What happened to childhood?
I'm back in Denver after completing three college courses. That's right, I'm in college. There's talk of working with companies while in school through a group I'm in, what careers hold, and the like. People are proud and have high expectations. I'm meeting professional writers and directors and the like. The future is on the forefront of everyone's minds.. I have friends getting married, their first houses, children. I sit here, back in the hometown, and its as if I never left. So many of my friends have stagnated or don't really appear to be going anywhere or have any future. All the ones with a future seem to already be so wrapped up in it that I've been left behind. So where does that leave me? I'm in some sort of middle ground between, and I feel so alone.
...and then there's her. I have no idea where we lie. I have no idea whether there's even a her and I. We have a history, and while I've had a history with girls before, its not like this. All else pales in comparison. Its absolutely wonderful to see her, but it kills me not knowing what the future holds. I want to fast forward to when I'm done with school and can fully try to be with her. Or, at the very least, I can locate the answer. I won't say that there hasn't been attraction to other girls, but it hasn't been the same. I know it won't ever be the same, but I know it hasn't been as good either. If there is someone better for me, I'll be surprised.
There are so many thoughts and feelings brewing and stewing in me. Denver does this to me. It seems to bring the reality of the past and history with this town and the people to the surface. Out in Florida, I can suppress it and its dulled, but out here I can't ignore it.
I can't believe he played me like that. Even more so, I can't believe he's acting like it never happened. Its one thing to go after a guy's girl, but right after the guy leaves town, while he's been one of your best bro's, and after talking about how he and the girl look great together? It kills me. She had no interest in him like that, but that's not the point. Its unbelievable that friendship could be so entirely ignored like that. Beyond that, why does he always have to bring things into question? She has every right to find someone else, but I don't need a play by play on it. If she does, I'm sure I'll find out. I'm sure I'll be upset, but its not necessary to let me know constantly about it. I doubt him and I will be friends much longer. I already can't believe the decisions he's made lately, and more and more I'm noticing how inexperienced and unintelligent he is. Things like that don't usually bug me because he's smart in his own right, but the spelling and little things are really starting to bother me. He also seems to be lying to himself about his situation, beyond just making bad decisions about it. I suppose we'll see how this week goes, but he needs to grow the fuck up and quit being so clingy.
It seems that this week is becoming more and more the deciding factor on more than a few things.
-Drew
...and then there's her. I have no idea where we lie. I have no idea whether there's even a her and I. We have a history, and while I've had a history with girls before, its not like this. All else pales in comparison. Its absolutely wonderful to see her, but it kills me not knowing what the future holds. I want to fast forward to when I'm done with school and can fully try to be with her. Or, at the very least, I can locate the answer. I won't say that there hasn't been attraction to other girls, but it hasn't been the same. I know it won't ever be the same, but I know it hasn't been as good either. If there is someone better for me, I'll be surprised.
There are so many thoughts and feelings brewing and stewing in me. Denver does this to me. It seems to bring the reality of the past and history with this town and the people to the surface. Out in Florida, I can suppress it and its dulled, but out here I can't ignore it.
I can't believe he played me like that. Even more so, I can't believe he's acting like it never happened. Its one thing to go after a guy's girl, but right after the guy leaves town, while he's been one of your best bro's, and after talking about how he and the girl look great together? It kills me. She had no interest in him like that, but that's not the point. Its unbelievable that friendship could be so entirely ignored like that. Beyond that, why does he always have to bring things into question? She has every right to find someone else, but I don't need a play by play on it. If she does, I'm sure I'll find out. I'm sure I'll be upset, but its not necessary to let me know constantly about it. I doubt him and I will be friends much longer. I already can't believe the decisions he's made lately, and more and more I'm noticing how inexperienced and unintelligent he is. Things like that don't usually bug me because he's smart in his own right, but the spelling and little things are really starting to bother me. He also seems to be lying to himself about his situation, beyond just making bad decisions about it. I suppose we'll see how this week goes, but he needs to grow the fuck up and quit being so clingy.
It seems that this week is becoming more and more the deciding factor on more than a few things.
-Drew