(no subject)
Boys are mean... that's all i have to say. I suck at my job.... im confused..... im torn between 2 guys. All these mixed into one result in my anger and frustration. all night ive just wanted to cry and let it out... and i have but the feeling keeps coming back. I don't know what to do, i know no one can help me. About my job... im starting to think maybe teaching just isnt my thing... i dunno. i have no choice about this week... so im gonna just have to deal. i didnt think it would be hard... and it isnt, until i get up there and everyone is relying on me. i lack self confidence... majorly. i notice a big difference when i have confidence in myself and when i dont. maybe this will work out... im hoping. i hate playing your games. either you like me or you don't. If you don't, I'm perfectly fine with that. I will live. Then leave me alone... don't act like you do. Just being friends is fine with me... im happy with that. But if you do like me... im ok with that too. I thought everything would be so much easier. but i guess after likeing someone for so long, its hard to get over them. All the memories and everything. It's just hard to let go of. You were a big part of my life whether or not you wanted to be or not. I'm sorry for the way i acted on the phone... yea i know you were just trying to help me. I'm sorry I didn't believe you... if you weren't messing with me. We are best friends... I'm going to always love you no matter what. I had a hard time telling anyone about this on the phone... i could barely talk to explain chemistry to my cousin. meg... im sorry too. i know i said i would explain it... i tried... it failed.... but my mind was in about 30 different places at once. at one point when i was on the phone, i couldnt talk because everytime i opened my mouth, the tears were just rolling down my cheek... and i just couldnt do it..... my emotions are so messed up, im scared, im really upset... i never seem to be happy anymore. At this point... you can think im the biggest baby ever for all i care. I just had to get it out somehow... the main part of this is about someone... i just didnt know how else to get it out.