BACKLOG: Daisuke&Ken back in mid-Feb.(Because it's annoying I keep referring to it. XD;;; )
[OOC:Discontinued, long backlog. I wanted to finish, but realized it'll never happen.XD
So yeah. A little back ground. ^^
This has happened in month of Febuary, towards the middle.
Earlier this month, Feb.2nd, Ken had his first black out,
and was suffering from nightmares all throughout January~Feb.
His parents are out of town as his dad had accident on Ken's birthday, and was hospitalized.
He's been suffering with bad relationship funk with Miyako, and an event happened back in January has put him off approaching her since, and his suffered some stalking through last year's month of December up until sometime January.
At this moment, Ken is stressed, upset, and paranoid.
Daisuke has heard Miyako's point of view on whole story prior to this.]
Daisuke got off the train at some unusual hour at night. He was carrying several things in his shoulder bag, which he had appropriately slung over his shoulder. Vaguely wishing for the warmer season to arrive faster, the goggle boy hoped the present, movie and Pocky weren't being crushed. He also hoped his wrapping job lasted. Sure, he wasn't the best at it, but he tried.
After walking for a bit, Daisuke arrived at the tall building. He was about to buzz Ken's number but an exiting resident let him in instead and Daisuke climbed up the stairs to Ken's.
Once there, he hit the doorbell several times, to the tune of some random song, humming under his breath.
Startled, Ken stared at the clock. It was now nearing 12 AM.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ken swallowed hard and went to the kitchen. As the sound of the ringing doorbell escalated, the blue haired boy felt cold sweat running down his back.
He grabbed tightly onto the frying pan and readied himself. Honest, stalker in this time of the night was the last thing he needed, when he was feeling crappy and Wormmon’s ill. Remembering the earlier phone call of his mom notifying him of not returning home tonight, Ken thought to himself. “I’ll…just knock her out cold.”
He opened the door abruptly, and gave a full swing.
Daisuke stared at the...'thing' coming straight at him. Lucky for him, those soccer reflexes at him yelping as he dived to the side. He didn't know what it was but he didn't think it would be fun to have it meet his face.
Daisuke yelled, forgetting about the time and place. He held his hands over his head, eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Please don't kill me!" He heard a rustle in his bag and made a mental apology to Chibimon.
With a loud clang, Ken dropped the frying pan on the doorway. “Daisuke?” He called out, dumb-founded. “What are you doing HERE?” He questioned his best friend, utterly surprised. “I mean, uh-come in. And Sorry.” He grabbed his friend’s hand and pulled him inside.
Daisuke didn't even have time to reply before he found himself hauled into the apartment. He carefully skipped over the fallen makeshift weapon and took a moment to slip his shoes off first. "Well, several things actually," he began, ticking his fingers off. "No school tomorrow, a late present, movies and soccer."
Ken shook his head. “You could’ve given me a call you know. You’re lucky my parents are not home. My mother would’ve driven you home if she was around.” He ruffled his hair. “I’m sorry for the rough treatment. Remember the stalker girl I’ve mentioned ages ago? I’m not sure if it’s her, but I have been feeling someone’s presence around this entire week.” He dropped himself to the sofa and grabbed remote control, and motioned Daisuke to do the same. “It’s been driving me insane, and I’m glad to see you. Though I can’t help but wonder how you got yourself up here without pressing the buzzer.”
Daisuke ducked the outstretched fingers, fixing his hair. “I’m glad to see you too.”
He calmly took the seat next to his best friend. “See, the thing is, Ken, there is no female stalker. It’s been me all along. I couldn’t admit it for the longest time but…I’m madly in love with you.” The goggle boy opened his bag and took out the movies along with the wrapped present. “And, since I’m here, I wanted to ask you, Ken. Will you marry me?”
Somehow, through the entire speech, Daisuke managed to look his best friend in the eyes. He took out another present and got on his knees. Opening it, Daisuke revealed a tacky mood ring, nestled in dark blue.
His jaw worked for a few moments before he quickly looked down. Coughing, Daisuke started to snicker. The next thing he knew, he was laughing uncontrollably. To the point where it hurt.
Ken took the blue ring from his friend’s hand, forcefully opening the tightly gripped hand from laughter. “That’s a shame. I’d take up the offer rather than to set myself up with any stalker girl you know.” He said with a sigh. It was now his turn to look at Daisuke seriously.
When his friend’s eyes opened up wide with horror, the blue haired boy playfully kissed the ring. “After all, who said I was straight?”
Daisuke backed up into the corner of the couch, looking like a fish out of water. Then, he figured it out. Two could play at this game.
"Oh? Well, in that case, I'm the husband. And you can be my little wifey and I'll buy you a cute pink apron," he did his best not to start laughing again.
Ken threw the ring away, and looked at Daisuke dangerously. “Wife? You do remember you’re at my place right now…” He leaned closer, trapping Daisuke on the corner of the couch. He ran his finger across Daisuke’s neck. “You’d better ready yourself.”
He could feel the pale finger trace down his neck and over his Adam's apple. "That doesn't always mean you're in charge, Ken," he murmured.
"And I'm always ready. Do your worst," he declared stubbornly, eyes glinting with determination. Being Ken's friend had taught him to prepare for everything.
“Fine.” With this, Ken grinned. “Straight for the sides it is!” With a swift movement, he began his attack on his best friend’s sides.
It wasn't long before Daisuke had tears running down his face. He tried to grab Ken's hands, helplessly convulsing with laughter. "I give, I give!" he yelped, attempting to escape from the older Chosen's evil clutches.
Daisuke rolled off the couch, and hit the floor with the dull thud, still laughing. "Ow," he uttered through his chuckles as he slowly calmed down.
Ken threw away the blue ring, and looked down at his friend rather arrogantly. “I win. Again.” Judo expert grinned and sat down, facing Daisuke at the eye level. “Save your pink aprons for Hikari-chan. I could live without.” He gave a poke to Daisuke’s forehead with his index finger, chucking, he asked. “Honestly. Where did that come from? You sure you weren’t going through your sister’s odd comic books again?”
Daisuke snickered. "Sure thing. I just let you win, Ken. And besides, I wouldn't get Hikari a pink apron. Well...maybe. Nah, maybe she'd look cute in purple." Daisuke crawled back onto the couch. "You know, I have no idea where it came from. It was funny though, you have to admit."
The goggle boy pulled out a couple of movies. "Mind if I crash? I thought we could watch a few movies or something. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. And Happy Birthday, by the way, again.”
He passed the wrapped gift to his friend and went to put a random DVD into the player.
Accepting the gift, Ken frowned. ”Glad you thought it was funny. I was seriously considering to perform a kake on you. After all, for a moment you had me until you started laughing.” Ken sighed. “No more gay jokes. Okay? After stalking anything seems possible now, though you’ve been so blatantly hetero all years of time I’ve known you.”
Daisuke's brow furrowed. "Don't tell me you have anything against gay people, Ken. That's just not cool. And it's not like I've ever implied anything with you. Besides, you're my best friend. Liking you would be...weird and more weird." He crinkled his nose here.
“Exactly. Liking you would be… strange… I don’t have anything against gay people, since love is love, no matter what gender is. But it’s just… it was you.” Ken sighed then shook his head. “But, never mind. It’s probably just me. I’m tired, cranky, edgy and haven’t been sleeping well. Sorry.” He threw his hands up in the air. Bringing it back down, he asked.“Thanks for the gift. Mind if I open it now?”
"Dude, go ahead. Your birthday was last week! Of course you can open it!" He peered a little closer at his friend. Now that Ken mentioned it...
"You have lines under your eyes," he quietly murmured, worryng at his lower lip. "Are you all right?"
