Reaper Recap - 201 A New Hope, Airdate 3/3/09
A/N: Thanks to kathyk. I'd thank catko, but considering she got me into this mess in the first place, I'm not speaking to her. That goes for you too, shadowmagist. Pfft. Also, props to my homies at ReaperDMV.
Long ass recap ahead:
Previously, on Reaper: Sam thought the Devil was carjacking him. Turns out, he's not. Sam's parent's sold his soul to the Devil before he was born. Now our hero gets to spend the rest of his life finding escaped souls using a variety of, uh, unusual vessels, and enduring endless lines at the DMV where the demon Gladys gets to mock him whenever he turns in his catches. I think Sam would have preferred to have been carjacked.
We start off at an old gas-station-slash-convenience-store that's pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Your guess as to where this place is located is as good as mine. Arizona? Montana? Mexico? Wherever it is, it's pretty dusty. Sock and Ben are standing outside next to Sam's Prius. Ben is reading a letter while Sock fiddles with a camera. "Dear Andi..." Uh oh. "You may be wondering why I'm writing you this letter instead of calling you." I'm guessing she's not, since the letter's in Ben's hands and not Andi's. In a nutshell, Sam doesn't want Andi to convince him to come back yet, since he's still dealing with having his soul sold out from under him, his bounty-hunting responsibilities, and the little matter of his dad being buried alive right before his eyes. Honestly, when put like that, I can see why the boy would want a break.
Ben continues to read, "...whenever I hit a rough patch I think of you and..." But we never quite find out what Sam does (I'm sure it's awwwwwwwing though), because at that moment the author himself comes out of the store, hears Ben reading the letter, and flips out. "What the hell are you reading?" Sam then immediately rounds on Sock. "You were supposed to mail that!" Apparently back when they were in Tahoe. Sock is all, oh dude, I totally forgot. Which isn't surprising, considering Sock also forgot his name in Tahoe. We should all now call him Joe.
Sam gets all upset as he realizes Andi has had no word from him in a month, and he was only supposed to be gone two weeks. Sock easily solves this by saying they can hop in the car, drive 90mph, and be home in two days. Sock, being the Devil-lite he is, does try to tempt Sam off the good boy track by waving the car keys and singing, "Unless we go to Sea World!" Sam ignores him, grabs the keys, and they all jump into the car - accidentally leaving Sam's letter to Andi in the dust.
Credits.
Presumably two days later, the Prius blows into the parking lot at the Work Bench. Before Sam goes in, both Ben and Sock agree that Sam should keep the truth about his possible parentage from Andi "at least until we figure out what it all means." A month later, and they still haven't figured this out? It's pretty simple in my opinion: he's screwed. Sam is reluctant to keep yet another thing from Andi, though, so Sock gives him a "buck up li'l camper" speech - which is basically to give him a bag of chips. It works. Sam is off, and man, after two days of straight driving, I sure hope Sam showered before trying to win his girlfriend back.
Sam walks by the Bench breakroom and sees Andi at her locker putting her apron on. He enters, and she sees him. She looks shocked for a second, and Sam tries to adopt his best "I'm sooooo sorry" pose. Andi then turns back and takes down a box from the top of the lockers. Walking over, she heavily drops it on the table. Clearly, Sam's pose didn't work. Without so much as a hello, she informs him they were evicted from their apartment. The Devil's a strict landlord, isn't he? I mean, they were only gone a month - but then again, considering the letter fiasco, I'm betting it must have also been Sock's job to pay the rent. Andi also says she left him a ton of messages about the eviction, which he can pretty much ignore now. Looking hurt, she indicates the box. "I went by and got what I could." BWAH! "What she could get" is a mini-fan, a toaster, and about 5 other things. I am now SURE Sam's pose didn't work.
To his credit, Sam takes this news fairly well. It's clear getting back into Andi's good graces is more important to him. He keeps trying to apologize, and tries to explain how he wrote her a letter but Sock forgot to send it. Wrong move, Sammy. Immediately, Andi moves from obviously-worried-but-still-upset to full out pissed. "You gave Sock a letter. To mail." Trust me, the way Andi said them, they weren't questions.
Sam doesn't quite see his mistake at first, so Andi is more than happy to point out the error of his ways. "Okay, well let me ask you this: if it was an emergency, say a life or death situation, would you call Sock?" I think Sam is starting to get a clue here, as he admits "uh, probably not." Andi then angrily asks, "If you need somebody to make you a piece of toast, would you call Sock?" Hee! I love Kick!Ass Andi when she doesn't let Sam get away with his crap. Sam, finally cottoning on, admits that no, giving Sock the letter to mail was probably not one of his brightest moves. His girlfriend then drills it home by bitching at him about how little he must value her, since he gave Sock such an important piece of information that might have prevented her from worrying about him. And in yet another move destined to cement him in worst-boyfriend-ever-excluding-Chris-Brown status, Sam does try to defend himself by lamely telling her, "I put on the stamp myself." Not too surprisingly, this does not win Andi over.
She walks back to her locker and slams it shut. "Oh, but there is one bit of information." Seems Ted has fired the trio, and will have them arrested for trespassing if he sees them. Sam tries to go to her and says "I don't care about that," to which Andi retorts, "No, you don't really care about anything, do you?" She then storms out, but throws out a seriously pissed off "Welcome back!" as she leaves. Gotta say, I think Andi was spot on in her reactions to Sam's return. In fact, I don't think she whaled on him enough.
The Brickhouse. I do have to say it looks odd, but that might be because this is the first time we've seen the outside of it during the day. Sam sums up their current situation fairly succinctly: no money, no jobs, no place to live. "My girlfriend froze me out pretty hard." Snerk. I don't know why I keep cracking up at this line. Anyways, the newly jobless and homeless decide the best use of their remaining assets is of course to spend it on beer. Going through the box of their stuff, Ben gets all excited because Andi managed to save his crimper, although personally, I'd think he'd have more use for a straightener. Remember, for Ben it's all about the hair.
The trio try and brainstorm where they might be able to crash, and my immediate thought is Sam's house. After selling his soul to the Devil, I kinda think Mom owes him. Ben goes first though, by saying they can't live at his house, as his grandmother is getting pretty senile and just bought a gun. Sam quickly agrees that Ben's place is out. Sock goes next, and vetoes his mom's house because he hates his new step-dad, Morris. So...that leaves Sam's house, right? Right? RIGHT? But surprisingly, Sam doesn't mention his mom at all. Now granted, we know Sam can't exactly go home, since presumably Sam's dad is there, and considering Sam believes his dad is dead and all, walking in on him might prove...well a bit awkward. But still, a mention would have been nice, even if it was Sam saying he still wasn't ready to deal with his mom, Satan, and/or living in a house he grew up in with his dad.
So instead, the writers decide to ignore Sam's mom, house, and all the assorted problems that go with it. They solve the issue by having Ben remind Sock they can't really move to his mom's house anyways, because she and her new husband are probably having sex all the time. The thought of his mom knocking boots seems to blow Sock's mind. For a minute, he literally can't handle the thought, let alone the English language. When he finally returns to reality, this then leads to his declaration that they MUST move into his mom's house, if only to stop her from having all the s-e-x.
Wysocki house. Sock's banging on the door singing "Mama! It's your little Sock puppet, here to move back in!" He gives Sam and Ben a big grin, and I swear, Sock is so full of himself that sometimes it's beyond ridiculous. The boy really has far too much sense of self. His ego almost matches the Devil's. All that changes, however, when the door remains closed. Sock starts pounding a bit harder. "You're making me look dumb in front of my friends!" Hey, Sock? FYI, it's not your mom that's making you look stupid.
Finally, the door opens, but it's not Sock's mom. It's some new chick, who keeps the chain lock on as she demands, "What do you want?" Sock looks at her in confusion. "Who are you?" She bitches back, "Who are YOU?" And there endeth the only thing I liked about New Chick in the entire episode. Reason why? She now turns into the dumbest character known to man, which I guess in a way makes her a perfect match for Sock.
I originally wrote a paragraph for what happens next, but it turns out I can do it in one sentence: Sock and New Stupid Chick tussle over the chain locked door, and despite living in Sock's house with all of Sock's stuff - not to mention Sock's mom - Stupid Chick insists she's never heard of a "Sock" and henceforth slams the door on his face. Which, if I haven't mentioned before, makes Stupid Chick very stupid, especially considering what we learn later in the episode.
Sam then sighs at the other two and says, "Looks like we're sleeping in my car." Sock says never. Ben reminds him they just slept in his car for four weeks. Sock replies, "Well, never again."
Cue the door of the Work Bench falling down, with Sock holding a sledgehammer behind it. Sam is impressed. "You are a problem solver." Well, Sam, Sock has had this particular problem before. It's not hard to come up with the same solution you used last time. Sock then tells them "the Bench is our oyster to be shucked." Proving they actually do pay attention to their jobs, both Sam and Ben obediently list off the correct aisles where they can find the cots (aisle 10) and down pillows (aisle 6 - because the crappy foam ones in aisle 5 just won't do). Sam even pipes in with the location of the whiskey (Ted's office, bottom left drawer). Sam's first stop though? Aisle 16 - new doors.
As Sam puts the new door up, hey! we get our only teleportation of the night. I always suck at describing what the Devil actually does to him. Transport (tm Star Trek)? Orb (tm Charmed)? Neither of those work, since Sam doesn't get those little nifty swirling things when the Devil takes him. I think I'll settle for "apparate" until I get struck by something that's actually clever. Sam always does remind me a bit of Harry Potter - except Sam's taller, has no lightning-shaped scar, doesn't wear glasses, and is a whole lot dorkier.
So anyways, Sam realizes immediately that he's no longer in Kansas anymore. He turns, because as usual, he seems to know where the Devil is long before he actually sees him. The Devil is standing behind him, holding a rather big ass bore, and looking quite pleased. Nothing new there. He greets Sam with his widest grin. "Well, would you look at that, the Prodigal Son has returned!" Now normally, I'd want to discuss the OOOOO BIG CLUE HERE, but to be honest, I'm a little distracted by the fact that for some reason the Devil seems to suddenly be channelling a leprechaun. Why he chose his best Lucky Charms accent to welcome Sam home is beyond me.
Luckily, the accent disappears as fast as it came. "Just kidding." He starts to walk away, with Sam dutifully following. "I knew the real Prodigal Son, you know. The dude was an ass. Super needy." Okay, forget the ruckus raised about this show promoting Satanism in kids. I want to know why the Christian Right hasn't really gone after it, especially after what happened to The Book of Daniel. I mean, so far the Devil's mocked Catholics, confirmed evolution, said the Bible wasn't true, and now he's knocking the Son of God. I think we may finally have found the only good thing about this show being on the CW: Gossip Girl and their OMFG! campaign distracts them too much to notice.
