When Ryeowook Goes on Strike
Title: When Ryeowook Goes on Strike
Pairing: slight!MinWook
Genre: Friendship/Slight!Fail!Crack; Bandfic
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Do not own them. :( Only the plot.
Summary: Ryeowook has always been the neutral guy in the family to solve any dispute. One day he just decided he had enough and went on strike.
Beta: paradigm_twist
A/N: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. paradigm_twist ’s prompt (Neutral) this week made my brain fried. I suggest you skip reading this because YES, it’s THAT bad.
----
“… THE FUCK?! YOU THINK IT’S OKAY TO DO THAT?!”
Ryeowook winced. It was just like any other day. Another argument had decided to randomly erupt and disrupt the nice, relax, beautiful, quiet morning in Super Junior’s dorm. He walked out from the kitchen, away from the breakfast he was preparing and found Heechul and Kangin in the middle of a quarrel, hurling daggers at each other in every word they uttered.
“WHAT?! Like I would want to get anywhere near your stuff.” Kangin rolled his eyes and made sure Heechul saw it.
The other members had woken up from the commotion and gathered around them . They could only watch because they all knew it was better to not come in between any argument between these two particular members. If they got themselves involved, chances are they would probably lose a limb or two.
Ryeowook wanted to stuff his ears with marshmallows. The dorm lady who always took care of them was away for the week so Ryeowook’s work has just doubled and he would REALLY appreciate it if there were zero chances of any domestic violence going on between the members.
He walked up fearlessly and somewhat exasperated, between the two and patted both their backs. “Stop it Kangin-hyung, Heechul-hyung. I’ll make you both ddeobokki if you guys promise to settle this down nicely.” He said with a smile.
Normally, that was how Ryeowook would resolve any conflicts and disputes in the house. After all, he wasn't the Switzerland in the group for nothing. He wasn’t vain enough to say that the food he made was beyond-this-world delicious. But he had to secretly admit, the food did have some sort of magical elements that could calm down his hyungs most of the time.
Apparently, this was one of those rare times that food couldn't placate his hyungs. He was completely ignored by both his hyungs.
Heechul started pushing Kangin, demanding an apology. Kangin groaned. Ryeowook tried to pull them both apart before it turned into a fist fight when he was suddenly bodily thrown aside and felt a sharp pain as he fell with a sickening thud to the ground.
“OWH!” Everyone rushed over to see if Ryeowook was hurt but all of them were distracted by the unexpected flame of anger flashing in his eyes. Ryeowook stood up and glared at Kangin and Heechul.
“That IS IT HYUNG. I’ve had enough. I’m going on a strike.” Ryeowook stomped back into his room and slammed the door hard behind him. The other members were left flabbergasted in the living room, glancing at each other in wide-eyed surprise.
The eternal magnae had finally snapped.
***
The following days ahead felt like a living hell for the family.
Ryeowook had stopped helping out with the chores. Stopped cooking. Stopped being a mediator between the members who got into quarrels. It was as if he had became mute.
When Eunhyuk grumbled about the lack of food on the table when dinner time came rolling around, he could hear Ryeowook murmuring from the living room, “Order take-outs hyung. Or just cook dinner yourself.”
And so he did. In the end, the kitchen was trashed beyond recognition and everyone including Eunhyuk had to spend the entire night cleaning up the mess Eunhyuk made......
.......while Ryeowook could be heard sleeping soundly; snoring in his room.
***
The next day, Donghae came charging into Ryeowook’s room looking a little frightened. Ryeowook ignored him and instead remained focused on the book he was reading.
“Ryeowookie! COME QUICK! Shindong hyung and Heechul hyung are arguing and Heechul hyung is threatening to grab a knife from the kitchen to dismember Shindong-hyung!"
Ryeowook just stared blankly at Donghae being all panicky, all the while wearing indifferent expression on his face.
“Well,” He cleared his throat. “I hope that when I finish this book that I’m reading, Shindong hyung would still have his arms and legs firmly attached to him.”
