FIC: I Would Rather Be with the People of This Team, Than w/ the Finest People in the World (Part 2)
***
Tosh crouched on her knees for one more moment, then, taking a deep breath, she shifted onto her feet, first her right, then her left. She resolutely did not look down, but clutched Jack’s left hand even harder as she slowly raised her right to feel the trapdoor.
“Jack? I think it’s a simple bolt. I bet I could get more leverage if you shifted a pace or two to the left.”
Jack raised his eyebrows at her, not that she could see from that angle. “You want to come back down while I move?”
Tosh bit her lip. “Yes,” she said in a small voice. She slowly lowered herself down until she was sitting on his shoulders. This was a whole new experience for Tosh. Her father had had a bad back, and her mother was not the kind to toss her daughter up in the air. She absently patted the top of Jack’s head as he shuffled his feet to the left.
“Ready to try again?” he called up to her.
“Okay.”
The next time wasn’t so bad. Tosh reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet, fishing out a credit card. She carefully slid it through the wooden slats and proceeded to jimmy the bolt back. It was surprisingly easy. Her credit card didn’t even get too badly banged up. However, when she gave the door a mighty heave and it sprung open, six Kallyps peered down into the hole at them. Shit.
***
Jack was a pretty big guy, for a human, and rather strong. The Kallyps, on the other hand, were smaller than Tosh but they must inject steroids or something because one Kallyp reached down, plucked Tosh from Jack’s shoulders and threw her over his own while another Kallyp flew in (even upside down Tosh was excited to get an explanation for the air in her face when they had first been deposited in the cell), and scooped Jack up. They didn’t bother with blindfolds this time, and Jack debated fighting his way clear and over to Tosh, but another dozen Kallyps rounded the corner then and started jabbering to their captors. They spoke English, in slightly slurred accents.
“We have attracted the attention of a local dragon seller! Come, come, bring these two; he wants to make sure they can take good care of his dragon! The Captain bids you come. Come, come!”
Jack shot Tosh a questioning look. She had heard the same thing he had heard, right? Tosh shrugged her shoulders at him.
They were carried into a large hall. If Jack squinted, he could see bits of the meeting hall that had hosted the WCPFLC’s breakfast bleeding through. He darted a quick glance at Tosh, and smiled. She had That Look on her face, and her lips were moving. He edged a bit closer with a pretence of tying his shoe and heard her whisper, “. . . we would have to prevent them from following us . . .”
His Kallyp captors tugged at his arms, and Jack stood with a sigh. All around them, the Kallyps stood at attention, focused on a passage at the far end of the hall. It widened suddenly, and the shortest Kallyp yet strode through talking animatedly to the local dragon seller and his two guards. Jack felt a pool of drool appear at the corner of his mouth, but he couldn’t help it. The local dragon seller was Ianto. Ianto in a tuxedo. Jack was starting to feel a little light-headed as all of the blood left his head in a rush. It was not fair. Tosh elbowed him sharply in the ribs, and with a great effort, Jack pulled his mind away from thoughts of peeling off that tux, unbuttoning all those tiny buttons and licking . . . Tosh stepped firmly on his foot.
“Yes, of course, Wales is home to many species of dragon, but the Welsh Red is definitely the most majestic,” Ianto was saying. “Now these are your dragon feeders, I take it? I won’t be selling any of my dragons to someone who can’t handle it. You, Sir!” he barked suddenly at Jack. “Can you handle a Welsh dragon? Can you step up and take on that commitment?”
Jack wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. Preferably by snogging it off. He smiled. “You just let me get my hands on your dragon. I’m sure you’ll be very satisfied.”
Next to Ianto, Owen rolled his eyes. He felt like a right twat in this riot gear, but Ianto had insisted they take precautions in case they came across any real dragons with the Kallyps. Gwen wore her gear with authority, and had even pulled her hair back in a ponytail to show that she Meant Business. Right now she was trying to catch Tosh’s eye and draw her attention to their host’s upper right arm. They had spotted Jack’s wriststrap on him when they had first arrived, but now his cape was covering it up.
“My dragon needs to feel in control of his feeding time. I’ve found that scratching his neck before you feed him makes him docile,” Ianto continued. The entire hall heard Jack swallow hard.
“I’ll keep that in mind. How big is your dragon? May I ride him?”
Ianto’s lips curled into a smile. “If you’re good, he’ll let you ride him.”
Tosh’s face flamed as she finally realized what they were saying. Gwen kept staring at her, and she blushed even harder. It wasn’t her fault she hadn’t been following the innuendo! She was trying to work on a plan, dammit!
The Kallyp Captain clasped his hands together. “So, what do you think, Mr. Jones? Do they please you?”
