things arent fun.......

[bloodytears1706]

Well there is still a bunch of shit going around cause of fleesha and its pissing me the fuck off, well me and pat, him and i hung out today and went and applied for a few jobs and what not, we were talking about every thing with fleesha and then when we went over to his house she had left a message on the machine, he just laughed it off like pshh i aint callin her back. lol. and then we got to talking about adam cause i spent sometime last night crying about everything thats been going on lately. i dunno i think all my problems from exs arent gone like i thought, but yea i just cried cause i know it could be a better relationship if i actually completely trusted him and didnt get so damn jealous. and i was thinking about how i dont like seeing him staring at other chicks and talking about his exs, he says it should just make me wanna work harder, it doesnt it makes me feel like fucking dirt, like i am not good enough for him. and how everytime he makes fun of me about cars and shit and how i dont know that much, it makes me want to give up that dream of mine, and then theres his shit abou the way i dress preppy, it also makes me fel like shit especially when he threatens to walk away becasue of it, and how i am sick of when we hang out he goes and gets brad and i just sit in the back ground and feel ignored, i hate it, thats why i dont like hanging out around all of his friends even though i think there cool and i like being around all of them, just not all at once, because i am not a very sociable person.
i dunno some things need to change cause all of this hurts, i just feel like shit most of the time...