Donghae thought he had sands in his ear when he heard these words coming right out from his dongsaeng’s mouth. But before he could reply, he heard a shout from outside and he dash back to the living room, to make sure there was no bloodshed.
***
A few days later, Leeteuk was looking for his lucky pair of white Calvin Klein underwear as he couldn't find it anywhere in his room. He went to his dongsaengs for help but only got unhelpful responses from his dongsaengs.
“I bet you left it in Kangin’s room.” Kyuhyun said, without looking up from his computer screen.
“Check the laundry.” Hangeng suggested.
“Want my turtles to sniff it out for you?” Yesung offered. Leeteuk frowned. He did not even want to know if Yesung was actually being serious about his offer or not.
Leeteuk was scratching his head in confusion, trying to remember if he misplaced it, when Ryeowook stretched and yawned from the sofa where he was curled up comfortably at, “You do know Henry isn't called the underwear thief for nothing right?”
A look of horror spread across the leader’s face as Ryeowook got up and went into his room without turning his head around, ignoring the awful cry that came after.
***
Ryeowook went home the following day and found an infuriated Heechul with green hair.
“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT’S OKAY TO LEAVE YOUR NEWLY BOUGHT HAIR DYE SHAMPOO IN THE BATHROOM?” Heechul yelled at a cowering Donghae.
“H-Hyung, I just wanted to try the new product out. I thought I bought red. Not green.” Donghae stuttered.
“The stupid shampoo bottle clearly stated green. You need to take a fucking eye test.” Heechul stared at himself in the mirror and felt the sudden urge to shave his hair off. Eunhyuk tried to console the now crying Donghae.
“Great. Now I look like a stinking pile of grass.” Heechul groused, poking his hair.
“… More like weeds.” Kyuhyun snickered, while whispering to Siwon a little too loudly and found himself scrambling for his life the very next second as Heechul started running after him, threatening with all sorts of torture that he would test out on the evil magnae when he caught hold of him.
Everyone tried to put a stop to the chaos. Ryeowook, however, did nothing but took a refreshing bath while the loud commotion went on outside the bathroom.
***
This went on for two weeks. By then, the boys had finally acknowledged how important Ryeowook's role was as the neutral kid in the family. Without him, chores were piling up sky high; conflicts never seemed to be resolved and instead seemed to tripled in intensity and occurrence. Things were starting to get out of hand because any fight in the dorms were stopped almost instantly by Ryeowook. But these days, it seemed that the fights just went on until everyone were yanking their hair out of frustration; trying almost desperately to figure out how to resolve them.
They decided collectively to put an end to the strike the eternal magnae was having.
Siwon tried talking sense into Ryeowook but only got a shoulder covered in icicles in response.
Yesung went into his room with a tray of homemade goodies, ranging from freshly baked muffins to delicious kimchi fried rice, hoping to use food as a bribe to put out the fire in Ryeowook.
Ryeowook just gulped down everything and asked Yesung to either leave or bring in another batch.
The next was Donghae. He tried waterworks. He begged Ryeowook to come back so that this hell would end but Ryeowook only handed him tissues and told him he looked horrible when he cried.
Eunhyuk offered his place as the lead dancer of the group to Ryeowook but was rejected harshly.
You’re not being serious are you Hyukjae hyung?
Was too bloody desperate. Eunhyuk could only say in response.
Kyuhyun attempted another offer. “How about if I lose to you in Starcraft for a month?”
“I can beat the freaking daylights out of you if I wanted to.” Ryeowook lied through his teeth. He was clearly not backing down.
Sungmin was the only one who dragged him back into his room and tried to find out what was the reason for the eternal magnae's strike.
“Ryeowookie, this strike is turning into a bigger deal than I’ve expected.” Sungmin said, sounding really worried.
“…”
“You know you can talk to me right?”
The eternal magnae sighed in exasperation. “I’m just tired hyung. Like REALLY exhausted. I've never mind doing anything for all of you. I LOVE to cook. I love it when I’m able to take care of you guys because all of you are like family to me.”
Sungmin squeezed his hand and nodded.