Ianto turned to the little alien. “Very much so.”
The Kallyp beamed. “Excellent! Now, let us talk of payment. I am prepared to offer you ten barrels of oil for your dragon.”
Ianto blinked.
The Kallyp held up his arms in a placating gesture. Tosh gasped as her eyes finally caught sight of the wriststrap.
“Now, that was just an estimate! I’m sure I could go higher. Name your price.”
Ianto hesitated. “Twelve barrels, and that little gadget there,” he said, pointing out the wriststrap.
The Kallyp frowned. “I must be honest with you, we think it is broken.”
“That may be, but I think it looks sexy and I’d like it on my arm.”
Owen couldn’t help it. He had to roll his eyes again. Jack was watching Ianto with burning eyes, and Owen was a little surprised that none of the Kallyps had caught on to the tangible taste of lust in the air. It was overpowering the smell of laverbread, which kept flicking in from Earth.
The Kallyp Captain pulled off the wriststrap and handed it over to Ianto, then turned and gestured to twelve of his guards. They left, presumably to get the twelve barrels of oil. “Will you get your dragon now, then?” he asked Ianto.
“He’s right here.” Ianto reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic red dragon keychain. “He has shrunk himself for convenience.”
“Amazing!” the Kallyp exclaimed. “Come here, you two, and meet your new charge.”
Jack and Tosh stepped forward. The Kallyp was distracted by his keychain, the other Kallyps were watching him, and Ianto tood advantage of the distraction to surreptitiously slip the wriststrap back on Jack’s arm. Jack’s skin burned at the touch, and his mouth parted in anticipation.
Ianto looked away. “My guards have to get a couple of carts for the barrels. How do we get out?” he casually asked the Kallyp.
“Oh, I’ve made this room permeable for the next ten minutes. They can just walk right out and back in,” he experimentally stroked the keychain.
Ianto smiled. “Brilliant.”
At that, Team Torchwood turned heel and hoofed it to the door. The Kallyps didn’t realize what was happening at first, and when they did, they hesitated further at the sight of Gwen and Owen pulling out their batons and waving them threateningly behind them. Jack reached the door first and shoved it open with his shoulder. Tosh and Ianto, Gwen and Owen came spilling out behind him. He could hear the Kallyp Captain’s voice, perplexed, after them, “I thought you’d want the oil?”
Jack slammed the door shut.
“Quickly, Jack, lock that thing!” Tosh gasped, gesturing to his wriststrap. He hit a couple of buttons, and they distinctly heard a thump against the door as a Kallyp was stopped from coming through.
Owen turned to Tosh. “Okay, Tosh. How do we prevent them from coming back?”
Tosh pushed her hair out of her face. “I have a couple of things at the Hub that I think would work. He’s causing a spatial shift, see, and he needs an anchor to work off. We could fool his machine, I wish I had gotten to see it, into thinking that this place is unstable. It’s about chaos, actually - ”
“Stop.” Owen held up his hand. “I don’t want to know how. I just want to know that you’re going to fix it.”
Tosh looked a little crestfallen.
Gwen laughed, and pulled her into a hug. “Don’t pay any attention to him. What he meant to say was ‘Tosh, you’re brilliant. I’m so glad you’re back.’”
Owen grimaced, but then turned to Tosh and said, “Tosh, you’re brilliant. I’m so glad you’re back.”
Tosh smiled slightly. “Thanks.”
***
Later that night, after Jack had locked all the doors in the meeting hall with his wriststrap and Tosh had set up her fake “Beacon of Chaos” (copyright Owen), Jack finally got Ianto down into his quarters, spread out on the bed, and had the opportunity to peel off the tuxedo.
“Why did you change into the tuxedo?” Jack asked, teeth pulling at the perfectly knotted bowtie.
“All the fancy dragon sellers are wearing them,” Ianto replied flippantly.
Jack just looked at him, and began to nibble along his neck, fingers working on all those tiny buttons.
“Owen and Gwen got to play dress up, too,” Ianto changed tack.
Jack raised an eyebrow, and turned his attention to the trousers, running his fingers up the silk braids from ankle to hip.
Ianto closed his eyes. “I knew you’d like it,” he admitted.
Jack kissed him, wet and deep and rather messy and full of want. “Thanks,” he finally breathed when he had enough air.
Ianto smiled and laid his head back on the pillow. “I aim to please.”
Jack’s eyes took on a familiar gleam. He opened his mouth, but was stopped by Ianto’s finger.
“No. No dragon-rider jokes. I mean it,” Ianto said firmly.
“Okay, okay!” Jack paused. “But I still get to, right?”
Ianto looked him in the eye. “Please do.”