trials and tribulations.....
Right now I'm just sick of everything......Michigan, the town I'm in, boredom, not having a car, not having a job.....it's all adding up. I hate it when my "friends" don't even want to see me for lunch or anything and dismiss me like I'm not important enough for them to even bother with. I don't know if I'd call that a friendship. I honestly don't know what I'd call that. I'm not just talking about one person either, but whatever. Maybe I'm just bitter.
Why do I feel like I'm never good enough for anyone? I know that I'm a good person, but I'm feel that I'm not good enough for anyone.....my parents, my grandmom, my friends.....it seems like I'm never gonna be good enough for them. I just wish for once that I could be truly happy, something which I haven't been for a long, long time. I probably haven't been truly happy since high school --- well on a long-term basis, and even then it wasn't for long long periods of time. Maybe months of happiness followed by slow decline..... I may be complaining too much here. Maybe this is a result of years and years of rejection by many, many people, mostly girls. I don't even think that I can count on my hands and feet the number of girls who have rejected me...and the funny thing is that some of these girls are my friends now, haha! Maybe I should just give up on women and become a bachelor for life --- or a priest. Well, then I'd have to become Catholic, so no, LOL! I'm not gonna give up, but I'm so tired of bullshit and drama. I could use a holiday --- a vacation, if you will --- to get away from all of this shit. I'm just fucking tired of everything. Later.
Why do I feel like I'm never good enough for anyone? I know that I'm a good person, but I'm feel that I'm not good enough for anyone.....my parents, my grandmom, my friends.....it seems like I'm never gonna be good enough for them. I just wish for once that I could be truly happy, something which I haven't been for a long, long time. I probably haven't been truly happy since high school --- well on a long-term basis, and even then it wasn't for long long periods of time. Maybe months of happiness followed by slow decline..... I may be complaining too much here. Maybe this is a result of years and years of rejection by many, many people, mostly girls. I don't even think that I can count on my hands and feet the number of girls who have rejected me...and the funny thing is that some of these girls are my friends now, haha! Maybe I should just give up on women and become a bachelor for life --- or a priest. Well, then I'd have to become Catholic, so no, LOL! I'm not gonna give up, but I'm so tired of bullshit and drama. I could use a holiday --- a vacation, if you will --- to get away from all of this shit. I'm just fucking tired of everything. Later.