Bits of a puzzle, fitting each other: Part three
That evening sees Merlin sitting in the corner of the local. He’s early - Gaius had kicked him out of the shop before his shift was over, announcing him no good to anyone, the state he was in. Now his knee jiggles as he waits and his fingers fiddle with the menu that he knows off by heart.
Every time the door jangles open Merlin jumps. When Arthur actually walks through the door Merlin’s so worked up he almost falls out of his seat.
“Didn’t expect you here before me,” Arthur says as a greeting.
“I was very early.” Merlin shrugs, realising his brain has stopped working.
“Right,” Arthur says quietly. He still hasn’t sat down. “Do you want a drink?”
“Just a coke, please.”
Arthur nods and returns with two pints of coke. Merlin is gratified to see Arthur isn’t drinking either.
“Thank you,” Merlin mutters as Arthur places the glass in front of him, and he takes a sip, shuddering a bit at how cold it is.
“So, you wanted to talk,” Arthur says.
“I think we need to, yeah.”
“Nothing has changed on my part,” Arthur says. “I love you, and I love him.”
Merlin looks at him, surprised to see Arthur open, clearly comfortable with how he’s feeling now. “Right,” Merlin says.
“You said that you weren’t sure what you felt for him. Have you figured it out?”
Merlin takes a deep breath, and reminds himself that Arthur managed to admit to this, and now it’s Merlin’s turn.
“I have feelings for him, too. I’m not sure - it’s more than friendship, it’s certainly romantic. It might be love, but I’m not sure.”
There’s a pause, both of them lost in their thoughts.
“We’re really bad at communication, aren’t we?” Arthur asks.
Merlin huffs a laugh, “I guess. We’ll have to work on it, if we decide to continue.”
“If? Merlin, I don’t want to break up with you.” Arthur reaches across the table and grabs Merlin’s hand.
“And I don’t either, but what about Gwaine?” Merlin asks, turning his hand over so he can hold Arthur’s.
“Gwaine? I have no idea.”
“Can you ignore how you feel about him? Break off the threesome thing and move on?”
“I don’t think I could. Could you?”
Merlin shakes his head. “So what now? We’ve established that we like Gwaine and aren’t really willing to not be involved with him...I’m not sure what to do next. We can’t go back to how we were.”
“We talk to Gwaine. And we go from there,” Arthur says, squeezing Merlin’s hand. “It’s pointless even thinking about the next step if Gwaine doesn’t feel anything for us.”
~~~
They arrange to meet in a cafe, neutral ground. They order tea and sit round a plastic table.
“Ok,” Gwaine says. He’s feeling incredibly uncomfortable right now. He would have much preferred not to have spoken about this, just try to move on. He’s not sure what to expect from this conversation (other than rejection) and he has no idea what they will expect from him.
“So,” Arthur says, “I’m not sure the best way to say this.”
“We should start,” Merlin says. “I think we’ve kept Gwaine out of the loop, recently.”
“Yeah,” Gwaine says, looking from one to the other.
“We’re sorry.”
Gwaine shrugs. “You’ve needed to work stuff out.”
“It’s not fine. We should’ve handled it better,” Merlin says.
“And have you sorted it?” Gwaine asks.
“We’re ok,” Arthur says, smiling and taking Merlin’s hand.
Gwaine nods. He’s glad they’ve managed to pull through. Gwaine takes a drink and waits for the ‘it was fun, but we should stop now, we can still be friends’ speech. “That’s good.”
“But we could be better, we think,” Arthur says.
“Oh?” Gwaine looks from one to the other. He has no idea what the fuck is going on, but he really hopes it won’t take long. He just wants to get out of here as quickly as possible.
Arthur looks at Merlin, who nods. He takes a deep breath and looks at Gwaine.
“We both have feelings for you,” Arthur says.
“Both of you?” Gwaine says, blinking in shock. “Hang on - feelings? What?”
“Yeah.” Merlin nods. “That’s what we’ve been talking about.”
“What?” Gwaine asks again, because neither of them are explaining things well.
“We both have feelings for you. Romantic ones,” Merlin clarifies.
There’s a shocked silence.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say,” Gwaine replies, heart thumping. “I mean, yeah, I like you two, a lot.”
“Well, that’s good?” Arthur asks.
“Is it?” Gwaine asks, confused and irritated.
“Look, I’m just saying, if we’re all romantically interested in each other, then we can work with that.” Arthur leans forward.
“We can be in relationship, if we all wanted,” Merlin adds.
“The three of us?” Gwaine asks.
“Yeah, it’s possible. I did some research while I was trying to sort my head out.”
“Research,” Gwaine says. His brain is whirling, and he’s dizzy from the shift in his expectations. He’d envisioned this conversation many times since they planned this meeting, and none of them had gone like this.
“On polyamory.” Arthur nods. “And we could give it a go, if we wanted to.”
“Look, I’m going to need to think about it,” Gwaine says. “You two have clearly had time to think this through, but I didn’t. I just assumed you two would get over it, and we’d all move on.”
“Of course.” Merlin nods, shifting closer to Arthur. Gwaine gets up and walks out of the cafe.
He walks the long way home, turning down streets almost at random. He has no idea what to think, where to start. Of all the scenarios he was expecting, a declaration of - of romantic intent was not on the list at all.
~~~
Gwaine opens his front door to see Merlin standing there. It’s been a few days since Gwaine has seen him; most of that time he’s been juggling work and trying to get his head around what Merlin and Arthur said, what they offered him.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi,” Gwaine replies, shocked.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure, of course,” Gwaine says, jolting into movement. He steps back and lets Merlin in.
“I know you’re probably still thinking about what we talked about at the cafe, but I wanted to speak to you some more.”
“Right,” Gwaine says, leading the way to the living room.
“I know it’s a shock - it came as a shock to all of us, I think,” Merlin says, smiling wryly.
“You can say that again,” Gwaine whispers.
“I know it’s a bit overwhelming, thinking about polyamory and things like that. Arthur’s a planner. Once he’s found a solution to an issue he wants to go for it as soon as possible. It’s brilliant for pretty much everything, but sometimes not so much interpersonally.”
