One more day

[bloodysunset]

 OK Russia. It was a long two weeks. In the end, I think you helped me  grow up a little. He called me anyway when he came home. Like I knew he would before I had time to dig myself into a trench of worries. He's still cute enough to say Hi, it's Alex. Oh honey, I know your voice like I know my own.  With enough time to spin myself into a web of destructive thoughts, I think these two weeks let me spin my web and forced me to untangle myself without your help. Trusting is like free falling, I need to believe that you will fall with me, catch me and crash with me if we want to. I need to believe that if I crash alone, it wont be the end. I need to believe that if I dont have a reason to not trust you, then I can trust you. I cant theorize a million different "what ifs", Ill only dig my trench of worries.

Trust is terrifying. If i dont let go, Ill never face my fears.