off a Pokemon that I like, give it an evolution (mega or otherwise) that makes it super-offensive. That really turns me off, because it's not interesting. It works with Emboar somehow, but I suspect his 110 HP (and low speed) has to do with it. But I have to admit that Lopunny deserves these changes, and you'd be stupid to not consider Mega Lopunny on your team. To go from 76 Attack to 136 Attack in one turn is fucking insane, and let's not forget that Lopunny was already fast to begin with (105 speed) but when it goes mega it becomes super-fast (135). I really hope she becomes OU through her mega, and that people take her seriously as a Pokemon (and I suspect they will, since that's the fastest Scrappy user there is). Her defenses are alright, but her low HP offsets them. All that being said, I don't plan to use M-Lop, or even Lopunny at this point (except for contests); it's not for me. I'll always love it and it'll always be one of my fave Sinnoh mons, but this is where we part ways. Overall Rating: 8.5/10
MEGA BEEDRILL Everyone's talking about it. The good news is that Mega Beedrill looks incredible, and I have every intention of trying this thing at least once. Even better news is the fact that Mega Beedrill's attack and speed are as high as the sky, even higher than Mega Salamence's which is insane. The bad news is that Beedrill still has 40 defense, so it'll be Accelgor 2.0, pretty much, and without the ability to hold a Focus Sash, I just don't see how this thing is going to be viable outside of furious Baton Passing of Iron Defense (or Cosmic Power). That being said, I'm sure people will find ways to use M-Bee because believe it or not even competitive battlers are tired of using the same ol' shite. Also, I hope that there's a Mega Butterfree, although I personally would prefer Mega Venomoth or Mega Vespiquen. :D Overall Rating: 7.5/10