(no subject)
Although I feel that anyone should be able to achieve whatever they wish so long as they set their heart on it, I am reminded at times of my limitations and how this may not be possible all the time, especially if it entails the cooperation of other parties as well. Sometimes we get so caught up in blaming ourselves that we forget to live.. Every moment is spent thinking of the past, regretting, feeling apologetic for past wrongs, wanting to redeem what had already been lost. I'd like very much to apologize, pretend nothing ever happened, and carry on like nothing's been changed. But it doesn't work like that. An apology may ease the conscience, but will do little to change the situation. I could say all I want, and it may make me feel better, but nothing will change, and I am at the mercy of time to heal the wounds, but leave the scars. Probably at the end of it all, it is self-love that will enable us to forgive ourselves. For there is no end to regrets, nor self-blame, and wallowing in self pity's like plunging into a never-ending abyss. And I need now to remember, that I can make a difference to other people out there. And there are dreams to realise, obstacles to overcome, joys to savour, and love to give and receive.
Yes I am sincerely sorry for all the ruckus, and never did expect that things would change so much (didn't happen this way when I was in a similar situration). Let nature take its course from now on. So let's just leave it at that.
Onward!