(no subject)
1.This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
Probably
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Trujillo
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
not even close
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
About half an hour ago with Evan- he's a cop on a team that specializes in narcotics/gang activities. We were discussing Chicago sports
5. Have you talked to a complete jerk today?
I don't think so...
6. Listening to music?
96.3 in hopes of winning concert tickets for this weekend
7. What are you excited for?
My upcoming lunch date
8. What were you doing yesterday?
I did some of my never ending to do list and worked in the morning, then had a work-meeting in the late afternoon. Then I came home and vegitated and watched some of the DVD of season two of "24"
9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
I can't remember... it's been so so so freeking long. I'm not sure anyone actually loves me right now, but for once I'm actually ok with it.
10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
a Mango iccee (damn it was good)
11.Do you have a best friend?
She's dead.
12. Are you scared to fall in love?
Scared, no. Highly skeptical, hell yes.
14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
My old boss Peter Verros. God knows he would have deserved it, but I'm just not up for assault charges. ::sigh::
15.What time is it right this second?
5:40pm CST
16. What do you want right now?
Go for a long, long drive and not worry about when I have to come back
17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
a picture? Maybe at my cousin Justin's wedding last summer (July 08)
18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
Mostly single
19. When was the last time you cried?
Uuuuuum... wow I don't know. a while
20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
I don't know... they'd say we have a good relationship, I don't think it's as good as it once was. I don't think they like me very much, but that bothers me less than it used to. What does bother me is that they seem incapable of trusting me at all... ever. It gets exhausting.
21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Hard or impossible- take your pick. I don't think I'm missing out on much though. I just find that most people don't really give a damn about others. Maybe superficially, but when it comes down to it it's survival of the fittest, and it's much safer to trust nobody but yourself.
22. How fast does your mind change?
Infrequently
23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
No... I'm glad Sandy will be back in the states soon, and I kind of wish Evan would text me back, though he's probably working and I'm sure I'll talk to him later. If anything the question is backwards- I really just want some time to myself right now.
24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
No- I've been fighting back an anxiety attack for about 3 or 4 weeks now. I guess I'm ok in a more superficial way though.
25 Why do you think so many people cheat?
Because no one is trustworthy anymore.
26. Tell me what's on your mind?
Trying to figure out what to do about my bank and how I'm ever going to fix it... identity theft's a bitch.
27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
New tattoo! Maybe i'll even have it done at the tattoo expo that's coming up...
28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Yeah, but it's not such a big deal for girls to wear guy clothes
29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
?
30. When is your next road trip?
I haven't taken a road trip in forever... I think that next winter I'm going to see if I can plan some sort of ski trip. Maybe hit the UP or something.
31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
I don't have anyone I can tell everything to, no matter which gender. Sandy's the closest I can come to fitting that bill, but I find that most people have some sort of expectation as to who they think you should be.
32. How's your heart?
As far as I know it's doing alright.
33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Most days
34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
Nope. The kids seem to love me in their own way- three cheers for Billy, Eden, Taily, and Buddha. Fishie and the aquarium fish are pretty spiffy too, but I don't think the fish even know who I am.
35. What are you planning on doing after this?
Finish this survey, go out for a run (hopefully before it rains) and then I'll probably clean some lizard tanks, and read. Work cut me at the last minute because I have too much overtime, so I just wasn't prepared to kill an entire evening.
36. Next time you will kiss someone?
Hopefully a week from today, depending how things go. But I'm not really looking for anyone
37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
No
38. Who do you not get along with?
Parents mostly. or asshole customers who treat me like crap, or con-artists
39. What does your third text on your phone say?
third recieved "how was track?" from Evan, third sent "I've never been too good at sports. I ran cross country in school and one season on track. I do bowl but not with a league" to Evan.
40. What are you wearing right now?
Black T-Shirt with a yellow buddha on it that says "rub my belly for good luck", black panties and a purple bra. Haven't gotten around to finding pants yet, but I probably will.
41. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
What kind of question is that? What is this question even asking?
42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
Maybe a couple months ago...
