(no subject)
It was a bad idea from the
beginning. And I suppose I knew that, but
being the optimist that I am (at times) I thought a chance for good
times was possible. Back in November/December my brother Eric began
asking when I would come visit him in frozen Pennyslvania. Remembering
my last trip up there I thought to myself, no time soon! But being a
swell guy (and I am) I went ahead and told him that I just couldn't
afford it. Which was true. My brother is jobless and plays internet
poker all day. I told him that if he had a big win and flew us up
there, I would go. We can call this mistake number one.
Eric had several big wins in December, about $17,000 worth. And in his
shopping spree that included a giant LCD television, lots of DVDs, and
fancy poker table he also managed to by me, Jessica, and Alexa plane
tickets. Eric is married to Renee who gets migranes and goes from calm
to REALLY annoyed in a matter of seconds. Jessica knew that this would
be a problem. Hell I knew it too. Flying in was just fine. Alexa was
excited to see snow and I was sorta excited. Eric had made plans for us
to drive up to Niagara Falls. Should be fun. Right? Sat night we land
in Pittsburgh and Renee picks us up. Eric is at a nearby Dave and
Buster's wathcing the Jets-Steelers game. Renee then gets lost in the
area that she has lived in most of her life. This would happen again
and again. On Sunday it snowed and Alexa played in it all day. It was
cold. Very cold for a guy who's been in Florida since 1982. My body and
skin have become extremely fragile and you'd think I would have thought
of this before hand. So when my lips split in two places and my ears
followed suit, it really shouldn't have been a problem. But it was. I
felt awful and my skin cracked all over. Eyelids, eyebrows, forehead,
cheecks. All looked like the desert, cracked to hell. And then I
realized that I wasn't breathing right.
Being someone with asthema there are a few things I cannot do.
Apparently spend time at Eric's place should be on the list. He has two
dogs and I'm gonna take a wild guess that the tightness in my chest had
something to do with them. But before I get to that I should mention
mistake number two. Saturday night Eric broke out the poker table and I
broke into an allergic reaction in my right eye. It swelled up like a
golfball. Still I soldiered on and played cards until I noticed that
Jessica had too many Smirnoff's. Not stopping her would be mistake
number two. Jessica got drunker than she's ever been in her life. This
session of drunkness included mocking me, making fun of my giant
eyeball, and telling my brother and his wife that when she is drunk she
hates me. I went to bed early and looked forward to rubbing her
obnoxious behavior in the next morning. But that never happened. See,
after I went to bed, she kept drinking. And after everyone went to bed
she puked all over the living room. I didn't see it, but apparently it
was quite a lof of vomit. And she was too drunk to clean it. After
being completely embarrassed the next morning Jessica did not drink the
rest of the trip and probably won't ever again.
By the time Tuesday rolled around I couldn't wait to get to Canada. The
house was killing me slowly with it's dog dander and moody wife running
things. We did do some sledding that day and it was a lot of fun. And
then we drove to Canada which was not a lot of fun. For some reason
January in Canada doesn't sound like a good idea except to us. Mistake
number three.
Eric had booked us in at the Hilton but was annoyed when he realized it
was the Sheridan he wanted. The Hilton itself was a swell place. But
there were very few people around, wonder why. Maybe since it was
January in Canada. Still, things there had their advantages. For one, I
could breathe. Two, there was a casino literally across the street for
me loss money at. Which I did. I also froze myself standing next to the
falls, and watch in horror as my child started to climb on the railing.
She also tried to stick her tongue on to the railing as well. We were
able to catch her both times.
Canada provided a few good times. But everything was closed by 10
except the casino. And taking children to casinos is considered not
good parenting I think. So entertainment was kept to going around and
laughing at Canadian culture in a supermarket, it was very American of
us. But you go ahead and not laugh at imitation Oreo's called "Eat the
Middle First!" Going back to Pennsylvania was a drag. A long car ride.
My skin was still cracked and getting worse and now the breathing was
going to be an adventure as well. We did manage to mix in an evening of
fun in Pittsburgh (dinner and a movie). So it wasn't high living, but
really anything at that point was good. There was some sliding on
roads, some arguments with Renee and Eric, more sledding (more of me
falling in snow and then hiding in the car). It was decent at best.
Jessica was in a horrible mood for the first few days but then cheered
up a bit. Now she looks back at our frozen adventure and thinks it was
a good time. I started to wonder if she had anymore drinks. Now back in
Florida and it's still not warm. It was 45 when I got here, but has now
reached the 70s. I have a nasty beard since I didn't shave once, opting
instead for a scraggly beard to keep my face warm. The skin is going
back to normal, slowly but surely. Back work people tell me they missed
me and other assorted lies. I've already been ignored in conversations!
And I'm ready for another trip. To
Las Vegas.