“Honestly speaking, can’t say I’m all sunshine this moment…” Ken replied tiredly. “But we’ll talk about it later. First, present.” He smiled at his companion and quickly undid the wrapping.
Daisuke waited for his friend to set eyes on Halo, the expansion edition for the computer. "I went and got myself a copy too. It's really addicting and good though."
Ken winked. “Thanks buddy. Wormmon will love you forever.”
"I'm glad you like it then. And I'm sure Wormmn will too," Daisuke amusedly replied, relieved. "We so have to play each other later, but movie now. Unless...well, how up to a movie, are you?"
The soccer player turned to his friend, studying him. "Is something wrong?"
Other teen ran his hand through his hair, then slightly gripped a bunch of strands as his hand slid far back as back of the ear. “Well. I don’t have anything against the movie, but I’d like to catch up with you first. I can’t exactly say nothing’s wrong, but I’d like to find out what’s been happening at your end.” He smiled weakly.
Daisuke paused. "Well...."
How to go about this? Hm, probably in his usual, blunt way. "Everything's been okay, I guess. I hung out with Iori and that was fun. And..uh...Miyako slapped me."
Ken blinked. “She slapped you? Man. I was afraid you’d do something rash.”
"You saw that coming?! Why didn't you warn me!" Daisuke exclaimed. He clutched his cheek even though it wasn't injured anymore. Not that it really was to begin with. Just a little soreness and ache for a while.
Ken shook his head. “Well… You didn’t exactly give me time to explain the detail, and just left without listening to me. “ Ken got up from the sofa, and walked toward the screen. “Want some tea or snacks? I’d rather have that annoying TV off though.”
Daisuke didn't answer. Looking down at his hands, he vaguely remembered when he had gotten a few of the faint scars there, from soccer mostly. "You know," he began, refusing to look up. "She still loves you."
“…I’ll go get us something to eat.” Ken turned around, and tried to escape to the kitchen.
This honestly was the last thing he needed.
Daisuke shooed off Chibimon who had wormed his way out of his bag ages ago. He figured the Digimon would go find Wormmon or something. His head shot up when Ken absconded to the kitchen. Frowning, Daisuke followed his friend.
"What's wrong?" he asked at last. "You're utterly avoiding the subject here."
“Perhaps.” He answered emotionlessly as he’s placed vanilla wafers on the dish.
Moving along, he picked up a few different tea packages. “Hnn. Which do you prefer, Daisuke? Green tea? Or Chai.”
"Chai," he answered without missing a beat. "She said she wouldn't move on...if you asked her not to."
Setting two tea bags into blue and orange cup, Green and Chai tea, paler of the two raised one of his eyebrows. Keeping his mouth shut in a single line, he brought out the white electrical kettle and filled it up with warm water.
Hearing no answer, Daisuke decided to continue on. He half-watched his friend from beneath his bangs, staring down at his own sock-clad feet. Sometimes, he wondered if it was even any of his business.
Opening his mouth, Daisuke snapped it shut again. Finally, he spoke, "Look, Ken...I think...she almost cried that day..."
The blue haired boy flinched visibly. He stared hard at the two cups sitting at the counter. A billion things crossed his mind. Black pain ebbed at his heart yet again and there was the burning sensation. Trace of anger was there, but overall, he was gripped by overwhelming sadness. Not knowing his own face, he just stared, stared hard into the two cups.
He was brought back to reality when the kettle cried out.
Pouring the water in the cup, he finally started, his voice small as a whisper.
“…Daisuke.”
Daisuke didn't think he had ever heard Ken's voice so quiet. It left him feeling unsettled, like waking up after a nightmare he just couldn't quiet remember. There was a taste of something akin to regret in his mouth, flat and yet not, almost indefinable.
Seeing the blue-haired boy flinch made Daisuke feel like a jerk. "Yeah Ken?" He asked quietly, looking down at his hands. He didn't like upsetting people.
The blue haired boy picked up the cup and turned around to face his friend. Trying hard at a smile, he suggested. “Let’s go sit down first.”
Nodding, Daisuke picked up his own cup, along with the wafers, and headed for the living room. Sitting, he set the things down, not really hungry or thirsty.
Ken settled himself on top of the sofa. He took a deep breath, and sighed out aloud.
There was a bit of awkward silence between the two, and the taller of the two avoided his friend’s eyes. To ease the tension, he stretched forcefully, and then dryly, he started.
“I don’t think we’ll get back together Daisuke.”
Daisuke watched the steam rise from his cup for a long moment. He glanced up at Ken, seeing the other own averted gaze. Cupping his drink, he felt the warmth seep into his hands, almost to the point of burning him but it didn't bother him. "Oh....why not?"
Ken watched the water as the green of the tea sipped and settled at the bottom of the cup. “I… don’t intend on it.”
Miyako would probably kill him later. Even if he was just the messenger.
"Even though she still feels for you?" he asked.
“Even if I still feel for her.” Ken stared hard at the water which was now completely green.
He finally took a sip of his own tea, finding the temperature easy on his tongue. "You don't?"
“I… do.” Ken said with a sigh. “But I was asked not to approach her.” He too, took a sip of his tea. It was bitter. “And even if the person didn’t ask me to, I wouldn’t have been able to. At least for awhile.” He put down the cup and pressed his temples.
“Not with everything that’s happened…” Ken straightened up and stared into blank screen of the TV.
Daisuke was startled. "Someone asked you to stay away from her?" The thought boggled the shorter teen's mind. It made no sense, no matter which way Daisuke looked at it.
But...it wasn't like even he knew the whole story. "What...did happen?" he finally ventured to ask.
“I first asked her out back in September. But I was stupid and avoided her answer for awhile. It was mortifying because I knew prior to the confession she had major crush on Izumi san.” Ken brought his hands together and settled it on his knee.
“Then at the Halloween concert I finally confronted her, and she said yes. At the time, I was being honest and I have told her how long I’ve had feelings for her.” He paused and took another sip of the bitter liquid.
“Then we had a date about a week after, it didn’t go well. She was feeling ill afterwards, and then I was away for a week for Osamu’s memorial. What went wrong there was I wasn’t able to contact her because I got in the car while I was half asleep, and when I got there… you know where Ichijouji main house is. Meantime, she was feeling insecure and I assume something happened. I’m not sure what, but on our second date she told me she still might have feelings for Izumi san.”
Ken shifted his gaze to floor. “So we broke off our relationship at that point, and that was fine.”
"How...complicated," Daisuke muttered. He told himself to never get into something so convoluted and snapped his attention back to his friend. "But there's more to it than that, I take it?"
Breaking off his eye contact with the floor Ken nodded. He continued, after a pause.
“I…guess fine isn’t the right word. I acted as I was okay but it was quite a blow. Imagine Hikari san, dumping you after second date saying she still has feelings for Takeru, AFTER you’ve told her how serious you were.”
Daisuke winced. "I do...I do imagine that sometimes. But...I want to take that risk anyways," he smiled slightly, thinking of Hikari. "But...go on, Ken."
“And I’m sure Hikari san would never do such thing. She would probably think hard about her answers and give you the most sincere one.” Ken nodded as the image of his friend
crossed his mind.
“But it’s okay. I still was willing to accept her, only in time. After all, I didn’t want her to return to me just because she was turned down, and I’m the safe bet. After all, I was turned down once, and I didn’t want that to happen again. What if she wasn’t entirely sure of her feelings when I’ve accepted her?” Ken shook his head. “Perhaps I should’ve just accepted her none-the-less, and acted on slightest hint, but I…wasn’t kind enough…” He picked up a wafer and munched on it. It tasted like brick. He washed it down with bitter tea.