The duo walk over to a brick wall, and the Devil starts using the big ass bore to drill a hole. Gotta say, this scene reminds me eerily of the scene outside Greg's home when the Devil walked up and handed Sam a knife. Creepy as all get out. Even Sam is a bit WTF? The Devil doesn't seem to notice though, and asks how Sam's vacation was. Sam says it was good. The Devil is all, "Just good? I let you take a month off. Details, details!" Sam hems and haws before finally responding. "We drove almost all the way to Texas, and, uh, spent a bunch of quality time with Sock and Ben. Did a lot of thinking..." At this point the Devil hears even my bored inner voice and interrupts Sam by saying, "I gotta tell you man, your trip sounds like a real snorefest. Did you at least get a hooker in Reno?" I thought they went to Tahoe? For that matter, where did they get all the money for this trip anyhow?
Short answer: no hooker. Surprising, considering Sock was on the trip too. The Devil seems a bit disappointed. "Well, we all make mistakes." He finally finishes drilling the hole and steps back. "Regardless, vacation's over. Take a peek." Grammar geek sidetrack ahead: How I heart the Devil right now for using the correct form of "regardless" rather than the more popular - but entirely incorrect - "irregardless". Yay! Nice continuity from the guy who once chided Sam to use his words. Sam leans over, and sees through the hole about twenty beefy men, all fighting one another. Sam asks what he's looking at, and the Devil points out one in particular: "The one with the ink is Derek McCarthy. In life, he was a gang leader, cop killer, general all-around psycho with a thirst for violence - as you can see." We watch as Derek pretty much beats the crap out of all the others.
Sam turns around to see the Devil holding a rather large vessel box. "For you! A little welcome home gift." Sighing, Sam walks over and opens it up. He pulls the vessel out and waves it around, a huge WTF? look on his face. The Devil teases him, "Aw, you look like a little fairy princess!" The line to me seems incredibly out of place. Sam looks more like he's got something stuck in his teeth more than he looks like a fairy princess.
"What is it?" The Devil tells him it's a cattle prod. Sam gets upset. "And I'm supposed to catch that behemoth with just this?" The Devil cracks up. "Oh, of course not. Don't be silly. You're supposed to catch ALL those behemoths with that." I knew there was a reason the earlier fighting scene reminded me of a nesting site for vermin! It's like the place is infested with souls, and Sam is their exterminator. Who ya gonna call? GhostBusters!
While Sam does his usual freak out, the Devil responds, "Hey man, you're the one who wanted to go on vacation." Uh, no. Not true, Devil. YOU'RE the one who told Sam to take the time off while he mourned the loss of his father. "We'll both know when you're ready to return to work." Apparently, no good deed by the Devil goes unpunished. He then disappears, leaving Sam to continue looking balefully through the peephole at the twenty odd souls still brawling. Not to mention, figure out how to get home. Man, if this doesn't teach Sam to never take a vacation again, nothing will. Poor Sam.
Commercial.
Back at the Bench, and the trio are all lying on cots reading the files on the souls. They don't sound like a pleasant lot. One actually gouged his enemies' eyes out and set them on fire. What that accomplished, I have no idea, since it's not like his victims could see or feel their eyeballs in flames. But hey, I guess you don't have to make sense in order to be evil. Sam is not happy, not at all, and does his usual blah, blah, blah whinecakes. "There's no way we can get all these guys. What are we going to do?"
At this, Ben helpfully supplies, "Ted." Sam is all "Huh?" until we pan up and see Ted standing behind him, looking like he just got Manolo Blahniks for Christmas. Sam's plan is to plead with him not to call the cops, but Ted is too far gone in his joy. Sock, on the other hand, has a different idea: blackmail. Turns out, his plan is more successful, since Ted's been buying company merchandise and reselling it for profit. Ted, in a hilarious Captain Morgan pose, promptly asks, "See you at work tomorrow?" Sock responds, "We'll be a little late." Wow, Sock really is the Problem Solver.
Next morning. The trio clocks in, and Sock promptly leaves to parts unknown. Since he's whining about his night sleeping at the Bench, I'll give you one guess where he's headed. Andi walks in, with a posture reminiscent of my cat when I brought my new kitten home. She clearly exudes a "don't fuck with me" attitude. Sam, much like my kitten, proves he really needs a course on reading body language. He tries to ask her out for lunch and is promptly shot down. Andi angrily blows past him, and in a loud stage whisper with a tone that clearly indicates he thinks she should be over this by now, Sam once again shows his complete lack of Good Boyfriend skills. "When are you going to stop being mad at me?" And I'm sorry. I love you Sam, but dude, she's pissed at you for good reason. Must I seriously remind you of the scene I recapped between the two of you some 12 billion pages ago? For Pete's sake, Rome was not built in a day. Ben consoles him with a $5 bill, because despite the recession, the market value for Words of Wisdom are still too much for Ben to afford.
We are now back at Sock's house, where he is banging on the door. No answer. He then tries to bust in, but trips on the doormat and falls backwards down the steps - and when I first saw that, I literally gasped. As Tyler falls, it REALLY looks like he bangs his head HARD on the cement. It's almost face-plant worthy. The show even adds a "whap" sound to it. I hope that stunt didn't hurt Tyler - or his double if that's who was used. It did not look pleasant.
Sigh. We now come to the part I hate, as Stupid Chick returns. We learn her name is Kristen, but from now on I am officially calling her Not!Josie. You will find out why shortly enough.
Kitchen. Nutshell: Not!Josie is Sock's New Sister! Sock is Not!Josie's New Brother! Not!Josie is so excited to have a Brother! She always wanted a Brother! Sock is also so excited he has a Sister! Yaaaaaaaay! Big Brother then looks down Little Sister's shirt, as Little Sister leans over to check on Big Brother's leg when Big Brother hurt it when he fell.
BTW, tired of the sister/brother language? Spoiler alert: Get used to it. It's the entire vocabulary of these two whenever they are in a scene together.
It's now time for Blue's Rants Part I: In this kitchen scene, Sock makes a racial slur so offensive I won't retype it here. It's awful, and not at ALL funny, as Miley Cyrus also recently found out. But how does Not!Josie react? Does she call him out and tell him that's really not appropriate? No. What Not!Josie does instead is a little girl giggle and LETS HIM OFF THE HOOK. She is Reaper's version of the quintessential little woman. I miss Josie. More importantly, I miss Josie who would smack Sock upside the head when he needed it. Now there's pretty much no one left to reign in Sock when he crosses the line because heaven knows Sam and Ben sure as hell won't do it.
And no, that's not the only rant I have about the character of Kristen. Stay tuned, for there is more. She's in two more scenes.
New scene. It's the alley outside the warehouse, wherein the souls are still brawling. The trio discuss their options, but since the show has a new Season Two Mandate that all Sock's sentences must include the word "sister" or "sis", predictably this is the new subject the boys latch onto. At least, I think he's talking about Not!Josie. I got a bit confused for a minute there when he called her "sultry and exotic".
As Sam points out the downfalls of dating your sister (awkward Christmases if she says no being his most compelling argument), three rather-intimidating-looking souls come out. Actually, two rather-intimidating-looking souls come out, carrying an unconscious third that's obviously the loser in the Ready to Rumble contestants Sam's supposed to be catching. Both groups look at each other for a moment, and then the souls drop Unconscious Soul and attack. Much RAH RAH-ing and GRR GRR-ing ensues. Sam immediately zaps one of the souls, and cute little sparkles come out of the vessel. He then tosses it to Sock. Sock mocks the other soul and then tries to zap it, but this vessel is Dirt Devil 2 - meaning it has to recharge. There's a rather hilarious bit where both Ben and Sam jump on the second soul and use him as their own personal Merry-Go-Round. Sock is freaking out until finally the light turns green and he takes out the soul. All three look at each other, and an out-of-breath Sock asks incredulously, "We've got to fight 20 more guys like that???" Clearly, math was never Sock's strong suit. 20-2=18. Out of the blue, he then quickly turns and runs away - presumably in fear - with the other two right behind him, leaving the easiest catch, Unconscious Soul, still lying unconscious on the ground.
Commercial.
Kitchen again. The boys act like they've never seen a vessel that needs to recharge. Granted, we already know from the opening scenes that Sock has no long or short term memory, but I'm wondering what Sam and Ben's excuses are. Sam sighs that the Devil's setting him up and wants him to die. Well...the Devil's certainly set him up before, but I'm not buying he wants Sam to die. Something else is at play here - and by that I mean, most likely it's simply the Devil playing with his favorite toy. I wouldn't put it past him. He's seems most amused whenever Sam ends up in some impossible situation the Devil has orchestrated.
Ben then continues to show his lack of long-term memory skills by forgetting everything he has ever learned about the Devil in his entire life, and suggests Sam use his "family ties" to ask his father the Devil to get him out of this mess. Sam, however, shows he's got at least some memory. The Devil's never made his son's life easier before, so Sam can't exactly see why he'd do so now that the cat's out of the bag.
So...we finally get the confirmation, huh? Sam is Official Devil Spawn. Why does this seem too easy? Not to mention how the way it's delivered, it feels more like an assumption on Sam's part, rather than a bona fide fact. I'd say it's a letdown, but considering how the whole thing plays out this episode, I'm really not so sure.
And I'd move on from this scene, but unfortunately something else happens, which leads to Blue's Rants Part II: Not!Josie walks into the kitchen wearing a bikini so skimpy it barely covers her butt. Sock drools, and Ben approves. We even get the much internet-beloved "She's so hot" "Smokin' hot" "Shut your mouth, that is my sister. I've got dibs" exchange. So here's my rant: How offensive is it that the CW thinks women would actually LIKE a girl so obviously hired to do absolutely NOTHING other than be used as a sexual object - and with air in her head to boot. Now, if this show was entirely aimed towards teen boys, I'd really have no standing here with my complaint about Not!Josie and her Not!Bikini. But the CW wants FEMALES. More importantly, they want the 18-34 females. Desperately. In response, Reaper created two new female characters to pull in those demos. But Kristen? This is what 18-34 year old women want to see? No. No way. Uh uh. We've lost a strong female character that women can look up to, and we get this degrading airhead instead? Words cannot describe my fury. I feel so bad for Valarie Rae Miller. She didn't deserve this treatment. BTW, I've seen those pictures of Missy Peregrym in a bathing suit. So tell me, if scantily clad hot chicks are the way to draw in viewers, then why the hell isn't SHE being used this way also? And not for nothing, but I'm pretty sure Valarie would rock a bikini too.
Finally moving on: Work Bench. Ben and Sock try to soften Andi up on Sam by "reading" his letter to her. But since they lost the letter, they're basically just pulling crap out of their asses - and rather bad crap I might add, since it sounds like a love note written by a third grader. Andi gently tells them she appreciates the gesture, but ultimately this is between her and Sam. Once again, Andi is right. Girl is batting 1000 this episode.
Work Bench again, only back in the warehouse. Sam is summoning Papa Dearest by drawing a circle and pentagram on the ground, and reciting some incantation. The Devil shows up, but only because he wants to point out that Sam's "pentagram" is actually the Star of David. "Mazel Tov!" Heh. Side note: since Sam's standing directly inside the circle, does this mean the Star of David negates the Devil's inability to see inside it? Interesting. Perhaps I should change the password on our spoiler board. Kidding!
