You mean too much to me
Once again I feel like I'm loosing a major part of my life. A similar feeling I've felt all year. I've watched him go back and forth between other girls and I always wondered why. At one point we were best friends... and we have just been friends for a long time. I don't want to end that now. I've also always thought of him as more of a friend. But now I'm confused because of other feelings I also have and I don't know what I want right now. I guess whats really bugging me right now is the way our conversation ended earlier... "have a nice life... see ya." I guess pretty much it's over... just like that. I thought he understood that I didn't want a relationship right now and that we were just going to be friends for a little while. I know I have made so many mistakes lately and I've done so many things that I've regretted big time. And I know what I continue to do isn't making anything any better. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I hate the situation that I'm in right now. I'm sick of hurting people and I'm sick of hurting myself. I feel like I keep repeating myself everytime I talk about this... pretty much because I am. I don't know what else to do or say. I know that this journal entry probably won't do anything because the person probably wont even read it. You know how I feel. I don't want to loose you. You have been a huge part of my life for such a long time.... it's crazy to think of my life without you in it. Even if things dont work out now... theres always later on in life. Everything happens for a reason... and you never know what may happen in the future.