“Then we were off for about a month and a half… and I heard that she is trying to win me back at the Christmas party, and she was giving me subtle hints. Still, I had no intention of getting back together with her right away, but I thought make-over was quite unnecessary. I couldn’t help but feel that she was trying to rush things. Because you know. I like her because she is herself. She didn’t need to try hard.” A pause. “However, it was flattering.”
Daisuke took a sip of his tea, recycling all the information Ken had just laid out on the table. All he could think was 'Poor Miyako...' He could still remember all the emotions, hanging thick in the air. The telltale shine in her eyes, revealing her unshed tears.
I guess...I owe her an apology, he told himself. Would he ever learn? This jumping to conclusions business...would get him more than just a slap one day.
Ken continued, as his companion kept his mouth shut in a single line.
“…Before the party, she said she wanted to talk to me. Then when I got to the hospital, I saw her walking out with her older brother, her face messed up with tears. I wanted to approach her, but my attempts were futile as I was brushed off by both her and her brother. It worried me, but I decided that I should perhaps let her calm down first. Then she was grounded, and I contacted after some days asking if I should take her up on the ‘talk’, and drop off the presents. Then she said she didn’t want to see me.” Ken tried to keep his voice neutral. “I…got a little annoyed at this point so I replied harshily and went to her place anyways, to just drop off the present. Her sister insisted I try to talk to her since she was being moody.”
"And...what happened then?" He thought that perhaps things got worse. After all, the rift between the two seemed indelible at this point. Daisuke wanted to tell Ken he could stop. But...perhaps it would help for his friend to get it all out.
He started with his voice low. “First she asked why I was there, her voice uninviting. Then, she asked me to come in, leaving me completely confused. Then…” Ken drew his breath back, sharply, as he recalled the hammering shock he felt at the time. “She told me to get over her.”
Daisuke was taken aback. He hadn't expected Ken to say that. And all he had to say in response was a flat, short, "Oh..."
Clenching his teeth, the blue haired boy continued. “Getting turned down once was enough, but twice was insulting, as much as it was hurting. But I tried to keep it in me, and turned around to take my leave, then she gripped my sleeve saying …“Don’t go...” He brought a hand to his heart, trying to get a hold on his emotions. He could felt his eyes getting hot, and moist. “I tried to leave again, yet she uttered that phrase one more time. And I…blew up.”
Feeling his cheeks being heated up as he felt flushed, Ken shook his head, totally engulfed by rush emotion. “She, She said there was something I need to know and I acted horribly abrasive towards her.” In frustration, he gripped his hair. “I don’t know what was in me, but when I finally calmed down, she, she was in a corner.” He was silent for a minute before he started again.
“…She looked so…frail…with her shoulders so small.” His voice was trembling.
“I felt ashamed, sad, pathetic, and somehow disappointed all at once. At her, At myself!” He choked up his words in heat. “Then…I just had to ask her, though I was much more calm, What it was that I needed to know.”
There was a moment of silence.
“She told me she had kissed another and the person who didn’t wanted to date her at the time.” Ken spat out. Then he buried his head in his arms.
Daisuke wanted to tell Ken to stop. That he didn't need to continue anymore. But every time he tried to say something, the words fizzled in his throat. Setting his tea down, Daisuke sat down next to Ken and laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. It felt a little awkward; he wasn't used to such sensitive displays.
But he realized it didn’t matter how he felt.
Ken needed his friend right now. He patted the older boy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, voice quiet and almost emotionless. “You don’t have to say anymore. I’m sorry, Ken.”
He felt useless. He felt like he shouldn’t have brought anything up. And now it was all out in the open. It was all he could do to repeat those words. Words that felt worthless on his tongue.
Ken cried the tears he has suppressed for far too long the length of time, surprising even himself as tears just flew. It had been over a month since it had happen, yet he wondered why the wound hurt so much, especially when he has even thought about million different hypothesis about how Miyako would’ve felt, and how she feels now. He remembers troubled look and the blank shock displayed on her face, as he left, saying he cannot trust her anymore. Him refusing, even to accept the act of apology, perhaps might have been sincere confession of how special he was to her.
Feeling Daisuke’s hand was comforting, yet each time “I’m sorry” has hit his eardrums Ken couldn’t stop but feeling the gap between him and his best friend. He was truly thankful Daisuke was here to listen to him, listen to how he felt, and perhaps how he even feels now, but as he sensed emotionless-ness of his companion’s voice, he couldn’t help but feeling like he’s hit the brick wall.
He can’t feel what I feel.
True sadness, true aloneness. Upon realizing the fact, he felt himself emerged in lukewarm feeling of sadness. Though he knew all humans are alone, by logic, it was this moment that he truly felt it.
…Realizing this, he found himself becoming surprisingly calm, as his companion kept on speaking.
Daisuke heard the tears and looked down at his other hand, lying useless in his lap. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a pack of tissues. Pulling out a tissue, he pressed it into Ken's hands.
He rubbed slow circles into the other's back, wishing he had some other method of comfort to employ, wishing he could staunch the tears.
The soccer player knew it was pointless to tell his friend to stop crying. It never helped and it never worked. Instead, he let Ken cry.
“Thanks.” Ken took the tissue, and wiped his face. Raising his head up, he smiled to Daisuke. “God, this is embarrassing. Crying like a girl.” He reached for another tissue and wiped out the excess of moistness that was remaining on his face. Then, he looked straight at Daisuke, and spoke, his tone sincere. “Thanks Daisuke.”
He looked away after a moment. "For what?" Daisuke asked, words tinged with a touch of bitterness. "I haven't done anything but cause trouble."
Ken shook his head. “No. You helped me get it out. I haven’t cried so much even when I was alone.” His wits were back on him now he was feeling relieved, and much calmer. Reviewing his friend’s state, Ken said his voice now reassuring. “You haven’t caused any trouble. In fact you’ve helped me confirm what I have sorted out.” He paused for a moment and looked at Daisuke in the eyes. “So don’t blame yourself. Instead, I’d like you to let me talk just a little bit more.”
Daisuke frowned a little. "Well...I'm certainly not going to tell you that you can't talk, Ken. That'd be ridiculous." He nodded and gestured for his friend to continue. "However long it takes, whatever you need to say, just go ahead."
Ken smiled again, at his friend’s response. “Thanks.” He then sighed, and brought his hand to his face, corners of his lips still curled. “Truthfully speaking, I’m as worried about how you see me after all this talk, as much as I feel the need to talk, and straighten some things out- so at least one person’ll know my point of view.” Though it would be unrealistic to expect you to completely understand what I feel now… Ken bit his lips.
“Being caught up, at what’s happened, especially when what she has said after the words that struck me so hard might be true, is frustrating.” He started, his voice calm.
“After that confession, she has told me I was special. Special to her. Though at the time I found it utterly impossible to believe. After all, how would someone be able to say things that important, so lightly? …But I realize now that’s me looking at things in my point of view only, for someone like Miyako, who feels things vibrantly and quickly, it might be different. Perhaps every words she couldn’t chose carefully, might be too obvious of a clue to figuring out what she really feels.”
He breathed in. “She wasn’t as strong as I perceived her to be, and I learned she was a fragile,valnurable person who’s also clumsy, just as I am.”
The blue haired teen raised his hand and stared at back of his hand. “I don’t regret this whole ordeal, and I do understand I have my faults, but I am still not yet ready to go back into romantic relationship with her. Not to mention I was asked to keep away.” He shut his eyes. “Though, I have to admit I miss her friendship terribly.”
He withdrew his hand. “So I’m more sad about the loss of friendship, though I am at loss of words of how I should approach it.” He continued his eyes still closed. “Especially when I was asked to keep away, and especially when there’s a great risk, of her taking it as me being ready for relationship. That’ll only result in hurting us both.”