As the Devil reacts to learning that radishes are supposed to his version of a sex toy, Sam tries to persuade him to lighten up his workload. Oddly, the Devil seems a bit surprised by Sam's mention of "our special relationship". Hmm. Another clue that he's just going along with Sam's assumptions? Anyways, he fake considers Sam's request, congratulates him on playing the nepotism card, then promptly shuts him down with a Big Fat No. "Your duties and obligations remain status quo."
I feel like inserting a whopping party smilie here, as Sam FINALLY asks the right question: "But why?" Yes, Devil. Please do explain. Why exactly does Sam have to continue working for you? How is it you still own Sam's soul, when it seems to me that if you are his Real Dad, the Olivers had no standing to sell it to you in the first place? For that matter, if Sam is really your son, then why do you even need a contract in order to get him to work for you? You're evil. I'm pretty sure you can be persuasive enough without a binding legal document. And if what Mr. Oliver said was true, doesn't that mean the contract is void anyways, since Sam is not the Oliver's firstborn son?
Dammit though, the Devil ignores us both. Instead, he gives a creepy little side sermon that I'm just going to transcribe: "Let me give you a little history lesson, Sam. I have been soiling pure innocent maidens since the beginning of time. I have sired many, many, many children on this Godforsaken planet, hoping that each would finally be the one that would bring about Hell on Earth. But no, they all turn out to be duds. Every single one of them. So I will say to you what I say to them: Stop whining and do your job."
I must say, Ray is all kinds of awesome while delivering this speech too. All the right emphases on all the right words. Disgust on "Godforsaken" and "duds", and power on "Stop whining". However, I do have a nitpick: Whuh? Sam's not the only child working - or has worked - for him? Then what about Steve and Tony's assertion that Sam is special? "The Devil doesn't just hang with anyone" and "I've known many reapers, but none like you - the Devil takes an interest in you." The time the Devil spends with Sam alone seems to indicate there's more to Sam than meets the eye. Is the Devil as interested in all his other children? Does he have them all under a contract in order to force them to work too? And what about the Rebellion? They seemed to act like Sam is the first Devil Spawn they've ever encountered. So are they trying to kill all the others out there too? Or are they just too stupid to have noticed the others throughout the millenia? Granted, the Devil did pretty much throw Sam at them with a big neon sign blinking SPECIAL TO ME on top of his head, but just let me say that this feels instead to me like yet another clue that something totally fishy is going on. Dear writers: Please, please, PLEASE do NOT make it fishy simply because you don't understand the concept of continuity. Tie it in! Have it make sense! I'm begging you!!!
(Also, Mrs. Oliver was a pure innocent maiden? I thought she was married when Sam was conceived. That makes her neither unsoiled, pure innocent, or a maiden. Either that, or she's not Sam's mom. And finally: Ugh. Why couldn't they have used the word "despoiled" instead? Because "soiled"? Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.)
But Go Sam! Belying once again the Devil's assertion that Sam isn't all that special, Sam does what I suspect no one is really allowed to do with the Prince of Darkness and Supreme Ruler of Hell: Tell him off. Angrily. "You've given me a stupid recharging cattle prod! How am I supposed to catch twenty souls with that?"
Unfortunately, Sam once again learns his unique position only gets him into more trouble, not less, as the Devil tries not to grin. "Well, to be precise, it's not twenty souls anymore." He suddenly has a new box filled with more file folders in his hands now, which he drops heavily onto the floor. "It's forty." Why do I get the feeling the Devil only added on to the load because Sam tried to question him?
Sam's reaction to this new chain of events is to state flatly, "You're trying to kill me." And in an interesting acting choice by Bret, Sam doesn't beg, plead, get angry, or look resigned about this. Instead, he chastises. "You're supposed to be my father."
Sam must strike a nerve with dear old Dad, because in an acting choice by Ray that's just as interesting, the Devil doesn't laugh Sam off with his usual smug I-know-better-about-all-things attitude. Instead, for a brief moment, the Devil actually flashes a concerned - not to mention a bit confused IMO - expression towards the accusation he wants his son dead. That passes quickly, though, as the Devil tries to blow Sam off. "Well, even in the wild, parents kill their young. It's not that big a deal."
In disbelief, Sam shakes his head. Once again, the Devil tries to sell Sam a line that I'm not buying and I don't think Sam should either. "All I'm saying is, you're not as special as you think you are, buddy. Don't you forget that." Seriously, this just feels like a massive misdirect to me, especially considering what the Devil does next: He cruelly tells Sam, "Now you either figure this thing out and save your skin, or you're a dud too." He then walks away, but turns back at the last minute. "Kinda counting on dud. I'm just saying." A complete lie there, I think, as I'm betting the Devil is in reality counting on Sam being the exact opposite. I'm pretty sure that between "Leon", "Hungry for Fame", "The Leak", and "Greg Schmeg" the Devil does NOT think Sam's a dud.
Commercial.
Kitchen! This scene is entitled "Three Dudes Spend All Night Getting Drunk". I'm going to pretend they were drunk to begin with, as it's the only plausible way to explain why Ben is surprised to hear there's no benefit to being the Devil's son. Seriously, Benji seems to have the brains of a squid in this episode. And Ben's untied hair!!! They made us see The Hair!!! I'd warned them never to sneak that up on us again! Stupid Reaper. I'd also say the all-nighter explains Sock's nudity too, but we are talking about Underpants Man, so eh. The purpose of drunk night is to come up with a plan to catch the souls. Indeed, they do come up with one in the morning: Get the souls drunk. Sock declares them all college men. Well, maybe my former roommate's version of college, at any rate.
Cut to a beer truck, which Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest apparently plan to take. Ben tries to be the voice of reason: "Guys, this is wrong. It's stealing." Funny how Ben's sense of morality only really comes out to play when it's beer involved, and not say, Work Bench merchandise. Anyways, Sam replies, "Sometimes in order to do something good you have to do something bad first." I'm in agreement with the others, this seems like an odd thing for our hero to say. Granted, Sam has done morally questionable things before, like stealing Bench stuff, or trying to kill Greg, but somehow this seems more...calculated on Sam's part. Like he's fully aware of what he's doing this time, and this is a proactive plan - whereas the other times he's just being reactive to something Sock or the Devil did. Makes me worry a bit for our boy.
It's not long before opportunity knocks, though, and the trio rush out to take the truck. Ben and Sock run to close the doors in the back, while Sam jumps into the front. Big oops there, as the truck's cab isn't empty. The passenger and Sam stare at other for a moment before the other guy asks, "Can I help you?" Ha! Sam starts babbling about how he must be in the wrong truck, he was delivering next door, yada yada. I swear, if there was an Olympic event for babbling, Sam would win. Sock ruins all this, however, when we hear him yell, "Yeah! Let's steal some beer, Sammy! Go go go go go!" Sam flees.
Now cut to a Work Bench truck, where Sam is painting over the WB logo with a color that doesn't even remotely match the rest of the van, which makes me sorely tempted to insert a CW and WB joke here. Off to the side, Ben brags he's done painting the beer logo. Sam and Sock go and look and BWAH! They've brought back the leprechaun joke. Sometimes I wonder if we're supposed to think the Devil can see the future, or if this is just another example of the writers playing around. Either way, they really are quite brilliant. Ben gets all upset when the other two point out his "leprechaun" looks more like a baby, and tries his best to spin things Bill O'Reilly-style by insisting it's a leprechaun, even though it has no hat, is holding a baby bottle, and clearly wearing a bib. Snerk.
Fi-nal-ly. We get the Moment of Truth scene. Back at the Bench, Sam spots Andi, but she ignores him. He chases after her, trying once again to apologize, but still proving He. Just. Doesn't. Get. It. While he admits that he should have mailed the letter himself, his insistence that he was running away from his life completely missed Andi's original point back in Act I that as his girlfriend they should be in this together. Yet Sam's reaction whenever things are hard? A bender with his buddies. He never goes to Andi, despite the fact it's clear she's the only one who will actually listen to him. Sock and Ben always blow off his fears. Honestly, I'm with Andi when she tells him that running away from his life doesn't look all that much different from running away from her. Sam may love her, have pined for her for years, is thrilled she's finally with him, but dammit, she barely comes in fourth in his life. That's got to hurt.
But Sam's learning in this scene is not yet done. There is still one more lesson. After Andi complains that when she didn't get any word from him during his trip, she worried he might be dead, Sam actually promises that he will never put her in that situation again. Now, I have long complained about Sam not really accepting the gravity of his hellish situation, especially its impact on others, so imagine my relief when it's Andi who does it for him instead. She rightly points out to him that no, he works for the Devil. That will never change, and he is never going to be able to keep that promise. Sam really needs to grow up and accept his reality. I'm glad Andi's around to provide the stimulus for that. I think that at the end of this exchange, this is the closest we've ever seen Sam near tears.
Night, back at the alley. The trio are overlooking the repainted "beer" truck they've left for bait. Apparently Sock paid for all the beer with a Work Bench Corporate Card he found in Lost and Found. Hey Ben! Pray tell us how that's not stealing. Nada? Not even a mention of probable forgery or the stolen Work Bench truck? I guess I'll move on then. Sock tells Sam they buttered Andi up, but Sam informs them no, she's still pretty angry. Sock is at a loss as to why they can't just patch things up, but a morose Sam is finally realizing that with his dangerous life as the Devil's bounty hunter, it's entirely possible there is no hope for him and Andi. Why Sam has never thought of this before is still beyond me. Has he even given a thought to his future? Somehow I doubt he's really considered how he can stay with Andi, get married, raise a family, and live a normal life - all with the specter of the Devil hanging over him. Sock asks if Sam is going to split up with her, but Sam leaves the question hanging.
Meanwhile, the Fight Club discovers the truck. They take the bait, along with all of Reaper's special effects budget, as they roll the truck over and set it on fire. Again, much Rah! Rah-ing and Grr! Grr-ing ensues, this time accompanied by a big explosion. Sock worries. "I just hope they're not angry drunks."
Commercial.
Rooftop. The trio look down through the skylight to see all the souls knocked out, apparently drunk off their asses. "They even drank all the Zimas." Hee. Sam stands up and we see he's all wrapped up in rope. The intent is clearly to lower Sam into the warehouse to get the souls. This shows my science geek side (not to mention my perverted side) as my first thought when I saw him was ouch! Small surface, major pressure of gravity. That's not going to feel so good when he's lowered down, especially in the crotch and hip area. Sam double-checks that the ropes will hold, and Ben sulks that of course they will, he was a Cub Scout and excelled at knot tying. Sock mentions, "Didn't they kick you out of Scouts?" To which Ben responds, "They're a very political organization." So...what message precisely is this? That Ben is awesomely gay? Or the Scouts are racist?