43. What's your fave boy and girl name right now?
Tristan and Charlotte
44. How did you feel when you woke up?
Panic- I just got this new phone and haven't mastered setting the alarms yet, so this morning the alarm didn't wake me up at 9.00 like it was supposed to, instead I woke up on my own around noon. I'm not as lazy as that sounds, noon isn't really sleeping too late when you don't get off work until 2am (then add 45 minutes of driving to get home, time for a shower, food, feeding and playing with the kids (read: lizards) and usually a little unwinding before I can get calmed down enough to actually sleep)
45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
i'd take a text, but I could generally do without phone calls. there's only one person who's call i'd welcome right now, i would say 2, but it's 12.30 or 1.30 in paris right now, so i don't anticipate hearing from sandy. oh, but sandy- if you read this and you have a chance can you call me before 4.30pm cst on tuesday? i really need to get your opinion on something
46. Do you crack your knuckles?
I try not to do it as much now. i have trigger finger and cracking them either feels so so so good, or hurts like all hell.
47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?'
talking to my dearest buddies in the chicago police :)
48. What are your LEGAL initials?
LAFP
49. Whos the first B in your contacts?
Beth- 727278-1790. It was the name I put crystal under in my phone book so my parents wouldn't ask too many questions (they didn't want me talking to crystal). I haven't been able to get myself to delete it since she died. I probably never will.
50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Probably when Armando picked Janine up and dead-lifted her to dump her in the dumpster in back of old work. That was, like, pee-your-pants kind of funny.
51. If your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
hell yes
52. Last awkward moment?
Um, maybe at work yesterday when I got suckered into demonstrating the proper way to present wine in front of like 30 coworkers and almost all of the managers. I didn't realize they were looking for volunteers, I thought it was just a "raise your hand if you know how to do this" and then somehow I was the only one with my hand up.
53. Are you afraid of the dark?
I love and prefer the dark
54. Do you have good vision?
Not great, not bad. I was told I look better without glasses, so I've been trying to do without and it's do-able for the most part, but driving at night is still a bitch.
55. Have you ever tripped someone?
Probably
56. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yup
57. Are you Irish?
Some
58. Do you use chap stick?
Yes, but not that brand
59. Do you have any scars?
Yes, i have plenty of scars, and I love them all!
60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
i don't think so... i don't have the kind of energy it takes to hold a serious grudge
62. Name the last person to text you?
Evan (sorry, I'm not in text/phone contact with all that many people)
63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
yeah, why not?
64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
right this second? probably not, most places prefer people to wear pants.
66. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
the left side if you're looking up at the bed from the foot.
67. Whats the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
try and figure out what the hell has happened to lead to ME getting married...
68. Do you fall for people easily?
Not usually
69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
doubtfully
70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
sometimes... it depends what things you mean. I'd give anything to go back to last July to keep Crystal from dying. anything. her death has fucked me up worse than any of the many, many, MANY other stupid things that i've done. I can deal with all of it except for having to watch my best friend die on the floor of my apartment. I wake up from nightmares about it, I wake up thinking I can hear the noise she was making as she was dying. I wake up thnking I can smell the stench that was in the apartment when she died- of the vomit that was covering her face and that soaked into the carpet and stained it so badly professionals had to come to get the mark out. I miss my best friend and soul mate calling me and telling me how well things were going, or how shitty life was. I miss seeing her for the first time in months and getting that big hug that just about squeezed the life out of you, and the smell of her hair, the feel of her kissing hello or goodbye, knowing she was the only person who loved me, and who always remembered to tell me that she loved me. I miss being suprised at the color or length of her hair every time i saw her. i miss the anticipation of her coming to visit me, and how damn special i felt knowing she was flying up from florida just to see me, and knowing i was someone special to her. there is so much that i miss, i could drowned in it.
71. Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
yes, and a couple times i believed them.
72. Song You're thinking of right now?
'where is my mind' by the pixies
74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
i hope so
75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
black with yellow writing and picture
76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
yep
77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
sort of, but i sort of have come to expect it of people. i guess it disappoints me more than anything
78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
i doubt it. i'm not sure if i understand it myself. maybe sandy can explain it to me sometime soon
79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
i'm naturally a pessimist and an introvert. i wouldn't change it for anything.
80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
actually, yes. as much as i've sworn off relationships and decided not to look for one, there is exactly ONE person for whom i would go back on it all.