“Talking to her right now, giving her false hopes… That’ll be spoiling her. I want to see her stand up, and make her own decisions, instead of relying others and letting things happen.”
Ken smiled sadly. “So I’ll keep at distance, and see how it goes. The wound is still fresh, and I still am in love with her, but right now, just isn’t the time.” And perhaps never- He thought to himself as pang of sadness was felt, as he was reminded of Iori’s sincere plea.
“I just hope…that we’d be able to look at each other straight, someday, and laugh… Recalling all these, and commenting how silly the whole deal was.”
He concluded, with a true smile, accompanied with soft wetness about his eyes.
"All you can do is wait then," Daisuke finally said, letting Ken have his say and getting it all out. "One of the guys on the soccer team....had a break up with his girlfriend. They were such good friends before they dated too. They...didn't talk to each other for over a year."
"Maybe...you both need time away, time to grow up a little." Daisuke handed Ken the rest of the tissues.
“No thanks.” Ken softly pushed away the offering hand, and let the last single drop of tear roll. “Perhaps.” Ken smiled, though in his head, he thought it’ll never happen. Though it would probably still sting, if he had looked them together, Ken truly wished Iori good luck. Ken held great respect towards the younger chosen, and was aware of his strengths though they were not the best of the friends. Perhaps, just perhaps he would be able to cherish her, without hurting her. After all, he had known her longer than Ken himself, and chance still new.
“But it’s okay. She’s in good hands now.” Ken smiled.
Ken got up and stretched. “Aaah, that was a lot of talking. I don’t know about you, but I feel hungry.”
Daisuke wondered how Ken could just seem to almost turn off his emotions like that. He knew that he'd never be able to do that. But he let it go anyway.
Getting up, Daisuke nodded and headed for the kitchen. If Ken didn't want to talk about it, he could go with that. He froze, blinking as he took in the scene in the kitchen.
"Chibimon!" He exclaimed as he found his Digimon happily munching on cookies while Wormmon looked a little queasy.
“Wormmon!” Ken rushed to his small friend and picked him up gently, “You should be sleeping…” With worried look on his face, Ken gazed at his partner.
Wormmon looked at Ken pitifully. "It was cold without you though, Ken-chan." He burrowed further onto Ken's arms, thriving on the warmth.
Ken patted his partner’s head as Chibimon started talking with mouthful. “Daisuke!” The little blue dinosaur perked right up, and brought up the cookie in his right hand. “This is deeeeeeeelish! Do you want one?”
Daisuke could only shake his head, laughing. "You're going to be bouncing off the walls all night," he predicted.
Wormmon made a happy little noise, preening under Ken's attention. "Are you going to sleep soon, Ken-chan? I don't wanna...sweep without you." He yawned mid sentence, slurring his words a little.
Ken furrowed his brows, though his lips were still smiling. He eyed Daisuke shortly before answering Wormmon’s question. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep soon since they’re so energetic, “ he paused, turning his body to give Wormmon a better access of vision. “But I’ll tuck you in the bed. Is that okay?”
Chibimon chirped. “You bet! And you should be bouncing with me ‘coz Wormmon’s sleepy!”
The energetic digimon did a summersault, accidentally knocking the cookie jar down.
Daisuke quickly caught the cookie jar as it fell off the counter. This certainly wasn't the first time Chibimon had accidentally hit something over. He set it up right as Wormmon spoke up again.
"Okay, Ken-chan," he happily complied and hugged Ken as best he could with his limited mobility. --
Though the Digimon knew that he would be up, waiting for Ken, not matter how long it took for Ken to go to sleep.
Returning the warm hug, Ken turned around to face Daisuke. “I’ll be right back.” He oriented himself towards the bedroom.
As Ken moved away to tuck Wormmon into the bed, Chibimon nudged Daisuke.
“Thanks.” Tilting his head to the side and lowering his voice in a whisper, Chibimon continued. “Think he noticed?” Training level digimon eyed the cookie jar almost curiously.
Daisuke grinned at Chibimon. "No worries, I got your back, Chibimon. But no more cookies though. You need to wind down, not get all hyped up, silly."
Wormmon was tempted to ask Ken for a story as well, but he decided not to push it. Instead, all he could manage was a slightly wavering 'good night'.
Sensing the hesitation in his friend’s voice, the blue haired boy leaned in, measuring the temperature with his forehead. “Make sure to get some sleep.” Straightening up his body, the teen grabbed another blanket the little insect type monster up. “Wormmon.” He called as he lowered the lights. “We’ll go shopping for new storybooks once you get all better. Okay?” He grinned.
The blue digimon tumbled down from the counter and jumped up and down in excitement. “Daisuke, Daaaisuke! Let’s play soccer!” Chibimon urged, somehow getting a hold of little sponge soccer ball that was located on the sofa.
Daisuke laughed and shook his head. "Not at one in the morning, I think, Chibimon. Maybe in the morning? 'Sides, Ken and I need to do alot of catching up."
Wormmon nodded meekly. He smiled happily at the thought of new storybooks. He always liked it when Ken read the books to him, and he liked it even better when they went shopping for them.
Ken turned on the night light, and gave his friend’s hand a sqeeze before exiting. He dragged his feet at the door, for he was certain his friend didn’t wanted to be alone. But he also knew Wormmon needed a rest. “Good night.” Ken exited, feeling guilty. He took a mental note to make it up to him somehow.
“Awww… Okay. I’ll play by myself!” Chibimon shook his head, almost falling forward. He kicked up the sponge ball and heading-ed it to the wall. The ball squeaked with a “pi” sound, and Chibimon brightened up, and rushed to it. “Oooh!” With his eyes shining, he started kicking the ball around.
Daisuke shook his head helplessly. He ran after Chibimon and stole the ball away, getting into the game. "Come on, Chibimon, betcha can't get the ball from me!" He teased.
Wormmon sniffed a little, still feeling the remnants of illness in him. The scent of Ken on the bed made him feel a little better though. Even when Ken wasn't around, there were traces of him, and it made Wormmon feel better.
“No fair Daisukeee-“ Chibimon pouted. “Play the Golie game again!” I’ll shoot the ball between your legs!” Chibimon protested, jumping up and down.
"Not now, Chibimon. We might break something again. Remember how mom got mad last time....?" Daisuke reminded him. "We'll play it outside in the morning, all right?"
“Okay!Then I’ll go sleep with Wormmon.” The perky creature turned around with a bright smile plastered on his face. He waddled his way to the white door Ken had entered. Catching the boy making his way out Chibimon winked. “I’ll keep Wormmon’s company!” He bounced up and down and hurriedly entered. Then he bounced himself up onto the bed. “Woooormmon~” He latched onto his friend.
Daisuke chuckled at the Digimon's antics. He set the ball down and waited for Ken to come back. He was sure, despite seeing the unhappy look on Wormmon's face earlier, that Chibimon would inevitably cheer the other Digimon up.
Wormmon heard the other Digimon coming but was too slow to react and then next thing he knew, he had one Chibimon-sized lump attached to him. "Hi Chibimon," he replied, not in the least bit sleepy anymore, without Ken around.
“Oooh you’re warm. Let’s get some sleep. In the morning we play soccer!” The blue lump said everything in a quick single sentence and tightened his grip on his friend. “Good night!” Within 5 seconds the mammal type monster was out cold.
Ken closed the white door and made his way towards his friend.
“Sorry for the wait Daisuke.” He settled himself down on the comfort of couch.
Wormmin blinked, unable to catch all of that. The next thing he knew, Chibimon was out like a light. Yet he lay there in the dimly-lit room, feeling Chibimon next to him and unable to shake the odd feeling away. Chibimon just wasn't Ken.
