Grass PokéChallenge: Day 1
So dominusaeternus (Dennis) challenged me to make a Grass Pkmn list with how-to movesets etc. since I'm a Grass Pkmn Master and let's face it, every time he tries to come up with a moveset for Grass types he just fails. So if anyone ever feels like using a Grass type in their team, come to this list. I'll leave it public for all to see, lol. I'll do 2-3 Grass types per day (or every other day) and at the end I will compile a list in one big entry. I highly doubt anyone will get much use of this since you've got Smogon for all that, but hey, I like to think that someone actually cares about my opinion on Grass Pokémon. I might also do this for Water types. Look at my life and look at my choices.
AMOONGUSS
If you are in the possession of a vagina (or mangina, for that matter) you know what a yeast infection is. Amoonguss is your yeast infection in Pokéform. Look at it. It has a cunt for a face and a pair of nipples with PokéBall tats on 'em. Why would you use this thing? Well, it's fucking ugly, but it's not totally hopeless. It has decent defenses, ok offenses, and the best HP stat of all Grass types. It also gets Regenerator via Dream World, which is fucking awesome. Oh, wait, Tangrowth does it better. Neverfuckingmind.
Ability:
Regenerator. If you can't get Regenerator don't bother using Amoonguss.
Item:
black sludge, leftovers
Nature:
bold, calm, relaxed, sassy
Moves:
Spore, Clear Smog, Giga Drain, Synthesis/Leech Seed
Amoonguss isn't great competitively but it has uses. Like, you can hide one in your vagina and send it out if you're about to get raped. Spore the rapist, and then Leech Seed them. Then proceed to Clear Smog or Giga Drain. You don't want to use Toxic + Venoshock because Vileplume does that x100 better. And you don't want Sludge Bomb because every other Poison type uses it (and uses it better). Stick to Clear Smog to prevent shit from setting up on you while still hitting enemy Grass types. Synthesis because bitch don't got another way of healing. You could run Gastro Acid but they'll just switch after you Spore/Leech Seed them anyway so what's the point?
Overall:
There's five Grass-Poison Pokémon, and all of them are prettier and tougher than Amoonguss. None have Regenerator, but who cares? Use Amoonguss if you're fond of yeast infections or you're on 'shrooms. Otherwise don't bother.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
ABOMASNOW
I call him by his JP name ("Yukinoou") because it's cooler, it means "snow king" and it doesn't remind me of Obama. Not that I hate Obama but he's brown and black and Yuki here is white and green. We wouldn't want to whitewash the only black prez of the USA, now would we? So Yukinoou it is.
Look at this thing. Doesn't it just make you wanna take your clothes off and have sex with it? Oh, wait, no, that's just me. If I was one of those fucktards who thinks they're a Na'vi (from Avatard) I'd have sexual fantasies about me and Abomasnow praising Eywa, grass-style. Seriously I'd gladly trade my cock for a pistil just to reproduce with Abomasnow. Oh, Eywa, what wouldn't I do to feel those big plant-muscles beneath me as he pollinates my pistil...
In other news, Grass-Ice is epic cool, but like everything -Ice it fucks you royally up the ass with a frozen icicle. I'm not fucking kidding here. A quad Fire weak plus 6 more fucking weaknesses. And it doesn't even get great stats to do shit with. He's balanced, but he's too balanced. If it ever gets an evolution I will drop the soap and just beg it to fist me. But not otherwise. I mean, average defenses, average offenses, mediocre speed. What the fuck, Nintendu? Shoulda had ten points higher in HP and offenses at least, geez.
Ability:
Snow Fucking Warning. Also known as the only reason to use Yuki. Like SandStream it's both a blessing and a curse. It gets Soundproof via Dream World, but I don't see why anybody would run that. I might die of laughter and hysteria if I ever see or hear of anyone with a Soundproof Yukinoou.
Item:
leftovers
Nature:
calm or sassy
Moves:
Blizzard, Leech Seed, Protect, Substitute
As far as I'm concerned this is the only set worth using. Ofc, hipsters use a ChoiceScarf (+4 atks) but frankly I think that's a waste of time. Unique typing and unique ability aside, a lot of shit makes a better scarfer than this snow monster. On the other hand this set isn't just annoying, it's tittyfucking annoying. If you use it right your Yuki will make the foe's Pokemon its bitch, what with Leech Seed + Hail while hiding behind Substitute and/or Protect. You can also run Ice Shard instead of Blizzard and/or Wood Hammer instead of Protect, but I prefer the extra power of Blizzard and the lolstalling of Protect + Substitute. At the risk of stating the obvious, nobody that doesn't have a shitton of patience and a shitton of love for Yukinoou should use this set (or this Pkmn for that matter). I mean, this is stalling. Unless a Dragon comes in on you (lolwat) you're not going to be OHKOing shit, seriously. So keep that in mind before you use this guy.
