Akuma to Love Song by Toumori Miyoshi - Chapter 52
And so, after I cried at the state that my Margaret manga was in when I finished scanning Akuma to Love Song.....
Kurosu Shintarou, who knows about Maria from seeing her on television, enrolls as a freshman in Maria's school. He bluntly approaches Maria to tell her that he and she are alike. He is open in showing his intentions towards her. Shintarou's words and actions, his very presence, is an annoyance to Shin, but Yuusuke is rather calm.
Meanwhile, Maria and Shin's relationship remains at a standstill. They recognize their feelings for one another, but something is stopping them from moving forward. Maria tells herself that she has come to terms with being a friend, yet her heart cannot conciliate with what her mind wants to think.
She realizes she wants to be closer.
Akuma to Love Song
Song 52
Maria is gathering her courage to greet Shin a good morning when Shintarou interrupts her with his own salutations, causing Maria to miss her chance to talk to Shin.
"Was I bothering you?"
"Terribly."
"Don't feel down. I know you weren't being mean. I told you not to get too close to me!"
"What a troubled girl. What should I do?"
"It's you I am troubled with!"
"Really? Should I take that as a hint that my existence has grown in you?"
Kurosu Shintarou attaches himself to me, as usual. He touches me as he pleases.
"Oh, senpai. There's something shining there. Ah, it was your fingernails. Kawai-senpai, your hair's pretty."
Maria realizes that she herself is slowly getting used to it or, rather, she was one who shirked from physical contact before. Tomoyo greets Maria as she enters the classroom. She notices Tomoyo's tangled hair and fixes it with a wet handkerchief. Tomoyo thanks her. Then, it is Tomoyo's turn to notice Maria's curls, which are set inwards properly, even her bangs. Ayu butts in, claiming that Maria's curls are nothing compared to her perfectly-styled hair, which takes her two hours to do every morning.
"Your silhouette, on the other hand, can be mistaken for a mushroom (because of your hair style)!"
"Mushroom!?"
"Pfft."
"Would you like to copy my hair style?"
"I don't."
"But I think curls fit you, Kawaii-san. Oh, what about doing it like this?"
"Ehhh, doesn't that make her look like a little girl? Oh well, it would be good for a change of image."
"What about a mohawk?"
"Your tastes are weird, Kousaka."
"Nakamura-san, you yourself fancied a princess-y style before."
Lately, I've been wanting to touch and be touched. It's vexing, but it's probably Kurosu Shintarou's influence.
On the other hand, Shin has a conversation with Shintarou on the rooftop.
"Calling me out here, I'm going to be lectured, aren't I? Meguro-senpai."
"Kurosu, what do you plan to do by approaching her?"
"By 'her', you mean Kawai-senpai? You don't have to speak in a roundabout way."
"I'm asking if you like Kawai!"
"I'm interested in her. I felt it when I saw her on tv by chance. She will be an existence closest to me more than anyone else. But it's just an intuition or a selfish thought. It's not the same as being similar. More like, I feel that we can understand each other the most. That's why I want to get to know her better. That's it, for now. But, from here on, I don't know what will happen. Will she be a senpai I respect or a girl I'd like to be mine?"
"Kurosu, don't you dare lay a hand on her if you're not serious about her."
"Why?"
"It'll be troublesome. For her sake, don't get any closer to her. Do you understand?"
"You're very egotistic, aren't you?
"Begining now, do you mean to drive away every man who tries to approach Kawai-senpai. In exchange for not laying a hand on her yourself, you want Kawai-senpai to be alone forever?"
"What do you know-!?"
"-I don't."
"You don't want her to be anybody else's. That's what you wish for, right? I definitely can't understand that kind of dark desire to monopolize. The truth is, you like it, don't you? Then it's alright for me to steal her. It's disgusting how you act sneakily behind people's backs.
"Your methods are dirty-"
"I don't want to be thought of as someone who's trying to eliminate the competition!*"
Shintarou is surprised by Shin's sudden outburst, which surprised Shin himself. Shin tries to explain Maria's circumstances, that her mother died while holding her when she was still very young and because of what happened, she grew afraid of being touched by others for a long time. When an adult embraced her, she would not stop repeating "I'm sorry". It would better to allow Maria to forget her painful memories.
Shintarou asks who Shin learned this from. Shin tells him that it was from a Sister in her previous school.
"Even the Sister knew about such a story?"
"She and Maria's mother were aquaintances from before."
"And you believe everything to be true even without proof?"
"I tried to find out more in other ways and I came to the conclusion that it wasn't a lie!"
"Is that so? Then, weren't you the fool for swallowing it whole? But it all comes down to one thing. You are only running away, from Kawai-senpai."
Shintarou continues to provoke Shin.
"Yet, you still want to monopolize her. If it was me, I wouldn't want to distance myself from the person I love, whatever happens. I'd want to embrace her and even have sex with her. And whatever comes along, we'd face it together. We'd worry about it together, then we'd conquer it together."
"You can talk all you want!"
"Should I make a move? Unlike you, who's a miserable perverse guy, I'm the type whose self-control is very low."
At this, Shin's face grows very red.
"Oh, right. Is it only the two of us who know about this? Good. It would be bad if Kanda-senpai knew about it too. That person seems to have a big heart. If I were Kawai-senpai, I would have fallen in love by now."
Afterwards, Shintarou visits Maria in her class and light-heartedly invites her on a date this Sunday. Maria refuses. Shintarou acts hurt but Maria points out that he asked her in such a non-serious manner that even if she turned him down, there would be no damage, which Shintarou is unable to refute. Even so, Shintarou still continues his pursuits. Shin tries to stop Shintarou by saying that Maria was going out with him on Sunday. Everyone is surprised, even Maria herself. Shintarou wonders why even Maria does not know about this.
"W-we were about to talk..."
Shintarou asks where they are planning to go? Shin is lost with words when Yuusuke saves him.
"Megu and I were just discussing about going to Megu's family's villa with everyone. We can stay there starting from Friday, I was saying."
"V-villa!? That's amazing!"
"We were planning on asking the girls just now. Megu was being misleading. Well, will everyone go?"
"Yuusuke's coming too!? Also, we're staying? I wanna go! I wanna go!"
"Yuusuke..."
"How great. Can't I come along too, senpai?"
"Oh that'll be good. Let's all go!"
"Yuu-!!"
"Rather than being alone together, it would be fun with more people around. Beside, even you are fine with everyone getting along, aren't you?"
"Even Kanda-senpai is irritated. Seeing someone as indecisive as you, even I would want to urge you."
"That's right. I may be cowardly and uncool, but I've decided. I will keep protecting her in my hidden way."
* The actual word used here is "to be the only survivor", but I think "trying to eliminate the competition" would flow better and get the point across just the same.
*****
Shintarou can read a person like Maria does but he is overestimating himself and underestimating the person. He did not know why Shin wanted so much to keep Maria away from him until Shin told him a bit about her past.
But really, there is something frustrating and agonizing about Shin's way of loving Maria. He is trying so much to keep distance physically, but emotionally and mentally, his heart and mind are solely hers. He is always looking out for her. There was a time when he wanted to be of comfort to her, but Maria chose to tell him to comfort her friend, Anna, instead.
After reading Chapter 49, I thought that Shin and Maria would finally unplug their pent-up feelings, after Anna stood in between them, but it seems that another stoppage cork in the form of one Kurosu. But shintarou is different from Anna, who was more of putting a strain on Maria due to their friendship. Shintarou's arrival is clearly intended to stir up Maria and Shin's relationship.
This rollercoaster turmoil of emotion is far from over.
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