The goggle boy grinned. "Hey, no problem, man." "What am I gonna do at 1am? Study?" He laughed a little,feeling more relaxed than like earlier when the tension had been palpable and thick in the air, oppressive and awkward.
So yeah. A little back ground. ^^
This has happened in month of Febuary, towards the middle.
Earlier this month, Feb.2nd, Ken had his first black out,
and was suffering from nightmares all throughout January~Feb.
His parents are out of town as his dad had accident on Ken's birthday, and was hospitalized.
He's been suffering with bad relationship funk with Miyako, and an event happened back in January has put him off approaching her since, and his suffered some stalking through last year's month of December up until sometime January.
At this moment, Ken is stressed, upset, and paranoid.
Daisuke has heard Miyako's point of view on whole story prior to this.]
Daisuke got off the train at some unusual hour at night. He was carrying several things in his shoulder bag, which he had appropriately slung over his shoulder. Vaguely wishing for the warmer season to arrive faster, the goggle boy hoped the present, movie and Pocky weren't being crushed. He also hoped his wrapping job lasted. Sure, he wasn't the best at it, but he tried.
After walking for a bit, Daisuke arrived at the tall building. He was about to buzz Ken's number but an exiting resident let him in instead and Daisuke climbed up the stairs to Ken's.
Once there, he hit the doorbell several times, to the tune of some random song, humming under his breath.
Startled, Ken stared at the clock. It was now nearing 12 AM.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ken swallowed hard and went to the kitchen. As the sound of the ringing doorbell escalated, the blue haired boy felt cold sweat running down his back.
He grabbed tightly onto the frying pan and readied himself. Honest, stalker in this time of the night was the last thing he needed, when he was feeling crappy and Wormmon’s ill. Remembering the earlier phone call of his mom notifying him of not returning home tonight, Ken thought to himself. “I’ll…just knock her out cold.”
He opened the door abruptly, and gave a full swing.
Daisuke stared at the...'thing' coming straight at him. Lucky for him, those soccer reflexes at him yelping as he dived to the side. He didn't know what it was but he didn't think it would be fun to have it meet his face.
Daisuke yelled, forgetting about the time and place. He held his hands over his head, eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Please don't kill me!" He heard a rustle in his bag and made a mental apology to Chibimon.
With a loud clang, Ken dropped the frying pan on the doorway. “Daisuke?” He called out, dumb-founded. “What are you doing HERE?” He questioned his best friend, utterly surprised. “I mean, uh-come in. And Sorry.” He grabbed his friend’s hand and pulled him inside.
Daisuke didn't even have time to reply before he found himself hauled into the apartment. He carefully skipped over the fallen makeshift weapon and took a moment to slip his shoes off first. "Well, several things actually," he began, ticking his fingers off. "No school tomorrow, a late present, movies and soccer."
Ken shook his head. “You could’ve given me a call you know. You’re lucky my parents are not home. My mother would’ve driven you home if she was around.” He ruffled his hair. “I’m sorry for the rough treatment. Remember the stalker girl I’ve mentioned ages ago? I’m not sure if it’s her, but I have been feeling someone’s presence around this entire week.” He dropped himself to the sofa and grabbed remote control, and motioned Daisuke to do the same. “It’s been driving me insane, and I’m glad to see you. Though I can’t help but wonder how you got yourself up here without pressing the buzzer.”
Daisuke ducked the outstretched fingers, fixing his hair. “I’m glad to see you too.”
He calmly took the seat next to his best friend. “See, the thing is, Ken, there is no female stalker. It’s been me all along. I couldn’t admit it for the longest time but…I’m madly in love with you.” The goggle boy opened his bag and took out the movies along with the wrapped present. “And, since I’m here, I wanted to ask you, Ken. Will you marry me?”
Somehow, through the entire speech, Daisuke managed to look his best friend in the eyes. He took out another present and got on his knees. Opening it, Daisuke revealed a tacky mood ring, nestled in dark blue.
His jaw worked for a few moments before he quickly looked down. Coughing, Daisuke started to snicker. The next thing he knew, he was laughing uncontrollably. To the point where it hurt.
Ken took the blue ring from his friend’s hand, forcefully opening the tightly gripped hand from laughter. “That’s a shame. I’d take up the offer rather than to set myself up with any stalker girl you know.” He said with a sigh. It was now his turn to look at Daisuke seriously.
When his friend’s eyes opened up wide with horror, the blue haired boy playfully kissed the ring. “After all, who said I was straight?”
Daisuke backed up into the corner of the couch, looking like a fish out of water. Then, he figured it out. Two could play at this game.
"Oh? Well, in that case, I'm the husband. And you can be my little wifey and I'll buy you a cute pink apron," he did his best not to start laughing again.
Ken threw the ring away, and looked at Daisuke dangerously. “Wife? You do remember you’re at my place right now…” He leaned closer, trapping Daisuke on the corner of the couch. He ran his finger across Daisuke’s neck. “You’d better ready yourself.”
He could feel the pale finger trace down his neck and over his Adam's apple. "That doesn't always mean you're in charge, Ken," he murmured.
"And I'm always ready. Do your worst," he declared stubbornly, eyes glinting with determination. Being Ken's friend had taught him to prepare for everything.
“Fine.” With this, Ken grinned. “Straight for the sides it is!” With a swift movement, he began his attack on his best friend’s sides.
It wasn't long before Daisuke had tears running down his face. He tried to grab Ken's hands, helplessly convulsing with laughter. "I give, I give!" he yelped, attempting to escape from the older Chosen's evil clutches.
Daisuke rolled off the couch, and hit the floor with the dull thud, still laughing. "Ow," he uttered through his chuckles as he slowly calmed down.
Ken threw away the blue ring, and looked down at his friend rather arrogantly. “I win. Again.” Judo expert grinned and sat down, facing Daisuke at the eye level. “Save your pink aprons for Hikari-chan. I could live without.” He gave a poke to Daisuke’s forehead with his index finger, chucking, he asked. “Honestly. Where did that come from? You sure you weren’t going through your sister’s odd comic books again?”
Daisuke snickered. "Sure thing. I just let you win, Ken. And besides, I wouldn't get Hikari a pink apron. Well...maybe. Nah, maybe she'd look cute in purple." Daisuke crawled back onto the couch. "You know, I have no idea where it came from. It was funny though, you have to admit."
The goggle boy pulled out a couple of movies. "Mind if I crash? I thought we could watch a few movies or something. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. And Happy Birthday, by the way, again.”
He passed the wrapped gift to his friend and went to put a random DVD into the player.
Accepting the gift, Ken frowned. ”Glad you thought it was funny. I was seriously considering to perform a kake on you. After all, for a moment you had me until you started laughing.” Ken sighed. “No more gay jokes. Okay? After stalking anything seems possible now, though you’ve been so blatantly hetero all years of time I’ve known you.”
Daisuke's brow furrowed. "Don't tell me you have anything against gay people, Ken. That's just not cool. And it's not like I've ever implied anything with you. Besides, you're my best friend. Liking you would be...weird and more weird." He crinkled his nose here.
“Exactly. Liking you would be… strange… I don’t have anything against gay people, since love is love, no matter what gender is. But it’s just… it was you.” Ken sighed then shook his head. “But, never mind. It’s probably just me. I’m tired, cranky, edgy and haven’t been sleeping well. Sorry.” He threw his hands up in the air. Bringing it back down, he asked.“Thanks for the gift. Mind if I open it now?”
"Dude, go ahead. Your birthday was last week! Of course you can open it!" He peered a little closer at his friend. Now that Ken mentioned it...
"You have lines under your eyes," he quietly murmured, worryng at his lower lip. "Are you all right?"
“Honestly speaking, can’t say I’m all sunshine this moment…” Ken replied tiredly. “But we’ll talk about it later. First, present.” He smiled at his companion and quickly undid the wrapping.