“Yeah, I’m not even sure what I’m feeling, never mind wanting to go head first into a relationship.” Gwaine looks at Merlin, watches disappointment flicker over his face quickly. “Wait, sorry, I’m not being clear. I like you two, I do, I just. This is huge, what you’re suggesting. I didn’t even want a two person relationship, never mind something that’s going to be more complicated. I just want to be sure before I start - I think we all deserve that.”
Merlin smiles softly, and nods. “I’m here to offer a compromise, maybe something with a little less pressure.”
“I’m listening,” Gwaine says.
“Come and spend some time with us. We’re good at doing that. We can’t fall into a relationship like we could if there was only two of us, but we can make steps. Like a date night?” Merlin finishes.
“A date night,” Gwaine says, considering the idea.
“Yeah, we can have food, watch a film? Curl up on the sofa, maybe end up in the bedroom, but not necessarily?”
Gwaine nods. “Sounds nice,” he says. Merlin beams at him.
“Good. So we can do that, do some more reading, talk about it, and make a decision from there?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“That’s what I thought. Come over Thursday, say 8?”
Gwaine nods. “I’ll be there.”
~~~
It feels odd to be doing this - like they’re doing everything backwards. Gwaine knocks on the door to Merlin and Arthur’s flat.
“Hi,” Arthur says, letting him in.
“Hi,” Gwaine replies. He’s nervous, which is ridiculous, really, because he knows them already, has already spent plenty of time in this flat with the two of them.
“Ok, so. Do you want a drink?” Arthur says, heading down the hall.
“Water’s fine,” Gwaine says, wincing at how polite he’s being. Arthur smiles back at him, but it’s self-depreciating, like he knows what Gwaine’s thinking and agrees.
Gwaine heads into the living room and sits on the chair. He smiles at Merlin who’s sitting on the sofa, idly flicking through the channels.
“Hi, you ok?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Nervous?”
“No,” Gwaine says.
“Liar,” Merlin says, without heat. “Help me pick a film.”
Gwaine stares at their pile of DVDs. “Spaceballs.”
“Absurd space humour. Fair enough.” Merlin nods. Arthur walks back into the living room with a tray of glasses and a pack of Doritos hanging from his teeth. “Arthur, put Spaceballs on.”
“Yes, sir,” Arthur replies.
They settle in and watch the film, passing the Doritos back and forth. It’s a bit stilted at first, but before long Gwaine has relaxed into a sprawl on the chair. They pause for a bathroom break and Merlin pets his hair as he walks past. Gwaine smiles, feeling a jolt in his stomach at the casual touch.
They talk and joke as the closing credits roll.
“I need to head back, work and everything,” Gwaine says, reluctantly.
“I’ll give you a lift, if you want,” Arthur offers.
“That’d be great.”
Arthur nods and pulls on his shoes. Merlin does the same.
“I want to come, too.” Merlin shrugs.
They pull up outside Gwaine’s place, and there’s an awkward end-of-night moment. Gwaine decides it’s time to be a bit brave, given how Merlin and Arthur were willing to put their feelings out in the open. He leans across and kisses Arthur, who makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat. It is mostly chaste, a brush of lips, but it’s a statement. Merlin leans forward between the seats and Gwaine kisses him, too.
“So, I’ll see you soon,” Gwaine says.
“Definitely,” Arthur replies.
Gwaine gets out of the car and Merlin hops into the recently vacated front seat. Gwaine waves as the car pulls away, grinning broadly.
~~~
From: Gwaine
To: Arthur
So we’d be a Triad?
Gwaine sends the text after reading what felt like every page mentioning polyamory on the internet. He’s intrigued by the concept, and he’s definitely tempted by it. It looks like a lot of work, but rewarding, if they can pull it off. The fact that Merlin and Arthur are also willing to put in the work to fit him into their relationship is pretty brilliant.
From: Arthur
To: Gwaine
Yeah, probably. Unless you wanted something else.
From: Gwaine
To: Arthur
Like what?
From: Arthur
To: Gwaine
No idea. Would you want to sleep with women occasionally?
From: Gwaine
To: Arthur
I’m coming over.
When Gwaine arrives as the flat, Merlin lets Gwaine in.
“This is far too complicated,” Gwaine complains, flopping down into the armchair.
“We can figure it out,” Merlin says, perching on the arm of Gwaine’s chair. “We just need to sort out what we want.”
“So, I assume we’re going for this, then?” Arthur asks.
“I think we should give it a go,” Gwaine says. Merlin grins widely
“I don’t think I want to sleep with women,” Gwaine says, answering the earlier question. “If we’re going to do this monogamously then it’s not really a question we need to answer,” Gwaine says. “If I was going to be in a relationship with just one man, I wouldn’t be sleeping with women then.”
Arthur and Merlin are silent for a moment.
“I like the idea of us being monogamous,” Arthur says.
Merlin nods. “I mean, if it becomes an issue, we could talk about it then?” Merlin suggests.
Gwaine shrugs. “Lets just get now sorted first, yeah?”
Merlin nods. “So, we’re going for it, then.”
“We are. So what now?” Gwaine asks.
“We talk it out,” Arthur says.
“That’s definitely one thing we need to talk about. Being better at communicating,” Merlin says. Arthur nods, shifting slightly. Merlin just smiles. “And yeah, it would’ve been better if we’d all handled this better, but we can learn, yeah?”
“I love you,” Arthur says, fervently.
“I love you,” Merlin replies. Gwaine tries not to shift uncomfortably. Merlin turns to him, regardless, and leans into him a bit.
“I don’t want to freak you out, but I’m pretty fond of you, too, you know.”
Gwaine coughs to clear his throat.
“I’m - pretty fond of you, too. Both of you,” he adds, looking over at Arthur.
“I want to suggest a group hug or something,” Merlin says.
“I do think Arthur’s looking forlorn over there, by himself,” Gwaine says, happy for the slight break in tension.
“I think we can fix that,” Merlin says, standing. Gwaine stands with him and they head to the sofa. It takes some doing, and they’re more on top of each other than next to each other, but they’re all squashed close. It’s reassuring after so long of not having this, of thinking that this might not happen again.