What follows next is perhaps one of the most brilliant things I have ever watched. IMO it even eclipses the washer-falling-on-Sam "Oh he is evil like none have known before" scene from the opener of last year's finale. I'm sorry, I'll recap it as best I can, but I can in no way near emcompass the true hilarity of this scene: We get a shot of Sam being lowered into the warehouse, Mission Impossible-style. But the song? Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies from The Nutcracker. As Sam "flies" through the air, he zaps each soul with his wand, er, cattle prod, leaving little sparkles behind. He looks just like a fairy princess. Honestly, all the boy is missing are wings - oh yeah, and the tiara and poofy dress. Once again I am left to wonder if the Devil has precognition, although with this scene I'm thinking more it's that the writers are simply geniuses. Let me just say that I am very happy I was not eating or drinking when I first saw this, as I really can't afford to lose another laptop.
But all good things must come to an end, as it becomes clear Ben was most likely kicked out of the Scouts for incompetence. The knots come loose, and Sam falls - right on top of a pile of souls, waking them up. They start to go after him and he runs. He climbs a ladder and finds a firehose, which he wraps around himself. He jumps out the upper story window, only to crash into the lower story one - right back to where he started, and into the crowd of the souls now coming to surround him.
Sam turns on the firehose, and sprays the souls down in a desperate attempt to keep them away. Unfortunately, he quickly runs out of water, and is now faced with 12 Angry Wet Men. Displaying his Harry Potter-like ability which I love so dear, Sam looks at his vessel and then at the water. Much like when Harry figured out how to kill Diary!Riddle in Chamber of Secrets, intuitively our hero here also knows exactly what to do: he jams the cattle prod into the pool of water surrounding the souls. The current is carried out, catching them all and zapping them straight into the vessel. It's a skill Sam has shown time and time before, like when he finally figured out how the toaster in "All Mine" worked. Sam is no dud.
As Sam celebrates his victory, he notices off to the side a soul left standing. Cockily, he walks over to get him. The soul tries to talk him out of it, saying he isn't like the other souls, after he escaped from Hell he was only hanging with them because he "figured safety in numbers". Sam's all, "uh huh, suuure, whatever" and zaps him. But although it's recharged, the cattle prod doesn't work. The soul gets very excited, muttering, "I don't believe it, it worked!" He tells Sam to try again, which he does. Still nothing. The soul - whose name is Alan - rejoices. "I'm out! I beat the Devil!"
Understandably, this gets Sam's attention fast. "What?!" Excited, Alan tells him, "I beat your boss, baby! I sold my soul to the Devil and I got out of the deal. I'm free!"
Sam is astounded. "He owned your soul? He owns my soul! How the hell did you get out of it???" I gotta say, Alan's surprisingly selfish: "He owns your soul? That's a bummer for you man, but not for me." Sam furiously rounds on him, demanding an answer. Alan backs off, going "okay, okay!" He tells Sam first he wants the vessel, which Sam immediately hands over, and which Alan promptly uses to knock Sam out. When I first read that spoiler, I was all "man, Sam so deserves that for being stupid enough to hand over the vessel to a soul", but after watching this scene play out, especially after the previous Sam/Andi scene, I'm not blaming Sam anymore. He's desperate himself to get out from under the Devil, and this guy is his New Hope - and quite possibly, his only hope.
Commercial.
Bench. A very bouncy Sam strides up to Andi, who's working behind a counter. "We've got to talk!" he happily chirps. This must be early morning, because Andi doesn't seem to notice the change in Sam's attitude. She unhappily agrees. "I know." She starts in with her "Dear Sam" speech, but when she gets to the part about how she can't see their relationship working out, Sam interrupts her. With a massive smile, he cheerfully tells her, "I was thinking the same thing! Last night I broke up with you! Isn't that weird?" Thus, Sam once again proves how he's really more of a clueless boyfriend then an awesome one. Not too surprisingly, Andi gives him her patented-at-this-point WTH? face, as Sam slaps a file folder on the counter. He turns it around, showing her a picture of Alan.
Wait, the Devil gave Sam the file on a soul he would presumably know out-tricked him? This seems suspicious, and almost a Rebellion-esque set up. If I were Alan, I'd be wary of Sam too. If, that is, it weren't for the fact that as someone who needs redemption in order to get into Heaven, he should really help out the only true innocent person in this whole mess. After all, Steve proves that God forgives, even if on your path to redemption you still end up making mistakes - like trying to sacrifice pot dealers. And question: So Alan's dead, right? He's also tricked the Devil, and has been released from Hell. Obviously, he doesn't want to go back there, but clearly he also can't get into Heaven. Since he's now hanging out on Earth for all eternity, does this make Earth limbo? That would answer so many things about my life if it was.
Anyhoo - Sam excitedly tells Andi all about Alan. How he sold his soul, went to Hell, and then tricked the Devil and got out. Sam insists that in order to get out of his own contract, all he has to do is find him and ask how he managed to accomplish this astonishing feat. Psst, Sam? Methinks it won't quite be that easy. But then, you're cute, but I have long since recognized how you have mush for brains. After all, you continually listen to Sock. And it's at this point that I realize Sam's greatest power, and it is not his contrived-situation-only telekinesis. No, Sam's greatest power is his PuppyDog!Eyes. He directs them full force on Andi and asks hopefully, "Are you in?" She pauses, but it's pretty clear she's melting. Apparently, she's no more immune to PuppyDog!Eyes than the Devil is. Finally, she grins as she answers. "Yeah, I'm in." Sam cracks his adorably big smile, and they lean in together and kiss. Yay!
Wysocki house. &%#$@!#$ Yes, it's time for Blue's Rants Part III. But since I'm running out of energy after writing this War and Peace length recap, I won't go as nuclear this time. Not!Josie comes out to the kitchen where Ben and Sock are. Seems she needs "help in the bedroom." Sock, of course, immediately assumes she's inviting him in for sex. Luckily for Sock, I'll let this stupid assumption pass since I already know about his inability to think, especially whenever he's using his lower brain. And the reason why Not!Josie needs his help? It's because she can't figure out how to push a button. Sock, being the good little boy he is, pushes her buttons for her, which causes a rather arousing reaction in Not!Josie. And I'm sorry, but Not!Josie having a Sleep Number orgasm is even more lame than someone having an orgasm simply because I typed a sentence that used the word "orgasm". Sock, still thinking with his "man muscle", misinterprets Not!Josie's great joy at having Sock home. He's thinking she's talking about them as a couple, when in reality Not!Josie's is just so happy to have a Brother! She then starts a completely inappropriate tickle fight. I loathe this character so, so much. I take great satisfaction when Sock dumps her onto the floor. Also, remember how she didn't recognize Sock at the beginning of the episode? Well, she's sleeping in a room that's covered with pictures of him. Kill this character. NOW.
Parking lot of the Bench, night. Sam locks up, only to hear "The Best" by Joe Esposito blaring at him. He turns around to see the Devil grooving in front of - uh, I really don't know what kind of car it is, and I'll gouge my own eyes out and set them on fire before I ask one of my students. No way am I winding up exposing my completely insane Reaper addiction to them, as I need to preserve my Alpha Mocker status. Anyways, I think it's a Mustang? It's old, I know that much. Why the Devil's more interested in classic cars rather than a $250,000 Lamborghini beats me.
This whole scene genuinely amuses Sam, and he trots over to the Devil and hops into the car with him. The Devil takes off, and when I first saw this I wanted to go into a Wear Your Seatbelt! rant, until I realized, duh. The car's too old for shoulder straps. Plus, out of all the people on the planet, Sam's probably the only one who can safely sit unbuckled in a car with the Devil behind the wheel. At most, he'd disappear, leaving Sam to answer all the cops' questions as to why he's sitting alone in a stolen car.
Gushing over Sam's recent soul-catching performance, the Devil invites him out for a drink. Sam claps his hands together excitedly. "Yeah! Let's do it!" The Devil looks a bit surprised. "For real?" "For real!" is Sam's rather-too-enthusiastic response. "In fact, you know what? Forget the drink. Let's do something crazy!" May I interject at this point and say that this is when I start suspecting that's it's Sam who's playing with his favorite toy this time? He's switched roles with the Devil, and it's quite amusing to watch the Devil get more and more stony as Sam goes on and on about potential hedonistic activities for the night.
Sam continues with his out-of-character bonding suggestions: "Let's hit up some clubs! Maybe an after party?" This finally breaks the camel's back and the Devil stomps on the brakes, bringing them to a screeching halt. "What is the deal, huh? I thought I was the one who was supposed to want to have the fun, and you were supposed to be all pouty and complaining?" Heh. Sam's finally hit upon the secret formula to get the Devil off his back: Be in a fantastic mood whenever he's around. The Devil really is afraid of the super-friendly, isn't he? BTW, how Bret delivers the line "Hey, you wanna go to Vegas? That would be awesome!" is freaking hilarious.
Since Sam's taken all the fun out of the Devil's fun, he begs off and kicks Sam out of the car. "I'm just not feeling it anymore." Sam jumps out, and leans in the open window. He cheerfully thanks the Devil for the ride. To where? The end of the parking lot? Faster than a Ferrari can go 0 to 60 mph, the Devil goes from annoyed to super angry and gives the Creepiest. Speech. Ever - even more than the previous one he gave back in the warehouse about his progeny.
"I think I was wrong about you, Sam. You're not a dud at all. You don't even know what you're capable of. What evil will come your way. What terrible things you will do in my bidding. I look forward to a long and fruitful relationship, Sammy. You go ahead and enjoy your life while you can. Because one of these days, you're mine."
Honestly, I think truer words have never come out of the Devil's mouth, especially the part where Sam is unaware of what he's capable of. And between this scene, and the "you're not special" scene, might I just say that I got the overwhelming feeling throughout this entire episode that the Devil seems to doth protest too much. It's almost like he's afraid of Sam's New Hope-ful attitude, Sam's perceptiveness about their "special relationship", and the implications of both regarding the contract and Sam's continued role as his "employee", so he must smack it down at all costs. Sam must not question the status quo - whatever that is at the time - which is entirely in line with the Devil's former "forget about the contract!" shenanigans back in "Magic". There do seem to be clues IMO that there's a Bigger Truth here than that Sam is simply one of the Devil's many children, or whether he's even Devil Spawn at all. Time will tell if this is the case.
BTW, the creepy speech doesn't faze Sam at all, who now has a smirk on his face which convinces me even further that the over-enthusiasm seen earlier in the car was nothing more than him playing with the Devil. He does a "you're the best" gesture towards the Devil as he turns and walks away. "You have a good night too!" The Devil gets even more sulky and yells, "Just for that I'm going to make it rain!" Cue thunder and a complete downpour. Huh. The Devil can make it rain? I did not know that. He must spend a lot of time being pissed at the Pacific Northwest.
Again, Sam doesn't care he's now drenched to the bone. "Hey! It's cool! I love this weather!" Not saying much, considering as a Washingtonian he's rather obliged to say that or suffer an umbrella beatdown. We are fierce here in the Northwest. Channeling his inner six-year-old, Sam runs across the parking lot and jumps in the biggest puddle he can find.