Daisuke waited for his friend to set eyes on Halo, the expansion edition for the computer. "I went and got myself a copy too. It's really addicting and good though."
Ken winked. “Thanks buddy. Wormmon will love you forever.”
"I'm glad you like it then. And I'm sure Wormmn will too," Daisuke amusedly replied, relieved. "We so have to play each other later, but movie now. Unless...well, how up to a movie, are you?"
The soccer player turned to his friend, studying him. "Is something wrong?"
Other teen ran his hand through his hair, then slightly gripped a bunch of strands as his hand slid far back as back of the ear. “Well. I don’t have anything against the movie, but I’d like to catch up with you first. I can’t exactly say nothing’s wrong, but I’d like to find out what’s been happening at your end.” He smiled weakly.
Daisuke paused. "Well...."
How to go about this? Hm, probably in his usual, blunt way. "Everything's been okay, I guess. I hung out with Iori and that was fun. And..uh...Miyako slapped me."
Ken blinked. “She slapped you? Man. I was afraid you’d do something rash.”
"You saw that coming?! Why didn't you warn me!" Daisuke exclaimed. He clutched his cheek even though it wasn't injured anymore. Not that it really was to begin with. Just a little soreness and ache for a while.
Ken shook his head. “Well… You didn’t exactly give me time to explain the detail, and just left without listening to me. “ Ken got up from the sofa, and walked toward the screen. “Want some tea or snacks? I’d rather have that annoying TV off though.”
Daisuke didn't answer. Looking down at his hands, he vaguely remembered when he had gotten a few of the faint scars there, from soccer mostly. "You know," he began, refusing to look up. "She still loves you."
“…I’ll go get us something to eat.” Ken turned around, and tried to escape to the kitchen.
This honestly was the last thing he needed.
Daisuke shooed off Chibimon who had wormed his way out of his bag ages ago. He figured the Digimon would go find Wormmon or something. His head shot up when Ken absconded to the kitchen. Frowning, Daisuke followed his friend.
"What's wrong?" he asked at last. "You're utterly avoiding the subject here."
“Perhaps.” He answered emotionlessly as he’s placed vanilla wafers on the dish.
Moving along, he picked up a few different tea packages. “Hnn. Which do you prefer, Daisuke? Green tea? Or Chai.”
"Chai," he answered without missing a beat. "She said she wouldn't move on...if you asked her not to."
Setting two tea bags into blue and orange cup, Green and Chai tea, paler of the two raised one of his eyebrows. Keeping his mouth shut in a single line, he brought out the white electrical kettle and filled it up with warm water.
Hearing no answer, Daisuke decided to continue on. He half-watched his friend from beneath his bangs, staring down at his own sock-clad feet. Sometimes, he wondered if it was even any of his business.
Opening his mouth, Daisuke snapped it shut again. Finally, he spoke, "Look, Ken...I think...she almost cried that day..."
The blue haired boy flinched visibly. He stared hard at the two cups sitting at the counter. A billion things crossed his mind. Black pain ebbed at his heart yet again and there was the burning sensation. Trace of anger was there, but overall, he was gripped by overwhelming sadness. Not knowing his own face, he just stared, stared hard into the two cups.
He was brought back to reality when the kettle cried out.
Pouring the water in the cup, he finally started, his voice small as a whisper.
“…Daisuke.”
Daisuke didn't think he had ever heard Ken's voice so quiet. It left him feeling unsettled, like waking up after a nightmare he just couldn't quiet remember. There was a taste of something akin to regret in his mouth, flat and yet not, almost indefinable.
Seeing the blue-haired boy flinch made Daisuke feel like a jerk. "Yeah Ken?" He asked quietly, looking down at his hands. He didn't like upsetting people.
The blue haired boy picked up the cup and turned around to face his friend. Trying hard at a smile, he suggested. “Let’s go sit down first.”
Nodding, Daisuke picked up his own cup, along with the wafers, and headed for the living room. Sitting, he set the things down, not really hungry or thirsty.
Ken settled himself on top of the sofa. He took a deep breath, and sighed out aloud.
There was a bit of awkward silence between the two, and the taller of the two avoided his friend’s eyes. To ease the tension, he stretched forcefully, and then dryly, he started.
“I don’t think we’ll get back together Daisuke.”
Daisuke watched the steam rise from his cup for a long moment. He glanced up at Ken, seeing the other own averted gaze. Cupping his drink, he felt the warmth seep into his hands, almost to the point of burning him but it didn't bother him. "Oh....why not?"
Ken watched the water as the green of the tea sipped and settled at the bottom of the cup. “I… don’t intend on it.”
Miyako would probably kill him later. Even if he was just the messenger.
"Even though she still feels for you?" he asked.
“Even if I still feel for her.” Ken stared hard at the water which was now completely green.
He finally took a sip of his own tea, finding the temperature easy on his tongue. "You don't?"
“I… do.” Ken said with a sigh. “But I was asked not to approach her.” He too, took a sip of his tea. It was bitter. “And even if the person didn’t ask me to, I wouldn’t have been able to. At least for awhile.” He put down the cup and pressed his temples.
“Not with everything that’s happened…” Ken straightened up and stared into blank screen of the TV.
Daisuke was startled. "Someone asked you to stay away from her?" The thought boggled the shorter teen's mind. It made no sense, no matter which way Daisuke looked at it.
But...it wasn't like even he knew the whole story. "What...did happen?" he finally ventured to ask.
“I first asked her out back in September. But I was stupid and avoided her answer for awhile. It was mortifying because I knew prior to the confession she had major crush on Izumi san.” Ken brought his hands together and settled it on his knee.
“Then at the Halloween concert I finally confronted her, and she said yes. At the time, I was being honest and I have told her how long I’ve had feelings for her.” He paused and took another sip of the bitter liquid.
“Then we had a date about a week after, it didn’t go well. She was feeling ill afterwards, and then I was away for a week for Osamu’s memorial. What went wrong there was I wasn’t able to contact her because I got in the car while I was half asleep, and when I got there… you know where Ichijouji main house is. Meantime, she was feeling insecure and I assume something happened. I’m not sure what, but on our second date she told me she still might have feelings for Izumi san.”
Ken shifted his gaze to floor. “So we broke off our relationship at that point, and that was fine.”
"How...complicated," Daisuke muttered. He told himself to never get into something so convoluted and snapped his attention back to his friend. "But there's more to it than that, I take it?"
Breaking off his eye contact with the floor Ken nodded. He continued, after a pause.
“I…guess fine isn’t the right word. I acted as I was okay but it was quite a blow. Imagine Hikari san, dumping you after second date saying she still has feelings for Takeru, AFTER you’ve told her how serious you were.”
Daisuke winced. "I do...I do imagine that sometimes. But...I want to take that risk anyways," he smiled slightly, thinking of Hikari. "But...go on, Ken."
“And I’m sure Hikari san would never do such thing. She would probably think hard about her answers and give you the most sincere one.” Ken nodded as the image of his friend
crossed his mind.
“But it’s okay. I still was willing to accept her, only in time. After all, I didn’t want her to return to me just because she was turned down, and I’m the safe bet. After all, I was turned down once, and I didn’t want that to happen again. What if she wasn’t entirely sure of her feelings when I’ve accepted her?” Ken shook his head. “Perhaps I should’ve just accepted her none-the-less, and acted on slightest hint, but I…wasn’t kind enough…” He picked up a wafer and munched on it. It tasted like brick. He washed it down with bitter tea.
“Then we were off for about a month and a half… and I heard that she is trying to win me back at the Christmas party, and she was giving me subtle hints. Still, I had no intention of getting back together with her right away, but I thought make-over was quite unnecessary. I couldn’t help but feel that she was trying to rush things. Because you know. I like her because she is herself. She didn’t need to try hard.” A pause. “However, it was flattering.”
