(no subject)
I made a couple of huge mistakes a few nights ago. If I dwell on them, I allow myself to sink lower and lower into the depression that has already been closing around me, well... since that night. If I ignore them, then I don't feel as if I'm being honest with myself. If I consider those flaws as an integral part of my personality, I have no way to argue against the numerous and angry accusations that were leveled at me earlier tonight. I know that I'm not a horrible person usually.
I have a good heart.
I love my friends
I do what I can for people
I always try to forgive and forget.
When I say I'm done with something, I am.
I don't like drinking smoking or screwing around.
Lately, you wouldn't know any of that from my behavior. I've changed, I've noticed it, and someone else close to me has too. Even before the fateful night took place. I'm not happy with these changes, and I made my first move towards being a better person tonight. I came clean about something that I could have easily hid. It was a long, drawn out, and painful experience. Most certainly one of the most horrible nights of my life, thus far. Yet now that its over, I'm less shaken up that I would have expected to be. If nothing else, I know that I'm not ever going to end up back with him.
And everything happens for a reason, right?
I have a good heart.
I love my friends
I do what I can for people
I always try to forgive and forget.
When I say I'm done with something, I am.
I don't like drinking smoking or screwing around.
Lately, you wouldn't know any of that from my behavior. I've changed, I've noticed it, and someone else close to me has too. Even before the fateful night took place. I'm not happy with these changes, and I made my first move towards being a better person tonight. I came clean about something that I could have easily hid. It was a long, drawn out, and painful experience. Most certainly one of the most horrible nights of my life, thus far. Yet now that its over, I'm less shaken up that I would have expected to be. If nothing else, I know that I'm not ever going to end up back with him.
And everything happens for a reason, right?