Silence...
The Cop figured the Intruder out. I understand that now. "Adults" aren't all tied to some massive conspiracy to destroy Lovers and invoke some 1950's Stepford Hell on anyone under 25. I understand that now.
Some adults can be told the truth, can be reasoned with, can be made to understand the FACTS of a situation...or can they? I was a shy teenager. I never had to explain myself. Most Adults looked me over and quickly decided I was good, honest, trustworthy, sweet & innocent. I didn't talk much. My thoughts back then mostly echoed those things good, honest, trustworthy, sweet & innocent.
He was about the same but with the addition of all those football locker room teenage fantasy talks. Pictures of half-naked Farah Fawcett pinned to a bedroom wall is innocent teenage boy stuff.
He fled. He believed the same thing I did. Everyone was conspiring to END our Lives, Freedom, Love. Why us?
I stopped talking even when I could. I sat and stared at fish swimming in a water garden barrel for weeks. I stopped wearing contacts and hid behind huge ugly glasses. I borrowed my Mother's "fat" clothes and disappeared into a huge floral dress with a white collar. I stopped brushing my hair. I stopped wearing make-up. I stopped brushing my teeth. I stopped shaving my legs. I stopped bathing regularly. I was hiding every single remarkable thing about myself. Adults who just met me still noticed my perfect complexion and worked at kind makeovers.
I was silent, knowing there makeover would gain me approval among them. And I knew there makeover would get me snubbed by my school peers. I was hiding. I did not want to destroy what was left of me with small compromises. I wasn't rude enough to say that. I packed up those "Slytherin" habits like I packed up the black & gold dress.
When I started speaking again. I packed up my innocent "Slytherin" arrogance and started asking every sort of person questions about themselves. I grew up believing "diverse" means having a Methodist attend your school.
At school "diverse" meant allowing an off-brand logo-mark on a single izod because the "Slytherin" student claimed
"Yes, my Tailor custom made it! I wasn't sure about the Unicorn she hand-embroidered on. Do you think it's too young? My jeans are suppose to have only two seams not three?! I may have to fire her!"
That evening "MOM! STOP ironing on those little Unicorns! You find alligators or polo players! NO Unicorns! And STOP making me track suits!"
I stopped going to Church completely. I didn't lose God. I believed every adult over 25 that I knew was in on the conspiracy to create Hell on Earth; a Hell that makes slaves of youth who are talented, intelligent, or beautiful.
He plotted how to beat there blockade on life. He won. He won everything he ever wanted at that age and he was waiting on the porch for the door to open and the pink clad Princess to greet him smiling, like a video game. They could not stop him running there blockade. He won. He grabbed my hand and dragged me past the blockade. We were grinning. We ALL WON. They couldn't beat him. There control was an illusion. Our lives were our own. They could not keep us under there cultish thumb.
They had to CHEAT and LIE and STEAL from US and RAPE and MURDER and THREATEN to stop either of us from winning at LIFE! The ONLY control either of us had was LOVE. They don't want people self-controlled by Love. They want people enslaved by FEAR of THEM. The horror of it was that they perched in a Church using our words and phrasing.
The Intruder wasn't a random stranger stalking me. I didn't know him. He wasn't stalking me, he was stalking him.
"Who was the boy leaving tucking his shirt in?"
"A friend from university visiting me."
"You had sex with him."
"I got married to him he wants me to go back to him."
"You're an Adulteress!"
"No, I am not. I'm married to him."
"What's his name?"
"----------------------."
"You aren't married to him, you're married to the Artist."
"I got married to both of them."
"You're an adulterous!"
"No. I forgot I got married to him."
"You're not married to him."
"Yes I am. Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm doing this because you cheated."
"No I didn't."
"You're not married to him!"
"Yes, I am."
"Now, I'm your husband."
"No you're not. You look nothing like him!"
"You're right! I'm the boy who just left!"
"No your not!"
"Call me by his name!"
"No!"
"Call me by his name and I'll stop!"
"No! This is rape! You don't have the right to rape me!"
"Yes I do. You committed Adultery!"
"No you don't! You're going to go to Hell for doing this to me!"
"You're going to Hell for Adultery!"
"I didn't commit Adultery! Rape is worse anyway! You're going to Hell!"
"Call me by his name and I'll stop!"
"No. You aren't him!"
"I am him!"
"No you aren't! You're a tiny man!"
"Stop laughing! I'm your Husband! You're going to pay for laughing!"
"No you are not my husband! You look nothing like him! You don't have the right to do this to me! You are going to go to Hell! Stop! Please stop!"
"I'll give you half of anything I have if you don't shoot him!"
"I don't want what you have, I want what He's got!"
"I'll do whatever you want, don't shoot him!"
"I'm going to murder you and frame him. He is going to go to prison for life for YOUR Death!"
"I'll tell everybody about you!"
"No one will believe you even if I let you live!"
"Don't shoot him and I won't tell anyone!"
"I have his clothes in my trunk, to leave around your dead body."
"I'll tell everyone what you've done!"
"You're an adulteress, you deserve this."
"No I am not! That's a lie."
"If you never speak to him again I won't kill him."
"I swear."
"Say it!"
"I will never speak to him again."
"Stop crossing your fingers! You are going to Hell for lying!"
"No, I am not! Nothing sworn under duress is binding in any way on me! But I won't tell. Please don't shoot him!"
"You are going to regret him."
"I already do"
"You are going to pay for him."
"For what? You're doing this. You don't have the right to do this to me or him!"
"He is going to Marry my daughter."
"He's already married and knows it."
"You aren't married to him."
"Yes, I am."
"Consider this a Divorce."
"You can't Divorce us. You don't have the right! This is rape! You are going to go to Hell! You had better repent before you burn in Hell!"
