Lynndie England...
So I have been reading a lot recently- I'm working my way through a couple of books, but since my free-time has been so choppy recently, I've also been working my way through a lot of magazines. I ran into an interview with Lynndie England (she was one of the soldiers involved with the abuse of prisoners at Abu Ghraib- if you remember, the pic of the soldier pointing at naked prisoners and giving a thumbs up, her holding a leash tied to a mentally ill prisoner who was laying naked on the ground, and her giving a thumbs up from behind a naked human pyramid of prisoners) and the interview really made me think. I hadn't known anything about the situation beyond having seen the pictures and heard the discussion about how awful this situation was. But after talking to David and enough other people who have spent time in Iraq, I wonder how unique the Abu Ghraib situation was. Looking at this, and then at things like Hadditha and all the other "unique incidents" where America turns out to be terrorists in our own right, it seems like the really unusual part is the fact that there was any attention brought to these cases. I hate this war, and I hate George W. I'm annoyed with people who insist that we're fighting the good fight for some just cause, because as hard as I've looked, I can't find anything to convince me that there is more than a tiny shred of real purpose in the US's involvement. And it makes me sad. I don't want to go on and on and sound preachy, but everything I've read about Lynndie England has just made me so so so sad.
Recently I've had more than enough time to reflect on how making one stupid decision, or overlooking a single lapse in judgement can ruin your life. Or can really threaten to ruin it, and in the best scenario will just throw everything into nasty ulcer-inducing chaos. One event can leave you sitting and going 'oh my God what the hell happened? when did my life get to THIS point? with this much shit?' and really trying to figure out what makes someone a good person or a bad person. But after a lot of thought, I don't think there is much that can define someone as good or bad. I'm leaning towards just thinking that almost everyone is just neutral. And for some reasons, certain events can eclipse everything else that has happened in your life. So with Lynndie England, I just feel sad. Everything I've heard made her sound like she was a totally decent person- she was on the honor roll, joined the army to pay for school, and she worked in a chicken processing plant where she quit because she didn't think that the managers were following the guidelines set for quality control. So how does someone who quits a job because she believes something is against good ethics wind up becoming a symbol for the cruelty and arrogance of US soldiers in Iraq? She made a bad call, had a lapse in judgement (and in part, she fell for the wrong guy who pointed her in the wrong direction). So one bad call and poof- there goes her life. I found this website that really hit the nail on the head. http://badgas.co.uk/lynndie/ "Doing a Lynndie".... God, how does someone recover from this? To have your biggest mistake blown up and broadcast across the world, and then to have it become a JOKE- to be mocked and ridiculed by people around the world... I can't even imagine. In some levels it puts things in my life in a little perspective. But it's all relative... it's all based on circumstances. And it can happen so fast... that's what really disturbs me. You can wake up one morning, and by the end of the day you can have pushed over the first domino in a very, very long chain that will leave you standing there as your life falls apart in front of you, and all you can do is watch... god.
Sorry, I've been thinking too much recently as it is. Overall I've been really overtired. I got a good night of sleep (FINALLY) last night, but that doesn't outweigh the last few weeks of building exhaustion. I'm stressed, and something about reading these articles hit a nerve. I can see how it would be very comfortable to hide under the bed and hibernate for the next ten or so years and hope that when I come out everything will have changed, and things will have righted themselves. But that's not going to happen. So until then, I just have to figure out how to keep getting up in the mornings, keep going to work, and keep hoping and planning on a future that will be a little less dreary than today. But maybe it happens to everyone. Maybe the world is actually out to get us... it's one big piranah waiting for people to stick in a toe to text the water.
Poor Lynndie. Poor me. poor everyone.
:( sigh.
the scary thought though, is people will keep destroying their lives all around the world- one single mistake at a time.
Recently I've had more than enough time to reflect on how making one stupid decision, or overlooking a single lapse in judgement can ruin your life. Or can really threaten to ruin it, and in the best scenario will just throw everything into nasty ulcer-inducing chaos. One event can leave you sitting and going 'oh my God what the hell happened? when did my life get to THIS point? with this much shit?' and really trying to figure out what makes someone a good person or a bad person. But after a lot of thought, I don't think there is much that can define someone as good or bad. I'm leaning towards just thinking that almost everyone is just neutral. And for some reasons, certain events can eclipse everything else that has happened in your life. So with Lynndie England, I just feel sad. Everything I've heard made her sound like she was a totally decent person- she was on the honor roll, joined the army to pay for school, and she worked in a chicken processing plant where she quit because she didn't think that the managers were following the guidelines set for quality control. So how does someone who quits a job because she believes something is against good ethics wind up becoming a symbol for the cruelty and arrogance of US soldiers in Iraq? She made a bad call, had a lapse in judgement (and in part, she fell for the wrong guy who pointed her in the wrong direction). So one bad call and poof- there goes her life. I found this website that really hit the nail on the head. http://badgas.co.uk/lynndie/ "Doing a Lynndie".... God, how does someone recover from this? To have your biggest mistake blown up and broadcast across the world, and then to have it become a JOKE- to be mocked and ridiculed by people around the world... I can't even imagine. In some levels it puts things in my life in a little perspective. But it's all relative... it's all based on circumstances. And it can happen so fast... that's what really disturbs me. You can wake up one morning, and by the end of the day you can have pushed over the first domino in a very, very long chain that will leave you standing there as your life falls apart in front of you, and all you can do is watch... god.
Sorry, I've been thinking too much recently as it is. Overall I've been really overtired. I got a good night of sleep (FINALLY) last night, but that doesn't outweigh the last few weeks of building exhaustion. I'm stressed, and something about reading these articles hit a nerve. I can see how it would be very comfortable to hide under the bed and hibernate for the next ten or so years and hope that when I come out everything will have changed, and things will have righted themselves. But that's not going to happen. So until then, I just have to figure out how to keep getting up in the mornings, keep going to work, and keep hoping and planning on a future that will be a little less dreary than today. But maybe it happens to everyone. Maybe the world is actually out to get us... it's one big piranah waiting for people to stick in a toe to text the water.
Poor Lynndie. Poor me. poor everyone.
:( sigh.
the scary thought though, is people will keep destroying their lives all around the world- one single mistake at a time.