This post is about gossip and hating, and Lindsay Lohan. It's earnest so it may be preachy.
(I know sometimes when people post their thoughts on things like this, they unintentionally offend people, so please know that is not my intention at all. I'm just trying to express what I've been thinking about these past few days. I may do it poorly, but my intentions are good. Earnestness, like sarcasm, is often misinterpreted online.)
I am dreading seeing today's US Weekly, with Lindsay Lohan baring her raw pain for all to see, and mock. She is freely giving people material with which to hate on her. (Literally, freely since US says they didn't pay her).
And honestly, I don't know that so many people really hate her. Many do, of course. But there are many, many more people who just like to hate. Not in an ideological way, but in a "let's make fun of people for our entertainment" way. I'm guilty of it too. It's fun to find the witty turn of phrase, the clever mashup, the hilarious screencap, the funny macro and share it with other people to make people laugh. We want to be amused. People like Lindsay who are so impulsive, emotional and evidently lacking self-preservative instincts, just give the rest of the world an easy target. And with her own words, she gives people ammunition.
It seems like the internet is the modern day town square, and the gossip blogs are the villagers gathered to whisper and point at the freaks and misfits, or those who for whatever reason are not conforming to expected behavior. It's our entertainment and it's at the expense of other human beings. We value our entertainment more than we value the dignity of other human beings. Look at all the reality shows, all the people willing to be mocked in exchange for their 5 minutes of fame. Look at the vulnerable celebrities, especially the young women, like Britney or Lindsay, who don't know how to keep boundaries between themselves and those who follow them (the paps, the media).
It's hard not to make fun of people who make such easy targets. But it's unkind. And it debases something in us, I think. I remember laughing over the Christian Bale tapes - and now I reflect, that wasn't very nice of me. But even now I think, well, I don't know him, and it was funny. What harm am I doing? Maybe the ultimate harm is to yourself, in that you are treating another person's crisis or misstep as entertainment, and in so doing you debase your own decency and dignity.
I don't know. I feel like this sounds so preachy and I don't at all mean it as a criticism of the people on my friends list or even the people on ONTD who LIVE for the hating and drama. As I said, I like the gossip and the snarky criticism too. I've been thinking a lot this week about why I like it, and what I want to do about it - if anything, but honestly, ONTD is the first site I check every day and I right-click-save plenty of mocking gifs and reply lol to plenty of witty but mean comments.
I think if I am criticizing anyone, it's the people who actually know Lindsay Lohan and are not protecting her from herself. She is a fighter with apparently little to no instinct for self-preservation. She will destroy herself and anyone else in the fight for what she wants. Right now, she wants to be in a relationship with Samantha Ronson. As an outside observer who has been a fan of theirs, I think what she is seeking love, security, support, fun, opportunity, challenge, pleasure, etc -- she is seeking a full life, all wrapped up in the form of Samantha Ronson. But you don't get that from another person. You get that from yourself. You can share it with another person, you can create more of it together, but you can't get it from someone else. Lindsay thinks she'll get all that if she's with Samantha. But she's wrong. She doesn't see it. She hasn't learned that life lesson yet.
She's like a terrified, wounded animal, who doesn't choose to retreat to a safe place and recover. That's what many people would do in her place. It's what I would do. Hide out and heal. But others, like her, would fight back because of their pain. She calls US weekly in tears in the middle of the night, she confides in the preying paparazzi, probably in hopes of getting across her message to Samantha more than anything. But all she's doing is hurting herself more.
Someone needs to provide the self-preservation she is lacking. Obviously, with Dina and Michael Lohan as parents, she is handicapped from the start. She has three siblings, but they're all younger. Somewhere there must be an aunt, an uncle, a business associate, a former colleague, someone who could step in and say "Lindsay, you are hurting yourself. You don't realize you are, but you are. Trust me and let me help you - let's start by giving you time to heal before you try to fight anymore". But it seems she doesn't have that person. Samantha Ronson may have been that person for a while, but she's not at the moment. Who is going to step up and protect this young woman who is seemingly unable to do so herself?
