MONO!!
So I went to the doctor, aka hell, to find out what the crap is wrong with me and what did they say? Well they did some blood tests and what do I have of all horrible things? Infectious Mononucleosis...MONO!! AAAAHHHHH! How the hell did I get mono and what bastard gave it to me? So the next few weeks should be pure misery. In the meantime I shall track down the evil that gave me this disease and plan some sort of assassination. (are there two asses is assasination?) Yeeeessss...