Probably
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Trujillo
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
not even close
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
About half an hour ago with Evan- he's a cop on a team that specializes in narcotics/gang activities. We were discussing Chicago sports
5. Have you talked to a complete jerk today?
I don't think so...
6. Listening to music?
96.3 in hopes of winning concert tickets for this weekend
7. What are you excited for?
My upcoming lunch date
8. What were you doing yesterday?
I did some of my never ending to do list and worked in the morning, then had a work-meeting in the late afternoon. Then I came home and vegitated and watched some of the DVD of season two of "24"
9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
I can't remember... it's been so so so freeking long. I'm not sure anyone actually loves me right now, but for once I'm actually ok with it.
10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
a Mango iccee (damn it was good)
11.Do you have a best friend?
She's dead.
12. Are you scared to fall in love?
Scared, no. Highly skeptical, hell yes.
14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
My old boss Peter Verros. God knows he would have deserved it, but I'm just not up for assault charges. ::sigh::
15.What time is it right this second?
5:40pm CST
16. What do you want right now?
Go for a long, long drive and not worry about when I have to come back
17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
a picture? Maybe at my cousin Justin's wedding last summer (July 08)
18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
Mostly single
19. When was the last time you cried?
Uuuuuum... wow I don't know. a while
20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
I don't know... they'd say we have a good relationship, I don't think it's as good as it once was. I don't think they like me very much, but that bothers me less than it used to. What does bother me is that they seem incapable of trusting me at all... ever. It gets exhausting.
21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Hard or impossible- take your pick. I don't think I'm missing out on much though. I just find that most people don't really give a damn about others. Maybe superficially, but when it comes down to it it's survival of the fittest, and it's much safer to trust nobody but yourself.
22. How fast does your mind change?
Infrequently
23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
No... I'm glad Sandy will be back in the states soon, and I kind of wish Evan would text me back, though he's probably working and I'm sure I'll talk to him later. If anything the question is backwards- I really just want some time to myself right now.
24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
No- I've been fighting back an anxiety attack for about 3 or 4 weeks now. I guess I'm ok in a more superficial way though.
25 Why do you think so many people cheat?
Because no one is trustworthy anymore.
26. Tell me what's on your mind?
Trying to figure out what to do about my bank and how I'm ever going to fix it... identity theft's a bitch.
27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
New tattoo! Maybe i'll even have it done at the tattoo expo that's coming up...
28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Yeah, but it's not such a big deal for girls to wear guy clothes
29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
?
30. When is your next road trip?
I haven't taken a road trip in forever... I think that next winter I'm going to see if I can plan some sort of ski trip. Maybe hit the UP or something.
31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
I don't have anyone I can tell everything to, no matter which gender. Sandy's the closest I can come to fitting that bill, but I find that most people have some sort of expectation as to who they think you should be.
32. How's your heart?
As far as I know it's doing alright.
33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Most days
34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
Nope. The kids seem to love me in their own way- three cheers for Billy, Eden, Taily, and Buddha. Fishie and the aquarium fish are pretty spiffy too, but I don't think the fish even know who I am.
35. What are you planning on doing after this?
Finish this survey, go out for a run (hopefully before it rains) and then I'll probably clean some lizard tanks, and read. Work cut me at the last minute because I have too much overtime, so I just wasn't prepared to kill an entire evening.
36. Next time you will kiss someone?
Hopefully a week from today, depending how things go. But I'm not really looking for anyone
37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
No
38. Who do you not get along with?
Parents mostly. or asshole customers who treat me like crap, or con-artists
39. What does your third text on your phone say?
third recieved "how was track?" from Evan, third sent "I've never been too good at sports. I ran cross country in school and one season on track. I do bowl but not with a league" to Evan.
40. What are you wearing right now?
Black T-Shirt with a yellow buddha on it that says "rub my belly for good luck", black panties and a purple bra. Haven't gotten around to finding pants yet, but I probably will.
41. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
What kind of question is that? What is this question even asking?
42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
Maybe a couple months ago...