Daisuke took a sip of his tea, recycling all the information Ken had just laid out on the table. All he could think was 'Poor Miyako...' He could still remember all the emotions, hanging thick in the air. The telltale shine in her eyes, revealing her unshed tears.
I guess...I owe her an apology, he told himself. Would he ever learn? This jumping to conclusions business...would get him more than just a slap one day.
Ken continued, as his companion kept his mouth shut in a single line.
“…Before the party, she said she wanted to talk to me. Then when I got to the hospital, I saw her walking out with her older brother, her face messed up with tears. I wanted to approach her, but my attempts were futile as I was brushed off by both her and her brother. It worried me, but I decided that I should perhaps let her calm down first. Then she was grounded, and I contacted after some days asking if I should take her up on the ‘talk’, and drop off the presents. Then she said she didn’t want to see me.” Ken tried to keep his voice neutral. “I…got a little annoyed at this point so I replied harshily and went to her place anyways, to just drop off the present. Her sister insisted I try to talk to her since she was being moody.”
"And...what happened then?" He thought that perhaps things got worse. After all, the rift between the two seemed indelible at this point. Daisuke wanted to tell Ken he could stop. But...perhaps it would help for his friend to get it all out.
He started with his voice low. “First she asked why I was there, her voice uninviting. Then, she asked me to come in, leaving me completely confused. Then…” Ken drew his breath back, sharply, as he recalled the hammering shock he felt at the time. “She told me to get over her.”
Daisuke was taken aback. He hadn't expected Ken to say that. And all he had to say in response was a flat, short, "Oh..."
Clenching his teeth, the blue haired boy continued. “Getting turned down once was enough, but twice was insulting, as much as it was hurting. But I tried to keep it in me, and turned around to take my leave, then she gripped my sleeve saying …“Don’t go...” He brought a hand to his heart, trying to get a hold on his emotions. He could felt his eyes getting hot, and moist. “I tried to leave again, yet she uttered that phrase one more time. And I…blew up.”
Feeling his cheeks being heated up as he felt flushed, Ken shook his head, totally engulfed by rush emotion. “She, She said there was something I need to know and I acted horribly abrasive towards her.” In frustration, he gripped his hair. “I don’t know what was in me, but when I finally calmed down, she, she was in a corner.” He was silent for a minute before he started again.
“…She looked so…frail…with her shoulders so small.” His voice was trembling.
“I felt ashamed, sad, pathetic, and somehow disappointed all at once. At her, At myself!” He choked up his words in heat. “Then…I just had to ask her, though I was much more calm, What it was that I needed to know.”
There was a moment of silence.
“She told me she had kissed another and the person who didn’t wanted to date her at the time.” Ken spat out. Then he buried his head in his arms.
Daisuke wanted to tell Ken to stop. That he didn't need to continue anymore. But every time he tried to say something, the words fizzled in his throat. Setting his tea down, Daisuke sat down next to Ken and laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. It felt a little awkward; he wasn't used to such sensitive displays.
But he realized it didn’t matter how he felt.
Ken needed his friend right now. He patted the older boy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, voice quiet and almost emotionless. “You don’t have to say anymore. I’m sorry, Ken.”
He felt useless. He felt like he shouldn’t have brought anything up. And now it was all out in the open. It was all he could do to repeat those words. Words that felt worthless on his tongue.
Ken cried the tears he has suppressed for far too long the length of time, surprising even himself as tears just flew. It had been over a month since it had happen, yet he wondered why the wound hurt so much, especially when he has even thought about million different hypothesis about how Miyako would’ve felt, and how she feels now. He remembers troubled look and the blank shock displayed on her face, as he left, saying he cannot trust her anymore. Him refusing, even to accept the act of apology, perhaps might have been sincere confession of how special he was to her.
Feeling Daisuke’s hand was comforting, yet each time “I’m sorry” has hit his eardrums Ken couldn’t stop but feeling the gap between him and his best friend. He was truly thankful Daisuke was here to listen to him, listen to how he felt, and perhaps how he even feels now, but as he sensed emotionless-ness of his companion’s voice, he couldn’t help but feeling like he’s hit the brick wall.
He can’t feel what I feel.
True sadness, true aloneness. Upon realizing the fact, he felt himself emerged in lukewarm feeling of sadness. Though he knew all humans are alone, by logic, it was this moment that he truly felt it.
…Realizing this, he found himself becoming surprisingly calm, as his companion kept on speaking.
Daisuke heard the tears and looked down at his other hand, lying useless in his lap. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a pack of tissues. Pulling out a tissue, he pressed it into Ken's hands.
He rubbed slow circles into the other's back, wishing he had some other method of comfort to employ, wishing he could staunch the tears.
The soccer player knew it was pointless to tell his friend to stop crying. It never helped and it never worked. Instead, he let Ken cry.
“Thanks.” Ken took the tissue, and wiped his face. Raising his head up, he smiled to Daisuke. “God, this is embarrassing. Crying like a girl.” He reached for another tissue and wiped out the excess of moistness that was remaining on his face. Then, he looked straight at Daisuke, and spoke, his tone sincere. “Thanks Daisuke.”
He looked away after a moment. "For what?" Daisuke asked, words tinged with a touch of bitterness. "I haven't done anything but cause trouble."
Ken shook his head. “No. You helped me get it out. I haven’t cried so much even when I was alone.” His wits were back on him now he was feeling relieved, and much calmer. Reviewing his friend’s state, Ken said his voice now reassuring. “You haven’t caused any trouble. In fact you’ve helped me confirm what I have sorted out.” He paused for a moment and looked at Daisuke in the eyes. “So don’t blame yourself. Instead, I’d like you to let me talk just a little bit more.”
Daisuke frowned a little. "Well...I'm certainly not going to tell you that you can't talk, Ken. That'd be ridiculous." He nodded and gestured for his friend to continue. "However long it takes, whatever you need to say, just go ahead."
Ken smiled again, at his friend’s response. “Thanks.” He then sighed, and brought his hand to his face, corners of his lips still curled. “Truthfully speaking, I’m as worried about how you see me after all this talk, as much as I feel the need to talk, and straighten some things out- so at least one person’ll know my point of view.” Though it would be unrealistic to expect you to completely understand what I feel now… Ken bit his lips.
“Being caught up, at what’s happened, especially when what she has said after the words that struck me so hard might be true, is frustrating.” He started, his voice calm.
“After that confession, she has told me I was special. Special to her. Though at the time I found it utterly impossible to believe. After all, how would someone be able to say things that important, so lightly? …But I realize now that’s me looking at things in my point of view only, for someone like Miyako, who feels things vibrantly and quickly, it might be different. Perhaps every words she couldn’t chose carefully, might be too obvious of a clue to figuring out what she really feels.”
He breathed in. “She wasn’t as strong as I perceived her to be, and I learned she was a fragile,valnurable person who’s also clumsy, just as I am.”
The blue haired teen raised his hand and stared at back of his hand. “I don’t regret this whole ordeal, and I do understand I have my faults, but I am still not yet ready to go back into romantic relationship with her. Not to mention I was asked to keep away.” He shut his eyes. “Though, I have to admit I miss her friendship terribly.”
He withdrew his hand. “So I’m more sad about the loss of friendship, though I am at loss of words of how I should approach it.” He continued his eyes still closed. “Especially when I was asked to keep away, and especially when there’s a great risk, of her taking it as me being ready for relationship. That’ll only result in hurting us both.”
“Talking to her right now, giving her false hopes… That’ll be spoiling her. I want to see her stand up, and make her own decisions, instead of relying others and letting things happen.”
