Life after paradise
Well i am back from my amazing vacation in mexico. I dont even think that i can explain the experience that i have had...it was that great. picture this: blue waters, sandy beaches, palm trees, drinks,clubs, my own personal waiter.. oh it was what i had always pictured it to be; trust me i did not want to come back. BUT i had to come back to my boring life and all of its problems.it is funny for a moment there i had forgotten that there were problems that i had left at home, problems that i have yet to come to any conclusions for. there are my friends and their shit and my work and their shit it almost seems as if it is not all worth it.
for example.. i had been back from mexico for about 2-3 hours and i was making my rounds dropping off presEnts to all or most of my friends. I get to tommy, joel, and ryans house; i walk in and my hair was braided (that is the cool thing to do when you go to mexico)i was in that house for only 2 seconds and i started catching shit from everyone there. (i think you have to know that these guys are close to the most raciest people i have ever met.) they were saying unnecessary shit about how i look like i am black now and they cant hang out with black people or that i look like i should be smoking weed with Bob Marley ect. ect. they thought all of this inexcusable badgering was so funny. as i stormed out i felt like total shit. it was as if they were attacking me and i had to defend myself the whole time that i was in there. and now that i come to think about it, it is like that all of the time, i am always defending and their always attacking. why do i keep putting myself in this same situation??? i am not stupid or maybe i am, but i dont know how to get myself out of this cycle. do i tell them for the 500th time to stop or do i just stop talking to them all together?? i just wish that they could change and grow the hell up. BUT in the mean time i am still left completely lost. i dont want to be mean or rude, but things cant stay like the are right now. i need an answer...
p.s. i passed my level III test.. hahaha i can rule now! :o)
for example.. i had been back from mexico for about 2-3 hours and i was making my rounds dropping off presEnts to all or most of my friends. I get to tommy, joel, and ryans house; i walk in and my hair was braided (that is the cool thing to do when you go to mexico)i was in that house for only 2 seconds and i started catching shit from everyone there. (i think you have to know that these guys are close to the most raciest people i have ever met.) they were saying unnecessary shit about how i look like i am black now and they cant hang out with black people or that i look like i should be smoking weed with Bob Marley ect. ect. they thought all of this inexcusable badgering was so funny. as i stormed out i felt like total shit. it was as if they were attacking me and i had to defend myself the whole time that i was in there. and now that i come to think about it, it is like that all of the time, i am always defending and their always attacking. why do i keep putting myself in this same situation??? i am not stupid or maybe i am, but i dont know how to get myself out of this cycle. do i tell them for the 500th time to stop or do i just stop talking to them all together?? i just wish that they could change and grow the hell up. BUT in the mean time i am still left completely lost. i dont want to be mean or rude, but things cant stay like the are right now. i need an answer...
p.s. i passed my level III test.. hahaha i can rule now! :o)