~~~
Gwaine ends up staying the night, not that they have the energy to do anything but cuddle. Merlin groans as his alarm goes off, hitting it until it stops making a noise at him, before burrowing back into the covers and the warmth of Gwaine behind him.
“Time to get up?” Gwaine asks.
“Ugh,” Merlin replies. “Too tired, want to stay here.” Merlin doesn’t even try to sound anything but whiny. Arthur hums from the other side of Gwaine.
“Call in sick, then,” Gwaine suggests.
“Hmm,” Merlin replies, closing his eyes.
“I think we deserve a day off,” Arthur says, to Merlin’s surprise. Merlin rolls over and raises his head to look at Arthur. His heart skips as he sees Arthur’s head resting on Gwaine’s shoulder, and he smiles.
“Are you serious?” Gwaine asks.
“Yes,” Arthur says, shifting to look at them both properly. “We’ve had a rough couple of weeks, and I’m not sure I’ll be much good at work, I don’t know about you.”
“I’m not in today,” Gwaine says, still looking shocked.
“You in, Merlin?”
Merlin shakes his head. “I can’t believe you’re suggesting we pull a sicky. You, Arthur.”
“Shut up,” Arthur says, sitting up. “Ok, so, phoning in sick.” He picks up his phone from the bedside table and calls his office. Gwaine climbs over Merlin, pausing briefly for a kiss, then pads out of the bedroom. Merlin calls Gaius, who seems to accept his story of a stomach bug and bad food, although Merlin thinks he can hear Gaius’ eyebrows rising in a disapproving manner. He hangs up and smiles at Arthur, who’s already finished his phone call.
They get out of bed and head to the kitchen, where Gwaine’s pulling bacon out of the fridge.
“Bacon sandwiches?”
“Excellent,” Merlin says. Gwaine nods and pulls out a pan. Arthur slides past him to make the tea.
“I could get used to this,” Merlin says as he sits at the table.
Arthur just snorts and puts a mug down in front of him.
“So, what are your plans, since you’re both pulling a sicky?” Gwaine asks, turning the bacon over.
“Well, I was hoping you’d stick around, and we’d lounge around doing not much at all,” Merlin says.
“I agree with that plan,” Arthur adds.
Gwaine tilts his head to one side like he’s considering it. “I think I can clear my schedule,” he says, smirking.
They catch up on what’s gone on in the world over night; Merlin curls up on the sofa with tea and the news while Gwaine and Arthur check their emails. Gwaine joins him before long. Merlin shifts and nudges at Gwaine until Gwaine lifts his arm, wrapping it around Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin hums happily.
The hourly headline re-cap comes on, and Merlin realises that it’s been at least half an hour since Gwaine came to sit on the sofa, and Arthur is still at the kitchen table, on his laptop.
“You’re supposed to be sick,” he calls.
“Just a minute,” Arthur replies, distractedly. Merlin rolls his eyes.
“We’ll have to stage an intervention. I don’t think Arthur’s pulled a sicky before.”
“We’ll have to teach him the way,” Gwaine replies.
Merlin stands up from the sofa, pulling Gwaine up after him. They wander into the kitchen.
“Sick, Arthur. That means not working.”
“We’ll make it worth your while,” Merlin suggests. There’s a pause and the atmosphere shifts. Merlin glances at Arthur who’s closing his laptop slowly.
Merlin takes a deep breath, leans forward and kisses Gwaine. There’s twin gasps, one from in front of him, one from behind him somewhere, and he steels himself to keep still. Gwaine’s hand comes up and cups his cheek, drawing him closer and Merlin’s knees go weak with relief.
He makes a noise in the back of his throat when Gwaine’s tongue slips into his mouth, it should be familiar, but there’s an undercurrent now, just enough tension to make Merlin’s skin tingle.
He hears a rustle of clothing and Arthur presses warm against his back, hands curling around his waist, then out to slide probably to slide under Gwaine’s shirt, if Gwaine’s gasp is anything to go by.
They head to the bedroom, and all but collapse onto the bed. They tug at clothes, stopping halfway through to kiss and caress. Merlin wants it all, greedy and heady with lust. It’s so much better now that he knows what’s going on; he knows they feel this too.
Afterwards, they curl up together and Merlin lets out a breathless laugh, a mixture of relief, happiness, and blissed out, post-orgasm high. Gwaine laughs with him, looking so happy that Merlin has no idea what to do with it, he just wants to make sure that look stays there, that they do everything in their power to make Gwaine happy. He looks over at Arthur, who’s looking slightly awestruck by it all.
Merlin loses the argument about who’s going to grab a cloth for clean up. He pads to the bathroom and wets a flannel. When he heads back into the bedroom he picks up the box of condoms off the floor. There’s maybe three left in there.
“We’ll need more condoms soon,” he says, putting the box in the drawer. “We’ve got about one each left.”
“You know, it would be so much easier without them,” Gwaine says.
“We’d have to get tested,” Merlin says, climbing back into bed.
“Should be fairly easy to sort out,” Arthur replies, rolling over.
“Later,” Gwaine says firmly, pulling Merlin closer. “We can talk it out later.”
Merlin yawns and tries to agree, but it’s more a mumble. There’s another grumble from the other side of Gwaine and Merlin takes it as agreement as he lets himself fall asleep.
~~~
Eventually they crawl out of bed, and Gwaine knows he’s smiling like an idiot, but Merlin and Arthur are too, so he doesn’t feel too silly about it. They sit in the living room, and Arthur opens up his laptop.
“Discussion time?” Merlin asks.
“Yes,” Arthur says, and turns his laptop around. “I bookmarked the pages that looked the most useful.”
“Right,” Gwaine says, and he recognises most of them from his own research.
“I think they could be a decent guide for what we need to talk about,” Arthur says.
“Communication needs to be at the top of the list,” Merlin says.
Arthur pulls a notebook out of his laptop bag and scribbles something down.
“Are you taking notes?” Gwaine asks.
“Yes, otherwise we might forget things,” Arthur says. “This way we can make sure we discuss everything.” He looks up at Gwaine and Merlin, who are smirking at each other. “I just want to get this right!”
