TM #233: Surprise! A priest is at the door--and at a most inopportune moment! Now what? (479 words)
Mos Espa, Tatooine.
Security record, audio only.
Background noises consistent with Jedi Padawan Aayla Secura reading through printouts. A knock at the door.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" Voice is later confirmed to be an unnamed human male.
Whispered. "Kriff." Louder. "Who is it?"
"Hello, ma'am? I'm an initiate of the B'omarr monastic order, and I was wondering if I could have a few minutes of your time."
"I'm sorry, this isn't exactly the best time for me."
"Oh, please? Look, I can't go back to the monastery until I've gotten at least three people to hear me out, and it's not going too well. I've only been a monk for a few months, and I really want to go back and get out of the heat. I know, I'm not supposed to care about the heat, but--"
"Fine, fine." Sigh. "Just give me a second."
Background noises later corroborated to be Padawan Secura hiding data printouts, in addition to several loud noise artifacts caused by moving the security equipment under a pile of laundry. Sound of a door opening partially.
"You'll excuse me for not inviting you in. I've been warned that Tatooine is a dangerous place for Twi'lek women."
"Um... yeah. Kind of."
"Does it count if you just talk a while the locks are still in place?"
"I guess so? I mean, as long as you listen."
"Fine. Go. You have two minutes."
"Two minutes? But--okay. What we do is isolate ourselves in order to concentrate on shedding ties to the physical world and thus reach enlightenment."
"Right. What happens when you reach that state?"
"You're blessed with the removal of your brain."
"...what?"
"Yes, it's removed and placed into a specialized jar of nutrients attached to a droid so that you can continue your contemplation of the universe in peace, without any distractions."
"And you actually want this to happen?"
"Well, yes. It's kind of why I joined."
"Because you want your brain in a jar."
"No, not that. The part where you become one with the cosmos and can think in peace for eternity."
"Or until your droid's power runs out."
"No, that's not a concern. See, younger monks like me take care of--"
"Time's up. Thanks for the lesson, but I think I'll have to pass."
"Really? But I haven't even told you about the tests to ensure that you don't feel pain!"
"Yeah, isn't that a pity. Sorry, I need to get back to work."
"Are you sure, because--"
Sound of the door closing.
Muffled, from outside. "Thank you for your time!"
Sound of a comlink being activated "Master Quinlan? It's Aayla. You're never going to believe what just came to the door while I was reading through mission information..."
Security record, audio only.
Background noises consistent with Jedi Padawan Aayla Secura reading through printouts. A knock at the door.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" Voice is later confirmed to be an unnamed human male.
Whispered. "Kriff." Louder. "Who is it?"
"Hello, ma'am? I'm an initiate of the B'omarr monastic order, and I was wondering if I could have a few minutes of your time."
"I'm sorry, this isn't exactly the best time for me."
"Oh, please? Look, I can't go back to the monastery until I've gotten at least three people to hear me out, and it's not going too well. I've only been a monk for a few months, and I really want to go back and get out of the heat. I know, I'm not supposed to care about the heat, but--"
"Fine, fine." Sigh. "Just give me a second."
Background noises later corroborated to be Padawan Secura hiding data printouts, in addition to several loud noise artifacts caused by moving the security equipment under a pile of laundry. Sound of a door opening partially.
"You'll excuse me for not inviting you in. I've been warned that Tatooine is a dangerous place for Twi'lek women."
"Um... yeah. Kind of."
"Does it count if you just talk a while the locks are still in place?"
"I guess so? I mean, as long as you listen."
"Fine. Go. You have two minutes."
"Two minutes? But--okay. What we do is isolate ourselves in order to concentrate on shedding ties to the physical world and thus reach enlightenment."
"Right. What happens when you reach that state?"
"You're blessed with the removal of your brain."
"...what?"
"Yes, it's removed and placed into a specialized jar of nutrients attached to a droid so that you can continue your contemplation of the universe in peace, without any distractions."
"And you actually want this to happen?"
"Well, yes. It's kind of why I joined."
"Because you want your brain in a jar."
"No, not that. The part where you become one with the cosmos and can think in peace for eternity."
"Or until your droid's power runs out."
"No, that's not a concern. See, younger monks like me take care of--"
"Time's up. Thanks for the lesson, but I think I'll have to pass."
"Really? But I haven't even told you about the tests to ensure that you don't feel pain!"
"Yeah, isn't that a pity. Sorry, I need to get back to work."
"Are you sure, because--"
Sound of the door closing.
Muffled, from outside. "Thank you for your time!"
Sound of a comlink being activated "Master Quinlan? It's Aayla. You're never going to believe what just came to the door while I was reading through mission information..."