Fic: Bleach - Matsumoto/Hisagi; Gradual Part Two
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Matsumoto awoke the next morning with the worst hangover she’d ever had in her life. Or rather, existence.
She vaguely realized that Hisagi had brought her into her room and actually tucked her in instead of dumping her on the bed. Aww.
And then she went to throw up.
A while later she shuffled into the tenth division office, pale and red eyed. Not to mention she was half an hour late.
“Matsumoto-” She heard Hitsugaya say but cut him off.
“Taicho, no offense but I really don’t want to hear it. I’m a grown woman, and I know the consequences of my own actions. When you have a hangover as bad as I do, then you can come talk to me.” She flopped down on her chair and laid her head on her desk.
“I doubt that’s ever going to happen.” He responded dryly.
“Me too.” She mumbled.
“You shouldn’t drink so much.”
“Yeah. Tell that to me ten hours ago. Or Hisagi, since he was the one who let me drink so much.”
She heard him snort, and then something clunked against the desk. She looked up blurrily and realized he’d placed a bottle of painkillers there. “Thank you.” She said hoarsely and proceeded to swallow way more than the prescribed dose.
She blinked when she realized Hitsugaya her captain was closing the drapes, effectively blocking out the sunlight which was making her head throb even more than it already was. She hid her grin. Her captain may be a snarky son-of-a-bitch, but he was too cool.
He turned around. “You still have to do your paperwork, Matsumoto.”
She cringed.
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It wasn’t until much, much later than Matsumoto began to remember bits and pieces of last night. She was walking back to her room and froze mid step.
What was it Hisagi had said? Something about how she wasn’t the only one who had experienced unrequited love? What the hell had he meant by that?
And then she remembered how she’d felt when she’d been in his arms. And her eyes widened.
No. She couldn’t be. There was no way she was falling in lo-
No, no Rangiku, you’re not saying that word. She inwardly scolded herself.
There was no way she had feelings for him. But with a heavy heart, she knew that she did. And had, for quite some time without realizing it.
Crap. Not again. Crap, crap, crap! She was not falling again when she`d just gotten over Gin.
But then again, now that she thought of it, Hisagi had replaced Gin in her thoughts recently.
Oh no. This was so not good. Not good at all.
And then her mind remembered what she’d been thinking about earlier. ...You’re not the only one, Rangiku.
She clapped a hand over her mouth. Oh. Oh. Now she knew what he’d meant by that, and the whole kissing her on the forehead thing, and those looks he gave her...
God, she was an oblivious idiot. He didn’t just have feelings for her.
He was in love with her.
No. No, no, no. She couldn’t do this again. If he left, like Gin had, then she’d...
She’d never get over it.
“Goddammit!” She hissed. This was not happening again.
But she’d already fallen for him.
Well, I’m just going to have to deal with it, She thought determinedly. Because I’m not doing this again.
She was going to have to reject him. That was what she had to do.
Ignoring the ache in her chest, she hurriedly left the tenth division in search of Hisagi.
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It didn’t take her long to find him; he was leaving the dining hall when she spotted him. “Hisagi!” She called, and waved him over.
He jogged over to her, “Hey. Did you have supper? I didn’t see you in the dining hall.”
“No. Uh, I had ...paperwork.” She said distractedly. Back on task, Rangiku! She scolded herself. “Um, I have to ask you something. In private.” She glanced around at the shinigami wandering around them.
“Uh... okay.” He said, looking a little confused. He took her elbow and led her to a deserted area that was slightly away from the main part of Soul Society. “Ask away.”
“Um.” She took a deep breath, clearing her throat nervously. She searched his face for a second before blurting out, “Are... are you in love with me?”
Hisagi froze, eyes wide with shock. Several moments past before he stuttered, “W-Wha... But...” He stopped and sighed, running a hand nervously through his hair. “I... yes. I am.”
Matsumoto exhaled raggedly. He’d confirmed it. She opened her mouth to speak but he put a hand up, cutting her off.
“Just ...before you say anything, let me say this.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I know that we haven’t known each other very long, and that I’m not really ...worthy of you, but I was hoping we could at least give it a try.” He licked his lips hesitantly. “I know you feel something for me; I’ve seen it in your eyes. So, maybe... could we at least try, or something?”
Matsumoto sighed. “Before I get into this, you shouldn’t say that you’re not worthy of me. You’re far too good for me, Shunnhei.” She looked at him softly before saying, “I’m sorry but... I don’t feel the same way.” Liar! Her mind screamed. She ignored the stab of pain his crestfallen expression gave her heart. She scrambled for an excuse to give him. “You’re just not my type.” She avoided his eyes.
