Public Update - June 9th/2007
I figured that it was maybe time for a public update? Although I am not too sure who is going to be reading this, that already does not have access to my private entries.
Anyways.
I'm at the tail end of my Grade 10 year. Next week is the last week of school. I am only going to be passing 1/4 of my classes - Math 10 Essentials. I'm going to be failing English 10, PE 10, and Science 10. Everything else required in Grade 10 has been successfully completeted.
I've already dropped Science and PE awhile back, because there was no hope. I only have two classes a day - blocks A and C.
This semester has been a very tough one, much un-like my last semester where I did succeed.
For the last five months I have been struggling with another bout of depression, as well as anxiety. It has halted me from succeeding in many ways.
The last time I used Cocaine was February of 2007. That happened to be a slight relapse. Before February, I hadn't used since July/August of 2006.
The last time I engaged in any kind of self harm, or mutilation was January of 2006. That's one I can say I am extremely proud of myself for beating. At one point in my life, I felt like self harm was something I was going to live with for the rest of my life. Fortunately, I was very wrong.
The last time I used marijuana was May 27th of 2007. Unfortunately, this is something I still struggle with from time to time. Note, my marijuana use has been very much all over the place in the last year, or so. Some weeks I've spent smoking everyday. Other weeks I have gone without any at all.
The last time I was drunk was sometime between April and May of 2007. I find that if I am drinking, then I am not smoking pot, vice versa.
I smoked my last cigarette on May 15th of 2007. This time I have quit for good. I have consciously made the decision that I do not want to be a smoker anymore. Cancer runs heavily in my family, and I have lost relatives because of it. I do not want to put myself at risk. As a bonus point, I get a minimum of $200 at the time of graduation, if I have continued to quit smoking. What a motivator, I must say!
I currently am not living at my house, you could say. I have been staying at my friend, Taylor B's place for a couple of weeks.
Both my parents' physical and mental health issues have become too much to cope with right now, so I made the decision to put myself in a healthier environment. I am not sure how permanent this is going to be, but my psychiatrist, psychologist, among others would all like to see myself out of my house for the summer. And I too know that it's what I need, or else I am going to be just be repeating Summer of 2006 and the hell that was.
Next year, for Grade 11, it looks like I am going to be enrolled in Sigma. Another decision I have made for myself. I do not know if this is going to be permanent for all of Grades 11 and 12, or not. It may possibly be a way for me to simply catch up with my courses, and then I may return back to NWSS. This is something I am going to have to find out when I get there.
I still have a part-time job at McDonald's. It's of course not my dream job, but it's serving its purposes for now. I'm starting to look into something else for the summer. Possibly Ikea, although I am not sure.
I regularly see my Mental Health Therapist once a week, and I see my psychiatrist usually once per month. I'm also for the most part, seeing my youth worker regularly. On top of that, I see my Outreach Worker, Drug/Alcohol Worker, and Counselor daily at school.
I'm currently taking a total of five medications.
Them being -
Respiradone, Prozac, Trazadone, Seroquel, and Levothyroxine.
These of which I take daily, and have made a commitment to do so.
Basically, that is all that is going on in my life. Don't be expecting too many more public posts. :D