I'll always associate hugs with tears
Tonight at work, as I'm leaving, I decide to stop in the restroom. There's an older, black janitor in there. I walk up to the urinal and he says "Hey man, are you a supervisor?". Of course I answer yes. He proceeds "I need your help with something, a few minutes ago a couple of guys came in here and called me a God damn nigger...what should I do?" I tell him that I would talk to my supervisor or manager and if they can't do anything I would talk to HR.
At this point we're leaving the sink and walking out of the restroom. He's roughly 3 feet infront of me. He walks out first and says "Thank you". The door swings back at me a little bit and I walk out immediately behind him. He's gone. Vanished. Right before my eyes. He couldn't have moved that quickly, I was RIGHT BEHIND HIM, and he had a trash can with brooms to carry. I check the ladies room to see if he was in there...he wasn't.
I continue walking to the stairs. At this point my feet are hurting pretty badly because my insoles have bunched up in my shoes. I plan on pulling them out and throwing them on the steps when I get there (because no one is ever in the stairwell with me). I get in the stairwell and pull them out, and just as I'm about to throw them I hear the janitor's voice say "God damn nigger". So the insoles are held onto and eventually deposited in a trash can, instead of on the floor.
As I'm walking out I light my cigarette outside. As I'm walking to the bus stop I start smelling nostalgic smells. Smells that remind me of the past. I smell my 3rd grade teacher's perfume, my grandma's roast, and even Tumbleweed's kitchen (a job I hastily quit).
As I waited on the bus I felt so strange, almost to the point where I felt I might faint. Me being the only person on the bus I said to myself "God, I wish I had someone to talk to, someone to take my mind off this shit". Just as I finished talking to myself, Herb, a boy I used to work with walks on the bus and we do just that. From that point to my car I was fine, but once on the road I began thinking back and realizing what all had happened. It seriously weirded me out and that fainting feeling came back again.
After returning home I talked to Danny and honestly I feel better. Thanks to Dan for helping me out even though you probably don't even realize you did. I'm not sure what all of this means, I want to know...but I also am afraid of what I might find out.
At this point we're leaving the sink and walking out of the restroom. He's roughly 3 feet infront of me. He walks out first and says "Thank you". The door swings back at me a little bit and I walk out immediately behind him. He's gone. Vanished. Right before my eyes. He couldn't have moved that quickly, I was RIGHT BEHIND HIM, and he had a trash can with brooms to carry. I check the ladies room to see if he was in there...he wasn't.
I continue walking to the stairs. At this point my feet are hurting pretty badly because my insoles have bunched up in my shoes. I plan on pulling them out and throwing them on the steps when I get there (because no one is ever in the stairwell with me). I get in the stairwell and pull them out, and just as I'm about to throw them I hear the janitor's voice say "God damn nigger". So the insoles are held onto and eventually deposited in a trash can, instead of on the floor.
As I'm walking out I light my cigarette outside. As I'm walking to the bus stop I start smelling nostalgic smells. Smells that remind me of the past. I smell my 3rd grade teacher's perfume, my grandma's roast, and even Tumbleweed's kitchen (a job I hastily quit).
As I waited on the bus I felt so strange, almost to the point where I felt I might faint. Me being the only person on the bus I said to myself "God, I wish I had someone to talk to, someone to take my mind off this shit". Just as I finished talking to myself, Herb, a boy I used to work with walks on the bus and we do just that. From that point to my car I was fine, but once on the road I began thinking back and realizing what all had happened. It seriously weirded me out and that fainting feeling came back again.
After returning home I talked to Danny and honestly I feel better. Thanks to Dan for helping me out even though you probably don't even realize you did. I'm not sure what all of this means, I want to know...but I also am afraid of what I might find out.