Thus endeth Episode 201. Blue's grade: A- What's yours?
Long ass recap ahead:
Previously, on Reaper: Sam thought the Devil was carjacking him. Turns out, he's not. Sam's parent's sold his soul to the Devil before he was born. Now our hero gets to spend the rest of his life finding escaped souls using a variety of, uh, unusual vessels, and enduring endless lines at the DMV where the demon Gladys gets to mock him whenever he turns in his catches. I think Sam would have preferred to have been carjacked.
We start off at an old gas-station-slash-convenience-store that's pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Your guess as to where this place is located is as good as mine. Arizona? Montana? Mexico? Wherever it is, it's pretty dusty. Sock and Ben are standing outside next to Sam's Prius. Ben is reading a letter while Sock fiddles with a camera. "Dear Andi..." Uh oh. "You may be wondering why I'm writing you this letter instead of calling you." I'm guessing she's not, since the letter's in Ben's hands and not Andi's. In a nutshell, Sam doesn't want Andi to convince him to come back yet, since he's still dealing with having his soul sold out from under him, his bounty-hunting responsibilities, and the little matter of his dad being buried alive right before his eyes. Honestly, when put like that, I can see why the boy would want a break.
Ben continues to read, "...whenever I hit a rough patch I think of you and..." But we never quite find out what Sam does (I'm sure it's awwwwwwwing though), because at that moment the author himself comes out of the store, hears Ben reading the letter, and flips out. "What the hell are you reading?" Sam then immediately rounds on Sock. "You were supposed to mail that!" Apparently back when they were in Tahoe. Sock is all, oh dude, I totally forgot. Which isn't surprising, considering Sock also forgot his name in Tahoe. We should all now call him Joe.
Sam gets all upset as he realizes Andi has had no word from him in a month, and he was only supposed to be gone two weeks. Sock easily solves this by saying they can hop in the car, drive 90mph, and be home in two days. Sock, being the Devil-lite he is, does try to tempt Sam off the good boy track by waving the car keys and singing, "Unless we go to Sea World!" Sam ignores him, grabs the keys, and they all jump into the car - accidentally leaving Sam's letter to Andi in the dust.
Credits.
Presumably two days later, the Prius blows into the parking lot at the Work Bench. Before Sam goes in, both Ben and Sock agree that Sam should keep the truth about his possible parentage from Andi "at least until we figure out what it all means." A month later, and they still haven't figured this out? It's pretty simple in my opinion: he's screwed. Sam is reluctant to keep yet another thing from Andi, though, so Sock gives him a "buck up li'l camper" speech - which is basically to give him a bag of chips. It works. Sam is off, and man, after two days of straight driving, I sure hope Sam showered before trying to win his girlfriend back.
Sam walks by the Bench breakroom and sees Andi at her locker putting her apron on. He enters, and she sees him. She looks shocked for a second, and Sam tries to adopt his best "I'm sooooo sorry" pose. Andi then turns back and takes down a box from the top of the lockers. Walking over, she heavily drops it on the table. Clearly, Sam's pose didn't work. Without so much as a hello, she informs him they were evicted from their apartment. The Devil's a strict landlord, isn't he? I mean, they were only gone a month - but then again, considering the letter fiasco, I'm betting it must have also been Sock's job to pay the rent. Andi also says she left him a ton of messages about the eviction, which he can pretty much ignore now. Looking hurt, she indicates the box. "I went by and got what I could." BWAH! "What she could get" is a mini-fan, a toaster, and about 5 other things. I am now SURE Sam's pose didn't work.
To his credit, Sam takes this news fairly well. It's clear getting back into Andi's good graces is more important to him. He keeps trying to apologize, and tries to explain how he wrote her a letter but Sock forgot to send it. Wrong move, Sammy. Immediately, Andi moves from obviously-worried-but-still-upset to full out pissed. "You gave Sock a letter. To mail." Trust me, the way Andi said them, they weren't questions.
Sam doesn't quite see his mistake at first, so Andi is more than happy to point out the error of his ways. "Okay, well let me ask you this: if it was an emergency, say a life or death situation, would you call Sock?" I think Sam is starting to get a clue here, as he admits "uh, probably not." Andi then angrily asks, "If you need somebody to make you a piece of toast, would you call Sock?" Hee! I love Kick!Ass Andi when she doesn't let Sam get away with his crap. Sam, finally cottoning on, admits that no, giving Sock the letter to mail was probably not one of his brightest moves. His girlfriend then drills it home by bitching at him about how little he must value her, since he gave Sock such an important piece of information that might have prevented her from worrying about him. And in yet another move destined to cement him in worst-boyfriend-ever-excluding-Chris-Brown status, Sam does try to defend himself by lamely telling her, "I put on the stamp myself." Not too surprisingly, this does not win Andi over.
She walks back to her locker and slams it shut. "Oh, but there is one bit of information." Seems Ted has fired the trio, and will have them arrested for trespassing if he sees them. Sam tries to go to her and says "I don't care about that," to which Andi retorts, "No, you don't really care about anything, do you?" She then storms out, but throws out a seriously pissed off "Welcome back!" as she leaves. Gotta say, I think Andi was spot on in her reactions to Sam's return. In fact, I don't think she whaled on him enough.
The Brickhouse. I do have to say it looks odd, but that might be because this is the first time we've seen the outside of it during the day. Sam sums up their current situation fairly succinctly: no money, no jobs, no place to live. "My girlfriend froze me out pretty hard." Snerk. I don't know why I keep cracking up at this line. Anyways, the newly jobless and homeless decide the best use of their remaining assets is of course to spend it on beer. Going through the box of their stuff, Ben gets all excited because Andi managed to save his crimper, although personally, I'd think he'd have more use for a straightener. Remember, for Ben it's all about the hair.
The trio try and brainstorm where they might be able to crash, and my immediate thought is Sam's house. After selling his soul to the Devil, I kinda think Mom owes him. Ben goes first though, by saying they can't live at his house, as his grandmother is getting pretty senile and just bought a gun. Sam quickly agrees that Ben's place is out. Sock goes next, and vetoes his mom's house because he hates his new step-dad, Morris. So...that leaves Sam's house, right? Right? RIGHT? But surprisingly, Sam doesn't mention his mom at all. Now granted, we know Sam can't exactly go home, since presumably Sam's dad is there, and considering Sam believes his dad is dead and all, walking in on him might prove...well a bit awkward. But still, a mention would have been nice, even if it was Sam saying he still wasn't ready to deal with his mom, Satan, and/or living in a house he grew up in with his dad.
So instead, the writers decide to ignore Sam's mom, house, and all the assorted problems that go with it. They solve the issue by having Ben remind Sock they can't really move to his mom's house anyways, because she and her new husband are probably having sex all the time. The thought of his mom knocking boots seems to blow Sock's mind. For a minute, he literally can't handle the thought, let alone the English language. When he finally returns to reality, this then leads to his declaration that they MUST move into his mom's house, if only to stop her from having all the s-e-x.
Wysocki house. Sock's banging on the door singing "Mama! It's your little Sock puppet, here to move back in!" He gives Sam and Ben a big grin, and I swear, Sock is so full of himself that sometimes it's beyond ridiculous. The boy really has far too much sense of self. His ego almost matches the Devil's. All that changes, however, when the door remains closed. Sock starts pounding a bit harder. "You're making me look dumb in front of my friends!" Hey, Sock? FYI, it's not your mom that's making you look stupid.
Finally, the door opens, but it's not Sock's mom. It's some new chick, who keeps the chain lock on as she demands, "What do you want?" Sock looks at her in confusion. "Who are you?" She bitches back, "Who are YOU?" And there endeth the only thing I liked about New Chick in the entire episode. Reason why? She now turns into the dumbest character known to man, which I guess in a way makes her a perfect match for Sock.
I originally wrote a paragraph for what happens next, but it turns out I can do it in one sentence: Sock and New Stupid Chick tussle over the chain locked door, and despite living in Sock's house with all of Sock's stuff - not to mention Sock's mom - Stupid Chick insists she's never heard of a "Sock" and henceforth slams the door on his face. Which, if I haven't mentioned before, makes Stupid Chick very stupid, especially considering what we learn later in the episode.
Sam then sighs at the other two and says, "Looks like we're sleeping in my car." Sock says never. Ben reminds him they just slept in his car for four weeks. Sock replies, "Well, never again."
Cue the door of the Work Bench falling down, with Sock holding a sledgehammer behind it. Sam is impressed. "You are a problem solver." Well, Sam, Sock has had this particular problem before. It's not hard to come up with the same solution you used last time. Sock then tells them "the Bench is our oyster to be shucked." Proving they actually do pay attention to their jobs, both Sam and Ben obediently list off the correct aisles where they can find the cots (aisle 10) and down pillows (aisle 6 - because the crappy foam ones in aisle 5 just won't do). Sam even pipes in with the location of the whiskey (Ted's office, bottom left drawer). Sam's first stop though? Aisle 16 - new doors.
As Sam puts the new door up, hey! we get our only teleportation of the night. I always suck at describing what the Devil actually does to him. Transport (tm Star Trek)? Orb (tm Charmed)? Neither of those work, since Sam doesn't get those little nifty swirling things when the Devil takes him. I think I'll settle for "apparate" until I get struck by something that's actually clever. Sam always does remind me a bit of Harry Potter - except Sam's taller, has no lightning-shaped scar, doesn't wear glasses, and is a whole lot dorkier.
So anyways, Sam realizes immediately that he's no longer in Kansas anymore. He turns, because as usual, he seems to know where the Devil is long before he actually sees him. The Devil is standing behind him, holding a rather big ass bore, and looking quite pleased. Nothing new there. He greets Sam with his widest grin. "Well, would you look at that, the Prodigal Son has returned!" Now normally, I'd want to discuss the OOOOO BIG CLUE HERE, but to be honest, I'm a little distracted by the fact that for some reason the Devil seems to suddenly be channelling a leprechaun. Why he chose his best Lucky Charms accent to welcome Sam home is beyond me.
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Luckily, the accent disappears as fast as it came. "Just kidding." He starts to walk away, with Sam dutifully following. "I knew the real Prodigal Son, you know. The dude was an ass. Super needy." Okay, forget the ruckus raised about this show promoting Satanism in kids. I want to know why the Christian Right hasn't really gone after it, especially after what happened to The Book of Daniel. I mean, so far the Devil's mocked Catholics, confirmed evolution, said the Bible wasn't true, and now he's knocking the Son of God. I think we may finally have found the only good thing about this show being on the CW: Gossip Girl and their OMFG! campaign distracts them too much to notice.