“Right.” Hisagi suddenly scoffed, anger evident on his face. His abrupt change of mood made her look up at him sharply. “Who’s your type exactly, Rangiku? Tall, silver-haired, murderers?”
She stared at him, wide-eyed and silent with shock. He started to walk away before turning around and saying harshly, “If you don’t want to be with me than just say it. Don’t give me some bullshit excuse to make yourself feel better.” He stalked off, not looking back.
Matsumoto waited until she got back to her room to start crying. Except this time, she knew he wasn’t going to come comfort her.
So she cried. She cried for her stupidity, for her weakness and for hurting him.
And she cried because she knew she was in love with him and there was nothing she could do to change it.
She was roused from her half conscious depression by a knock on her door many hours later. Half aware that it was in the middle of the night and that she looked like something the cat dragged in, she staggered over to the door and opened it.
To her utter shock, it was Hisagi.
“Wha-” She started to say but he cut her off.
“I need to say something.” He said, so impatient that he was twitching slightly. “Can I come in?”
“S-sure.” She stuttered, shuffling aside so he could enter her room.
As soon as she closed the door, he started pacing. “See, when I say something that horrible to you, eventually my conscious breaks through the anger and then I start feeling really, really awful and then I can’t sleep. So, I came to say that I’m extremely, extremely sorry and that I hope you’ll forgive me and that maybe we can still be friends, because I’d really like that. I don’t want to be separated from you, and even if that means just being friends, I’ll more than happily comply with that. I’ll keep my romantic feelings to myself, I swear.” He stopped, slightly short of breath.
She gaped at him in shock for a moment before everything he said clicked in her brain. And then she reached for the front of his robes and pulled him closer before placing her lips on his and kissing him with as much passion as she possibly could. After a while she pulled away when the need for air came. Panting slightly, she murmured against his lips, “I don’t just want to be friends.”
He looked at her dazedly as she pulled him closer for another kiss, but suddenly he pulled away, arms flailing. “Okay, wait a minute, rewind, back track.” He frantically ran a hand through his hair, messing the spikes up even more than they already were. “I’m confused. A few hours ago you were majorly rejecting me and now you’re kissing me. And you’re a damn good kisser, might I add.”
She smirked at him, “Thank you.”
“Seriously Rangiku, enlighten me here.” He looked so confused, it was adorable.
“Okay, alright. Here we go.” She took a deep breath before ploughing headlong into it. “I didn’t mean what I said, the whole you’re-not-my-type thing. You’re definitely my type, believe me,” She muttered before continuing on. “I was afraid, I suppose. You started talking about feelings and then all of a sudden I freaked and I said stuff and bad things resulted.”
“So...” He said cautiously, taking a step slowly towards her. “Do you have feelings for me?” She found it interesting how he said feelings instead of love; it was like he already knew she wasn`t ready to say she was in love with him yet. But eventually, she would be able to say it. Just not yet.
“Yes. Quite a lot of them, actually. An over abundance, if you will.” Hey, that was as close as she was going to get to saying love right now. She watched as his eyes softened and he took a few steps closer until he was a few inches away from her face.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Rangiku?”
“Yes. Definitely.”
“We’ll take it slowly, no rushing.”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“I’m going to kiss you now.” He said huskily before taking her face gently in his hands and capturing her lips with his.
She threaded her hands through his hair and let herself enjoy the kiss before saying slyly, “There’s a lot of other things I can do really well besides kissing.” She heard him moan lowly and grinned.
He pulled away slightly, and she noticed his eyes had darkened a shade, “I’m very sorry for what I said. It was uncalled for.”
She kissed him again. “Don’t worry about it. It was true and I deserved it.”
“But still. It was really not nice.”
“That’s okay. You’re going to make it up to me in a little while anyway.” Her eyes twinkled.
He smirked at her, “Yes, yes I will.” And then he was kissing her again.
Okay, so maybe they were rushing it a little.
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This fic was just way too much fun to write. My favourite part was the drunk/hung over Matsumoto part. ;) That part, by the way, was very much based on the way my friend Amanda acts sometimes. This is when she isn’t drunk, by the way. :P This fic was so insanely mood swing-y; it was depressing and then romantic and then humorous and then depressing again and then romantic again. *lol*
There may just be a sequel later on. *shifty glance*
Reviews would be lovely! :)