“I know, it’s wonderful,” Merlin says.
“A little obsessive, though,” Gwaine adds.
Arthur chooses to ignore him. “Communication.”
“We need to make sure that we communicate as these things happen, not after,” says Merlin. “That’s what went wrong here.”
“If we want space, we need to be able to have it, without any sort of recrimination,” Gwaine offers. Arthur nods.
“That seems fair enough.”
Merlin’s phone vibrates at him, and he pulls it out of his pocket. Gwaine’s beeps at him.
“It’s from Gwen, dinner next Saturday,” Merlin says.
“I’ve got one too,” Gwaine says, putting the phone on the table. He’ll reply later.
“You could come back here, after, if you wanted,” Arthur says to Gwaine.
“That sounds good,” Gwaine replies.
“Actually, this is something we need to talk about - how are we going to act around each other in front of the others?” Merlin says, looking up from his phone.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they don’t even know what went on with the three of us, never mind that we’re trying for a relationship. We’ll need to let them in on the idea before going and acting like we are.” Merlin finishes typing out the reply to Gwen and sends it.
“I suppose it’s not the best way to ‘come out’,” Gwaine says. “But, it’s not like we’d be shoving our tongues down each other’s throats. We could be discreet?” Gwaine asks. It’s not that Gwaine doesn’t want to tell everyone they’re in a relationship, eventually. Just not so soon. It still feels very new and Gwaine wants to keep it to himself, for a while.
“I just meant that you can tell Arthur and I are together,” Merlin says. “We’re not shoving our tongues down each other’s throat but we do touch occasionally, and hold hands and things. I’d like to be able to do that with you, too.”
“Merlin makes a good point,” Arthur says.
“I just - this feels like it’s going too quickly,” Gwaine replies, shaking his head. They’ve barely even got the basics sorted, and he really doesn’t want to commit to this in front of their closest friends before they’ve been together a month. If this doesn’t work out, if they can’t make it work, it’s going to be bad enough as it is without it being a public break up with everyone knowing.
“So, what? We don’t tell anyone and just act normally?”
“I think that’s for the best.”
“If you’re sure, Gwaine? It doesn’t seem very fair,” Merlin points out.
“Yeah, I am,” Gwaine says. He’s pretty sure that’s the best they can do on such short notice.
“Well, we’ll tone it down a bit, so you’re not so left out, okay?” Arthur says. Gwaine nods. “And we’ll make it up to you when we get back.”
“Thanks, ” Gwaine says, smiling. He’s looking forward to seeing everyone again, it feels like it’s been a long month. Gwaine realises he hasn’t really seen Leon since the night he came over and dealt with Gwaine’s angst. “Just remembered,” he starts, looking at Arthur and Merlin. “Leon knows about - that I have feelings for the pair of you. He came over when I thought this was over, helped me drown my sorrows and then kicked my arse at Fifa.”
Arthur and Merlin smile.
“Sounds like Leon,” Arthur says. “So he’ll probably have questions.”
Gwaine shrugs. “I’ll tell him the truth, that we’re working on it.”
~~~
Gwaine watches Arthur pour Merlin a glass of wine and hand it to him. Merlin looks up and smiles at him. Their fingers don’t brush, and Arthur doesn’t give Merlin’s shoulder a squeeze but Arthur is in Merlin’s personal space and they’re so comfortable and Gwaine quashes a twinge of envy.
Arthur and Merlin have years of history and it’s evident in the way they react to each other, sometimes seemingly subconsciously. He’s wondering how he’s going to fit into that history when Leon pulls him to one side.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“You look a bit off,” Leon continues.
Gwaine just shrugs and offers a half smile. “It’s nothing.”
“I was just wondering how it was going between you and Arthur and Merlin,” Leon says, failing to look like its an innocent subject change.
Gwaine bites his lip against a smile as Leon fulfills Arthur’s prediction perfectly. Leon just raises an eyebrow. “We’re talking,” Gwaine says, simply.
“Right. And are there any conclusions?”
“It’s still a work in progress. We’re getting there, though.” Leon looks at him, sceptical. “I know, me, Arthur, sharing about emotions. We’re all trying though, we want to make it work.”
“It?” Leon asks.
Gwaine just shakes his head. “We’ll tell you - and everyone else - soon. Playing them a bit close to our chest at the moment.”
Alright, I’ll let you keep your secrets,” Leon says.
Gwaine is infinitely grateful. “When Morgana decides to make an honest man out of you, I’ll do the photos at the wedding for free.”
Leon just laughs.
They move back to the group and start taking seats around Gwen and Lance’s dining table. Merlin snags the seat next to him. There’s a press of leg against his, just fleeting, enough to be explained away as a fidget if anyone saw.
Gwaine smiles, a warmth spreading through his chest at the simple gesture. They really were putting in the effort to make him feel as included as possible, given the current circumstances.
~~~
“So, how did that go, do we think?” Arthur asks.
“We did alright, I think?”
“It was ok, yeah,” Gwaine says, remembering his twinge of envy.
“Damning with faint praise, there,” Arthur says. Gwaine shrugs. Merlin and Arthur exchange a look, obviously communicating without words and Gwaine just feels worse.
“Gwaine,” Merlin starts.
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously not,” Arthur says, as they pull up to the curb.
“Look, I just, the pretending to not be with you was harder than expected,” Gwaine says. He wants to shrug it off, not talk it to death.
“What do you mean?” Merlin asks.
“Can we have this conversation in the house?” Gwaine asks, getting out of the car. Merlin and Arthur follow him to the house.
Merlin goes to the kitchen and puts the kettle on. Gwaine runs a hand through his hair, trying to sort out what to say.
“You two have all this -” Gwaine waves a hand around, “history. I don’t know how I’m meant to compete with that.”
“It’s not a competition?” Arthur replies, looking confused. Gwaine shakes his head again, feeling frustrated. He’s not sure how to get the feeling across. Merlin brings in tea and Gwaine wraps his hands around the mug, the slight burn on his palms is a distraction from the men looking at him questioningly.