The duo walk over to a brick wall, and the Devil starts using the big ass bore to drill a hole. Gotta say, this scene reminds me eerily of the scene outside Greg's home when the Devil walked up and handed Sam a knife. Creepy as all get out. Even Sam is a bit WTF? The Devil doesn't seem to notice though, and asks how Sam's vacation was. Sam says it was good. The Devil is all, "Just good? I let you take a month off. Details, details!" Sam hems and haws before finally responding. "We drove almost all the way to Texas, and, uh, spent a bunch of quality time with Sock and Ben. Did a lot of thinking..." At this point the Devil hears even my bored inner voice and interrupts Sam by saying, "I gotta tell you man, your trip sounds like a real snorefest. Did you at least get a hooker in Reno?" I thought they went to Tahoe? For that matter, where did they get all the money for this trip anyhow?
Short answer: no hooker. Surprising, considering Sock was on the trip too. The Devil seems a bit disappointed. "Well, we all make mistakes." He finally finishes drilling the hole and steps back. "Regardless, vacation's over. Take a peek." Grammar geek sidetrack ahead: How I heart the Devil right now for using the correct form of "regardless" rather than the more popular - but entirely incorrect - "irregardless". Yay! Nice continuity from the guy who once chided Sam to use his words. Sam leans over, and sees through the hole about twenty beefy men, all fighting one another. Sam asks what he's looking at, and the Devil points out one in particular: "The one with the ink is Derek McCarthy. In life, he was a gang leader, cop killer, general all-around psycho with a thirst for violence - as you can see." We watch as Derek pretty much beats the crap out of all the others.
Sam turns around to see the Devil holding a rather large vessel box. "For you! A little welcome home gift." Sighing, Sam walks over and opens it up. He pulls the vessel out and waves it around, a huge WTF? look on his face. The Devil teases him, "Aw, you look like a little fairy princess!" The line to me seems incredibly out of place. Sam looks more like he's got something stuck in his teeth more than he looks like a fairy princess.
"What is it?" The Devil tells him it's a cattle prod. Sam gets upset. "And I'm supposed to catch that behemoth with just this?" The Devil cracks up. "Oh, of course not. Don't be silly. You're supposed to catch ALL those behemoths with that." I knew there was a reason the earlier fighting scene reminded me of a nesting site for vermin! It's like the place is infested with souls, and Sam is their exterminator. Who ya gonna call? GhostBusters!
While Sam does his usual freak out, the Devil responds, "Hey man, you're the one who wanted to go on vacation." Uh, no. Not true, Devil. YOU'RE the one who told Sam to take the time off while he mourned the loss of his father. "We'll both know when you're ready to return to work." Apparently, no good deed by the Devil goes unpunished. He then disappears, leaving Sam to continue looking balefully through the peephole at the twenty odd souls still brawling. Not to mention, figure out how to get home. Man, if this doesn't teach Sam to never take a vacation again, nothing will. Poor Sam.
Commercial.
Back at the Bench, and the trio are all lying on cots reading the files on the souls. They don't sound like a pleasant lot. One actually gouged his enemies' eyes out and set them on fire. What that accomplished, I have no idea, since it's not like his victims could see or feel their eyeballs in flames. But hey, I guess you don't have to make sense in order to be evil. Sam is not happy, not at all, and does his usual blah, blah, blah whinecakes. "There's no way we can get all these guys. What are we going to do?"
At this, Ben helpfully supplies, "Ted." Sam is all "Huh?" until we pan up and see Ted standing behind him, looking like he just got Manolo Blahniks for Christmas. Sam's plan is to plead with him not to call the cops, but Ted is too far gone in his joy. Sock, on the other hand, has a different idea: blackmail. Turns out, his plan is more successful, since Ted's been buying company merchandise and reselling it for profit. Ted, in a hilarious Captain Morgan pose, promptly asks, "See you at work tomorrow?" Sock responds, "We'll be a little late." Wow, Sock really is the Problem Solver.
Next morning. The trio clocks in, and Sock promptly leaves to parts unknown. Since he's whining about his night sleeping at the Bench, I'll give you one guess where he's headed. Andi walks in, with a posture reminiscent of my cat when I brought my new kitten home. She clearly exudes a "don't fuck with me" attitude. Sam, much like my kitten, proves he really needs a course on reading body language. He tries to ask her out for lunch and is promptly shot down. Andi angrily blows past him, and in a loud stage whisper with a tone that clearly indicates he thinks she should be over this by now, Sam once again shows his complete lack of Good Boyfriend skills. "When are you going to stop being mad at me?" And I'm sorry. I love you Sam, but dude, she's pissed at you for good reason. Must I seriously remind you of the scene I recapped between the two of you some 12 billion pages ago? For Pete's sake, Rome was not built in a day. Ben consoles him with a $5 bill, because despite the recession, the market value for Words of Wisdom are still too much for Ben to afford.
We are now back at Sock's house, where he is banging on the door. No answer. He then tries to bust in, but trips on the doormat and falls backwards down the steps - and when I first saw that, I literally gasped. As Tyler falls, it REALLY looks like he bangs his head HARD on the cement. It's almost face-plant worthy. The show even adds a "whap" sound to it. I hope that stunt didn't hurt Tyler - or his double if that's who was used. It did not look pleasant.
Sigh. We now come to the part I hate, as Stupid Chick returns. We learn her name is Kristen, but from now on I am officially calling her Not!Josie. You will find out why shortly enough.
Kitchen. Nutshell: Not!Josie is Sock's New Sister! Sock is Not!Josie's New Brother! Not!Josie is so excited to have a Brother! She always wanted a Brother! Sock is also so excited he has a Sister! Yaaaaaaaay! Big Brother then looks down Little Sister's shirt, as Little Sister leans over to check on Big Brother's leg when Big Brother hurt it when he fell.
BTW, tired of the sister/brother language? Spoiler alert: Get used to it. It's the entire vocabulary of these two whenever they are in a scene together.
It's now time for Blue's Rants Part I: In this kitchen scene, Sock makes a racial slur so offensive I won't retype it here. It's awful, and not at ALL funny, as Miley Cyrus also recently found out. But how does Not!Josie react? Does she call him out and tell him that's really not appropriate? No. What Not!Josie does instead is a little girl giggle and LETS HIM OFF THE HOOK. She is Reaper's version of the quintessential little woman. I miss Josie. More importantly, I miss Josie who would smack Sock upside the head when he needed it. Now there's pretty much no one left to reign in Sock when he crosses the line because heaven knows Sam and Ben sure as hell won't do it.
And no, that's not the only rant I have about the character of Kristen. Stay tuned, for there is more. She's in two more scenes.
New scene. It's the alley outside the warehouse, wherein the souls are still brawling. The trio discuss their options, but since the show has a new Season Two Mandate that all Sock's sentences must include the word "sister" or "sis", predictably this is the new subject the boys latch onto. At least, I think he's talking about Not!Josie. I got a bit confused for a minute there when he called her "sultry and exotic".
As Sam points out the downfalls of dating your sister (awkward Christmases if she says no being his most compelling argument), three rather-intimidating-looking souls come out. Actually, two rather-intimidating-looking souls come out, carrying an unconscious third that's obviously the loser in the Ready to Rumble contestants Sam's supposed to be catching. Both groups look at each other for a moment, and then the souls drop Unconscious Soul and attack. Much RAH RAH-ing and GRR GRR-ing ensues. Sam immediately zaps one of the souls, and cute little sparkles come out of the vessel. He then tosses it to Sock. Sock mocks the other soul and then tries to zap it, but this vessel is Dirt Devil 2 - meaning it has to recharge. There's a rather hilarious bit where both Ben and Sam jump on the second soul and use him as their own personal Merry-Go-Round. Sock is freaking out until finally the light turns green and he takes out the soul. All three look at each other, and an out-of-breath Sock asks incredulously, "We've got to fight 20 more guys like that???" Clearly, math was never Sock's strong suit. 20-2=18. Out of the blue, he then quickly turns and runs away - presumably in fear - with the other two right behind him, leaving the easiest catch, Unconscious Soul, still lying unconscious on the ground.
Commercial.
Kitchen again. The boys act like they've never seen a vessel that needs to recharge. Granted, we already know from the opening scenes that Sock has no long or short term memory, but I'm wondering what Sam and Ben's excuses are. Sam sighs that the Devil's setting him up and wants him to die. Well...the Devil's certainly set him up before, but I'm not buying he wants Sam to die. Something else is at play here - and by that I mean, most likely it's simply the Devil playing with his favorite toy. I wouldn't put it past him. He's seems most amused whenever Sam ends up in some impossible situation the Devil has orchestrated.
Ben then continues to show his lack of long-term memory skills by forgetting everything he has ever learned about the Devil in his entire life, and suggests Sam use his "family ties" to ask his father the Devil to get him out of this mess. Sam, however, shows he's got at least some memory. The Devil's never made his son's life easier before, so Sam can't exactly see why he'd do so now that the cat's out of the bag.
So...we finally get the confirmation, huh? Sam is Official Devil Spawn. Why does this seem too easy? Not to mention how the way it's delivered, it feels more like an assumption on Sam's part, rather than a bona fide fact. I'd say it's a letdown, but considering how the whole thing plays out this episode, I'm really not so sure.
And I'd move on from this scene, but unfortunately something else happens, which leads to Blue's Rants Part II: Not!Josie walks into the kitchen wearing a bikini so skimpy it barely covers her butt. Sock drools, and Ben approves. We even get the much internet-beloved "She's so hot" "Smokin' hot" "Shut your mouth, that is my sister. I've got dibs" exchange. So here's my rant: How offensive is it that the CW thinks women would actually LIKE a girl so obviously hired to do absolutely NOTHING other than be used as a sexual object - and with air in her head to boot. Now, if this show was entirely aimed towards teen boys, I'd really have no standing here with my complaint about Not!Josie and her Not!Bikini. But the CW wants FEMALES. More importantly, they want the 18-34 females. Desperately. In response, Reaper created two new female characters to pull in those demos. But Kristen? This is what 18-34 year old women want to see? No. No way. Uh uh. We've lost a strong female character that women can look up to, and we get this degrading airhead instead? Words cannot describe my fury. I feel so bad for Valarie Rae Miller. She didn't deserve this treatment. BTW, I've seen those pictures of Missy Peregrym in a bathing suit. So tell me, if scantily clad hot chicks are the way to draw in viewers, then why the hell isn't SHE being used this way also? And not for nothing, but I'm pretty sure Valarie would rock a bikini too.
Finally moving on: Work Bench. Ben and Sock try to soften Andi up on Sam by "reading" his letter to her. But since they lost the letter, they're basically just pulling crap out of their asses - and rather bad crap I might add, since it sounds like a love note written by a third grader. Andi gently tells them she appreciates the gesture, but ultimately this is between her and Sam. Once again, Andi is right. Girl is batting 1000 this episode.
Work Bench again, only back in the warehouse. Sam is summoning Papa Dearest by drawing a circle and pentagram on the ground, and reciting some incantation. The Devil shows up, but only because he wants to point out that Sam's "pentagram" is actually the Star of David. "Mazel Tov!" Heh. Side note: since Sam's standing directly inside the circle, does this mean the Star of David negates the Devil's inability to see inside it? Interesting. Perhaps I should change the password on our spoiler board. Kidding!
