Happy Blasphemy Day!
Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
Islam: If shit happens, blame the infidels.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens Rama Lama Ding Dong.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Christianity: The belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Christianity: The belief that a 2,000-year old Jewish zombie will get angry if you masturbate.
It is estimated that over 40 million abortions take place each year. Wouldn't it be a kick in the teeth for Christianity if one of them was the second coming of Christ? Or a kick in the teeth for Judaism if one of them was Moshiach?
What's the difference between Scientology and Christianity? 2000 Years.
Christianity: The best Jewish money-making scheme to date.
God wants you to love him, but if you do not love him, then you will go to hell, so said my Sunday school teacher. So Christianity is basically God's way of rape and human enslavement, right?
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
Islam: If shit happens, blame the infidels.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens Rama Lama Ding Dong.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Christianity: The belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Christianity: The belief that a 2,000-year old Jewish zombie will get angry if you masturbate.
It is estimated that over 40 million abortions take place each year. Wouldn't it be a kick in the teeth for Christianity if one of them was the second coming of Christ? Or a kick in the teeth for Judaism if one of them was Moshiach?
What's the difference between Scientology and Christianity? 2000 Years.
Christianity: The best Jewish money-making scheme to date.
God wants you to love him, but if you do not love him, then you will go to hell, so said my Sunday school teacher. So Christianity is basically God's way of rape and human enslavement, right?