Dissertation on the nation
I had a rather ambiguous reference to feeling a positive change in my life in an earlier post. This random AIM convo sort of touches on it without going into too much detail. Sort of. Hah. Read if you want or don't. I don't give a fuck, just mind the edges so you don't get a paper kut.
[10:05 PM] BloodStaindStoat: know what else?
[10:07 PM] BloodStaindStoat: I'm pretty proud of the fact that I managed to get a man that averredly wears sunglasses 24/7 so that people can't see his soul-less eyes to admit that I'm his "best friend in the world".
[10:07 PM] warriorofthesoul: good job
[10:07 PM] BloodStaindStoat: Yep. And I happily consider him in the same regard.
[10:07 PM] BloodStaindStoat: I should probably feel stranger about that fact than I do.
[10:08 PM] warriorofthesoul: no
[10:08 PM] warriorofthesoul: not really
[10:08 PM] BloodStaindStoat: Good that you concur with me.
[10:08 PM] BloodStaindStoat: I'm going to stop that.
[10:09 PM] BloodStaindStoat: Stop feeling obligated to be ashamed or whatever it is about how I conduct my life. Cause that's just dumb.
[10:09 PM] warriorofthesoul: ya
[10:09 PM] warriorofthesoul: tis
[10:10 PM] BloodStaindStoat: The more I move towards a state of mind where I'm truely happy and comfortable with myself the more I realize I really am not designed to mesh into the fabric of society.
[10:10 PM] warriorofthesoul: you've lost me
[10:11 PM] BloodStaindStoat: ok
[10:11 PM] BloodStaindStoat: like
[10:12 PM] BloodStaindStoat: This entire school year I have been in betwen states various states of confusion and depression, all in relation to finding someway to fit in. That's what it all pretty much boils down to.
[10:14 PM] BloodStaindStoat: But I'm really happy now, and it's because this entire week I've been hanging out with people way older than me doing things that are more in my nature (I am inexplicably fascinated and overjoyed by bones and dead things).
[10:15 PM] BloodStaindStoat: So, I guess I've just really accepted that it's pointless to fight one's nature and trying to inflict a society's morals and expectations I don't hold in high esteem anyways is stupid.
[10:15 PM] BloodStaindStoat: Does that make sense?
[10:15 PM] warriorofthesoul: ya
[10:16 PM] BloodStaindStoat: So that's basically where I'm at right now. I feel like I've recently made a leap in personal growth and understanding. And I like to ramble assloads about it. :P
[10:18 PM] warriorofthesoul: that i completely understand
[10:05 PM] BloodStaindStoat: know what else?
[10:07 PM] BloodStaindStoat: I'm pretty proud of the fact that I managed to get a man that averredly wears sunglasses 24/7 so that people can't see his soul-less eyes to admit that I'm his "best friend in the world".
[10:07 PM] warriorofthesoul: good job
[10:07 PM] BloodStaindStoat: Yep. And I happily consider him in the same regard.
[10:07 PM] BloodStaindStoat: I should probably feel stranger about that fact than I do.
[10:08 PM] warriorofthesoul: no
[10:08 PM] warriorofthesoul: not really
[10:08 PM] BloodStaindStoat: Good that you concur with me.
[10:08 PM] BloodStaindStoat: I'm going to stop that.
[10:09 PM] BloodStaindStoat: Stop feeling obligated to be ashamed or whatever it is about how I conduct my life. Cause that's just dumb.
[10:09 PM] warriorofthesoul: ya
[10:09 PM] warriorofthesoul: tis
[10:10 PM] BloodStaindStoat: The more I move towards a state of mind where I'm truely happy and comfortable with myself the more I realize I really am not designed to mesh into the fabric of society.
[10:10 PM] warriorofthesoul: you've lost me
[10:11 PM] BloodStaindStoat: ok
[10:11 PM] BloodStaindStoat: like
[10:12 PM] BloodStaindStoat: This entire school year I have been in betwen states various states of confusion and depression, all in relation to finding someway to fit in. That's what it all pretty much boils down to.
[10:14 PM] BloodStaindStoat: But I'm really happy now, and it's because this entire week I've been hanging out with people way older than me doing things that are more in my nature (I am inexplicably fascinated and overjoyed by bones and dead things).
[10:15 PM] BloodStaindStoat: So, I guess I've just really accepted that it's pointless to fight one's nature and trying to inflict a society's morals and expectations I don't hold in high esteem anyways is stupid.
[10:15 PM] BloodStaindStoat: Does that make sense?
[10:15 PM] warriorofthesoul: ya
[10:16 PM] BloodStaindStoat: So that's basically where I'm at right now. I feel like I've recently made a leap in personal growth and understanding. And I like to ramble assloads about it. :P
[10:18 PM] warriorofthesoul: that i completely understand