“That’s not what I mean. I mean, you two fit together, really well. I’m not sure how I’m meant to fit in as well,” Gwaine says.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Arthur says, “of course you fit.”
“Ridiculous?” Gwaine asks, angry.. He knows it’s partly ridiculous but having it laid out so plainly hurts a bit. Arthur opens his mouth to say something, but Merlin interjects.
“What do you mean, ‘fit’?”
Gwaine takes a deep breath. “ I don’t know, I mean. You two are already comfortable with each other, not that I’m not comfortable, but your relationship is secure, the bit with me is all new and it’s, I don’t know, I just envy it, a bit.”
Merlin and Arthur are silent for a while.
“I’m sorry,” Merlin offers. “I never thought that we’d make you insecure.”
“But at the same time, we can’t not be ourselves, or act like we’re in a relationship,” Arthur points out.
“Yeah, I know,” Gwaine sighs. “But that’s how I’m feeling. We’re supposed to be doing talking about that, right?”
“Yeah,” Merlin replies.
“What would help?” Arthur asks. He still looks angry, Gwaine thinks, but they’re talking and that’s something. He’s not sure if it’ll actually achieve anything, but they’re trying.
“I’m not sure, other than just being in the relationship. Unless one of you has a time machine?” Gwaine asks. The other two snort and shake their head.
“So,” Arthur says, coughing slightly uncomfortably. “ We’ll need to come up with something else for being in public. I mean, we need to ‘come out’, I suppose? It’s the only way to do this fairly. I know you’re uncomfortable with it Gwaine, but I don’t think there’s another way to do this.”
“I’ll think about it. I mean, we don’t have to do it right now.”
“No,” Merlin says. “Maybe, I mean, the next group dinner is in a month, we could set that as a sort of deadline? Not a proper one, but we can make a note to definitely talk about it again then, see where we are?”
Gwaine nods. Arthur makes a note on the notepad which is a constant in their relationship now. There’ll be a google calendar alert thing set up before this time tomorrow.
“Do you still want to stay?” Merlin asks. “Just to sleep, maybe?”
“Yeah, ok,” Gwaine says, suddenly feeling incredibly tired.
The next morning is quiet, conversation subdued. It’s their first spat, and while it wasn’t spectacular by any stretch of the imagination, it still had an effect. Gwaine felt a little exposed, but he thinks that maybe he needs to be a little vulnerable for this to work. He shows where his insecurities are and trusts that Merlin and Arthur will do the right thing.
~~~
Gwaine knocks on the door to the flat a couple of days later. Merlin had sent out a text calling a meeting - Gwaine hadn’t even known that was a thing, but the text had said: relationship meeting, 7pm - so here he was.
Arthur opens the door, smiling wryly when he sees Gwaine.
“Any idea what this is about?”
“Nope. He’s been very secretive,” Arthur says, rolling his eyes. Gwaine just smirks.
“You’re annoyed you weren’t able to wrangle it out of him.”
“Obviously,” Arthur replies as they head into the living room.
Merlin has the laptop set open on the coffee table.
“So, we’re all here,” Arthur says expectantly.
“Ok, so, I was thinking about what Gwaine was saying about fitting in and I have an idea. Before we decided to go for this -” Merlin waves a hand, encompassing the three of them. “I asked Gwaine about having date nights - the three of us spending time together. I was thinking about continuing that, but also having separate ones - just two of us.”
“So, say, me and Gwaine go on a date one night, then the next week or whenever, you and me-” Arthur says.
“And then me and Gwaine, yes.” Merlin nods. “That way we all spend time together, and we all get time alone as well.”
“That’s not a bad idea, actually,” Gwaine says. “I’d like a bit more spontaneity, but it’s a fair way of doing it.”
“The activities you do on the date don’t have to be planned in advance if they don’t need to be, you can be as impulsive as you like there,” Arthur offers. “Just the actual days themselves. Obviously there has to be some flexibility, with work and other things.”
“More use for your Google calendar,” Merlin points out.
“You two will have to actually use it then,” Arthur mutters. Gwaine just grins at Merlin.
“I’ll set up one for work, so you know when I’m not around,” Gwaine says, smiling as Arthur perks up at the idea of someone else using the calendar.
“Brilliant,” Merlin replies, pulling the laptop towards him. “Now all we have to do is sort out dates.”
~~~
In the middle of all this, Gwaine has a job to go to. Thankfully it’s close, a church wedding less than half an hour away.
The weather isn’t amazing, which is a shame, Gwaine thinks as he watches the wedding party enter the church. He hopes it doesn’t rain until after the photos have been taken.
He takes a few snaps of people heading in - parents of the bride and groom, the page boy and the flower girl.
Gwaine isn’t taking photos of the actual ceremony, so he wanders around the church grounds while he waits.
There’s a small cemetery attached to the church and Gwaine walks around it, occasionally reading the headstones. It’s a bit macabre, but it’s peaceful.
He ends up sitting on a bench, snapping some pictures of flowers and birds. He waits until he hears the bells of the church then rushes back around to the front of the church, ready to capture the happy couple.
The wedding party is full of joy, the tension on the day dropping off their shoulders. Gwaine steps into photographer mode, lining up the shot, herding people into the right poses, getting people to smile.
He’s hanging around the reception, nursing the glass of champagne that the bride handed to him, when he gets the first text.
From: Merlin
To: Gwaine
Hey, hope it’s going well. Don’t get too drunk!
From: Gwaine
To: Merlin
No promises, the bride is plying me with champagne, it’d be rude to refuse. Ceremony was lovely, got some great shots
From: Merlin
To: Gwaine
Getting handsy already? Do we have to come down there and fight for your honour?
Gwaine smiled and shook his head. He knows that Arthur’s just as behind the texts as Merlin is, the pair of idiots.
“We’re ready to cut the cake,” the bride says, and Gwaine jumps.
“Sorry, sorry,” he says, shoving the phone back in his pocket, aware he’s been unprofessional.
“It’s fine. Text from someone special?” She asks.
“Yes, it is,” Gwaine says, grinning. The bride smiles indulgently.
“Must be, if they can put that look on your face. Come on, I have plans for the first slice.”