"I'm going to kill you!"
"Maybe, but you're still going to Hell!"
Some adults can be told the truth, can be reasoned with, can be made to understand the FACTS of a situation...or can they? I was a shy teenager. I never had to explain myself. Most Adults looked me over and quickly decided I was good, honest, trustworthy, sweet & innocent. I didn't talk much. My thoughts back then mostly echoed those things good, honest, trustworthy, sweet & innocent.
He was about the same but with the addition of all those football locker room teenage fantasy talks. Pictures of half-naked Farah Fawcett pinned to a bedroom wall is innocent teenage boy stuff.
He fled. He believed the same thing I did. Everyone was conspiring to END our Lives, Freedom, Love. Why us?
I stopped talking even when I could. I sat and stared at fish swimming in a water garden barrel for weeks. I stopped wearing contacts and hid behind huge ugly glasses. I borrowed my Mother's "fat" clothes and disappeared into a huge floral dress with a white collar. I stopped brushing my hair. I stopped wearing make-up. I stopped brushing my teeth. I stopped shaving my legs. I stopped bathing regularly. I was hiding every single remarkable thing about myself. Adults who just met me still noticed my perfect complexion and worked at kind makeovers.
I was silent, knowing there makeover would gain me approval among them. And I knew there makeover would get me snubbed by my school peers. I was hiding. I did not want to destroy what was left of me with small compromises. I wasn't rude enough to say that. I packed up those "Slytherin" habits like I packed up the black & gold dress.
When I started speaking again. I packed up my innocent "Slytherin" arrogance and started asking every sort of person questions about themselves. I grew up believing "diverse" means having a Methodist attend your school.
At school "diverse" meant allowing an off-brand logo-mark on a single izod because the "Slytherin" student claimed
"Yes, my Tailor custom made it! I wasn't sure about the Unicorn she hand-embroidered on. Do you think it's too young? My jeans are suppose to have only two seams not three?! I may have to fire her!"
That evening "MOM! STOP ironing on those little Unicorns! You find alligators or polo players! NO Unicorns! And STOP making me track suits!"
I stopped going to Church completely. I didn't lose God. I believed every adult over 25 that I knew was in on the conspiracy to create Hell on Earth; a Hell that makes slaves of youth who are talented, intelligent, or beautiful.
He plotted how to beat there blockade on life. He won. He won everything he ever wanted at that age and he was waiting on the porch for the door to open and the pink clad Princess to greet him smiling, like a video game. They could not stop him running there blockade. He won. He grabbed my hand and dragged me past the blockade. We were grinning. We ALL WON. They couldn't beat him. There control was an illusion. Our lives were our own. They could not keep us under there cultish thumb.
They had to CHEAT and LIE and STEAL from US and RAPE and MURDER and THREATEN to stop either of us from winning at LIFE! The ONLY control either of us had was LOVE. They don't want people self-controlled by Love. They want people enslaved by FEAR of THEM. The horror of it was that they perched in a Church using our words and phrasing.
The Intruder wasn't a random stranger stalking me. I didn't know him. He wasn't stalking me, he was stalking him.
"Who was the boy leaving tucking his shirt in?"
"A friend from university visiting me."
"You had sex with him."
"I got married to him he wants me to go back to him."
"You're an Adulteress!"
"No, I am not. I'm married to him."
"What's his name?"
"----------------------."
"You aren't married to him, you're married to the Artist."
"I got married to both of them."
"You're an adulterous!"
"No. I forgot I got married to him."
"You're not married to him."
"Yes I am. Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm doing this because you cheated."
"No I didn't."
"You're not married to him!"
"Yes, I am."
"Now, I'm your husband."
"No you're not. You look nothing like him!"
"You're right! I'm the boy who just left!"
"No your not!"
"Call me by his name!"
"No!"
"Call me by his name and I'll stop!"
"No! This is rape! You don't have the right to rape me!"
"Yes I do. You committed Adultery!"
"No you don't! You're going to go to Hell for doing this to me!"
"You're going to Hell for Adultery!"
"I didn't commit Adultery! Rape is worse anyway! You're going to Hell!"
"Call me by his name and I'll stop!"
"No. You aren't him!"
"I am him!"
"No you aren't! You're a tiny man!"
"Stop laughing! I'm your Husband! You're going to pay for laughing!"
"No you are not my husband! You look nothing like him! You don't have the right to do this to me! You are going to go to Hell! Stop! Please stop!"
"I'll give you half of anything I have if you don't shoot him!"
"I don't want what you have, I want what He's got!"
"I'll do whatever you want, don't shoot him!"
"I'm going to murder you and frame him. He is going to go to prison for life for YOUR Death!"
"I'll tell everybody about you!"
"No one will believe you even if I let you live!"
"Don't shoot him and I won't tell anyone!"
"I have his clothes in my trunk, to leave around your dead body."
"I'll tell everyone what you've done!"
"You're an adulteress, you deserve this."
"No I am not! That's a lie."
"If you never speak to him again I won't kill him."
"I swear."
"Say it!"
"I will never speak to him again."
"Stop crossing your fingers! You are going to Hell for lying!"
"No, I am not! Nothing sworn under duress is binding in any way on me! But I won't tell. Please don't shoot him!"
"You are going to regret him."
"I already do"
"You are going to pay for him."
"For what? You're doing this. You don't have the right to do this to me or him!"
"He is going to Marry my daughter."
"He's already married and knows it."
"You aren't married to him."
"Yes, I am."
"Consider this a Divorce."
"You can't Divorce us. You don't have the right! This is rape! You are going to go to Hell! You had better repent before you burn in Hell!"
"I'm going to kill you!"
"Maybe, but you're still going to Hell!"