Essentially, Lindsay is standing at the open door to her home, handing out ammunition to anyone walking by with a gun, and then despairing in confusion when she is shot at over and over. It's sad to see. The whole thing breaks my heart, honestly.
I am dreading seeing today's US Weekly, with Lindsay Lohan baring her raw pain for all to see, and mock. She is freely giving people material with which to hate on her. (Literally, freely since US says they didn't pay her).
And honestly, I don't know that so many people really hate her. Many do, of course. But there are many, many more people who just like to hate. Not in an ideological way, but in a "let's make fun of people for our entertainment" way. I'm guilty of it too. It's fun to find the witty turn of phrase, the clever mashup, the hilarious screencap, the funny macro and share it with other people to make people laugh. We want to be amused. People like Lindsay who are so impulsive, emotional and evidently lacking self-preservative instincts, just give the rest of the world an easy target. And with her own words, she gives people ammunition.
It seems like the internet is the modern day town square, and the gossip blogs are the villagers gathered to whisper and point at the freaks and misfits, or those who for whatever reason are not conforming to expected behavior. It's our entertainment and it's at the expense of other human beings. We value our entertainment more than we value the dignity of other human beings. Look at all the reality shows, all the people willing to be mocked in exchange for their 5 minutes of fame. Look at the vulnerable celebrities, especially the young women, like Britney or Lindsay, who don't know how to keep boundaries between themselves and those who follow them (the paps, the media).
It's hard not to make fun of people who make such easy targets. But it's unkind. And it debases something in us, I think. I remember laughing over the Christian Bale tapes - and now I reflect, that wasn't very nice of me. But even now I think, well, I don't know him, and it was funny. What harm am I doing? Maybe the ultimate harm is to yourself, in that you are treating another person's crisis or misstep as entertainment, and in so doing you debase your own decency and dignity.
I don't know. I feel like this sounds so preachy and I don't at all mean it as a criticism of the people on my friends list or even the people on ONTD who LIVE for the hating and drama. As I said, I like the gossip and the snarky criticism too. I've been thinking a lot this week about why I like it, and what I want to do about it - if anything, but honestly, ONTD is the first site I check every day and I right-click-save plenty of mocking gifs and reply lol to plenty of witty but mean comments.
I think if I am criticizing anyone, it's the people who actually know Lindsay Lohan and are not protecting her from herself. She is a fighter with apparently little to no instinct for self-preservation. She will destroy herself and anyone else in the fight for what she wants. Right now, she wants to be in a relationship with Samantha Ronson. As an outside observer who has been a fan of theirs, I think what she is seeking love, security, support, fun, opportunity, challenge, pleasure, etc -- she is seeking a full life, all wrapped up in the form of Samantha Ronson. But you don't get that from another person. You get that from yourself. You can share it with another person, you can create more of it together, but you can't get it from someone else. Lindsay thinks she'll get all that if she's with Samantha. But she's wrong. She doesn't see it. She hasn't learned that life lesson yet.
She's like a terrified, wounded animal, who doesn't choose to retreat to a safe place and recover. That's what many people would do in her place. It's what I would do. Hide out and heal. But others, like her, would fight back because of their pain. She calls US weekly in tears in the middle of the night, she confides in the preying paparazzi, probably in hopes of getting across her message to Samantha more than anything. But all she's doing is hurting herself more.
Someone needs to provide the self-preservation she is lacking. Obviously, with Dina and Michael Lohan as parents, she is handicapped from the start. She has three siblings, but they're all younger. Somewhere there must be an aunt, an uncle, a business associate, a former colleague, someone who could step in and say "Lindsay, you are hurting yourself. You don't realize you are, but you are. Trust me and let me help you - let's start by giving you time to heal before you try to fight anymore". But it seems she doesn't have that person. Samantha Ronson may have been that person for a while, but she's not at the moment. Who is going to step up and protect this young woman who is seemingly unable to do so herself?
Essentially, Lindsay is standing at the open door to her home, handing out ammunition to anyone walking by with a gun, and then despairing in confusion when she is shot at over and over. It's sad to see. The whole thing breaks my heart, honestly.