He shakes himself then they walk over to the cake. Gwaine gets the perfect photo of the bride smooshing a piece of it into the groom’s face.
~~~
He lets himself into his flat, dumping his bag onto the floor. He walks into the kitchen and grabs himself a drink. It’s late but he wants to have a look at what he managed to get on a larger screen, so he can better put an album together.
He comes to a dead stop halfway to the living room, realising that his laptop is still at Arthur and Merlin’s. Gwaine’s slowly moving in, apparently. It’s too late for him to head over there and start working now. He turns on his tele and decides he can head over and work at Merlin and Arthur’s tomorrow.
He waits just after lunch to head over. Merlin opens the door, blinking in surprise when he sees Gwaine.
“Didn’t expect you to come over yet.”
“Left my laptop here,” Gwaine replies as Merlin steps back to let him in.
“Good. I missed you,” he says, kissing Gwaine.
“Missed you, too,” Gwaine murmurs, curling a hand around Merlin’s cheek. Merlin hums happily, leaning into him.
“Oh, hi, Gwaine,” Arthur says, popping his head around the door. “Wondered who it was. Good job?” he asks, coming to stand behind Merlin. Gwaine leans forward, over Merlin’s shoulder to kiss Arthur.
“Yeah, it was a nice ceremony,” Gwaine replies. They untangle and move to the living room. Gwaine finds his laptop under to coffee table and picks it up.
“Left this here. You don’t mind me working here, do you?”
“Why would we?” Arthur asks. “Work away. We’ll try not to distract you.”
Gwaine sits at the kitchen table and boots up his laptop, connecting his camera. He pulls headphones out of his bag, starts iTunes, and starts to work.
He is aware of Arthur and Merlin around but he can mostly ignore them, focusing on his photos. At some point during the afternoon, Merlin placed a mug of tea at his elbow. He grinned up at Merlin in response and pulled him down for a quick kiss. Merlin gestured for Gwaine to pull out an earbud.
“Food soon?” he asks.
Gwaine looks at the clock and realises he’s been working solidly for a good few hours. “Yeah, I might stop for today, actually.” He saves his work and shuts the laptop down, groaning as he stretches.
~~~
Later on, after they’ve eaten and are sitting watching a film, Gwaine thinks back to what the bride said.
“I think it’s time to tell people. About us,” Gwaine says.
“You think?” Merlin says, and Gwaine can feel Merlin’s hand curl through his hair. Gwaine’s currently sitting on a beanbag thing he brought with him last weekend, partly because it was impossible for all three of them to sit on the sofa comfortably and partly because he had wanted to see the look on Arthur’s face. It had been totally worth it. He sits just in front of the sofa, within reach of both Arthur and Merlin, and they tend to swap whenever one of them gets overheated. Gwaine shifts slightly, so he can look at them both.
“I do,” Gwaine replies.
“What changed your mind?” Arthur asks.
“A couple of things, really. I mean, I’ve been thinking about why I didn’t want to come out, and it turns out the reasons are a bit circular.” Arthur and Merlin look at Gwaine questioningly. Gwaine just shrugs. “Mostly, though, it’s something the bride said at the wedding. She came over and saw me texting you, and she said that I must be texting someone special if they could put that look on my face.” Gwaine swallows, heart thumping in his chest. “And you are, both of you. I love you, and I want everyone to know it.”
Arthur lets out a long breath, and Merlin’s blinking at him.
“I love you,” Arthur breathes, pulling Gwaine into a kiss. Gwaine’s hand is suddenly gripped - he assumes by Merlin, and he squeezes back.
“I love you, too,” Merlin says, after Gwaine and Arthur part. They kiss, and Gwaine didn’t know he could feel this much.
“So, how shall we do this?” Gwaine asks, after they’ve parted and just sat, absorbing this new step they’ve taken.
“All at once? Like, in person?” Merlin suggests.
“That sounds terrifying, but I suppose it’s the only way.” Arthur says.
“Can’t do it over the phone,” Gwaine adds.
“True.”
“It’s ages until we’re hosting the next dinner - any of us.”
“Leon and Morgana will swap with us,” Gwaine says, turning around til he’s facing them both. He’s only just realised how much this means to him. He’s not one for validation normally - he generally tries not to care what anyone else thinks - but this is different. This is recognition.
“Ok. So. In the morning we’ll ask if we can swap - when they find out we have news they’ll probably want to bring it forward anyway,” Arthur says, running a hand through his hair.
“They’ll be ok,” Merlin says, quietly. “They won’t - dump us.”
“No.”
“Might be weird though.”
“We’ll cope,” Arthur says, shifting so his thighs press against Gwaine’s shoulder. They all shift together as close as possible, exchanging comforting kisses and touches.
~~~
It takes a few days for them to get what they want to say down on paper. Arthur wants a script, he wants to make sure they do it right. Gwaine is resistant, but comes round eventually. There’s so much they want to across - saying they were in love wouldn’t cover everything, they didn’t think - that they kept tripping up over themselves. And that was when they were the only ones in the flat. Add the nerves of saying this to their nearest and dearest and they would be stuttering messes.
So, they had a script. And they practised. They tried to the think of questions that may be asked of them, and how to answer them. They spent the evenings curled up together, not talking about it by unspoken agreement.
And then the day came. They potter around the flat all day, alternating between cleaning everything in sight and curling up on the sofa, whispering reassurances to each other in between kisses.
Gwaine disappears for an hour or so and comes back with bags of food. He retreats to the kitchen and soon the flat smells amazing.
Leon and Morgana arrive first, handing over a bottle of wine.
“This had better be good,” Morgana says, not beating around the bush.
“You’ll soon find out,” Arthur replies, tightly. Morgana gives him a searching look before moving further into the flat. Leon seeks out Gwaine, raising his eyebrows. Gwaine shrugs in response.
The rest of the group filter in, all of them obviously curious about their announcement.
“So, we were considering sharing our news after dinner,” Arthur announces, to answering groans.
“You can’t do that, how can we eat with this sort of anticipation?” Morgana asks. Arthur looks at Merlin and Gwaine, who shrug.
“We can do it now, then. Bow to peer pressure,” Merlin says, standing up. Gwaine stands up too, and eyebrows are raised.