43. What's your fave boy and girl name right now?
Tristan and Charlotte
44. How did you feel when you woke up?
Panic- I just got this new phone and haven't mastered setting the alarms yet, so this morning the alarm didn't wake me up at 9.00 like it was supposed to, instead I woke up on my own around noon. I'm not as lazy as that sounds, noon isn't really sleeping too late when you don't get off work until 2am (then add 45 minutes of driving to get home, time for a shower, food, feeding and playing with the kids (read: lizards) and usually a little unwinding before I can get calmed down enough to actually sleep)
45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
i'd take a text, but I could generally do without phone calls. there's only one person who's call i'd welcome right now, i would say 2, but it's 12.30 or 1.30 in paris right now, so i don't anticipate hearing from sandy. oh, but sandy- if you read this and you have a chance can you call me before 4.30pm cst on tuesday? i really need to get your opinion on something
46. Do you crack your knuckles?
I try not to do it as much now. i have trigger finger and cracking them either feels so so so good, or hurts like all hell.
47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?'
talking to my dearest buddies in the chicago police :)
48. What are your LEGAL initials?
LAFP
49. Whos the first B in your contacts?
Beth- 727278-1790. It was the name I put crystal under in my phone book so my parents wouldn't ask too many questions (they didn't want me talking to crystal). I haven't been able to get myself to delete it since she died. I probably never will.
50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Probably when Armando picked Janine up and dead-lifted her to dump her in the dumpster in back of old work. That was, like, pee-your-pants kind of funny.
51. If your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
hell yes
52. Last awkward moment?
Um, maybe at work yesterday when I got suckered into demonstrating the proper way to present wine in front of like 30 coworkers and almost all of the managers. I didn't realize they were looking for volunteers, I thought it was just a "raise your hand if you know how to do this" and then somehow I was the only one with my hand up.
53. Are you afraid of the dark?
I love and prefer the dark
54. Do you have good vision?
Not great, not bad. I was told I look better without glasses, so I've been trying to do without and it's do-able for the most part, but driving at night is still a bitch.
55. Have you ever tripped someone?
Probably
56. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yup
57. Are you Irish?
Some
58. Do you use chap stick?
Yes, but not that brand
59. Do you have any scars?
Yes, i have plenty of scars, and I love them all!
60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
i don't think so... i don't have the kind of energy it takes to hold a serious grudge
62. Name the last person to text you?
Evan (sorry, I'm not in text/phone contact with all that many people)
63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
yeah, why not?
64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
right this second? probably not, most places prefer people to wear pants.
66. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
the left side if you're looking up at the bed from the foot.
67. Whats the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
try and figure out what the hell has happened to lead to ME getting married...
68. Do you fall for people easily?
Not usually
69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
doubtfully
70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
sometimes... it depends what things you mean. I'd give anything to go back to last July to keep Crystal from dying. anything. her death has fucked me up worse than any of the many, many, MANY other stupid things that i've done. I can deal with all of it except for having to watch my best friend die on the floor of my apartment. I wake up from nightmares about it, I wake up thinking I can hear the noise she was making as she was dying. I wake up thnking I can smell the stench that was in the apartment when she died- of the vomit that was covering her face and that soaked into the carpet and stained it so badly professionals had to come to get the mark out. I miss my best friend and soul mate calling me and telling me how well things were going, or how shitty life was. I miss seeing her for the first time in months and getting that big hug that just about squeezed the life out of you, and the smell of her hair, the feel of her kissing hello or goodbye, knowing she was the only person who loved me, and who always remembered to tell me that she loved me. I miss being suprised at the color or length of her hair every time i saw her. i miss the anticipation of her coming to visit me, and how damn special i felt knowing she was flying up from florida just to see me, and knowing i was someone special to her. there is so much that i miss, i could drowned in it.
71. Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
yes, and a couple times i believed them.
72. Song You're thinking of right now?
'where is my mind' by the pixies
74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
i hope so
75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
black with yellow writing and picture
76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
yep
77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
sort of, but i sort of have come to expect it of people. i guess it disappoints me more than anything
78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
i doubt it. i'm not sure if i understand it myself. maybe sandy can explain it to me sometime soon
79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
i'm naturally a pessimist and an introvert. i wouldn't change it for anything.
80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
actually, yes. as much as i've sworn off relationships and decided not to look for one, there is exactly ONE person for whom i would go back on it all.