“It’s just lately. The fights between all of us have been erupting more frequently. Seeing you guys fight really hurts me. I know it’s unavoidable because there are so many of us. But sometimes, it’s just too much for a person to take ya know?”
Sungmin grinned. “What can we do? You have to know there’s a Kim Heechul living with us.”
That brought a smile that was slowly lighting up Ryeowook’s face.
Before Ryeowook could thank Sungmin, they heard loud knocks banging on the room door. Ryeowook thought their eardrums were about to explode from the sheer intensity of the knocks.
“Ryeowookie!” The eternal magnae could hear the desperate cries behind the door. It was Siwon and Eunhyuk. “Heechul hyung and Kyuhyunnie are at it this time!”
Ryeowook shook his head wistfully and wondered if a day will come when he could have a nice peaceful day in the Super Junior’s dorm; without a single dispute exploding every hour or so.
“Kyuhyun played a prank on Heechul hyung. He hid his iPhone away from him and claimed that he traded it for some magic beans! Now Heechul hyung has gone bollocks. You have to stop Heechul-hyung!!”
Sungmin ruffled Ryeowook’s hair. “So you’re gonna do your job or what?”
Before Ryeowook could reply, Donghae’s voice could suddenly be heard behind the door. “Ryeowookie! Heechul hyung said if you don't get your butt out to the living room right now, he's going to kiss you in our next concert for fan service!!”
Sungmin cringed at that threat, recalling his own nightmares and nudged the horrified eternal magnae beside him. Ryeowook scurried over to the living room at the speed of light because he did not want to have his reputation tarnished by getting a kiss from Kim Heechul on their next Super Show.
But as he ran, he couldn’t help but laughed. Our family sure worked at its best when it’s all dysfunctional.
----
A/N 2: Please shoot me. This is my most fail fic ever to date. SORRY, I wrote it in a hurry just for the sake of meeting my deadline. Exams are just around the corner for me, gotta start slogging for it. OTL
GO HERE for paradigm_twist 's gorgeous gorgeous EunHae fic! :) FINALLY I GOT HER TO WRITE EUNHAE! 8D
Pairing: slight!MinWook
Genre: Friendship/Slight!Fail!Crack; Bandfic
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Do not own them. :( Only the plot.
Summary: Ryeowook has always been the neutral guy in the family to solve any dispute. One day he just decided he had enough and went on strike.
Beta: paradigm_twist
A/N: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. paradigm_twist ’s prompt (Neutral) this week made my brain fried. I suggest you skip reading this because YES, it’s THAT bad.
----
“… THE FUCK?! YOU THINK IT’S OKAY TO DO THAT?!”
Ryeowook winced. It was just like any other day. Another argument had decided to randomly erupt and disrupt the nice, relax, beautiful, quiet morning in Super Junior’s dorm. He walked out from the kitchen, away from the breakfast he was preparing and found Heechul and Kangin in the middle of a quarrel, hurling daggers at each other in every word they uttered.
“WHAT?! Like I would want to get anywhere near your stuff.” Kangin rolled his eyes and made sure Heechul saw it.
The other members had woken up from the commotion and gathered around them . They could only watch because they all knew it was better to not come in between any argument between these two particular members. If they got themselves involved, chances are they would probably lose a limb or two.
Ryeowook wanted to stuff his ears with marshmallows. The dorm lady who always took care of them was away for the week so Ryeowook’s work has just doubled and he would REALLY appreciate it if there were zero chances of any domestic violence going on between the members.
He walked up fearlessly and somewhat exasperated, between the two and patted both their backs. “Stop it Kangin-hyung, Heechul-hyung. I’ll make you both ddeobokki if you guys promise to settle this down nicely.” He said with a smile.
Normally, that was how Ryeowook would resolve any conflicts and disputes in the house. After all, he wasn't the Switzerland in the group for nothing. He wasn’t vain enough to say that the food he made was beyond-this-world delicious. But he had to secretly admit, the food did have some sort of magical elements that could calm down his hyungs most of the time.
Apparently, this was one of those rare times that food couldn't placate his hyungs. He was completely ignored by both his hyungs.