“Right,” Arthur says. He looks around the table - everyone’s staring at them, and he’s wondering just how obvious they’ve been about everything.
“You may have noticed we had some - issues a while back,” Merlin starts, brave as ever.
There are various mutters of agreement.
“We’ve not been as around as we could have been, and we’re sorry for that,” Merlin says.
“The problem was me,” Gwaine adds, trying for self-depreciating. The crack in his voice gives him away though.
Leon shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything.
“Without going into too much detail - things happened,” Arthur says. “We fell in love.”
“We fell in love with Gwaine,” Merlin clarifies. Jaws drop around the table.
“Sorry - I don’t. Love?” Lance asks, frowning.
“Yeah. Yes,” Arthur says, feeling shaky now it’s out in the open. “We’re in love.”
“It’s been happening for a while. We had to do a lot of research, and a lot of thinking.” Arthur’s feeling shaky with adrenaline, but now it’s out, that’s it. No taking it back. “We’ve decided to give it a go.”
“The three of you?” Lance asks, frowning.
“Like whatsitcalled - poly..?” Elena asks, leaning forward in her chair.
“Polyamory, yeah,” Arthur nods.
“We’re still figuring things out, but we’re pretty happy,” Merlin says, smiling at Arthur and Gwaine.
“So yeah. We can answer questions?” Gwaine offers, “or try to anyway.”
“We’re sorry to throw this on you, but we couldn’t think of a better way to do it,” Merlin says.
There’s a shocked silence.
“I-I’m not sure what to say,” Lance starts.
“It’s not what I was expecting,” Morgana says.
“I don’t think any of us saw this coming,” Merlin says, wryly.
“We knew you’d been having problems but -” Morgana says, looking at Arthur.
“You could’ve told us, sooner,” Gwen says.
“We really needed to get it sorted out ourselves. It nearly didn’t work at all,” Merlin says
“The questions offer is an open one, if you want to go away and think about it,” Arthur says, “we just hope you’ll accept us.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Morgana tuts, standing. She walks around the table and pulls Arthur into a hug. “It’ll take more than that to get rid of me,” she whispers in Arthur’s ear. Arthur laughs and clings to her, feeling tears prick his eyes.
“Thank you,” he whispers back. They disentangle and Morgana goes to hug Merlin and Gwaine.
“So, how does it work?” Lance says, not frowning anymore, but not smiling either.
“The three of us are in a relationship. It’s more logistics, but we’re all equal partners,” Gwaine replies.
“How does it work, with you two already being in a relationship?” Gwen asks.
“How do you mean?”
Gwen frowns, trying to get her words right. “You and Merlin have been together for a few years now. I - it must be awkward, for Gwaine, trying to fit in with all the things you’ve already sorted.”
“Like, just lack of memories together,” Lance jumps in. Gwen nods. “Everyone knows about how you and Merlin got together, and when you moved in together. You don’t have that - bond - with all three of you yet. Do you get jealous, Gwaine?”
“I did have some issues with that. Sometimes I still do,” Gwaine shrugs. “But it’s something I’ve got to accept, and get over.”
“And we’re making memories with Gwaine now, and we’ll carry on doing so. We’re committed to this,” Arthur says, looking at Gwaine.
“Just like that, eh?” Leon asks.
“Something like that,” Gwaine replies, and Arthur reaches out to grasp his hand, feeling a twinge of guilt. Gwaine smiles at him and squeezes Arthur’s fingers.
“Oh,” Elena says softly, drawing everyone’s attention. “That’s sort of cute. If a little, y’know.”
“Nauseating?” Elyan offers. It breaks the tension, as they break into laughter, some of it slightly hysterical.
“Well, if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you,” Lance announces, picking up his drink. He lifts it and toasts them, taking a drink. Morgana and Gwen follow, and soon there’s a makeshift toast.
It takes awhile for everyone to start talking again after that and Arthur is glad they were pressured into serving the food after their news. Gwaine cooked some amazing food, and that carries the conversation until everyone relaxes.
~~~
Leon pulls Gwaine away from the group, when everyone’s starting to clear the table and pull coats on.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Yeah, I do,” Gwaine says, smiling widely.
“I don’t want to see you hurt, if they decide to move on.”
“They won’t. We’ve talked about all this, in fact we are still talking about it. Far more than I’m comfortable with.” Leon snorts a laugh. “We’re good. Thank you. And thanks for listening to me, back at the start of it all.”
“You’re welcome, you know that. Just watch out for yourself, ok?”
“I will,” Gwaine says, smiling. “Thanks, man.”
“You’re welcome.”
~~~
“Leon, hi. Come in,” Arthur steps back, letting Leon in. “This is unexpected.”
“Yeah.” Leon walks in. Arthur looks at Leon - he’s here on a mission, clearly, and not a pleasant one. It’s been a few days since their announcement and Arthur’s stomach clenches as he wonders if the other shoe is finally about to fall.
“Is everything alright?”
“Is Merlin in?” Leon asks, not answering the question.
“Yeah, he’s in the living room,” Arthur says.
“Good, I want to talk to you both.”
“Ok,” Arthur says, slowly, looking at Leon closely. “Is this a ‘hurt my friend, I’ll hurt you’ talk?”
“Sort of,” Leon replies.
“Right,” Arthur says, gesturing towards the living room. Merlin looks up as they walk in.
“Oh, hi, Leon. You ok?”
“Yeah,” Leon says absently, perching on the armchair. Arthur sits next to Merlin, threading his fingers through Merlin’s and ignoring Merlin’s questioning glances.
“Ok, so ... I’m not here to criticise your choices, not least of all because I don’t know enough about it. I am here to ask if you’re sure you know what you’re doing. I know that you’ve all gone through a lot, if what Gwaine went through is any indication.” He grimaced as the they squirmed. “I don’t want to make you feel bad, I just. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
There’s a silence following Leon’s speech, and Leon looks down at his hands, not looking at anyone. Arthur looks at Merlin, who swallows hard.
“We have thought about it,” Merlin starts, quietly. “It’s a risk we’re all willing to take.”
