a world of maybe's and what ifs
Did I post yesterday? No. Well nothing happened…or at least nothing anyone, not even I would remember, if it did happen.
Just got back from Still Life cast party at Scott’s (director) house. Talked or rather listened most of the night. Him and Cecile Deason are a cute couple. I’m glad they are getting married
I realized I am not prepared to direct a play and I’m a bit paranoid. My show goes up December 2nd, practices start in October and I STILL HAVE NO PLAY TO DIRECT. I’m tired of reading. I want to shoot my head because I have so much. : ( Everyone keeps giving me ideas, which appreciate, but I still haven’t found one.
Maybe I’m not ready to direct. Maybe I just have put my foot down on a play and say I want to this no ifs ands or buts. Maybe I haven’t found a play that makes me want to do that. I have found some good plays but either it has too much responsibility for me to handle, or I don’t feel like I can achieve the max potential of it. I’m getting stressed. I’m going to Eastwood on Wednesday to talk to Cecile Deason, she wants me to look at a few plays that she has. If I don’t find a play by the end of the run of still life at the end of next week, I’m just going to pick one of the many plays that I have already read. I haven’t asked Ted if he read BANG! BANG! yet, I don’t think he will approve it.
I still want to do Clue the movie on stage. I had it all planned out on my head, but Mr. M said no the theatre wasn’t the proper facility to do that. I can’t do it at the Aardvark because that doesn’t have what I need like Americas did. I’m paranoid that this show is going to be crap like Everyman today. I didn’t have enough rehearsal time, not enough stage time, crappy ass technicians, and a set where bare stage was suppose to be. I was forced to work around the Man of La Mancha set that did not fit what I wanted doe my Show. *sighs* I know I won’t have that problem at the Aardvark. Maybe I’m not fit for theatre. Maybe I should just be an engineer and being boring for the rest of my life just like I have been all of my life. I hide away in some dark cavern and will not be heard of for years.
I just don’t know.
I know I’ll do Desdemona. A play about a handkerchief. Don’t ask. It’s a title of play. I would try to end this self-pitying post with something funny and ironic but my funny bone is out of order.