(no subject)
this weekend was really really good. and i needed it.
after a talk i had with derek i did a little juggling of things kept in the gray matter, and finally pushed out a silly hope i'd had rattling around in there since november. i realized it was probably making someone, i very much like, uncomfortable, and now i'm hoping we'll achieve the ease that a normal friendship has. because for some reason i have this strong feeling that it's very important that i have them in my life, and i don't think those feelings, or people come along every day.
occasionally, a decent date can make me feel a million times better about myself. it's nice to be asked questions by someone who is genuinely interested. someone who laughs at your life stories in the appropriate places, and tells you how amazing you are for overcoming the obstacles you've faced where it's exactly what you needed to hear. someone you can feel isn't just listening out of politeness and giving what they deem to be the suitable responses, but hangs on every single word and isn't biding their time until it's their turn to speak. i've always been a listener, and i truely love hearing about what people are thinking/feeling/doing. but just like everyone else, i still have in me that intense desire to talk about myself to someone who is interested in listening. i just have a harder time than most finding those people, or maybe i just care a little more that i have their full undivided attention. see, i have a bad habit of pushing the subject from me, to whomever i'm talking to. it's safer and i usually end up learning a lot, but i never come out of it feeling like anyone really knows me. thankfully this weekend i wasn't allowed to stay in my customary comfort zone, and i'm really glad for that. i needed someone to push me out of it, even for just an hour.
my friend mckinley in independence agreed to work on music with me, and actually seems pretty jazzed about it, so i'll be going over there some time this week. i'm curious about what his input will be on what i want to do, and where his influence might lead things...hopefully in a really interesting direction considering he likes a lot of experimental music. and i'm not talking about a little feedback a la sonic youth, but more like can and faust. if nothing else it will be fun!
today i really need to clean my house and mail out some things i didn't last week. oh and sew...more...ugh. really, if my sewing machine weren't so heavy it would have met my wall days ago.
and just because cat pictures are cute..
...he obviously didn't like my music selection this morning
after a talk i had with derek i did a little juggling of things kept in the gray matter, and finally pushed out a silly hope i'd had rattling around in there since november. i realized it was probably making someone, i very much like, uncomfortable, and now i'm hoping we'll achieve the ease that a normal friendship has. because for some reason i have this strong feeling that it's very important that i have them in my life, and i don't think those feelings, or people come along every day.
occasionally, a decent date can make me feel a million times better about myself. it's nice to be asked questions by someone who is genuinely interested. someone who laughs at your life stories in the appropriate places, and tells you how amazing you are for overcoming the obstacles you've faced where it's exactly what you needed to hear. someone you can feel isn't just listening out of politeness and giving what they deem to be the suitable responses, but hangs on every single word and isn't biding their time until it's their turn to speak. i've always been a listener, and i truely love hearing about what people are thinking/feeling/doing. but just like everyone else, i still have in me that intense desire to talk about myself to someone who is interested in listening. i just have a harder time than most finding those people, or maybe i just care a little more that i have their full undivided attention. see, i have a bad habit of pushing the subject from me, to whomever i'm talking to. it's safer and i usually end up learning a lot, but i never come out of it feeling like anyone really knows me. thankfully this weekend i wasn't allowed to stay in my customary comfort zone, and i'm really glad for that. i needed someone to push me out of it, even for just an hour.
my friend mckinley in independence agreed to work on music with me, and actually seems pretty jazzed about it, so i'll be going over there some time this week. i'm curious about what his input will be on what i want to do, and where his influence might lead things...hopefully in a really interesting direction considering he likes a lot of experimental music. and i'm not talking about a little feedback a la sonic youth, but more like can and faust. if nothing else it will be fun!
today i really need to clean my house and mail out some things i didn't last week. oh and sew...more...ugh. really, if my sewing machine weren't so heavy it would have met my wall days ago.
and just because cat pictures are cute..
...he obviously didn't like my music selection this morning