why cant i sleep?

[blue_eyes_blunt]

so tonight i cant sleep like i cant its impossible.. so i went on google and searched my name my dads name blah blah blah.. but then i searched this girl whom i miss alot.. Elyssa Meyers. She was so beautiful. I will always be mad at her for leaving on such a bad note. But i will always remember her on a good one. i still cant believe what happened. i just cant see it happening not on the perfect north shore of chicago.. uhh. but sadly you could expect it.. but not from her. i feel really bad for her mom because her mom had this happen to her when she was 16. her best friend commited suicide and now she has to relive that. i wish i could blame everyone.. because i know one of the reasons she did it is because she felt like nothing.. all the teasing and torment and hell from her peers.. i wish she would have called me to talk because i know how she felt. and it didnt have to end like this. i still remember her beautiful eyes and smile she was gorgous. ok i should stop.. i just always think about her. i try not to show that it upsets me though cause i dont think where i am anyone truely understands how it can like stop your world and question why your still living.

I love you ELYSSA and I always will.. I just wish that when I go back to Chicago in 2 weeks that you would still be there. Im sorry I wasnt there for you more. You know how it was.. I just had to leave.

XOXO whitney