Ken smiled sadly. “So I’ll keep at distance, and see how it goes. The wound is still fresh, and I still am in love with her, but right now, just isn’t the time.” And perhaps never- He thought to himself as pang of sadness was felt, as he was reminded of Iori’s sincere plea.
“I just hope…that we’d be able to look at each other straight, someday, and laugh… Recalling all these, and commenting how silly the whole deal was.”
He concluded, with a true smile, accompanied with soft wetness about his eyes.
"All you can do is wait then," Daisuke finally said, letting Ken have his say and getting it all out. "One of the guys on the soccer team....had a break up with his girlfriend. They were such good friends before they dated too. They...didn't talk to each other for over a year."
"Maybe...you both need time away, time to grow up a little." Daisuke handed Ken the rest of the tissues.
“No thanks.” Ken softly pushed away the offering hand, and let the last single drop of tear roll. “Perhaps.” Ken smiled, though in his head, he thought it’ll never happen. Though it would probably still sting, if he had looked them together, Ken truly wished Iori good luck. Ken held great respect towards the younger chosen, and was aware of his strengths though they were not the best of the friends. Perhaps, just perhaps he would be able to cherish her, without hurting her. After all, he had known her longer than Ken himself, and chance still new.
“But it’s okay. She’s in good hands now.” Ken smiled.
Ken got up and stretched. “Aaah, that was a lot of talking. I don’t know about you, but I feel hungry.”
Daisuke wondered how Ken could just seem to almost turn off his emotions like that. He knew that he'd never be able to do that. But he let it go anyway.
Getting up, Daisuke nodded and headed for the kitchen. If Ken didn't want to talk about it, he could go with that. He froze, blinking as he took in the scene in the kitchen.
"Chibimon!" He exclaimed as he found his Digimon happily munching on cookies while Wormmon looked a little queasy.
“Wormmon!” Ken rushed to his small friend and picked him up gently, “You should be sleeping…” With worried look on his face, Ken gazed at his partner.
Wormmon looked at Ken pitifully. "It was cold without you though, Ken-chan." He burrowed further onto Ken's arms, thriving on the warmth.
Ken patted his partner’s head as Chibimon started talking with mouthful. “Daisuke!” The little blue dinosaur perked right up, and brought up the cookie in his right hand. “This is deeeeeeeelish! Do you want one?”
Daisuke could only shake his head, laughing. "You're going to be bouncing off the walls all night," he predicted.
Wormmon made a happy little noise, preening under Ken's attention. "Are you going to sleep soon, Ken-chan? I don't wanna...sweep without you." He yawned mid sentence, slurring his words a little.
Ken furrowed his brows, though his lips were still smiling. He eyed Daisuke shortly before answering Wormmon’s question. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep soon since they’re so energetic, “ he paused, turning his body to give Wormmon a better access of vision. “But I’ll tuck you in the bed. Is that okay?”
Chibimon chirped. “You bet! And you should be bouncing with me ‘coz Wormmon’s sleepy!”
The energetic digimon did a summersault, accidentally knocking the cookie jar down.
Daisuke quickly caught the cookie jar as it fell off the counter. This certainly wasn't the first time Chibimon had accidentally hit something over. He set it up right as Wormmon spoke up again.
"Okay, Ken-chan," he happily complied and hugged Ken as best he could with his limited mobility. --
Though the Digimon knew that he would be up, waiting for Ken, not matter how long it took for Ken to go to sleep.
Returning the warm hug, Ken turned around to face Daisuke. “I’ll be right back.” He oriented himself towards the bedroom.
As Ken moved away to tuck Wormmon into the bed, Chibimon nudged Daisuke.
“Thanks.” Tilting his head to the side and lowering his voice in a whisper, Chibimon continued. “Think he noticed?” Training level digimon eyed the cookie jar almost curiously.
Daisuke grinned at Chibimon. "No worries, I got your back, Chibimon. But no more cookies though. You need to wind down, not get all hyped up, silly."
Wormmon was tempted to ask Ken for a story as well, but he decided not to push it. Instead, all he could manage was a slightly wavering 'good night'.
Sensing the hesitation in his friend’s voice, the blue haired boy leaned in, measuring the temperature with his forehead. “Make sure to get some sleep.” Straightening up his body, the teen grabbed another blanket the little insect type monster up. “Wormmon.” He called as he lowered the lights. “We’ll go shopping for new storybooks once you get all better. Okay?” He grinned.
The blue digimon tumbled down from the counter and jumped up and down in excitement. “Daisuke, Daaaisuke! Let’s play soccer!” Chibimon urged, somehow getting a hold of little sponge soccer ball that was located on the sofa.
Daisuke laughed and shook his head. "Not at one in the morning, I think, Chibimon. Maybe in the morning? 'Sides, Ken and I need to do alot of catching up."
Wormmon nodded meekly. He smiled happily at the thought of new storybooks. He always liked it when Ken read the books to him, and he liked it even better when they went shopping for them.
Ken turned on the night light, and gave his friend’s hand a sqeeze before exiting. He dragged his feet at the door, for he was certain his friend didn’t wanted to be alone. But he also knew Wormmon needed a rest. “Good night.” Ken exited, feeling guilty. He took a mental note to make it up to him somehow.
“Awww… Okay. I’ll play by myself!” Chibimon shook his head, almost falling forward. He kicked up the sponge ball and heading-ed it to the wall. The ball squeaked with a “pi” sound, and Chibimon brightened up, and rushed to it. “Oooh!” With his eyes shining, he started kicking the ball around.
Daisuke shook his head helplessly. He ran after Chibimon and stole the ball away, getting into the game. "Come on, Chibimon, betcha can't get the ball from me!" He teased.
Wormmon sniffed a little, still feeling the remnants of illness in him. The scent of Ken on the bed made him feel a little better though. Even when Ken wasn't around, there were traces of him, and it made Wormmon feel better.
“No fair Daisukeee-“ Chibimon pouted. “Play the Golie game again!” I’ll shoot the ball between your legs!” Chibimon protested, jumping up and down.
"Not now, Chibimon. We might break something again. Remember how mom got mad last time....?" Daisuke reminded him. "We'll play it outside in the morning, all right?"
“Okay!Then I’ll go sleep with Wormmon.” The perky creature turned around with a bright smile plastered on his face. He waddled his way to the white door Ken had entered. Catching the boy making his way out Chibimon winked. “I’ll keep Wormmon’s company!” He bounced up and down and hurriedly entered. Then he bounced himself up onto the bed. “Woooormmon~” He latched onto his friend.
Daisuke chuckled at the Digimon's antics. He set the ball down and waited for Ken to come back. He was sure, despite seeing the unhappy look on Wormmon's face earlier, that Chibimon would inevitably cheer the other Digimon up.
Wormmon heard the other Digimon coming but was too slow to react and then next thing he knew, he had one Chibimon-sized lump attached to him. "Hi Chibimon," he replied, not in the least bit sleepy anymore, without Ken around.
“Oooh you’re warm. Let’s get some sleep. In the morning we play soccer!” The blue lump said everything in a quick single sentence and tightened his grip on his friend. “Good night!” Within 5 seconds the mammal type monster was out cold.
Ken closed the white door and made his way towards his friend.
“Sorry for the wait Daisuke.” He settled himself down on the comfort of couch.
Wormmin blinked, unable to catch all of that. The next thing he knew, Chibimon was out like a light. Yet he lay there in the dimly-lit room, feeling Chibimon next to him and unable to shake the odd feeling away. Chibimon just wasn't Ken.
The goggle boy grinned. "Hey, no problem, man." "What am I gonna do at 1am? Study?" He laughed a little,feeling more relaxed than like earlier when the tension had been palpable and thick in the air, oppressive and awkward.