As the Devil reacts to learning that radishes are supposed to his version of a sex toy, Sam tries to persuade him to lighten up his workload. Oddly, the Devil seems a bit surprised by Sam's mention of "our special relationship". Hmm. Another clue that he's just going along with Sam's assumptions? Anyways, he fake considers Sam's request, congratulates him on playing the nepotism card, then promptly shuts him down with a Big Fat No. "Your duties and obligations remain status quo."
I feel like inserting a whopping party smilie here, as Sam FINALLY asks the right question: "But why?" Yes, Devil. Please do explain. Why exactly does Sam have to continue working for you? How is it you still own Sam's soul, when it seems to me that if you are his Real Dad, the Olivers had no standing to sell it to you in the first place? For that matter, if Sam is really your son, then why do you even need a contract in order to get him to work for you? You're evil. I'm pretty sure you can be persuasive enough without a binding legal document. And if what Mr. Oliver said was true, doesn't that mean the contract is void anyways, since Sam is not the Oliver's firstborn son?
Dammit though, the Devil ignores us both. Instead, he gives a creepy little side sermon that I'm just going to transcribe: "Let me give you a little history lesson, Sam. I have been soiling pure innocent maidens since the beginning of time. I have sired many, many, many children on this Godforsaken planet, hoping that each would finally be the one that would bring about Hell on Earth. But no, they all turn out to be duds. Every single one of them. So I will say to you what I say to them: Stop whining and do your job."
I must say, Ray is all kinds of awesome while delivering this speech too. All the right emphases on all the right words. Disgust on "Godforsaken" and "duds", and power on "Stop whining". However, I do have a nitpick: Whuh? Sam's not the only child working - or has worked - for him? Then what about Steve and Tony's assertion that Sam is special? "The Devil doesn't just hang with anyone" and "I've known many reapers, but none like you - the Devil takes an interest in you." The time the Devil spends with Sam alone seems to indicate there's more to Sam than meets the eye. Is the Devil as interested in all his other children? Does he have them all under a contract in order to force them to work too? And what about the Rebellion? They seemed to act like Sam is the first Devil Spawn they've ever encountered. So are they trying to kill all the others out there too? Or are they just too stupid to have noticed the others throughout the millenia? Granted, the Devil did pretty much throw Sam at them with a big neon sign blinking SPECIAL TO ME on top of his head, but just let me say that this feels instead to me like yet another clue that something totally fishy is going on. Dear writers: Please, please, PLEASE do NOT make it fishy simply because you don't understand the concept of continuity. Tie it in! Have it make sense! I'm begging you!!!
(Also, Mrs. Oliver was a pure innocent maiden? I thought she was married when Sam was conceived. That makes her neither unsoiled, pure innocent, or a maiden. Either that, or she's not Sam's mom. And finally: Ugh. Why couldn't they have used the word "despoiled" instead? Because "soiled"? Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.)
But Go Sam! Belying once again the Devil's assertion that Sam isn't all that special, Sam does what I suspect no one is really allowed to do with the Prince of Darkness and Supreme Ruler of Hell: Tell him off. Angrily. "You've given me a stupid recharging cattle prod! How am I supposed to catch twenty souls with that?"
Unfortunately, Sam once again learns his unique position only gets him into more trouble, not less, as the Devil tries not to grin. "Well, to be precise, it's not twenty souls anymore." He suddenly has a new box filled with more file folders in his hands now, which he drops heavily onto the floor. "It's forty." Why do I get the feeling the Devil only added on to the load because Sam tried to question him?
Sam's reaction to this new chain of events is to state flatly, "You're trying to kill me." And in an interesting acting choice by Bret, Sam doesn't beg, plead, get angry, or look resigned about this. Instead, he chastises. "You're supposed to be my father."
Sam must strike a nerve with dear old Dad, because in an acting choice by Ray that's just as interesting, the Devil doesn't laugh Sam off with his usual smug I-know-better-about-all-things attitude. Instead, for a brief moment, the Devil actually flashes a concerned - not to mention a bit confused IMO - expression towards the accusation he wants his son dead. That passes quickly, though, as the Devil tries to blow Sam off. "Well, even in the wild, parents kill their young. It's not that big a deal."
In disbelief, Sam shakes his head. Once again, the Devil tries to sell Sam a line that I'm not buying and I don't think Sam should either. "All I'm saying is, you're not as special as you think you are, buddy. Don't you forget that." Seriously, this just feels like a massive misdirect to me, especially considering what the Devil does next: He cruelly tells Sam, "Now you either figure this thing out and save your skin, or you're a dud too." He then walks away, but turns back at the last minute. "Kinda counting on dud. I'm just saying." A complete lie there, I think, as I'm betting the Devil is in reality counting on Sam being the exact opposite. I'm pretty sure that between "Leon", "Hungry for Fame", "The Leak", and "Greg Schmeg" the Devil does NOT think Sam's a dud.
Commercial.
Kitchen! This scene is entitled "Three Dudes Spend All Night Getting Drunk". I'm going to pretend they were drunk to begin with, as it's the only plausible way to explain why Ben is surprised to hear there's no benefit to being the Devil's son. Seriously, Benji seems to have the brains of a squid in this episode. And Ben's untied hair!!! They made us see The Hair!!! I'd warned them never to sneak that up on us again! Stupid Reaper. I'd also say the all-nighter explains Sock's nudity too, but we are talking about Underpants Man, so eh. The purpose of drunk night is to come up with a plan to catch the souls. Indeed, they do come up with one in the morning: Get the souls drunk. Sock declares them all college men. Well, maybe my former roommate's version of college, at any rate.
Cut to a beer truck, which Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest apparently plan to take. Ben tries to be the voice of reason: "Guys, this is wrong. It's stealing." Funny how Ben's sense of morality only really comes out to play when it's beer involved, and not say, Work Bench merchandise. Anyways, Sam replies, "Sometimes in order to do something good you have to do something bad first." I'm in agreement with the others, this seems like an odd thing for our hero to say. Granted, Sam has done morally questionable things before, like stealing Bench stuff, or trying to kill Greg, but somehow this seems more...calculated on Sam's part. Like he's fully aware of what he's doing this time, and this is a proactive plan - whereas the other times he's just being reactive to something Sock or the Devil did. Makes me worry a bit for our boy.
It's not long before opportunity knocks, though, and the trio rush out to take the truck. Ben and Sock run to close the doors in the back, while Sam jumps into the front. Big oops there, as the truck's cab isn't empty. The passenger and Sam stare at other for a moment before the other guy asks, "Can I help you?" Ha! Sam starts babbling about how he must be in the wrong truck, he was delivering next door, yada yada. I swear, if there was an Olympic event for babbling, Sam would win. Sock ruins all this, however, when we hear him yell, "Yeah! Let's steal some beer, Sammy! Go go go go go!" Sam flees.
Now cut to a Work Bench truck, where Sam is painting over the WB logo with a color that doesn't even remotely match the rest of the van, which makes me sorely tempted to insert a CW and WB joke here. Off to the side, Ben brags he's done painting the beer logo. Sam and Sock go and look and BWAH! They've brought back the leprechaun joke. Sometimes I wonder if we're supposed to think the Devil can see the future, or if this is just another example of the writers playing around. Either way, they really are quite brilliant. Ben gets all upset when the other two point out his "leprechaun" looks more like a baby, and tries his best to spin things Bill O'Reilly-style by insisting it's a leprechaun, even though it has no hat, is holding a baby bottle, and clearly wearing a bib. Snerk.
Fi-nal-ly. We get the Moment of Truth scene. Back at the Bench, Sam spots Andi, but she ignores him. He chases after her, trying once again to apologize, but still proving He. Just. Doesn't. Get. It. While he admits that he should have mailed the letter himself, his insistence that he was running away from his life completely missed Andi's original point back in Act I that as his girlfriend they should be in this together. Yet Sam's reaction whenever things are hard? A bender with his buddies. He never goes to Andi, despite the fact it's clear she's the only one who will actually listen to him. Sock and Ben always blow off his fears. Honestly, I'm with Andi when she tells him that running away from his life doesn't look all that much different from running away from her. Sam may love her, have pined for her for years, is thrilled she's finally with him, but dammit, she barely comes in fourth in his life. That's got to hurt.
But Sam's learning in this scene is not yet done. There is still one more lesson. After Andi complains that when she didn't get any word from him during his trip, she worried he might be dead, Sam actually promises that he will never put her in that situation again. Now, I have long complained about Sam not really accepting the gravity of his hellish situation, especially its impact on others, so imagine my relief when it's Andi who does it for him instead. She rightly points out to him that no, he works for the Devil. That will never change, and he is never going to be able to keep that promise. Sam really needs to grow up and accept his reality. I'm glad Andi's around to provide the stimulus for that. I think that at the end of this exchange, this is the closest we've ever seen Sam near tears.
Night, back at the alley. The trio are overlooking the repainted "beer" truck they've left for bait. Apparently Sock paid for all the beer with a Work Bench Corporate Card he found in Lost and Found. Hey Ben! Pray tell us how that's not stealing. Nada? Not even a mention of probable forgery or the stolen Work Bench truck? I guess I'll move on then. Sock tells Sam they buttered Andi up, but Sam informs them no, she's still pretty angry. Sock is at a loss as to why they can't just patch things up, but a morose Sam is finally realizing that with his dangerous life as the Devil's bounty hunter, it's entirely possible there is no hope for him and Andi. Why Sam has never thought of this before is still beyond me. Has he even given a thought to his future? Somehow I doubt he's really considered how he can stay with Andi, get married, raise a family, and live a normal life - all with the specter of the Devil hanging over him. Sock asks if Sam is going to split up with her, but Sam leaves the question hanging.
Meanwhile, the Fight Club discovers the truck. They take the bait, along with all of Reaper's special effects budget, as they roll the truck over and set it on fire. Again, much Rah! Rah-ing and Grr! Grr-ing ensues, this time accompanied by a big explosion. Sock worries. "I just hope they're not angry drunks."
Commercial.
Rooftop. The trio look down through the skylight to see all the souls knocked out, apparently drunk off their asses. "They even drank all the Zimas." Hee. Sam stands up and we see he's all wrapped up in rope. The intent is clearly to lower Sam into the warehouse to get the souls. This shows my science geek side (not to mention my perverted side) as my first thought when I saw him was ouch! Small surface, major pressure of gravity. That's not going to feel so good when he's lowered down, especially in the crotch and hip area. Sam double-checks that the ropes will hold, and Ben sulks that of course they will, he was a Cub Scout and excelled at knot tying. Sock mentions, "Didn't they kick you out of Scouts?" To which Ben responds, "They're a very political organization." So...what message precisely is this? That Ben is awesomely gay? Or the Scouts are racist?