Heechul started pushing Kangin, demanding an apology. Kangin groaned. Ryeowook tried to pull them both apart before it turned into a fist fight when he was suddenly bodily thrown aside and felt a sharp pain as he fell with a sickening thud to the ground.
“OWH!” Everyone rushed over to see if Ryeowook was hurt but all of them were distracted by the unexpected flame of anger flashing in his eyes. Ryeowook stood up and glared at Kangin and Heechul.
“That IS IT HYUNG. I’ve had enough. I’m going on a strike.” Ryeowook stomped back into his room and slammed the door hard behind him. The other members were left flabbergasted in the living room, glancing at each other in wide-eyed surprise.
The eternal magnae had finally snapped.
***
The following days ahead felt like a living hell for the family.
Ryeowook had stopped helping out with the chores. Stopped cooking. Stopped being a mediator between the members who got into quarrels. It was as if he had became mute.
When Eunhyuk grumbled about the lack of food on the table when dinner time came rolling around, he could hear Ryeowook murmuring from the living room, “Order take-outs hyung. Or just cook dinner yourself.”
And so he did. In the end, the kitchen was trashed beyond recognition and everyone including Eunhyuk had to spend the entire night cleaning up the mess Eunhyuk made......
.......while Ryeowook could be heard sleeping soundly; snoring in his room.
***
The next day, Donghae came charging into Ryeowook’s room looking a little frightened. Ryeowook ignored him and instead remained focused on the book he was reading.
“Ryeowookie! COME QUICK! Shindong hyung and Heechul hyung are arguing and Heechul hyung is threatening to grab a knife from the kitchen to dismember Shindong-hyung!"
Ryeowook just stared blankly at Donghae being all panicky, all the while wearing indifferent expression on his face.
“Well,” He cleared his throat. “I hope that when I finish this book that I’m reading, Shindong hyung would still have his arms and legs firmly attached to him.”
Donghae thought he had sands in his ear when he heard these words coming right out from his dongsaeng’s mouth. But before he could reply, he heard a shout from outside and he dash back to the living room, to make sure there was no bloodshed.
***
A few days later, Leeteuk was looking for his lucky pair of white Calvin Klein underwear as he couldn't find it anywhere in his room. He went to his dongsaengs for help but only got unhelpful responses from his dongsaengs.
“I bet you left it in Kangin’s room.” Kyuhyun said, without looking up from his computer screen.
“Check the laundry.” Hangeng suggested.
“Want my turtles to sniff it out for you?” Yesung offered. Leeteuk frowned. He did not even want to know if Yesung was actually being serious about his offer or not.
Leeteuk was scratching his head in confusion, trying to remember if he misplaced it, when Ryeowook stretched and yawned from the sofa where he was curled up comfortably at, “You do know Henry isn't called the underwear thief for nothing right?”
A look of horror spread across the leader’s face as Ryeowook got up and went into his room without turning his head around, ignoring the awful cry that came after.
***
Ryeowook went home the following day and found an infuriated Heechul with green hair.
“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT’S OKAY TO LEAVE YOUR NEWLY BOUGHT HAIR DYE SHAMPOO IN THE BATHROOM?” Heechul yelled at a cowering Donghae.
“H-Hyung, I just wanted to try the new product out. I thought I bought red. Not green.” Donghae stuttered.
“The stupid shampoo bottle clearly stated green. You need to take a fucking eye test.” Heechul stared at himself in the mirror and felt the sudden urge to shave his hair off. Eunhyuk tried to console the now crying Donghae.
“Great. Now I look like a stinking pile of grass.” Heechul groused, poking his hair.
“… More like weeds.” Kyuhyun snickered, while whispering to Siwon a little too loudly and found himself scrambling for his life the very next second as Heechul started running after him, threatening with all sorts of torture that he would test out on the evil magnae when he caught hold of him.
Everyone tried to put a stop to the chaos. Ryeowook, however, did nothing but took a refreshing bath while the loud commotion went on outside the bathroom.
