thanksgiving break....
i should just stop being a lil bitch about making decisions...
see i have like 3 choices about this coming weekend.
1) go to attleboro with my roommate and hang out with his friends and family
2) go to vermont and hang out with sophie and her fam and such
3) stay here with my papers as company
as for fun.. i think number 2 is the safest bet
for getting crap done... which i need to do... 3 is a decent choice
but for the roommate friendship ties thing... which have become increasingly shitty... 1 is the only choice.
if i dont go itll be a conscious decision to throw a ton of awkward space between ray and i, but then again 5 days with him and his family and his friends are just appearing to be so daunting. i dont want to sit at the dinner table across from his grandparents on thursday... and have the beady eyes of 10 people leering at me and the metal i sport on my face. also, ive gotten the notion that we shouldnt spend so much time together... if i didnt get that, ray has made it rather clear that being in the room is a drag and he does it only to be nice. fucking christians... should express themselves. anyways, in my mind, if i dont go, i will have convinced myself that i dont want to put my part in the friendship and it has much less value than what i had originally placed on it.
idontknow
should i just lay with my cynicism and stay?
or should i try, at the chance of having an awful 6 days, to save a friendship?
what the fuck is wrong with me, seriously
see i have like 3 choices about this coming weekend.
1) go to attleboro with my roommate and hang out with his friends and family
2) go to vermont and hang out with sophie and her fam and such
3) stay here with my papers as company
as for fun.. i think number 2 is the safest bet
for getting crap done... which i need to do... 3 is a decent choice
but for the roommate friendship ties thing... which have become increasingly shitty... 1 is the only choice.
if i dont go itll be a conscious decision to throw a ton of awkward space between ray and i, but then again 5 days with him and his family and his friends are just appearing to be so daunting. i dont want to sit at the dinner table across from his grandparents on thursday... and have the beady eyes of 10 people leering at me and the metal i sport on my face. also, ive gotten the notion that we shouldnt spend so much time together... if i didnt get that, ray has made it rather clear that being in the room is a drag and he does it only to be nice. fucking christians... should express themselves. anyways, in my mind, if i dont go, i will have convinced myself that i dont want to put my part in the friendship and it has much less value than what i had originally placed on it.
idontknow
should i just lay with my cynicism and stay?
or should i try, at the chance of having an awful 6 days, to save a friendship?
what the fuck is wrong with me, seriously