suspicion

[blownafuse]

today, my mother asked me where i got the hickey. i told her tobias gave it to me, as planned. ha, she called him a "wild man," and started asking about when i was letting him suck on my neck, and why, seeing as how my hair is short, etcetera. i told her it didn't feel like it was going to leave a hickey. which it didn't. a little later, i mentioned that you were going to take me to the coast for my birthday, maybe for a night or two. first, she got confused about the weekend before that, going to portland, because that's not technically on my birthday, etcetera. she then proceeded to ask me the following "are you guys hanging out- are you experimenting?" and of course, i had to say no, no of course not, and sound shocked, and she then referenced the "other things," those being my season one dvds of the l word that my father found, and the rainbow sticker i had on my car that he felt the need to remove himself, and then not apologize for. i pretended she was being ridiculous. heh. (Listen To What I'm Not Saying) she then wanted to make sure that she had asked me that in confidence and that i wouldn't say anything to her. i said of course not. which, if her suspicion weren't true, i wouldn't say anything. however, it is, and i have to say something. just so you're aware. i realized maybe a couple days ago how this, in way, is easier to pursue than if it were a "traditional" relationship, just because people don't assume anything, really. however, it is also harder, because if we do happen to be caught... probably an uncomfortable situations will ensue.
i probably should tell her sometime though. well, i'll have to. but at this point, i'm thinking it will go over better if i wait until i no longer live with them at all. like when i'm at college, and not coming home for the summers and holidays because i have an apartment. or when we have one. heh.
oh the pains of sneaking and hiding.