“Like I said, I’m not criticising, you all look happy, really happy,” Leon says, and Arthur and Merlin break out into smiles again. “I’m just trying to look out for everyone.”
“We know, we know you mean well, and we get it. This isn’t some sex-addled plan, this. We’ve worked hard for this,” Merlin says, sitting forward. “We really want this to work - really work. We’re prepared to work as hard as needed to make sure we’re all happy.”
Leon looks at them both and takes a deep breath.
“Ok, alright.” Leon stand up. “I apologise if I’ve offended you.”
“You haven’t,” Arthur says, standing too. “It’s nice to know you’re looking out for us.”
~~~
Questions do come, eventually. The main one, Arthur finds, is about time management.
“We find it hard to make sure we spend quality time together as it is, never mind if there was someone else,” Gwen says, holding Lance’s hand. Arthur smiles and brings up the google calendar on his phone.
“It takes some effort.”
“Oh god, a calendar, Arthur? Really?” Morgana asks, smirking. Arthur is the bigger person, and as such, ignores her.
“Wait, are you telling me Gwaine actually looks at this thing?” Leon asks.
“Yep,” Merlin replies. “And he adds to it, too.”
Leon gapes at Gwaine. “Who are you and what have you done to my friend?”
Gwaine punches Leon on the arm and laughs.
~~~
Merlin smiles as he looks at the calendar, today’s square has two events - ‘Arthur conference’ and ‘Gwaine and Merlin date night’. Arthur had felt a little cheated that they were going on a date when he was hobnobbing with other lawyers and business people, but he also knew that it was a good use of the time. Merlin and Gwaine would be together anyway, they may as well make it an official date at the same time.
Neither of them had anything planned - just a meal then a night spent snuggling on the sofa. They take the tube back, Merlin a little fuzzy headed from the wine he’s drunk.
Merlin stumbles into the flat, and Gwaine steadies him, hands firm at Merlin’s waist. Merlin steps out of his grasp to turn and kiss him. Gwaine cups Merlin’s jaw, pulling him closer. Merlin shoves at Gwaine’s coat until he can slide his hands under Gwaine’s shirt.
Gwaine makes a noise in the back of his throat and pulls back a little.
“Want to move this to the bedroom?”
“Thought you’d never ask,” Merlin replies, shrugging out of his coat. They move to the bedroom, exchanging kisses and tugging at clothing.
Gwaine huffs as he falls back onto the bed, and Merlin straddles his legs. He grinds down, gasping as arousal sparks up his spine.
Merlin keeps expecting to feel another set of hands, hear Arthur’s low murmuring. He mentally shakes himself and kisses Gwaine, humming as Gwaine’s hands skim his chest to settle on his hips. The slide together slowly, kissing and sharing increasingly ragged breath.
Merlin’s panting by the time he shoves his hand between them and wrapping his hand around both of them. It takes a handful of strokes to push them over the edge, Merlin gasping out Gwaine’s name as he comes, shuddering with it.
Merlin collapses next to Gwaine. They lie for a while, panting at the ceiling. Merlin moves to rest his head on Gwaine’s shoulder.
“I’ll get a cloth soon,” he murmurs. Gwaine says something in response that Merlin can’t catch.
“If Arthur is here we could make him get up,” Gwaine says eventually.
“Hmm,” Merlin replies. “I kept expecting Arthur to appear somewhere.”
“Me too. I think this relationship has ruined me for two person sex. Not that I didn’t enjoy it,” Gwaine adds.
“I know what you mean,” Merlin says, reaching up for another kiss. “Love you,” he says, getting up to get a cloth before he falls asleep.
“Love you,” Gwaine replies, smiling softly.
~~~
Gwaine bounces on his feet a bit as he waits to be let in. Autumn is definitely shaping up cold, he thinks. He fantasises about beaches and warm oceans and is wondering if he can convince Arthur and Merlin to take a holiday somewhere nice when the door opens.
“Hi,” Merlin says, letting him in. Gwaine takes of his coat and hangs it up. “Got you something,” Merlin says as he kisses Gwaine.
“Oh, a present?” Gwaine asks, tugging Merlin closer.
“Sort of,” Merlin says, shrugging.
“Where is it?”
“Living room.” Merlin leads the way. He picks something up from the coffee table before Gwaine can see. Arthur raises an eyebrow at him, then smiles at Gwaine.
“Well? Come on, don’t keep me in suspense!”
“It’s nothing, really,” Merlin says, pressing something into Gwaine’s hand. He opens it and there’s a key there.
Gwaine pulls Merlin into a hug, hand clenched around the key. He knows it’s something that makes sense, and it’s practical - he spends a lot of time waiting for Arthur or Merlin to let him in - but it’s also a symbol, an open invitation.
“Thank you,” Gwaine says, threading the key onto his keyring.
“Should’ve got one cut ages ago,” Merlin replies, shrugging. “I mean, you could just move in, you’re already halfway there. Seems pointless paying rent on your place just to use it as storage.”
“It’s certainly something to think about," Arthur says.
“I’ve got a while left on the lease yet, so maybe when that’s up?”
Arthur and Merlin nod, smiling.
“You’re getting good at this deadline thing,” Arthur teases, standing to join them.
“Had a good teacher,” Gwaine says, leaning forward for a kiss.
“You did,” Arthur replies.
“You’re entirely too smug about that,” Merlin points out.
“I’m allowed to be, we’ve managed to get this to work, haven’t we? We should be proud of ourselves,” Arthur says.
“We should,” Merlin says. “It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty close.”
“We deserve a treat. Tell me, how do you two feel about a holiday?” Gwaine asks.
~~~
It is hard, managing it all, and there’s more compromise. Gwaine learns to manage his time efficiently, Arthur has to try to keep himself from getting too frustrated at the last minute changes that sometimes happen, and Merlin acts as a pretty decent negotiator, understanding where both sides are coming from. That doesn’t stop him from declaring that both of them are being stupid and leaving them to it on occasion.
Slowly but surely it becomes second nature to make time for each other and, most importantly, being open and honest. Gwaine fits in the space that Merlin and Arthur made for him, until there isn’t a gap anymore.