***
This went on for two weeks. By then, the boys had finally acknowledged how important Ryeowook's role was as the neutral kid in the family. Without him, chores were piling up sky high; conflicts never seemed to be resolved and instead seemed to tripled in intensity and occurrence. Things were starting to get out of hand because any fight in the dorms were stopped almost instantly by Ryeowook. But these days, it seemed that the fights just went on until everyone were yanking their hair out of frustration; trying almost desperately to figure out how to resolve them.
They decided collectively to put an end to the strike the eternal magnae was having.
Siwon tried talking sense into Ryeowook but only got a shoulder covered in icicles in response.
Yesung went into his room with a tray of homemade goodies, ranging from freshly baked muffins to delicious kimchi fried rice, hoping to use food as a bribe to put out the fire in Ryeowook.
Ryeowook just gulped down everything and asked Yesung to either leave or bring in another batch.
The next was Donghae. He tried waterworks. He begged Ryeowook to come back so that this hell would end but Ryeowook only handed him tissues and told him he looked horrible when he cried.
Eunhyuk offered his place as the lead dancer of the group to Ryeowook but was rejected harshly.
You’re not being serious are you Hyukjae hyung?
Was too bloody desperate. Eunhyuk could only say in response.
Kyuhyun attempted another offer. “How about if I lose to you in Starcraft for a month?”
“I can beat the freaking daylights out of you if I wanted to.” Ryeowook lied through his teeth. He was clearly not backing down.
Sungmin was the only one who dragged him back into his room and tried to find out what was the reason for the eternal magnae's strike.
“Ryeowookie, this strike is turning into a bigger deal than I’ve expected.” Sungmin said, sounding really worried.
“…”
“You know you can talk to me right?”
The eternal magnae sighed in exasperation. “I’m just tired hyung. Like REALLY exhausted. I've never mind doing anything for all of you. I LOVE to cook. I love it when I’m able to take care of you guys because all of you are like family to me.”
Sungmin squeezed his hand and nodded.
“It’s just lately. The fights between all of us have been erupting more frequently. Seeing you guys fight really hurts me. I know it’s unavoidable because there are so many of us. But sometimes, it’s just too much for a person to take ya know?”
Sungmin grinned. “What can we do? You have to know there’s a Kim Heechul living with us.”
That brought a smile that was slowly lighting up Ryeowook’s face.
Before Ryeowook could thank Sungmin, they heard loud knocks banging on the room door. Ryeowook thought their eardrums were about to explode from the sheer intensity of the knocks.
“Ryeowookie!” The eternal magnae could hear the desperate cries behind the door. It was Siwon and Eunhyuk. “Heechul hyung and Kyuhyunnie are at it this time!”
Ryeowook shook his head wistfully and wondered if a day will come when he could have a nice peaceful day in the Super Junior’s dorm; without a single dispute exploding every hour or so.
“Kyuhyun played a prank on Heechul hyung. He hid his iPhone away from him and claimed that he traded it for some magic beans! Now Heechul hyung has gone bollocks. You have to stop Heechul-hyung!!”
Sungmin ruffled Ryeowook’s hair. “So you’re gonna do your job or what?”
Before Ryeowook could reply, Donghae’s voice could suddenly be heard behind the door. “Ryeowookie! Heechul hyung said if you don't get your butt out to the living room right now, he's going to kiss you in our next concert for fan service!!”
Sungmin cringed at that threat, recalling his own nightmares and nudged the horrified eternal magnae beside him. Ryeowook scurried over to the living room at the speed of light because he did not want to have his reputation tarnished by getting a kiss from Kim Heechul on their next Super Show.
But as he ran, he couldn’t help but laughed. Our family sure worked at its best when it’s all dysfunctional.
----
A/N 2: Please shoot me. This is my most fail fic ever to date. SORRY, I wrote it in a hurry just for the sake of meeting my deadline. Exams are just around the corner for me, gotta start slogging for it. OTL
GO HERE for paradigm_twist 's gorgeous gorgeous EunHae fic! :) FINALLY I GOT HER TO WRITE EUNHAE! 8D