(no subject)
i read the entire book "the rule of four" today. let me tell you, it makes me feel entirely stupid. it brings me back to a time when i could speak eloquently and elegantly, using the vocab people wished they could have; and even better i actually knew what i was saying. it reminds me how smart people can be, how remote, and obscure, and blinded by learning that they forget the entire world outside. looking for the future in the past, ignoring their future that's right in front of their faces. it got my mind thinking in ways i didn't think possible after two years. (shall i recall a specific cheese and tongs incident?) sometimes i just wish i could be mentally brilliant or just amazing singularly in something special. i'm still looking.