Valkyrie
Adolf Hitler survives the assassination attempt and executes Col. Stauffenberg.
SPOILER ALERT! zomg zomg zomg QQ Why did you ruin it, Me?!
READ A BOOK.
Why my family thinks I'm gay, January edition: when the Heidi Klum commercial for Guitar Hero: World Tour came on during a family gathering everyone said, 'Hey Tyler, I bet you like this commercial *wink wink*', due to the Heidi Klum's ass and plastic guitars. My reply?
"NOPE.", I says, "She is just dreadful at the game." (Actual quote)
...the family collectively sighs again.
How could I like it?! She is horrible at the game. She is not even pretending to pretend to strum or fret anything at all in the commercial, which is an affront to plastic guitar players everywhere, forever.
In my hetero defence: I don't like the commercial with the other fuckers in it, either...for the exact same reason. Doesn't mean I do/do not want to fuck dudes or skirts, just means HIRE ON A BUNCH OF SUPER FAMOUS PEOPLE THAT HAVE PLAYED THE GOD DAMNED GAME.
To summarize: Heidi Klum can suck my balls, as can Kobe, A-Rod, Phelps the Sea Monster, AND Tony Hawk. But I won't enjoy it.
WHO IS TEH GAY NOW?
So I bought Animals Crossdressing for the Wii and boy, was I surprised...not really a family game there, Nintendo. Then I returned it, red in the cock, and got what I'd actually cum for--Animal Crossing: City Folk...
...or as I now like to call it: WORLD OF WARCRAFT FOR GAY HIPPIES.
Awesome. Instead of mining ore to forge a mace thrice the size of my character's body, I can dig up fossils to DONATE TO A MUSEUM.
WoW--the ability to eviscerate, mortal strike, or shadow word: DEATH your foes. AC--the ability to comment on the clothes of, run errands for, or generally just enjoy the company of your neighbors.
WoW--epic battles against the likes of The Lich King, The Night Elf Betrayer Illidan Stormrage, and Malygos the Spellweaver. AC--epic battles against the likes of a mole cricket, two snowballs, and a fucking grifting tanuki.
WoW--collecting troll ears and orc tusks and trading them in for a shiny new axe to more efficiently collect troll ears and orc tusks AC--collecting cherries to sell at market to buy a new green dress.
WoW--Going to your capital city's barber to get a shave and a haircut. AC--going to the city's barber to get a shave and a haircut. (That one didn't work so well.)
Video games should be about killing, stealing or at the very least, eating magic mushrooms to gain power, not about planting mushrooms and watering them, and weeding them, and watering them some more to get...more mushrooms.
They also both make you have to log in every day to complete some mundane task that ends with you playing it for 8 hours in a row and tired as fuck for everything else until you do it again the next day. That's right, they MAKE you. You can't resist. If some how you do, then weeds pop up, or trash piles up or you miss a smelting cool down or a dungeon reset. Games that actively punish you for not playing? It's like when Anorexia Hero (WiiFit) drives me to a 5 day binge because it cries when I step on it. (Every 5th day)
In other news, I beat Sally's Spa like crazy.
SPOILER ALERT! zomg zomg zomg QQ Why did you ruin it, Me?!
READ A BOOK.
Why my family thinks I'm gay, January edition: when the Heidi Klum commercial for Guitar Hero: World Tour came on during a family gathering everyone said, 'Hey Tyler, I bet you like this commercial *wink wink*', due to the Heidi Klum's ass and plastic guitars. My reply?
"NOPE.", I says, "She is just dreadful at the game." (Actual quote)
...the family collectively sighs again.
How could I like it?! She is horrible at the game. She is not even pretending to pretend to strum or fret anything at all in the commercial, which is an affront to plastic guitar players everywhere, forever.
In my hetero defence: I don't like the commercial with the other fuckers in it, either...for the exact same reason. Doesn't mean I do/do not want to fuck dudes or skirts, just means HIRE ON A BUNCH OF SUPER FAMOUS PEOPLE THAT HAVE PLAYED THE GOD DAMNED GAME.
To summarize: Heidi Klum can suck my balls, as can Kobe, A-Rod, Phelps the Sea Monster, AND Tony Hawk. But I won't enjoy it.
WHO IS TEH GAY NOW?
So I bought Animals Crossdressing for the Wii and boy, was I surprised...not really a family game there, Nintendo. Then I returned it, red in the cock, and got what I'd actually cum for--Animal Crossing: City Folk...
...or as I now like to call it: WORLD OF WARCRAFT FOR GAY HIPPIES.
Awesome. Instead of mining ore to forge a mace thrice the size of my character's body, I can dig up fossils to DONATE TO A MUSEUM.
WoW--the ability to eviscerate, mortal strike, or shadow word: DEATH your foes. AC--the ability to comment on the clothes of, run errands for, or generally just enjoy the company of your neighbors.
WoW--epic battles against the likes of The Lich King, The Night Elf Betrayer Illidan Stormrage, and Malygos the Spellweaver. AC--epic battles against the likes of a mole cricket, two snowballs, and a fucking grifting tanuki.
WoW--collecting troll ears and orc tusks and trading them in for a shiny new axe to more efficiently collect troll ears and orc tusks AC--collecting cherries to sell at market to buy a new green dress.
WoW--Going to your capital city's barber to get a shave and a haircut. AC--going to the city's barber to get a shave and a haircut. (That one didn't work so well.)
Video games should be about killing, stealing or at the very least, eating magic mushrooms to gain power, not about planting mushrooms and watering them, and weeding them, and watering them some more to get...more mushrooms.
They also both make you have to log in every day to complete some mundane task that ends with you playing it for 8 hours in a row and tired as fuck for everything else until you do it again the next day. That's right, they MAKE you. You can't resist. If some how you do, then weeds pop up, or trash piles up or you miss a smelting cool down or a dungeon reset. Games that actively punish you for not playing? It's like when Anorexia Hero (WiiFit) drives me to a 5 day binge because it cries when I step on it. (Every 5th day)
In other news, I beat Sally's Spa like crazy.