Jun 25, 2005 06:28
Bein' cripplingly shy, I reckon. When I was at school, it was kinda painful for me to speak to other kids an' when I got really nervous - which happened a lot - I had this little twitch in my eye, you know? I remember that first day at school an' it was lunchtime and us new kids were all told where to sit. One of the older kids was in charge of our table and he asked who I was an' what right had I got to sit at that table? I remember bein' so scared that I nearly peed my pants. I stammered an' mumbled somethin' about the teacher tellin' me to sit there and then my eye started twitchin' an' the other kids just started laughin' at me. An' then I started to cry an' I hated them all...
Of course, my older brother never had a nervous twitch or cried on his first day at school. He never nearly peed in his pants. An' not bein' my older brother was the other obstacle in my life that I had to overcome. Ain't it strange how some folk have kids an' kinda want them to all be the same? Like they compare them to each other an' criticise them for not bein' as good? Well, I was never like my brother - I was never the high school jock, popular with the girls, good at math, an' good at every sport... Reckon my folks almost started to accept that I was different - almost forgave me for bein' me. But then unlike my brother I never joined up an' got myself killed in Vietnam - an' somehow I jus' know they'll never forgive me for that...