What follows next is perhaps one of the most brilliant things I have ever watched. IMO it even eclipses the washer-falling-on-Sam "Oh he is evil like none have known before" scene from the opener of last year's finale. I'm sorry, I'll recap it as best I can, but I can in no way near emcompass the true hilarity of this scene: We get a shot of Sam being lowered into the warehouse, Mission Impossible-style. But the song? Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies from The Nutcracker. As Sam "flies" through the air, he zaps each soul with his wand, er, cattle prod, leaving little sparkles behind. He looks just like a fairy princess. Honestly, all the boy is missing are wings - oh yeah, and the tiara and poofy dress. Once again I am left to wonder if the Devil has precognition, although with this scene I'm thinking more it's that the writers are simply geniuses. Let me just say that I am very happy I was not eating or drinking when I first saw this, as I really can't afford to lose another laptop.
But all good things must come to an end, as it becomes clear Ben was most likely kicked out of the Scouts for incompetence. The knots come loose, and Sam falls - right on top of a pile of souls, waking them up. They start to go after him and he runs. He climbs a ladder and finds a firehose, which he wraps around himself. He jumps out the upper story window, only to crash into the lower story one - right back to where he started, and into the crowd of the souls now coming to surround him.
Sam turns on the firehose, and sprays the souls down in a desperate attempt to keep them away. Unfortunately, he quickly runs out of water, and is now faced with 12 Angry Wet Men. Displaying his Harry Potter-like ability which I love so dear, Sam looks at his vessel and then at the water. Much like when Harry figured out how to kill Diary!Riddle in Chamber of Secrets, intuitively our hero here also knows exactly what to do: he jams the cattle prod into the pool of water surrounding the souls. The current is carried out, catching them all and zapping them straight into the vessel. It's a skill Sam has shown time and time before, like when he finally figured out how the toaster in "All Mine" worked. Sam is no dud.
As Sam celebrates his victory, he notices off to the side a soul left standing. Cockily, he walks over to get him. The soul tries to talk him out of it, saying he isn't like the other souls, after he escaped from Hell he was only hanging with them because he "figured safety in numbers". Sam's all, "uh huh, suuure, whatever" and zaps him. But although it's recharged, the cattle prod doesn't work. The soul gets very excited, muttering, "I don't believe it, it worked!" He tells Sam to try again, which he does. Still nothing. The soul - whose name is Alan - rejoices. "I'm out! I beat the Devil!"
Understandably, this gets Sam's attention fast. "What?!" Excited, Alan tells him, "I beat your boss, baby! I sold my soul to the Devil and I got out of the deal. I'm free!"
Sam is astounded. "He owned your soul? He owns my soul! How the hell did you get out of it???" I gotta say, Alan's surprisingly selfish: "He owns your soul? That's a bummer for you man, but not for me." Sam furiously rounds on him, demanding an answer. Alan backs off, going "okay, okay!" He tells Sam first he wants the vessel, which Sam immediately hands over, and which Alan promptly uses to knock Sam out. When I first read that spoiler, I was all "man, Sam so deserves that for being stupid enough to hand over the vessel to a soul", but after watching this scene play out, especially after the previous Sam/Andi scene, I'm not blaming Sam anymore. He's desperate himself to get out from under the Devil, and this guy is his New Hope - and quite possibly, his only hope.
Commercial.
Bench. A very bouncy Sam strides up to Andi, who's working behind a counter. "We've got to talk!" he happily chirps. This must be early morning, because Andi doesn't seem to notice the change in Sam's attitude. She unhappily agrees. "I know." She starts in with her "Dear Sam" speech, but when she gets to the part about how she can't see their relationship working out, Sam interrupts her. With a massive smile, he cheerfully tells her, "I was thinking the same thing! Last night I broke up with you! Isn't that weird?" Thus, Sam once again proves how he's really more of a clueless boyfriend then an awesome one. Not too surprisingly, Andi gives him her patented-at-this-point WTH? face, as Sam slaps a file folder on the counter. He turns it around, showing her a picture of Alan.
Wait, the Devil gave Sam the file on a soul he would presumably know out-tricked him? This seems suspicious, and almost a Rebellion-esque set up. If I were Alan, I'd be wary of Sam too. If, that is, it weren't for the fact that as someone who needs redemption in order to get into Heaven, he should really help out the only true innocent person in this whole mess. After all, Steve proves that God forgives, even if on your path to redemption you still end up making mistakes - like trying to sacrifice pot dealers. And question: So Alan's dead, right? He's also tricked the Devil, and has been released from Hell. Obviously, he doesn't want to go back there, but clearly he also can't get into Heaven. Since he's now hanging out on Earth for all eternity, does this make Earth limbo? That would answer so many things about my life if it was.
Anyhoo - Sam excitedly tells Andi all about Alan. How he sold his soul, went to Hell, and then tricked the Devil and got out. Sam insists that in order to get out of his own contract, all he has to do is find him and ask how he managed to accomplish this astonishing feat. Psst, Sam? Methinks it won't quite be that easy. But then, you're cute, but I have long since recognized how you have mush for brains. After all, you continually listen to Sock. And it's at this point that I realize Sam's greatest power, and it is not his contrived-situation-only telekinesis. No, Sam's greatest power is his PuppyDog!Eyes. He directs them full force on Andi and asks hopefully, "Are you in?" She pauses, but it's pretty clear she's melting. Apparently, she's no more immune to PuppyDog!Eyes than the Devil is. Finally, she grins as she answers. "Yeah, I'm in." Sam cracks his adorably big smile, and they lean in together and kiss. Yay!
Wysocki house. &%#$@!#$ Yes, it's time for Blue's Rants Part III. But since I'm running out of energy after writing this War and Peace length recap, I won't go as nuclear this time. Not!Josie comes out to the kitchen where Ben and Sock are. Seems she needs "help in the bedroom." Sock, of course, immediately assumes she's inviting him in for sex. Luckily for Sock, I'll let this stupid assumption pass since I already know about his inability to think, especially whenever he's using his lower brain. And the reason why Not!Josie needs his help? It's because she can't figure out how to push a button. Sock, being the good little boy he is, pushes her buttons for her, which causes a rather arousing reaction in Not!Josie. And I'm sorry, but Not!Josie having a Sleep Number orgasm is even more lame than someone having an orgasm simply because I typed a sentence that used the word "orgasm". Sock, still thinking with his "man muscle", misinterprets Not!Josie's great joy at having Sock home. He's thinking she's talking about them as a couple, when in reality Not!Josie's is just so happy to have a Brother! She then starts a completely inappropriate tickle fight. I loathe this character so, so much. I take great satisfaction when Sock dumps her onto the floor. Also, remember how she didn't recognize Sock at the beginning of the episode? Well, she's sleeping in a room that's covered with pictures of him. Kill this character. NOW.
Parking lot of the Bench, night. Sam locks up, only to hear "The Best" by Joe Esposito blaring at him. He turns around to see the Devil grooving in front of - uh, I really don't know what kind of car it is, and I'll gouge my own eyes out and set them on fire before I ask one of my students. No way am I winding up exposing my completely insane Reaper addiction to them, as I need to preserve my Alpha Mocker status. Anyways, I think it's a Mustang? It's old, I know that much. Why the Devil's more interested in classic cars rather than a $250,000 Lamborghini beats me.
This whole scene genuinely amuses Sam, and he trots over to the Devil and hops into the car with him. The Devil takes off, and when I first saw this I wanted to go into a Wear Your Seatbelt! rant, until I realized, duh. The car's too old for shoulder straps. Plus, out of all the people on the planet, Sam's probably the only one who can safely sit unbuckled in a car with the Devil behind the wheel. At most, he'd disappear, leaving Sam to answer all the cops' questions as to why he's sitting alone in a stolen car.
Gushing over Sam's recent soul-catching performance, the Devil invites him out for a drink. Sam claps his hands together excitedly. "Yeah! Let's do it!" The Devil looks a bit surprised. "For real?" "For real!" is Sam's rather-too-enthusiastic response. "In fact, you know what? Forget the drink. Let's do something crazy!" May I interject at this point and say that this is when I start suspecting that's it's Sam who's playing with his favorite toy this time? He's switched roles with the Devil, and it's quite amusing to watch the Devil get more and more stony as Sam goes on and on about potential hedonistic activities for the night.
Sam continues with his out-of-character bonding suggestions: "Let's hit up some clubs! Maybe an after party?" This finally breaks the camel's back and the Devil stomps on the brakes, bringing them to a screeching halt. "What is the deal, huh? I thought I was the one who was supposed to want to have the fun, and you were supposed to be all pouty and complaining?" Heh. Sam's finally hit upon the secret formula to get the Devil off his back: Be in a fantastic mood whenever he's around. The Devil really is afraid of the super-friendly, isn't he? BTW, how Bret delivers the line "Hey, you wanna go to Vegas? That would be awesome!" is freaking hilarious.
Since Sam's taken all the fun out of the Devil's fun, he begs off and kicks Sam out of the car. "I'm just not feeling it anymore." Sam jumps out, and leans in the open window. He cheerfully thanks the Devil for the ride. To where? The end of the parking lot? Faster than a Ferrari can go 0 to 60 mph, the Devil goes from annoyed to super angry and gives the Creepiest. Speech. Ever - even more than the previous one he gave back in the warehouse about his progeny.
"I think I was wrong about you, Sam. You're not a dud at all. You don't even know what you're capable of. What evil will come your way. What terrible things you will do in my bidding. I look forward to a long and fruitful relationship, Sammy. You go ahead and enjoy your life while you can. Because one of these days, you're mine."
Honestly, I think truer words have never come out of the Devil's mouth, especially the part where Sam is unaware of what he's capable of. And between this scene, and the "you're not special" scene, might I just say that I got the overwhelming feeling throughout this entire episode that the Devil seems to doth protest too much. It's almost like he's afraid of Sam's New Hope-ful attitude, Sam's perceptiveness about their "special relationship", and the implications of both regarding the contract and Sam's continued role as his "employee", so he must smack it down at all costs. Sam must not question the status quo - whatever that is at the time - which is entirely in line with the Devil's former "forget about the contract!" shenanigans back in "Magic". There do seem to be clues IMO that there's a Bigger Truth here than that Sam is simply one of the Devil's many children, or whether he's even Devil Spawn at all. Time will tell if this is the case.
BTW, the creepy speech doesn't faze Sam at all, who now has a smirk on his face which convinces me even further that the over-enthusiasm seen earlier in the car was nothing more than him playing with the Devil. He does a "you're the best" gesture towards the Devil as he turns and walks away. "You have a good night too!" The Devil gets even more sulky and yells, "Just for that I'm going to make it rain!" Cue thunder and a complete downpour. Huh. The Devil can make it rain? I did not know that. He must spend a lot of time being pissed at the Pacific Northwest.
Again, Sam doesn't care he's now drenched to the bone. "Hey! It's cool! I love this weather!" Not saying much, considering as a Washingtonian he's rather obliged to say that or suffer an umbrella beatdown. We are fierce here in the Northwest. Channeling his inner six-year-old, Sam runs across the parking lot and jumps in the biggest puddle he can find.
Thus endeth Episode 201. Blue's grade: A- What's yours?