Overall:
Abomasnow is fucking sexy, and don't you forget it. It has one of my favourite abilities ever along with my third favourite typing (after Grass-Poison and Water-Ground). Unfortunately it also has 7 tittyfucking weaknesses and average-ish stats. The weaknesses wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for that fact that it's weak to Fire + Fighting + Rock, all of which are ubiquitous, seriously. Personally I do recommend him, but only if your team can work with him, which, unfortunately, 9 times out of 10 it won't. :P
AMOONGUSS
If you are in the possession of a vagina (or mangina, for that matter) you know what a yeast infection is. Amoonguss is your yeast infection in Pokéform. Look at it. It has a cunt for a face and a pair of nipples with PokéBall tats on 'em. Why would you use this thing? Well, it's fucking ugly, but it's not totally hopeless. It has decent defenses, ok offenses, and the best HP stat of all Grass types. It also gets Regenerator via Dream World, which is fucking awesome. Oh, wait, Tangrowth does it better. Neverfuckingmind.
Ability:
Regenerator. If you can't get Regenerator don't bother using Amoonguss.
Item:
black sludge, leftovers
Nature:
bold, calm, relaxed, sassy
Moves:
Spore, Clear Smog, Giga Drain, Synthesis/Leech Seed
Amoonguss isn't great competitively but it has uses. Like, you can hide one in your vagina and send it out if you're about to get raped. Spore the rapist, and then Leech Seed them. Then proceed to Clear Smog or Giga Drain. You don't want to use Toxic + Venoshock because Vileplume does that x100 better. And you don't want Sludge Bomb because every other Poison type uses it (and uses it better). Stick to Clear Smog to prevent shit from setting up on you while still hitting enemy Grass types. Synthesis because bitch don't got another way of healing. You could run Gastro Acid but they'll just switch after you Spore/Leech Seed them anyway so what's the point?
Overall:
There's five Grass-Poison Pokémon, and all of them are prettier and tougher than Amoonguss. None have Regenerator, but who cares? Use Amoonguss if you're fond of yeast infections or you're on 'shrooms. Otherwise don't bother.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
ABOMASNOW
I call him by his JP name ("Yukinoou") because it's cooler, it means "snow king" and it doesn't remind me of Obama. Not that I hate Obama but he's brown and black and Yuki here is white and green. We wouldn't want to whitewash the only black prez of the USA, now would we? So Yukinoou it is.
Look at this thing. Doesn't it just make you wanna take your clothes off and have sex with it? Oh, wait, no, that's just me. If I was one of those fucktards who thinks they're a Na'vi (from Avatard) I'd have sexual fantasies about me and Abomasnow praising Eywa, grass-style. Seriously I'd gladly trade my cock for a pistil just to reproduce with Abomasnow. Oh, Eywa, what wouldn't I do to feel those big plant-muscles beneath me as he pollinates my pistil...
In other news, Grass-Ice is epic cool, but like everything -Ice it fucks you royally up the ass with a frozen icicle. I'm not fucking kidding here. A quad Fire weak plus 6 more fucking weaknesses. And it doesn't even get great stats to do shit with. He's balanced, but he's too balanced. If it ever gets an evolution I will drop the soap and just beg it to fist me. But not otherwise. I mean, average defenses, average offenses, mediocre speed. What the fuck, Nintendu? Shoulda had ten points higher in HP and offenses at least, geez.
Ability:
Snow Fucking Warning. Also known as the only reason to use Yuki. Like SandStream it's both a blessing and a curse. It gets Soundproof via Dream World, but I don't see why anybody would run that. I might die of laughter and hysteria if I ever see or hear of anyone with a Soundproof Yukinoou.
Item:
leftovers
Nature:
calm or sassy
Moves:
Blizzard, Leech Seed, Protect, Substitute
As far as I'm concerned this is the only set worth using. Ofc, hipsters use a ChoiceScarf (+4 atks) but frankly I think that's a waste of time. Unique typing and unique ability aside, a lot of shit makes a better scarfer than this snow monster. On the other hand this set isn't just annoying, it's tittyfucking annoying. If you use it right your Yuki will make the foe's Pokemon its bitch, what with Leech Seed + Hail while hiding behind Substitute and/or Protect. You can also run Ice Shard instead of Blizzard and/or Wood Hammer instead of Protect, but I prefer the extra power of Blizzard and the lolstalling of Protect + Substitute. At the risk of stating the obvious, nobody that doesn't have a shitton of patience and a shitton of love for Yukinoou should use this set (or this Pkmn for that matter). I mean, this is stalling. Unless a Dragon comes in on you (lolwat) you're not going to be OHKOing shit, seriously. So keep that in mind before you use this guy.
Overall:
Abomasnow is fucking sexy, and don't you forget it. It has one of my favourite abilities ever along with my third favourite typing (after Grass-Poison and Water-Ground). Unfortunately it also has 7 tittyfucking weaknesses and average-ish stats. The weaknesses wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for that fact that it's weak to Fire + Fighting + Rock, all of which are ubiquitous, seriously. Personally I do recommend him, but only if your team can work with him, which, unfortunately, 9 times out of 10 it won't. :P