(no subject)
I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed nowadays. Especially today.
School is crazy, and I don't know how i'm going to pass everything that I'm registered for. These are my important major classes. There is no room for failure, or even mild slip ups. I can't ignore things, I can't skip studying, I shouldn't even procrastinate, because no matter what, there's still more work to be done. I don't know what to say to try and make myself feel better. Yes, I used to take hardcore science classes, so these little education things should be super easy. Except, they aren't super easy. I'm working myself crazy and I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much at all. Part of it is teh fact that I still try to procrastinate while I should be working... like now, I'm writing this instead of my "what i see myself doing in 5 years paper"
How the hell should I konw what I'll be doing in 5 years? The romantic in me says hopefully I'll be married, maybe have a baby, and just kinda chill out by the house being a happy housewife. I truly wonder how long that would last with me. I don't know how long I could stand to stay cooped up in the house, knowing that my only other contact with the world was Jeremy. I mean, I do love him but staying home to cook his supper also sounds overwhelming.
I'm head over heels for that guy and I don't know what to do about it either. Ive been invoved with other people and even thought that i loved greg for a stretch, but this is different. Things just always work out with us. I feel like there's something smiling at us, whether its God or Fate or Fortune or whatever... Something says that things will work out and be absolutely wonderful. But what if they arent? What if there is something going on with Bex that I don't know about. What if he really does have feelings for her that he keeps from me? I cna't help but be jealous of her, especially when he is so protective of me. He worrieds too much and is smothering me with his concern. I can handle myself around Reid, I promise him. It's not enough and that bothers m.e
I got fired from Sam's Club and now I have no income, aside from Alexa's rent check. Cary is going to check into things and call me Monday, but that's not the best news either. I'm scheduled to come in on Wednesday at 3:30, but I have class until 5. I can't skip chorus, b/c it is an entirely attendance based course. Plus, they shouldn't have the power in my life that takes me out of class just so that I can go suffer in a horrid room with people who probably hate me by now b/c i havent been in to work in about a week. oh wlel. to hell with them.
wish i could get a job at publix. the new one i found is so close to the condo. it would make life so easy. i could work there a couple nights a week and maybe like... fridays, or something. it wouldnt be so bad, and its closer and with people. i miss wokring around the public. being shut up in the bakery sucks.
also, jeremy is causing me to rework lots of htings in my life. i'm not sure how i feel about that. i worry about working on weekends b/c he will want to see me. but, on the other hand, if i have no job i have no money to see him with either. i dont know what to do! it's so difficult to date him while he is 3 hours away. yes, we talk on the phone all the time, and we're both becoming texting fiends, but still... that's just not enough. i wish that he was here, and i know its selfish but i cant help it. i want him out of that house, i want him up here. not living with me, but very close by. i couldnt stand living with him right yet. idk if i ever could stand living witha guy, but i guess i will eventually...
i wonder if he worries about any of this.
i know that school is my top priority. i'm doing everything i can to keep this on top, but right after school I rank Jeremy above work and other friends. I don't know what that says about me, and I'm almost sure most people are mad at me about this distinction, but I feel as though they can get over it.
I dont know what I accomplished by this rant... but i feel a little better? almost?
School is crazy, and I don't know how i'm going to pass everything that I'm registered for. These are my important major classes. There is no room for failure, or even mild slip ups. I can't ignore things, I can't skip studying, I shouldn't even procrastinate, because no matter what, there's still more work to be done. I don't know what to say to try and make myself feel better. Yes, I used to take hardcore science classes, so these little education things should be super easy. Except, they aren't super easy. I'm working myself crazy and I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much at all. Part of it is teh fact that I still try to procrastinate while I should be working... like now, I'm writing this instead of my "what i see myself doing in 5 years paper"
How the hell should I konw what I'll be doing in 5 years? The romantic in me says hopefully I'll be married, maybe have a baby, and just kinda chill out by the house being a happy housewife. I truly wonder how long that would last with me. I don't know how long I could stand to stay cooped up in the house, knowing that my only other contact with the world was Jeremy. I mean, I do love him but staying home to cook his supper also sounds overwhelming.
I'm head over heels for that guy and I don't know what to do about it either. Ive been invoved with other people and even thought that i loved greg for a stretch, but this is different. Things just always work out with us. I feel like there's something smiling at us, whether its God or Fate or Fortune or whatever... Something says that things will work out and be absolutely wonderful. But what if they arent? What if there is something going on with Bex that I don't know about. What if he really does have feelings for her that he keeps from me? I cna't help but be jealous of her, especially when he is so protective of me. He worrieds too much and is smothering me with his concern. I can handle myself around Reid, I promise him. It's not enough and that bothers m.e
I got fired from Sam's Club and now I have no income, aside from Alexa's rent check. Cary is going to check into things and call me Monday, but that's not the best news either. I'm scheduled to come in on Wednesday at 3:30, but I have class until 5. I can't skip chorus, b/c it is an entirely attendance based course. Plus, they shouldn't have the power in my life that takes me out of class just so that I can go suffer in a horrid room with people who probably hate me by now b/c i havent been in to work in about a week. oh wlel. to hell with them.
wish i could get a job at publix. the new one i found is so close to the condo. it would make life so easy. i could work there a couple nights a week and maybe like... fridays, or something. it wouldnt be so bad, and its closer and with people. i miss wokring around the public. being shut up in the bakery sucks.
also, jeremy is causing me to rework lots of htings in my life. i'm not sure how i feel about that. i worry about working on weekends b/c he will want to see me. but, on the other hand, if i have no job i have no money to see him with either. i dont know what to do! it's so difficult to date him while he is 3 hours away. yes, we talk on the phone all the time, and we're both becoming texting fiends, but still... that's just not enough. i wish that he was here, and i know its selfish but i cant help it. i want him out of that house, i want him up here. not living with me, but very close by. i couldnt stand living with him right yet. idk if i ever could stand living witha guy, but i guess i will eventually...
i wonder if he worries about any of this.
i know that school is my top priority. i'm doing everything i can to keep this on top, but right after school I rank Jeremy above work and other friends. I don't know what that says about me, and I'm almost sure most people are mad at me about this distinction, but I feel as though they can get over it.
I dont know what I accomplished by this rant... but i feel a little better? almost?